حلال Connor Bible - Everyone's Favorite Molly Ringwald loving, adoption hating, aspiring writer and bellybutton fucker

[FramerGirl420]

>already died
>Yes, I'm still alive.

 

[Pine Tar]

Connor came in and revealed that he's a Nazi-sympathizing edgelord.

 

[Overcast]

Honestly, that bit about how he had to compare himself to Harriet Tubman doesn't sound all that hard.

You simply have to take the facts about the person in question, look at yourself honestly, and go from there.

Then again, that would involve having a sense of self awareness and humility. Things a lot of, if not most lolcows don't seem to have.

 

[Molly Ringwald]

Connor came in and revealed that he's a Nazi-sympathizing edgelord.

On the bright side Nazis committed one very good deed. They got Hitler to kill himself.

 

[Meowthkip]

View attachment 14557

 

[Smutley]

Part 11 of Wrong Planet!

Spoiler: Soundtrack to this post

Haha, this is Connor's entire post in the thread he started. I really wish all his other threads were this brief.

Spoiler

BellyButton Fucking: The New Hotness

Spoiler

Connor has known about Chris since at least 2011. Honestly, I didn't even know he followed lolcows. (Full 3-page pity party thread)

Spoiler

bumbumbumbumbum, CONNOR!

Spoiler

This is... this is just fabulous. "Imagine if the Nostalgia Critic spent a year of his life locked in a room, forced to go on only one website... TVTropes"

Spoiler

Being an autistic robot atheist nihilist existentialist cynic is lonely

Spoiler

We're going to leave this off with a doozy of a post concerning our own @Molly Ringwald. I would advise her to consider not opening this spoiler, because the things that Connor says are rather disturbing. With instances like this obsession and coming out as a nazi sympathizer in chat, it's probably for the best he's left the forum forever.

Spoiler

 

[Ironside]

Connor tried to kill himself because he found out he's nearsighted.

I just.

 

[Kabobs]

Dear god. What is up with this kid? I think he's beyond help, Molly Ringwald's involvement or not. Just way too high-maintenance.

 

[Meowthkip]

As somebody who has an interest in existentialism and dadaism, I find it really annoying how Connor constantly uses it to confirm his bleak outlook on the world.

For me it's kind of comforting. There's no real, set purpose in life, so you're free to live your life as you wish, and make your own meaning. Might as well enjoy yourself before you die.

 

[Silver]

Guys guys wait a sec

I'm gonna sound autistic as all hell for this shit but

From the chat file:
"Connor 11 minutes ago Connor: @ Zvantastika, we apparently have the true and honest Molly Ringwald here. Fun doubled."

"Fun doubled" is not a phrase I've heard before... except

 

[caffeinated_wench]

While I understand what depression does to a person, seeing as I have it myself, I also can't help but feel annoyed at him asking for help from these people and then shutting them down with his "pity me" routine (probably because it's not the first time).

 

[Cosmos]

Heeeey, @Connor, you like applying tropes to your life, right? So this should be easy for you to understand, being written in your native tongue and all:

Silly Rabbit, Cynicism is for Losers!



Read that second paragraph closely. Sound familiar, Connie?

Okay, real talk, overly cynical people who trot around acting like they've discovered the true meaning of the universe by being unnecessarily negative and bitter, all the while looking down on people who are idealistic and hopeful, REALLY piss me off. There is absolutely nothing wrong with being optimistic and idealistic. There's nothing wrong with believing in good and having hope for the world and everyone in it. If everyone was a cynical asshole the world would be a nightmarish place because nobody would have the initiative to improve it. I'm an optimist at heart (but I'm also a realist) and it's an ideology that makes me a generally happy, content person. Seeing people like Connor who choose to wallow in cynicism just makes me sad and confused.

Oh, and Connor, Stephen Colbert said it best:

"Remember, you cannot be both young and wise. Young people who pretend to be wise to the ways of the world are mostly just cynics. Cynicism masquerades as wisdom, but it is the farthest thing from it. Because cynics don’t learn anything. Because cynicism is a self-imposed blindness, a rejection of the world because we are afraid it will hurt us or disappoint us. Cynics always say no. But saying “yes” begins things. Saying “yes” is how things grow. Saying “yes” leads to knowledge. “Yes” is for young people. So for as long as you have the strength to, say “yes'.”

 

[Cosmos]

Some quotes about hope and idealism to counterbalance Connor the Edgelord (comparing a Veteran's Day assembly to a Hitler Youth rally? Fucking seriously???):

