Clearing up Christian Misconceptions

[A-№1]

Also, another current topic, of which I Confide into you with full trust. I am thinking of setting aside $100 for a lady of Escort Service, or an S.T.D.-free Prostitute in other words, to have sexual intercourse with on my upcoming Birthday, February 24. I await your swift reply with your thoughts on the topic.
Jan 9, 2010

Since this is the thread for it, can I get something cleared up? Is that $100 just what Chris believed a hooker would cost him? Or did that poor girl really only get $100 to service Chris? If not, do we have any accurate info on just how much tugboat Chris did have to part with to part with his virginity?

I think it's still disputed if he's an actual racist, though I don't think he is.

"Racist" is a bit of a catch-all term. It can mean KKK, skinhead "eliminate/deport anyone who isn't pure white". I don't see any reason to believe Chris feels this way.

It can also refer to people who subscribe to stereotypes about other races, and are a little uncomfortable around them. The type of person who begins a lot of sentences "I am not racist, but ..." This often arises from a lack of cultural exposure and ignorance. There have been several little pieces of evidence that Chris fits in this group, although maybe not to a huge level.

"Racist" is also way to overcharged a word in our overly sensitive, thin skinned, quick to take offense world. What matters is the intent behind it, really.

I know some old coffin dodgers who use racist terms all the time, constantly and universally, but without disparaging intent. They are indiscriminate in their racial discrimination, as it were.

But with Chris it's not like that. He most definitely holds disparaging intent, no matter what he says. In other words, Chris could say "african american" and it would still sound like it has two 'g's in the middle.

As a side note, he always describes his sweetheart as "non-black". I don't think it is racist at all to be attracted to certain races over others. I am just a little confused when people express it publicly, because it seems likely to rub people the wrong way. I am not confused about Chris, he is clueless, but I have spent some time on online dating sites and noticed it there. I have read multiple girls profiles saying "I am not into black guys". It strikes me that it would be easy to ignore/politely rebuff a potential black suitor if you don't put that in, but it doesn't seem like the most likely way to impress a white guy who may be into you.

There is absolutely no accounting for aesthetic preference. Ever. There are probably as many, if not more, women with online dating profiles specifically looking for "Big Black Cock" than ones who state a preference for white partners. So is either really racist? Nah. They're just into whatever they're into and it's nobody else's business.

Speaking from trolling experience, if you really want to rub people the wrong way on a dating forum, "no fat chicks" will enrage a LOT more people than "no darkies".

But Chris' racism goes beyond aesthetics. It's fairly well documented he really did think black gamers at the game place would steal his precious pokemon cards given the chance. Because they were black. That's Chris' brand of racism.

Here's one that I've been wondering about...

It's been said several times on the forum that Chris believed, before he went to court over the hit & run, that he would somehow be given ownership of The Game Place, and Snyder would go to jail, but I've not seen any of that on the cwcki. Is that something that he actually said, or is it a case of "Yeah, Chris would totally think this" and it eventually became accepted as TRUE and HONEST?

It's not a case of "Yeah, Chris would totally think this."

I don't know about public evidence of it, though. We might need to work on getting that.

I heard that one from Alec, and that's good enough for me. If sources need to be protected, then they need to be protected. Also where Chris is concerned, "It's just crazy stupid enough to be true," is a valid line of reasoning.

I mean, if you had gun, would you keep a kid like Chris around the house

Reworded, because that can go two ways.

 

[CatParty]

There's no evidence that Bob ever owned a gun, even though he's an old guy from Texas.

I mean, if you had a kid like Chris, would you keep a gun around the house

Just in case......

 

[Grand Number of Pounds]

I mean, if you had a gun, would you keep a kid like Chris around the house

Reworded, because that can go two ways.

Fair enough

 

[Descent]

Essentially this, though I think he had Phoenix Wright more in mind (with maybe a dash of Perry Mason). Except, like you said, it wasn't a tense and dramatic shouting match to determine who was the guilty party; the question was rather 'how hard can we nail the guilty party?'

I want to believe Chris thought the trial would be like the end of issue 10.

 

[BillRiley]

Also, another current topic, of which I Confide into you with full trust. I am thinking of setting aside $100 for a lady of Escort Service, or an S.T.D.-free Prostitute in other words, to have sexual intercourse with on my upcoming Birthday, February 24. I await your swift reply with your thoughts on the topic.
Jan 9, 2010

Since this is the thread for it, can I get something cleared up? Is that $100 just what Chris believed a hooker would cost him? Or did that poor girl really only get $100 to service Chris? If not, do we have any accurate info on just how much tugboat Chris did have to part with to part with his virginity?

I don't know where the $100 figure came from. There's a story going around that Chris-Ch­an somehow worked up the nerve to actually call an escort service and tried to bargain with the prostitute. If that's true, maybe that's where he got the figure.

As far as the 'gift basket' goes, I don't know how much tugboat it cost Our Autistic Hero. Who knows? Maybe the guy that set it up paid for it too.

 

[CatParty]

i'm pretty sure he didn't do the actual contacting and it was a friend who did it for him

 

[bradsternum]

I hope the gift baskets had some decorative soaps and vaginal cleanser in it.

 

[DrChristianTroy]

I like to think it was a collection of half eaten candies and a drawing of their awful, unholy act.

