KiwiChud
kiwifarms.net
- Joined
- Aug 3, 2024
Transcript:
Hi everyone, it's your boy Zach, and you, yes you, are not funny. I say this with complete confidence because most people are not funny. It's a very safe bet just to point at random people and say, you're not funny, you're not funny, because most likely, I mean super majority, ninety nine point nine percent, they aren't funny.
The problem is that not funny people used to know they're not funny, and they would never ever be funny. And now everybody thinks they're fucking hilarious, and if you're a fan of comedy, it's like living in hell. Every freaking just, uh, working hard or hardly working, they just think they're fucking hilarious.
So there's a Lobo ongoing series, and the art is freaking fantastic, although I do have some issues with it. But it's not funny. In fact, it is horribly unfunny.
So before I start, oh, before I, before I start, I'm still trying to find, well, I'm not actively looking, I'm kind of putting it off onto other people. I need to start paying for these pirated comics that I read. I don't want to buy them on Amazon because most of the money, or at least half the money, goes to Amazon.
It's ridiculous to pay full price for a digital file. So I want to give the money to a comic book shop, but I don't go to comic book shops. So I need someone to say like, hey, we will take your money.
So I'm gonna add up at the end of the month everything I read, except for two things. Number one is I'm not gonna pay for the back issues I read. I'm not.
Number two is I'm not going to pay for the books that I never would have bought in a million years, but I just read them on a pirate site because they were free. I know the type of stuff that I would buy if I went to the comic book stores, and they didn't smell like BO. I would absolutely try out the first couple issues of Lobo.
I would absolutely buy the first couple issues of Deathstroke. Deathstroke 2 was really good. I was gonna do a whole video on this, but then I looked at some other comics that came out this week from the same company, and they didn't have the same issue.
The freaking lettering is tiny, and it's not just tiny. It's this really thin font, which just gives the impression that everybody is whispering the entire time. Really good art.
This guy, I'm blanking on his name. I'm always surprised when any superhero or antihero has blonde hair. I don't know why.
For some reason growing up, I just got into my head that every superhero except for Aquaman had brown or red or black hair. So it always just throws me for a loop like, what? Deathstroke had blonde hair before it went gray? That's crazy. Fantastic art.
Good story. Just everybody's whispering like, Deathstroke, you're under arrest. Come out with your hands up.
Like, he's five feet away. He's like, I disagree. Is somebody napping in the other room? Like, why are you so quiet? Even the credits are like super small, but that was just like a one-off weird thing.
I remember a couple years ago, Murder Falcon by Daniel Warren Johnson. Just the teeniest, tiniest lettering. But, um, so anyway, um, people aren't funny.
You are not funny. Statistically, you are not funny. There's a better chance that you're amusing, and amusing is good.
Just, just, if you're amusing, be happy with that. Don't try to be funny. That's not how it works.
You're amusing. So, um, this is neither funny nor amusing. It is a guy with, I'm just gonna say no sense of humor, trying to write humor, and it's terrible.
And I can explain why. Visually. Everybody talks in a paragraph.
It's like a Jimmy Pomiody comic. Almost every line, please look at the screen, is a paragraph, and a long paragraph. Even the freaking caption is a long paragraph.
And as you can see, this isn't just like a page or two, you know, for exposition. Every line of dialogue, well, there's one that's one word, two words, but you can see, the majority of the dialogue is paragraphs. So, if you're not funny, you're gonna be like, woke Zack meltdown.
And, but it's like, if you're funny, or if you're amusing, which is what I can be, and you understand being funny, but you're not actually funny, but you get it, and you admire it, this is the opposite of humor. I'll give an example. Um, uh, God, I'm blanking on the guy's name.
He was in Jerry Maguire. He was the guy who, he didn't get kicked off of Saturday Night Live, but he, like, copied jokes. He got a really good hair transplant, and his wife is super rich.