Spoiler: Hope springs eternal

• "If someone tells me it's wrong to hope, I'll tell them they're wrong every time. I would say that over and over, as many times necessary." ― Madoka Kaname (Puella Magi Madoka Magica)
• "We must accept finite disappointment, but never lose infinite hope." ― Martin Luther King, Jr.
• "Hope is being able to see that there is light despite all of the darkness." ― Desmond Tutu
• “Listen to the mustn'ts, child. Listen to the don'ts. Listen to the shouldn'ts, the impossibles, the won'ts. Listen to the never haves, then listen close to me... Anything can happen, child. Anything can be.”― Shel Silverstein
• “You may say I'm a dreamer, but I'm not the only one. I hope someday you'll join us. And the world will live as one.” ― John Lennon
• “I believe that imagination is stronger than knowledge. That myth is more potent than history. That dreams are more powerful than facts. That hope always triumphs over experience. That laughter is the only cure for grief. And I believe that love is stronger than death.” ― Robert Fulghum
• “It's really a wonder that I haven't dropped all my ideals, because they seem so absurd and impossible to carry out. Yet I keep them, because in spite of everything, I still believe that people are really good at heart.” ― Anne Frank
• “Only in the darkness can you see the stars.” ― Martin Luther King Jr.
• “Hope is the thing with feathers/ That perches in the soul/ And sings the tune without the words/ And never stops at all.” ― Emily Dickinson
• “If you're reading this... Congratulations, you're alive. If that's not something to smile about, then I don't know what is.” ― Chad Sugg
• “There is some good in this world, and it's worth fighting for.” ― J.R.R. Tolkien
• “Hope/ Smiles from the threshold of the year to come/ Whispering 'it will be happier...'” ― Alfred Tennyson
• “It's amazing how a little tomorrow can make up for a whole lot of yesterday.” ― John Guare
• "In a time of destruction, create something." ― Maxine Hong Kingston
• "Hope is a waking dream." ― Aristotle
• “This is where it all begins. Everything starts here, today.” ― David Nicholls
• "What gives me the most hope every day is God's grace; knowing that his grace is going to give me the strength for whatever I face, knowing that nothing is a surprise to God." ― Rick Warren
• “Tears shed for another person are not a sign of weakness. They are a sign of a pure heart.” ― José N. Harris
• "Let your hopes, not your hurts, shape your future." ― Robert H. Schuller
• "Everything that is done in the world is done by hope." ― Martin Luther
• "I find hope in the darkest of days, and focus in the brightest. I do not judge the universe." ― Dalai Lama
• "Hope is like the sun, which, as we journey toward it, casts the shadow of our burden behind us." ― Samuel Smiles

 

[Springer]

He wants to be miserable, or he wants to be fixed by someone else. He does not want to make the effort for self improvement because this is hard.
It is easy to ride in rut, but harder to beat a new path.(although he does like beating...)

I can only shake my Head now reading the advice. It is clear he wants his misery so he can wallow in it. It is just pathetic for him to choose miserable and then go on that forum and try and justify/inflict it to the others there. He wants to be bowed under the burden of self worthless he chose for himself, fine he can carry it. Trying to foist a handful of it onto others is wrong when it is a conscious choice he's made.
Being too far gone for help is not the position Connor seems to be in, instead he willfully tosses it away. Very sad.
More people deserves help but get Nothing, Connor gets much and treats it worthless.


Frankly if I was other members of the Forum WP I'd be asking for his ban. Not only because of his rude outbursts of swearing at other members, but because he is so totally selfish, giving nothing to others but demanding so often. Perhaps that is normal there, for people to need support, but combined with his rudeness it would seem to warrant being ignored by all at the very least.

"Man cannot remake himself without suffering, for he is both the marble and the sculptor"
-Alexis Carrell

 

[NobleGreyHorse]

Nearsighted.

Okay. Power level revealed. I'm nearsighted. I have Severe Complex PTSD from a hideous wreck I was in; permanent spinal damage from same, which is irreversible, and in the opinion of three different doctors, inoperable; fibromyalgia, which can best be described as random bouts of bizarre pain and fatigue for no reason (plus other symptoms), although it does seem somewhat tied in to the barometer (so this weather whiplash we've been having all month has just been oodles of fun); wimminz trubbles; allergic asthma, which can be triggered by something as simple as a cigarette upwind of me... I guess according to Connor, I should commit five or six suicides? Sequentially or all at once, do you think?

Wait, but Eva has "bifocals" at less than half my age, so when I get my pair next year, I will become cool but too troubled to realize I have walked into a scene stolen line by line from Silence of the Lambs. And yet bothered by my drunken Irish father's use of the "F-word." Maybe I'll get bee-stung lips out of it, though. Really existential ones.

Fucking lolcows. And gorillas.

 

[Sonic Hoo]

This is Molly Ringwald, my other face.

She exists in three stages, sister, lover, and mother.

I just realized how similar his image of Molly Ringwald is to Crystal Weston Chandler. The only difference is that Crystal is Chris's daughter while Molly is Connor's mother.

 

[Molly Ringwald]

I just realized how similar his image of Molly Ringwald is to Crystal Weston Chandler. The only difference is that Crystal is Chris's daughter while Molly is Connor's mother.

So I'm basically Rei Ayanami? The only difference being that both Shinji and Rei were initially unaware of Yui's presence within Rei (and by extension, the fact that they are only related by Yui's DNA being used to make Rei, and the fact that the amount of Yui's DNA within Rei is very dubious because physically she is like Kaworu).

 

[Ronald Gaygun]

@Molly Ringwald Can you believe how Connor treated you in Teamspeak earlier?

 

[KingofManga420]

Wow what the fuck did I miss?

 

[Molly Ringwald]

@Molly Ringwald Can you believe how Connor treated you in Teamspeak earlier?

I am completely unaware of what happened. I would love to be informed because I am very busy right now.