- Joined
- Jun 4, 2019
As anyone who likes making fun of incels knows, they're very apt to PM you asking for advice on how to get laid. It's exasperating, because courtship is like singing or shooting a bow-- I can tell you asbolutely everything I know about it, and you'll never be able to learn, because it's not about thinking-- you just have to DO it. Pointers might be helpful, as observing a skilled practitioner, but it is ultimately just one of those things that's outside the scope of "read the instructions and follow them."
Well, I wanted to say that I do have good news. Getting a girl to want to touch your peepee may be all about subtle laughs and winks and sighs that autism can't handle well, but once you have her on the hook, making her love you is a simple matter of hard work and attention to duty. I can't tell you how to engender lust, but I CAN tell you how to grow the garden of love. Matter of fact, they make you take classes on the subject in boot camp.
If you've been raised on a steady diet of romcoms, this may sound very silly. If you think I'm making jokes, you really should read on. If not, read on anyway, because I like attention.
First of all, let's talk about the "unconditional love" damaged people mistakenly seek in a romantic partner. It doesn't exist. Or, if you're a fan of the Bible, it DOES exist, but humans are not capable of it.
The closest thing in the human world to unconditional love is that of a Mother for her children. There are unnatural mothers, but for the most part, your Mama loves you no matter what, seriously. It's one of the differences between men and women-- the latter can experience motherly love from both sides. Dads get gyped.
Fatherly love is more conditional than Motherly, but a lot of Fathers are there from the time their kids are born, so they develop a slight reflection of motherly love. The military model of leadership is usually expressed as fatherhood, because it is, when correctly done, non-sexual. Love is love, as people talking about butt sex often say. Military leadership is a trick to use love to get men to kill each other.
If you're uncomfortable with the idea of a husband being his wife's leader, get over it. It is necessarily so. I say "leader," not "ruler." Some women do want a ruler, and while I can't see the advantage in a slave for a wife, one must allow for variations. However, no matter how egalitarian your relationship, one person must at least lead as one leads a dance, else comes stasis and failure. Women, generally speaking, prefer to follow their man's lead. If you're a woman who wants to lead her husband, I guess this is for you as well.
So, to the point of the matter. You've got yourself a nice GF who eats hot dogs and wears T-shirts with you into a loving wife? I see a lot of guys who never take this step, and suppose that love is either a fruity feeling or something that flows out of getting a certificate from the court house. They narry their girlfriend because they like each other and like fucking each other, then hang fire on actually loving one another, grow bored, cheat, and divorce. This is a great foolishness of our age. No, you need love, and that's not about special feewings.
Autismo, you passed the harrowing of dating. You suffered through flirtation, flowers, and all that confusing, awful shit. Now it's your turn to shine, because the way forward is as simple as following instrucitons. JJ, tie your buckle.
Judgement-- Make good decisions. This is easy for you, O neurodivergent one. You, unlike Chad, enjoy collecting, collating, and examining data in order to make sound choices. You will have to start doing with things besides Victoria 2, but the good news is map-staring videogames actually are good practice for planning and judgement.
Justice-- This may not seem as obvious as it is for the Second Lieutenant, since you (hopefully) only have one lady to worry about. But not only do you need to treat her fairly; you need to treat everyone she cares about fairly. She has a family, probably. Treat them right as you do her.
Dependability-- She can count on you never to paint Sonic's arms blue. Can she count on you to keep your job, wash the dishes, and spell the alphabet on her clit? Fulfill your obligations, always. Not taking on too many obligations sends us back to judgement.
Integrity-- Don't fucking lie to her. You're a terrible liar, anyway. You're not going to cheat on this list and succeed, and probably can't get away with cheating on your wife. This is a hard list of actions, not feelings you need to pretend to have.
Decisiveness-- keyword DBAP. You know when you're playing as Sweden, and the time comes for you to throw in your lot with either the Protestants or the Catholics, but you hesitate too long and the League War starts without you? Of course you don't. You DO know the value of making timely decisions. This isn't just applicable to big decisions, either. I see dysfunctional couples take the "what do you want for supper" game so far that they end up pissed off and hungry. If she can't decide between Chinese and Mexican, pick one. She will love you all the more.
Tact-- the autist's worst failing aside from hygiene. On the plus side, she's not a stranger. By trial and error with careful notes, you should be able to figure out how to avoid eirher offending her by being overly pushy, or to make her sneer by being too diffident. It's just one woman. You can be tactful with ONE woman who lives in your house, can't you? Please try.
