What a story this guy has had. Doing psychedelics can "awaken" certain mental illnesses in people that are predisposed to it, they're definitely not for everyone.
i wouldn't say "awaken" as much as i'd say aggrivate. without a shaman or someone that can guide your psyche in such a vulnerable state, you're likely to come to some conclusions that are completely irrational all the way to down right insane.
Enlightenment is often allegorized the the rising of the sun. Aptly, shining a light on an otherwise dark room. This is accurate and helpful for wayward son of man.
The tragic reality is that, if stare long enough into the sun, you become blind. Ergo, enlightenment can be blinding.
The only difference between genius and madness is personal hygiene.
Im not an incel, but I do like to read what are good ole incels are talking about on incels.is
They love to use Connor as an example of the perfect "Chad" stereotype. That was before his balding and subsequent psychotic break.
I feel bad for Connor. If you go to the psychosis subreddit and search for "DMT" many of the stories are of people who took DMT and developed schizophrenia and never recovered. Terrifying.
I remember becoming aware of this man back in 2017 after watching h3h3 video, one of the last ones I watched by the jew gang.
I thought he was being cringe for attention and clicks, building his channel on black PR. Turns out he is actually insane. There is something in his eyes, they look like glass, like there is nothing behind them, a complete blank, staring into nothingness.
How fascinating. This is the fifth person i've seen both offline and online schizoposting like this and the thought style is always the same. I'd love to see some studies about what makes this third eye/chakra line of thinking so popular.
This is part of why I'm not sure it isn't all kayfabe.
I've only listened to about 30 minutes of his ranting, so I could be missing something, but it all sounds like pretty standard solipsistic boltzmann type philosophy stuff. Like I can't really argue with what he's fundamentally saying despite him presenting it in his gayest possible Manson impression with dumbass American christian characteristics.
And I've watched enough autistic streamers getting the cops called on them that when he says shit like "this is all fake and I called the cops to get them in on the skit too", there's a possible literal interpretation: cops know streamers are retarded and have retarded fans so they appreciate being informed about bullshit they can ignore.
Audio-only stuff that's supposedly his calls is the easiest thing in the world to fake if it is a "prank". It's lame but then it kinda becomes funny again if he has an audience convinced he's too crazy to be capable of something so pedestrian.
Again though I'm not really invested so maybe there's other stuff I haven't seen that rules this out. There's plenty to laugh at either way.
I've seen some youtubers who are into psychedelics say shit like: I'm not saying this to bash psychedelics...
Well I am. Unless you literally explored every other option, don't do it. I hate how normalized some drugs are- in movies, hearsays, other media. I still think it shouldn't be illegal because you shouldn't go to jail for fucking up your life but I went from "oh people should do whatever they want as long as they don't harm anyone, teehee" to feeling absolute disgust when I hear psychonauts or weed users talk. Sure, many of them don't slip into insanity, but they still say dumb woohoo shit. Many of them can't go without mentioning how much they do their drug of choice, how amazing it actually is but the evil government...
I fucking hate it. Even taking something once, no matter whether you did so willingly or you were drugged by someone, can fuck with your brain and trigger panic disorder, psychosis, depression. Bonus bitter points if you were drugged against your will and then you have to suffer from having panic attacks every moment without medication because someone just "wanted to give you a good time". And even if you don't experience immediate issues, it will change you in the long run.
"You don't get it, maaaaan. The weed is making me, like, so creative and chiiill. It's such a myth that stoners are lazy too, I had the most interesting conversation the other day with a friend and I even wrote a poem." he said as he scratched his bloated gut dressed in sweat covered hoodie that smelled sour, surrounded by mess and overly expensive receipts from takeouts.
Drugs suck, they're risky and unless you have a terminal illness I'll always think less of you. Give me the hats.
Kill all dope-peddlers. Kill the junkie scourge and their braindamned minions. Kill your local drug dealer.
And I say this as a rookie moonshiner. kill your local drug dealer. Butcher then shamans and massacre the street doctors.
