Ok, I see what you mean.
I've said before that Zack will never be able to go back to any semblance of a life he had before making himself, as you put it, a visible participant in the culture war (and by most accounts it doesn't seem like his life was all that great before he started ripping up comics on YouTube). He's publicly said and done some embarrassing shit, but that's part of the human condition isn't it?
The part I find most puzzling is that Zack all of a sudden gives a fuck about the consequences of this stuff. I've rhetorically asked why he doesn't just lean into this shit since he'll never live down the dumb stuff and just make millions of dollars writing Jawbreakers twice a year while doing his comic sperg schtick on YouTube. It seems like the choice between that and becoming what he's become would be pretty easy. As I said once on this topic, he's already paid for dinner so he may as well eat it.
Whenever I think I understand Zack and what his thought process might be, he completely changes it.
Sometimes I think he honestly regrets the things he said about Mags and Heather Antos, and that explains his scrubbing his channel content. But then just this past month, he's made half a dozen more scathing video about each, so I guess I don't understand. His recent Vita Ayala content borders on him at his peak.
Are these videos moments of doubt on his part? ("I NEED to do this kind of content to please my base.") Or are they sincere? Don't know.
Obviously, I agree with you about your dinner metaphor. The only way forward is pedal to the metal and to enjoy being The Voice to counter the radical left in comics. It's quite a privilege, and he could be enjoying the fun and the money that comes with it. But something won't let him.
He seems fixated on this idea of a "debt" from quitting the lawsuit. Do you think (as many of us here do) that this was the breaking point for him personally and professionally? It certainly seems like everything he's been doing can be traced back to that.
I get that he feels he owes something to his audience for dropping the suit after getting a lot of money donated by that audience. That's completely understandable from his perspective. But I think if there's a debt owed to the audience it would be better settled by continuing to do what he was doing and what he built his audience on. Even after dropping the suit, his audience would have stuck around if he'd just leveled with everyone and kept doing his Zack thing. Instead, he did a 180 on everything he used to rail against, stretched himself too thin with unfulfilled campaigns and acted like a dick when his audience complained about late books.
Hindsight being 20/20, he never should have sued Waid in the first place. The crowdfunding success of Jawbreakers to the tune of $400k deflated any argument he may have had about Waid ruining his ability to publish the book and make money. If he'd let Waid's bullshit slide, he could have just sat on his pile of money and still be legally able to make fun of Mark Waid while proving he could succeed on his own.
Suing Mark Waid was ultimately his decision, as was streaming the "Dark Roast", choosing to go on Jim Jefferies' show instead of Rogan, and all the other retarded shit he's been canceled, demonized, and blacklisted for. It seems like instead of internalizing the blame, processing it and continuing on with what started out as a pretty lucrative career, he's turned on people who wanted to help him (as well as a fair number of his backers) and made things more difficult for himself for no real reason.
None of us went through that lawsuit with him, and so we can't really know how bad it was for someone like him, who already has anxiety problems. When I found out that there was going to be a mutual "walking away" solution, I got a really bad sinking feeling. I told him we'd raise more money if he needed it, whatever. But he was at peace with his choice and he never told me his reasons outside of a general "life's too short" sentiment.
When you say it'd be better settled by continuing to do what he was doing, he agrees, and he says, "But for how much longer?" It feels like a prison sentence to this guy.
Think of how weird all of this is. He noticed the comic book industry was rotting, and his friends were making money doing YouTube videos about it. He started doing his own for the cash, and rapidly became the most popular voice, and the guy that turned over the first rock in the ComicsGate culture war. They actually wanted him dead. And for what? The comics biz can't be saved. He's never going to get to write Spider-Man, and his name is mud.
He just wanted to pay a few bills with comic review videos.
The good thing is making his own comics. The bad thing is literally everything else.
If I could go back in time, I'd definitely change a few things. War Campaign wouldn't exist, because I'd have ignored Tim Lim's gay night letter about his indie pals. A few other minor changes, but I'd mostly do the exact same things.
I'd bet if you asked Zack, he'd tell you he wouldn't have gotten involved at all.