Initiative-- toujours de l'audace. Don't just life happen to you. Find a hole and run through it, you idiot. Again, while some women might prefer this, I'm not necessarily saying you should pick a direction and tell her to follow. I'm saying you should be full of ideas to share. Be willing to take calculated risks. If you've been doing the rest of this list, she will trust you when you say, "Honey, let's start an Alpaca Ranch."
Endurance-- "Never give up; never surrender." --Mathesar. Don't quit your job without a better job to replace it. Finish your degree. Don't nope out of the party she's enjoying so much. Not only will she respect you for it, vut she will enjoy the fruits of your diligent labors.
Bearing-- again, DBAP. Yeah, shit's hard. You're the man. You're the shoulder to cry on, the shelter from storms. That's really not her job. Unless your Mom is dying or they're remaking The Dark Knight, you should stand firm. This also means you need to mind your tenper tantrums. Basically, keep that blunted affect going. It looks like stoicism.
Unselfishness-- it's not all about you. Or, more accurately, you are more than just your own self, now. If you have chosen wisely, your wife will not abuse your generosity. This isn't just about money, either. Time, energy, and attention are all resources that you should never stint on her.
Courage-- dysfunctional couples like to say nauseating shit like "I would walk through fire for her." In currentyear America, unless you live in the hood, you aren't often called upon to display physical courage. Moral courage, which is honestly the same thing witha different fear source, is much lacking. Courage not to take shit from your boss, courage to be honest with your wife, courage to not take shit from your wife. Oh and don't let people pick on her, either.
Knowledge-- not Red Dwarf trivia. Know yourself. Know yourenemy wife. Know how to handle business, be it jumping the car when she leaves the headlights on, being good at your job, or knowing what that "clitoris" thing I mentioned earlier is. Knowledge both inwards and outwards, of technical, practical, and personal matters, counts. And remember her birthday.
Loyalty-- obviously enough, don't get caught cheating. Consider not even cheating at all. But it's more than that. You and your waifu are a team. You are ALWAYS supposed to take her side. I don't mean lie to her and say you agree when she's being unreasonable (there are actual documented instances of women being irrational,) but you have to reach back to Tact and help her see that, while you don't agree, it's not because you are on the side of that cunt from her office.
Enthusiasm-- be involved in life. Give a shit. Ennui does not inspire devotion. It's true that nothing matters, but it follows that it doesn't matter if you treat your wife and your life like they matter.
This concludes my period of instruction on making gf love you for real, and not just use you up and dispose of you. If it doesn't work, it's your fault for picking a cunt for a gf. Thank you all, and to all a good night.
Well, I wanted to say that I do have good news. Getting a girl to want to touch your peepee may be all about subtle laughs and winks and sighs that autism can't handle well, but once you have her on the hook, making her love you is a simple matter of hard work and attention to duty. I can't tell you how to engender lust, but I CAN tell you how to grow the garden of love. Matter of fact, they make you take classes on the subject in boot camp.
If you've been raised on a steady diet of romcoms, this may sound very silly. If you think I'm making jokes, you really should read on. If not, read on anyway, because I like attention.
First of all, let's talk about the "unconditional love" damaged people mistakenly seek in a romantic partner. It doesn't exist. Or, if you're a fan of the Bible, it DOES exist, but humans are not capable of it.
The closest thing in the human world to unconditional love is that of a Mother for her children. There are unnatural mothers, but for the most part, your Mama loves you no matter what, seriously. It's one of the differences between men and women-- the latter can experience motherly love from both sides. Dads get gyped.
Fatherly love is more conditional than Motherly, but a lot of Fathers are there from the time their kids are born, so they develop a slight reflection of motherly love. The military model of leadership is usually expressed as fatherhood, because it is, when correctly done, non-sexual. Love is love, as people talking about butt sex often say. Military leadership is a trick to use love to get men to kill each other.
If you're uncomfortable with the idea of a husband being his wife's leader, get over it. It is necessarily so. I say "leader," not "ruler." Some women do want a ruler, and while I can't see the advantage in a slave for a wife, one must allow for variations. However, no matter how egalitarian your relationship, one person must at least lead as one leads a dance, else comes stasis and failure. Women, generally speaking, prefer to follow their man's lead. If you're a woman who wants to lead her husband, I guess this is for you as well.