To quote Hunter S. Thompson:
“All those pathetically eager acid freaks who thought they could buy Peace and Understanding for three bucks a hit. But their loss and failure is ours, too. What Leary took down with him was the central illusion of a whole life-style that he helped to create... a generation of permanent cripples, failed seekers, who never understood the essential old-mystic fallacy of the Acid Culture: the desperate assumption that somebody - or at least some force - is tending that Light at the end of the tunnel.”
“All those pathetically eager acid freaks who thought they could buy Peace and Understanding for three bucks a hit. But their loss and failure is ours, too. What Leary took down with him was the central illusion of a whole life-style that he helped to create... a generation of permanent cripples, failed seekers, who never understood the essential old-mystic fallacy of the Acid Culture: the desperate assumption that somebody - or at least some force - is tending that Light at the end of the tunnel.”
That is a great quote. Acid has been around for long enough that if there was some revolutionary enlightenment found in it then we would have done so by now. People like Leary and McKenna opened a box full of craziness that neither they nor anyone else was prepared to handle. Some fascinating art has been created from experiences with psychedelics but that's about it, and that is by no means the only way to do it.
Part of the problem though is that due to the legal restrictions this hasn't been properly researched despite its widespread use. That looks like it's changing now, but I think a lot of harm could have been spared if long-term studies in controlled environments could have been initiated in the 60s and 70s already.
"You don't get it, maaaaan. The weed is making me, like, so creative and chiiill. It's such a myth that stoners are lazy too, I had the most interesting conversation the other day with a friend and I even wrote a poem." he said as he scratched his bloated gut dressed in sweat covered hoodie that smelled sour, surrounded by mess and overly expensive receipts from takeouts.
Hanging out with stoners is just like that video with Connor and his parents. They try to take the conversation into areas that are too deep (don't tell me to come over and play xbox then start asking me what I'm looking for in life) , they say some pseudo profound shit I could see on a bumper sticker then smirk at you like they just blew your mind, and they don't actually take in anything you say. I always have to bring hard liquor when hanging out with stoner buddies just so I don't want to blow my brains out after twenty minutes of "dude we actually are God."
To stay on topic I wouldn't say Connor's actually given himself schizophrenia. I know a few schizos and they're pretty normal guys. Once in a while they'll say something completely out of left field, but it's never wannabe self-help shit like Connor. I think he's just a jerkoff on a bender.
This part especially should be something those gurus take a note of. Personal believes are that, personal believes. But if you believe in enlightenment, isn't this approach insulting? Shouldn't you be able to get there with your mind? It's like obese people buying 5$ diet supplements, except it's lazy and unhappy somewhat spiritual people. Quick fixes and no real effort, but why are we surprised, everythings that way lately.
Hanging out with stoners is just like that video with Connor and his parents. They try to take the conversation into areas that are too deep (don't tell me to come over and play xbox then start asking me what I'm looking for in life) , they say some pseudo profound shit I could see on a bumper sticker then smirk at you like they just blew your mind, and they don't actually take in anything you say. I always have to bring hard liquor when hanging out with stoner buddies just so I don't want to blow my brains out after twenty minutes of "dude we actually are God."
To stay on topic I wouldn't say Connor's actually given himself schizophrenia. I know a few schizos and they're pretty normal guys. Once in a while they'll say something completely out of left field, but it's never wannabe self-help shit like Connor. I think he's just a jerkoff on a bender.
(Sorry for double posting, I'm on my phone and it's hard to edit)
I had similar experience. Maybe I'd be less harsh and listened if what they said was nuanced in any way. It's not. And it's really hard to do anything other than "hang out".
As for Connor, we'll see once he's clean. I know many schizophrenics are not into this woohoo, but that can be attributed to having different personalities. It makes sense to be more narcissistic as a youtuber who's also a bodybuilder. Still, no one can be diagnosed before detoxing and becoming stable first.
I went through the last month of his IG account and the videos he made. I’ll give him credit for one thing - I think he accurately recreated the chaos in his mind in those videos. For this reason alone it worth watching a few of them.
Some could be a fucking teaching tool to help people understand psychosis or what psychosis feels like in the mind of someone experiencing it. He even has this thing where he overlays two separate audio tracks of conversations that creates this wall of unintelligible voices. From everything I’ve read this is how some schizophrenics describe what the “voices” in their head sound like - constant, hard to discern, chaotic and only snippets can be understood or you have to try and discern the meaning.