 

[The Dude]

I like to think it was a collection of half eaten candies and a drawing of their awful, unholy act.

He probably drew her a Hand Drawn ORIGINAL comic with her VERY OWN ORIGINAL Electric Hedgehog Pokemon character to commemorate the occasion.

 

[Kosher Dill]

We've actually seen the gift basket. Chris tried to sell it on Ebay when it was no longer needed. It was just a store-bought shrinkwrapped basket with lavender soap and shampoo and such.

 

[DrChristianTroy]

We've actually seen the gift basket. Chris tried to sell it on Ebay when it was no longer needed. It was just a store-bought shrinkwrapped basket with lavender soap and shampoo and such.

So why exactly did Chris get the hooker a gift basket? Because considering he would forget his own fathers birthday and get him CVS candy this kind of surprised me. Also I wonder if Barb actually went with him to get the gift basket.

 

[Kosher Dill]

Because "gift basket" is prostitute-code for payment. If a cop tries to bust them, they'll say "Oh no, I'm not having sex for money, we're just good friends who have sex, and he gave me a gift envelope that happened to have $100 in it. Because friends give each other gifts." Naturally, this doesn't actually hold up in court.

Chris, not knowing this, thought he was literally supposed to buy a gift basket.

 

[Smutley]

Because "gift basket" is prostitute-code for payment. If a cop tries to bust them, they'll say "Oh no, I'm not having sex for money, we're just good friends who have sex, and he gave me a gift envelope that happened to have $100 in it. Because friends give each other gifts." Naturally, this doesn't actually hold up in court.

Chris, not knowing this, thought he was literally supposed to buy a gift basket.

There is a very large part of me that so wants this to be true. I don't have any reason to doubt you at all, it's just so absurdly funny for anyone else but Christian I'd think it was a joke.

 

[DrChristianTroy]

Because "gift basket" is prostitute-code for payment. If a cop tries to bust them, they'll say "Oh no, I'm not having sex for money, we're just good friends who have sex, and he gave me a gift envelope that happened to have $100 in it. Because friends give each other gifts." Naturally, this doesn't actually hold up in court.

Chris, not knowing this, thought he was literally supposed to buy a gift basket.

That's what I thought. Still I love the idea of him being so happy to lose it he bought a gift basket from Food Lion.

 

[ChurchOfGodBear]

My personal pet peeve: Chris isn't on his way to a state-funded group home at any point.

 

[The Knife]

Because "gift basket" is prostitute-code for payment. If a cop tries to bust them, they'll say "Oh no, I'm not having sex for money, we're just good friends who have sex, and he gave me a gift envelope that happened to have $100 in it. Because friends give each other gifts." Naturally, this doesn't actually hold up in court.

Chris, not knowing this, thought he was literally supposed to buy a gift basket.

I kind of thought that maybe in Chris-think, he thought that giving the chick a present meant that the whole thing was actually a date. Or maybe his own personal Pretty-Woman scenario, where if he gave her a present, she would think to herself, "Gee, what a thoughtful, considerate guy this is. I'd sure like to hook up with him off the clock" thereby insuring Chris with a lifetime of hot-and-cold running china.

 

[BillRiley]

i'm pretty sure he didn't do the actual contacting and it was a friend who did it for him

No, I meant about where Chris got the $100 figure. I think it was in 2010 or 2011. he supposedly called a prostitute and tried to bargain with her. Evidently she hung up on him.

Because "gift basket" is prostitute-code for payment. If a cop tries to bust them, they'll say "Oh no, I'm not having sex for money, we're just good friends who have sex, and he gave me a gift envelope that happened to have $100 in it. Because friends give each other gifts." Naturally, this doesn't actually hold up in court.

Chris, not knowing this, thought he was literally supposed to buy a gift basket.

That's what I thought. Still I love the idea of him being so happy to lose it he bought a gift basket from Food Lion.

It was from Wal-Mart, iirc.

My personal pet peeve: Chris isn't on his way to a state-funded group home at any point.

What state-funded group home?

 

[A-№1]

My personal pet peeve: Chris isn't on his way to a state-funded group home at any point.

My personal pet peeve is that he might be.

Our resources are sadly limited, and Chris would only be wasting space someone else deserves more. There are a lot of people who need help a lot more than Chris, and who will actually make good use of that help.

 

[JarlaxleBaenre]

Because "gift basket" is prostitute-code for payment. If a cop tries to bust them, they'll say "Oh no, I'm not having sex for money, we're just good friends who have sex, and he gave me a gift envelope that happened to have $100 in it. Because friends give each other gifts." Naturally, this doesn't actually hold up in court.

Chris, not knowing this, thought he was literally supposed to buy a gift basket.

There should be no misconception about Chris. He is ever the troll.

 

[GFYS]

...if you had a kid like Chris, would you keep a gun around the house

Absolutely. If shit goes sideways after Bricktoberfest, you might have to humanely put Lennie down like in To Kill A Mockingbird (according to Chris), or eat a bullet yourself.

My personal pet peeve: Chris isn't on his way to a state-funded group home at any point.

State-funded playpens for poor misunderstood autistic adults are a myth, like sasquatch or Rusty Blackleford. I think it's perpetuated because some folks just can't stomach how much worse Chris' future prospects really are, or how unforgiving the world can be.



Anyone else suddenly feel the need for a stiff drink?