Moving forward.
I’m aware that I have a pattern of getting upset and lashing out.
When I made the recent 5 page comic, it was an attempt to push people away and at least control the narrative. If I was going to be a villain it would at least be on my own terms.
I am aware this isn’t a healthy way to react, and is something I’m working on with a therapist. I have an amazing girlfriend who wants me to do better, so I wanted to write this with her.
It’s important that I be clear that nothing of what I said was an attempt to attack anyone’s race or gender. (The character Stanley, from 1994’s a Troll in Central park is in no way a depiction of a black person, but it was also a shitty thing to do.) I took it down after speaking to a peer about how I shouldn’t treat other people in such an aggressive way because of how i felt i was being treated. It was punching down and it was mean for the sake of being mean. I am sorry for how I expressed myself.
This is no way an attempt to redeem myself, ask for pity or paint myself as anything other than a flawed person who would ideally like to do better.
The last few years have been rough in my personal life – to put it mildly – personal stuff followed by public professional failures that I was in no good position to handle with tact. These aren’t excuses, I just want to be honest about where my head has been at.
If I had to do it over again I would’ve directly reached out to the woman who had made the initial accusation against me. but I found it to be so insulting and dramatic that I didn’t feel like it left me with any middle ground to meet on. I can say with certainty and self-awareness that I’m not a predator or a serial harasser, I’ve been with a few trans women over the years but to call that a pattern of abuse that I’m lying about is overreaching as well as dismissive to the agency of the women I’ve seen. –
Regardless, I didn’t handle it well and would do things differently.
When me and Alejandra talked about writing this a big part of it was in both of our frustration in how she has been depicted as an victim or a child.
I feel like anyone who has ever spoken to her would be well aware than neither are the case– she has been through so much in her life and has managed to grow from rough experiences into a stronger and better person, something that I admire in her and hope to learn from myself.
- Brandon