The videos where he just rabbits on in a schizophrenic stream of consciousness world salad is insightful look at the chaos in his brain.
This is part of why I'm not sure it isn't all kayfabe.
I've only listened to about 30 minutes of his ranting, so I could be missing something, but it all sounds like pretty standard solipsistic boltzmann type philosophy stuff. Like I can't really argue with what he's fundamentally saying despite him presenting it in his gayest possible Manson impression with dumbass American christian characteristics.
And I've watched enough autistic streamers getting the cops called on them that when he says shit like "this is all fake and I called the cops to get them in on the skit too", there's a possible literal interpretation: cops know streamers are retarded and have retarded fans so they appreciate being informed about bullshit they can ignore.
Audio-only stuff that's supposedly his calls is the easiest thing in the world to fake if it is a "prank". It's lame but then it kinda becomes funny again if he has an audience convinced he's too crazy to be capable of something so pedestrian.
Again though I'm not really invested so maybe there's other stuff I haven't seen that rules this out. There's plenty to laugh at either way.
It’s not kayfabe. Nobody decides to drink cum, drink mystical crystal bowls of their piss, eat shit, declare themself Jesus and give out all their bank account details, passwords and social security number as PR stunt. His home was a disaster area of total chaos and disorganization with rotted food everywhere. Not in a gross neckbeard sloppy living way, but as Jane explained he would buy $200 worth of groceries, bring the bags in the apartment and then sit them down and never put them in the fridge or touch them. His bags of groceries would just rot on the floor in the bags untouched for days or weeks.
The guy is legitimately very mentally ill and experiencing long periods of psychosis and manic delusions.
His videos demonstrate a constant decline in his mental faculties and his video viewership has plummeted compared to his days as a YT prank bro. Anyone who doubts his mental instability should just watch the video with his extremely worried parents. If he can ever patch back together his psyche he will be utterly horrified to watch the videos he made in the last year.
Hanging out with stoners is just like that video with Connor and his parents. They try to take the conversation into areas that are too deep (don't tell me to come over and play xbox then start asking me what I'm looking for in life) , they say some pseudo profound shit I could see on a bumper sticker then smirk at you like they just blew your mind, and they don't actually take in anything you say. I always have to bring hard liquor when hanging out with stoner buddies just so I don't want to blow my brains out after twenty minutes of "dude we actually are God."
To stay on topic I wouldn't say Connor's actually given himself schizophrenia. I know a few schizos and they're pretty normal guys. Once in a while they'll say something completely out of left field, but it's never wannabe self-help shit like Connor. I think he's just a jerkoff on a bender.
If you know actual schizophrenics who “seem like normal guys” it’s because they have managed to find an effective medication regimen and they actually follow it. Kudos to them because managing schizophrenia is extremely difficult and maintaining normalcy, or even friendships, for extended periods is a real achievement.
OTOH “Schizo-effective disorders” are a fairly common Dx, but they are not schizophrenia. I’d say it’s more likely you’ve maybe met people with schizo-effective disorders that seem normal. Plenty of people with schizo-effective disorders lead normal lives with some meds or effective therapy. Or maybe you’ve met people who have lied about having schizophrenia.
I’ve know a few legitimate schizophrenics and none of them could be described as “normal guys” if you are around them more than just casually. They can achieve a somewhat normal existence with medication and dedication, but every schizo I’ve ever known was on SSI because it was so debilitating to consistent daily functioning - even with meds. The meds can work wonders for sanity but have some craptastic side effects that make life difficult.
PL, but on-topic
Two schizo I’ve know had graduate level degrees - they graduated right before or as they had their first severe psychotic breaks. Neither have ever been able to put their degrees to use due to the debilitating effects of schizophrenia or the drugs they have to take to regulate it.
They are extremely intelligent, but their ability to maintain daily/weekly functioning is too impaired for them to hold jobs in their fields.
One does work part-time. He’s basically the office gopher in a firm where if he had not gotten ill he would have been one of the firms top level engineers. He has a higher level degree than the boss/owner of the firm he works for.