I still, everyone else knows his name right now. So he's telling a story about the writing room for Saturday Night Live, and the schedule of Saturday Night Live is insane, because it was created in the 1970s when everyone was on cocaine, and the only way you can really keep up is if you are on cocaine. But it sounds like most of them are not these days.
So they're, the writing night, I think it's like Tuesdays, goes to like two, three, four, five in the morning. It's insane. You gotta work the next day.
Um, so they're doing this thing where it's like, um, Chris Farley, and he's ordering at a drive-thru. And the joke is, he's a fat guy ordering a lot of food. So he's like, I want 15 apple pies, and 15 sundaes, and 15 sodas, and 15 hot dogs, and it just goes on and on and on and on and on.
And so finally, it's funny. He's fat. He's ordering a lot of food.
It's Chris Farley. He's gonna ham it up. They don't have a punchline.
So they go all around the room. And, you know, one guy wants to repeat the entire order. Or one person says like, oh, I want to switch it to a Diet Coke.
You know, it's funny. Oh, 15 Diet Cokes when you've ordered like 10,000 calories worth of food. And then, uh, Jay Moore.
That's the guy. And then, uh, Jay says, they didn't kind of notice, like, uh, goddammit, Norm Macdonald was in the room. Um, it's like four in the morning.
Everyone's basically hallucinating. So, uh, Norm is like, ah, so you got the joke. See, it's like 15 apple pies, and 15 sundaes, and 15 Diet Cokes.
That's pretty funny. And he's like, uh, I think I can solve your punchline problem. He's like, uh, when the cashier asks him, uh, if that's everything, he says, yes.
Like I said, I'm not funny. I'm amusing. I can't be.
That's an awesome punchline. They didn't try to top it. They didn't try to double it.
They didn't try to do some weird metatextual twist. Long setup. One word punchline.
Three letters. Another analogy before I go. God, this is so funny.
This is horrifying. Look at this. This is supposed to be funny.
That's just it. They never know what they want. They want what we tell them to want.
And then they say that they don't want that. We come up with other things we tell them they want, and so on, and so on. So we've decided that their anti-hero needs to come up against a full-blown hero.
What? This isn't funny. Just because you draw things funny, it doesn't make them funny. But the another analogy is I had a buddy.
He went to go visit the Great Wall of China. And so people said, what was it like? It would have been funny if he just said like, eh. But he goes, it was exhausting, which was weird because this guy's in really good shape.
Like really good shape. It's exhausting. He goes, let me explain.
It's very old. Every single step, and there's a million steps, are different heights. So you can't get a rhythm.
Every time you've ever gone up the stairs, every stair has been the same height. So you just kind of get into this rhythm, and you go up it. But when every stair is a different height, your brain doesn't know what's next.
And that's, to me, an analogy for comedy. That you have to be surprised. There has to be some twist.
Writing comedy that is nothing but freaking paragraphs is not writing comedy. It's something else. It's like conservative humor where they're like, we're gonna go bother this guy and see if he gets bothered.
Oh my god, he got bothered just because we bothered him. What a soy boy beta cuck. It's like, I hate you so much.
There's all sorts of bad humor. I've never seen this in real life. This might be like food fights, like where everyone says like, has anyone actually seen a food fight in a cafeteria in real life? But the prank they do where someone's like, hey, come check this out, and you put something above the door.
So when they walk through, something drops on their head, then you laugh at them. What's the joke? That they aren't like those like spetsnaz commandos, or what is that, GSG9? And you just kind of like treat everything like it. What's the joke? That they walk through a doorway? That's not, I would just shoot them and kill them.
And at the trial, it's like, your honor, the humor was so bad. So what am I supposed to do? I'm supposed to be nervous walking through every doorway for the rest of my life? No, this was not planned. I'll do 5, 10, maybe 15 years.
And then I will get out, and nobody will ever put a prank on me ever again. That's the plan. But yeah, so don't judge a book by its cover, but you can definitely judge it by the interiors.