So, to the point of the matter. You've got yourself a nice GF who eats hot dogs and wears T-shirts with you into a loving wife? I see a lot of guys who never take this step, and suppose that love is either a fruity feeling or something that flows out of getting a certificate from the court house. They narry their girlfriend because they like each other and like fucking each other, then hang fire on actually loving one another, grow bored, cheat, and divorce. This is a great foolishness of our age. No, you need love, and that's not about special feewings.
Autismo, you passed the harrowing of dating. You suffered through flirtation, flowers, and all that confusing, awful shit. Now it's your turn to shine, because the way forward is as simple as following instrucitons. JJ, tie your buckle.
Judgement-- Make good decisions. This is easy for you, O neurodivergent one. You, unlike Chad, enjoy collecting, collating, and examining data in order to make sound choices. You will have to start doing with things besides Victoria 2, but the good news is map-staring videogames actually are good practice for planning and judgement.
Justice-- This may not seem as obvious as it is for the Second Lieutenant, since you (hopefully) only have one lady to worry about. But not only do you need to treat her fairly; you need to treat everyone she cares about fairly. She has a family, probably. Treat them right as you do her.
Dependability-- She can count on you never to paint Sonic's arms blue. Can she count on you to keep your job, wash the dishes, and spell the alphabet on her clit? Fulfill your obligations, always. Not taking on too many obligations sends us back to judgement.
Integrity-- Don't fucking lie to her. You're a terrible liar, anyway. You're not going to cheat on this list and succeed, and probably can't get away with cheating on your wife. This is a hard list of actions, not feelings you need to pretend to have.
Decisiveness-- keyword DBAP. You know when you're playing as Sweden, and the time comes for you to throw in your lot with either the Protestants or the Catholics, but you hesitate too long and the League War starts without you? Of course you don't. You DO know the value of making timely decisions. This isn't just applicable to big decisions, either. I see dysfunctional couples take the "what do you want for supper" game so far that they end up pissed off and hungry. If she can't decide between Chinese and Mexican, pick one. She will love you all the more.
Tact-- the autist's worst failing aside from hygiene. On the plus side, she's not a stranger. By trial and error with careful notes, you should be able to figure out how to avoid eirher offending her by being overly pushy, or to make her sneer by being too diffident. It's just one woman. You can be tactful with ONE woman who lives in your house, can't you? Please try.
Initiative-- toujours de l'audace. Don't just life happen to you. Find a hole and run through it, you idiot. Again, while some women might prefer this, I'm not necessarily saying you should pick a direction and tell her to follow. I'm saying you should be full of ideas to share. Be willing to take calculated risks. If you've been doing the rest of this list, she will trust you when you say, "Honey, let's start an Alpaca Ranch."
Endurance-- "Never give up; never surrender." --Mathesar. Don't quit your job without a better job to replace it. Finish your degree. Don't nope out of the party she's enjoying so much. Not only will she respect you for it, vut she will enjoy the fruits of your diligent labors.
Bearing-- again, DBAP. Yeah, shit's hard. You're the man. You're the shoulder to cry on, the shelter from storms. That's really not her job. Unless your Mom is dying or they're remaking The Dark Knight, you should stand firm. This also means you need to mind your tenper tantrums. Basically, keep that blunted affect going. It looks like stoicism.
Unselfishness-- it's not all about you. Or, more accurately, you are more than just your own self, now. If you have chosen wisely, your wife will not abuse your generosity. This isn't just about money, either. Time, energy, and attention are all resources that you should never stint on her.
Courage-- dysfunctional couples like to say nauseating shit like "I would walk through fire for her." In currentyear America, unless you live in the hood, you aren't often called upon to display physical courage. Moral courage, which is honestly the same thing witha different fear source, is much lacking. Courage not to take shit from your boss, courage to be honest with your wife, courage to not take shit from your wife. Oh and don't let people pick on her, either.
Knowledge-- not Red Dwarf trivia. Know yourself. Know your
Loyalty-- obviously enough, don't get caught cheating. Consider not even cheating at all. But it's more than that. You and your waifu are a team. You are ALWAYS supposed to take her side. I don't mean lie to her and say you agree when she's being unreasonable (there are actual documented instances of women being irrational,) but you have to reach back to Tact and help her see that, while you don't agree, it's not because you are on the side of that cunt from her office.
Enthusiasm-- be involved in life. Give a shit. Ennui does not inspire devotion. It's true that nothing matters, but it follows that it doesn't matter if you treat your wife and your life like they matter.
This concludes my period of instruction on making gf love you for real, and not just use you up and dispose of you. If it doesn't work, it's your fault for picking a cunt for a gf. Thank you all, and to all a good night.