And this shit sucks. Good art, for the most part, but then again, I would actually say like, it's weird. It's like, this actually, this bothered me.
Because like, the joke is like, ha ha, we can see his underwear. But like, it bothered me that it's parallel to the ground. Comedy isn't in the parallel and the perpendicular.
Comedy is not in the interval. Comedy is in something unexpected that isn't a bucket of water dropping on your head. That's just surprising someone.
That's not a twist. They weren't foolish, you know? Someone just said like, hey, check this out. They went to go check something out.
I just shoot him with a gun. Just dead. But I like this knife.
I like this knife a lot. But yeah, so this is horribly unfunny to the point where I would describe it as chip. This is a dark scam.
It's Scotty Young. I kind of missed out on the whole popularity of Scotty Young. I was asking a friend.
It's like, yeah, it was like 20 years ago. You were probably deployed. His thing was that he has cute characters do violence.
And that's apparently hilarious forever. I would say, I would contend that he has a very fun art style and he's not actually funny. It's like Mirka Andalfo.
Andalfo? She's such a nice person. She's such a good artist that I would read her comedy stuff and it was terrible. I was like, you know what? She speaks Italian.
This is being translated. She's probably hilarious in Italian. And I had Italian people say, no, she's not funny in Italian either.
Her jokes are just like, somebody's extremely hungry. Somebody is extremely angry. Somebody is extremely horny.
Horny. That's it. That's like all of her jokes are just being very something.
And he's like, no, we like her. She's nice. She has a a cute, fun, sexy art style.
She is horribly unfunny in her native language. It's not going to get better or even worse through translation. So, yeah, so just to say yes.
Greatest punchline ever. My Norm Macdonald impersonation. Passing.
If you prank me with a bucket over a door, I'll kill you. And you can actually see if a book is not funny by flipping through it. You don't even have to read the words.
If you see just a bunch of paragraphs and like half of them are like squarish because they're like transmissions. No, it's not funny. Okay, so there's a couple of short words, but it's a lot.
It's a lot of this. It's a lot of this. One simple trick for telling, being able to tell if a comedy comic book is horrifically unfunny.
Anyway, thanks for watching. Bye.
[SPOILER/]
The problem is that not funny people used to know they're not funny, and they would never ever be funny. And now everybody thinks they're fucking hilarious, and if you're a fan of comedy, it's like living in hell. Every freaking just, uh, working hard or hardly working, they just think they're fucking hilarious.
So there's a Lobo ongoing series, and the art is freaking fantastic, although I do have some issues with it. But it's not funny. In fact, it is horribly unfunny.
So before I start, oh, before I, before I start, I'm still trying to find, well, I'm not actively looking, I'm kind of putting it off onto other people. I need to start paying for these pirated comics that I read. I don't want to buy them on Amazon because most of the money, or at least half the money, goes to Amazon.
It's ridiculous to pay full price for a digital file. So I want to give the money to a comic book shop, but I don't go to comic book shops. So I need someone to say like, hey, we will take your money.
So I'm gonna add up at the end of the month everything I read, except for two things. Number one is I'm not gonna pay for the back issues I read. I'm not.
Number two is I'm not going to pay for the books that I never would have bought in a million years, but I just read them on a pirate site because they were free. I know the type of stuff that I would buy if I went to the comic book stores, and they didn't smell like BO. I would absolutely try out the first couple issues of Lobo.
I would absolutely buy the first couple issues of Deathstroke. Deathstroke 2 was really good. I was gonna do a whole video on this, but then I looked at some other comics that came out this week from the same company, and they didn't have the same issue.
The freaking lettering is tiny, and it's not just tiny. It's this really thin font, which just gives the impression that everybody is whispering the entire time. Really good art.
This guy, I'm blanking on his name. I'm always surprised when any superhero or antihero has blonde hair. I don't know why.
For some reason growing up, I just got into my head that every superhero except for Aquaman had brown or red or black hair. So it always just throws me for a loop like, what? Deathstroke had blonde hair before it went gray? That's crazy. Fantastic art.
Good story. Just everybody's whispering like, Deathstroke, you're under arrest. Come out with your hands up.
Like, he's five feet away. He's like, I disagree. Is somebody napping in the other room? Like, why are you so quiet? Even the credits are like super small, but that was just like a one-off weird thing.
I remember a couple years ago, Murder Falcon by Daniel Warren Johnson. Just the teeniest, tiniest lettering. But, um, so anyway, um, people aren't funny.
You are not funny. Statistically, you are not funny. There's a better chance that you're amusing, and amusing is good.
Just, just, if you're amusing, be happy with that. Don't try to be funny. That's not how it works.
You're amusing. So, um, this is neither funny nor amusing. It is a guy with, I'm just gonna say no sense of humor, trying to write humor, and it's terrible.
And I can explain why. Visually. Everybody talks in a paragraph.
It's like a Jimmy Pomiody comic. Almost every line, please look at the screen, is a paragraph, and a long paragraph. Even the freaking caption is a long paragraph.
And as you can see, this isn't just like a page or two, you know, for exposition. Every line of dialogue, well, there's one that's one word, two words, but you can see, the majority of the dialogue is paragraphs. So, if you're not funny, you're gonna be like, woke Zack meltdown.
And, but it's like, if you're funny, or if you're amusing, which is what I can be, and you understand being funny, but you're not actually funny, but you get it, and you admire it, this is the opposite of humor. I'll give an example. Um, uh, God, I'm blanking on the guy's name.
He was in Jerry Maguire. He was the guy who, he didn't get kicked off of Saturday Night Live, but he, like, copied jokes. He got a really good hair transplant, and his wife is super rich.
I still, everyone else knows his name right now. So he's telling a story about the writing room for Saturday Night Live, and the schedule of Saturday Night Live is insane, because it was created in the 1970s when everyone was on cocaine, and the only way you can really keep up is if you are on cocaine. But it sounds like most of them are not these days.
So they're, the writing night, I think it's like Tuesdays, goes to like two, three, four, five in the morning. It's insane. You gotta work the next day.
Um, so they're doing this thing where it's like, um, Chris Farley, and he's ordering at a drive-thru. And the joke is, he's a fat guy ordering a lot of food. So he's like, I want 15 apple pies, and 15 sundaes, and 15 sodas, and 15 hot dogs, and it just goes on and on and on and on and on.
And so finally, it's funny. He's fat. He's ordering a lot of food.
It's Chris Farley. He's gonna ham it up. They don't have a punchline.
So they go all around the room. And, you know, one guy wants to repeat the entire order. Or one person says like, oh, I want to switch it to a Diet Coke.
You know, it's funny. Oh, 15 Diet Cokes when you've ordered like 10,000 calories worth of food. And then, uh, Jay Moore.
That's the guy. And then, uh, Jay says, they didn't kind of notice, like, uh, goddammit, Norm Macdonald was in the room. Um, it's like four in the morning.
Everyone's basically hallucinating. So, uh, Norm is like, ah, so you got the joke. See, it's like 15 apple pies, and 15 sundaes, and 15 Diet Cokes.
That's pretty funny. And he's like, uh, I think I can solve your punchline problem. He's like, uh, when the cashier asks him, uh, if that's everything, he says, yes.
Like I said, I'm not funny. I'm amusing. I can't be.
That's an awesome punchline. They didn't try to top it. They didn't try to double it.
They didn't try to do some weird metatextual twist. Long setup. One word punchline.
Three letters. Another analogy before I go. God, this is so funny.
This is horrifying. Look at this. This is supposed to be funny.
That's just it. They never know what they want. They want what we tell them to want.
And then they say that they don't want that. We come up with other things we tell them they want, and so on, and so on. So we've decided that their anti-hero needs to come up against a full-blown hero.
What? This isn't funny. Just because you draw things funny, it doesn't make them funny. But the another analogy is I had a buddy.
He went to go visit the Great Wall of China. And so people said, what was it like? It would have been funny if he just said like, eh. But he goes, it was exhausting, which was weird because this guy's in really good shape.
Like really good shape. It's exhausting. He goes, let me explain.
It's very old. Every single step, and there's a million steps, are different heights. So you can't get a rhythm.
Every time you've ever gone up the stairs, every stair has been the same height. So you just kind of get into this rhythm, and you go up it. But when every stair is a different height, your brain doesn't know what's next.
And that's, to me, an analogy for comedy. That you have to be surprised. There has to be some twist.
Writing comedy that is nothing but freaking paragraphs is not writing comedy. It's something else. It's like conservative humor where they're like, we're gonna go bother this guy and see if he gets bothered.
Oh my god, he got bothered just because we bothered him. What a soy boy beta cuck. It's like, I hate you so much.
There's all sorts of bad humor. I've never seen this in real life. This might be like food fights, like where everyone says like, has anyone actually seen a food fight in a cafeteria in real life? But the prank they do where someone's like, hey, come check this out, and you put something above the door.
So when they walk through, something drops on their head, then you laugh at them. What's the joke? That they aren't like those like spetsnaz commandos, or what is that, GSG9? And you just kind of like treat everything like it. What's the joke? That they walk through a doorway? That's not, I would just shoot them and kill them.
And at the trial, it's like, your honor, the humor was so bad. So what am I supposed to do? I'm supposed to be nervous walking through every doorway for the rest of my life? No, this was not planned. I'll do 5, 10, maybe 15 years.
And then I will get out, and nobody will ever put a prank on me ever again. That's the plan. But yeah, so don't judge a book by its cover, but you can definitely judge it by the interiors.
And this shit sucks. Good art, for the most part, but then again, I would actually say like, it's weird. It's like, this actually, this bothered me.
Because like, the joke is like, ha ha, we can see his underwear. But like, it bothered me that it's parallel to the ground. Comedy isn't in the parallel and the perpendicular.
Comedy is not in the interval. Comedy is in something unexpected that isn't a bucket of water dropping on your head. That's just surprising someone.
That's not a twist. They weren't foolish, you know? Someone just said like, hey, check this out. They went to go check something out.
I just shoot him with a gun. Just dead. But I like this knife.
I like this knife a lot. But yeah, so this is horribly unfunny to the point where I would describe it as chip. This is a dark scam.
It's Scotty Young. I kind of missed out on the whole popularity of Scotty Young. I was asking a friend.
It's like, yeah, it was like 20 years ago. You were probably deployed. His thing was that he has cute characters do violence.
And that's apparently hilarious forever. I would say, I would contend that he has a very fun art style and he's not actually funny. It's like Mirka Andalfo.
Andalfo? She's such a nice person. She's such a good artist that I would read her comedy stuff and it was terrible. I was like, you know what? She speaks Italian.
This is being translated. She's probably hilarious in Italian. And I had Italian people say, no, she's not funny in Italian either.
Her jokes are just like, somebody's extremely hungry. Somebody is extremely angry. Somebody is extremely horny.
Horny. That's it. That's like all of her jokes are just being very something.
And he's like, no, we like her. She's nice. She has a a cute, fun, sexy art style.
She is horribly unfunny in her native language. It's not going to get better or even worse through translation. So, yeah, so just to say yes.
Greatest punchline ever. My Norm Macdonald impersonation. Passing.
If you prank me with a bucket over a door, I'll kill you. And you can actually see if a book is not funny by flipping through it. You don't even have to read the words.
If you see just a bunch of paragraphs and like half of them are like squarish because they're like transmissions. No, it's not funny. Okay, so there's a couple of short words, but it's a lot.
It's a lot of this. It's a lot of this. One simple trick for telling, being able to tell if a comedy comic book is horrifically unfunny.
Anyway, thanks for watching. Bye.
[SPOILER/]