Every single person who knew this friend before he got sick and then watched the disease take hold all agree it’s probably the most terrifying thing they’ve ever witnessed. It was obvious to us he had completely lost touch with reality but he could not see it. It took about ten years and a lot of heartbreak, forced hospitalizations, homelessness, arrests and all kinds of different drugs to finally get to the point that he found some meds that worked, he agreed to take them regularly and then he achieved a measure of stability in his life. His parents had to fight tooth and nail to get him to that point and it had such a profound effect on his youngest sibling that the sibling became a psychiatrist.
However, I don’t know if Conner is schizophrenic or not. His psychedelic use has clouded the issue too much to know. He may very well be severely bipolar. His constant manic episodes make me think is likely and I hope so for his sake. It’s easier to treat bi-polar disorder than schizophrenia. There are plenty of bi-polar people who lead normal, successful lives with proper meds. Lithium is like a miracle drug for lots of bipolar people.
Conner would have to be institutionalized for a few months, have all the DMT out of his system and have it stay out for months, to even try and assess what the underlying mental disorder is. Sadly, he might have permanently cracked his mind like an egg with DMT and it’s never going to be put back together again properly.
Did you read any other part of the thesis or just one sentence? Do gimmicks give away all their bank account details and SS# during streams? Attempt 40 days fasts? Let bags of food rot all over their home? Order thousands of dollars worth of merchandise they don’t even bother to open or remember ordering? Declare themselves god and Jesus with regularity? Regularly breakdown weeping? Have strangers and friends legitimately worried and begging them to get help? Get forcibly institutionalized twice in one year?
You don’t even have to judge this only on batshit videos or his self-reported behavior, but that’s rock solid evidence if you’re familiar with mental illness. There’s plenty of information from people who witnessed IRL his insanity. Almost everyone who has encountered him in the past year has said he’s very sick and needs serious psychiatric help.
I just can’t believe anyone could watch 30 mins of this guys recent content and think it’s a gimmick.
No I pretty much read just that one sentence and a part where you're citing as fact someone who would definitely be in on it if it were bullshit. You don't seem skeptical enough to be impartial.
I'm just saying I'm as suspicious as anyone should be with any cow this cartoonish (aside from troons obviously); I don't know either way. Nothing's impossible and giving away a bank account with nine thousand bucks in it (if that part's even true) ain't even out of the question for someone with old tube money. Losing subscribers is as much of a justification for a stunt as it is a break. Saying he's definitely as a matter of fact loony isn't possible. We don't need to convince ourselves to find it amusing or fascinating.
However, I don’t know if Conner is schizophrenic or not. His psychedelic use has clouded the issue too much to know. He may very well be severely bipolar. His constant manic episodes make me think is likely and I hope so for his sake. It’s easier to treat bi-polar disorder than schizophrenia. There are plenty of bi-polar people who lead normal, successful lives with proper meds. Lithium is like a miracle drug for lots of bipolar people.
Conner would have to be institutionalized for a few months, have all the DMT out of his system and have it stay out for months, to even try and assess what the underlying mental disorder is. Sadly, he might have permanently cracked his mind like an egg with DMT and it’s never going to be put back together again properly.
Connor is visibly tripping, talking about his grand plans for monetizing his guru youtube videos, he's got dopamine surging, bragging about how much ayahuasca he takes, tries to bring everything back to his woke takes. He may have altered his personality but his behavior isn't consistent with schizos I've known. He reminds me a lot more of the rich kid trippers who backpacked through India and came back with Heaven's Gate stares.
>PL
Let's not flex on whose friends are more insane.
No I pretty much read just that one sentence and a part where you're citing as fact someone who would definitely be in on it if it were bullshit. You don't seem skeptical enough to be impartial.
I'm just saying I'm as suspicious as anyone should be with any cow this cartoonish (aside from troons obviously); I don't know either way. Nothing's impossible and giving away a bank account with nine thousand bucks in it (if that part's even true) ain't even out of the question for someone with old tube money. Losing subscribers is as much of a justification for a stunt as it is a break. Saying he's definitely as a matter of fact loony isn't possible. We don't need to convince ourselves to find it amusing or fascinating.
There is footage of him giving his money away and he has multiple rl friends who confirmed Connor has no money remaining to their knowledge. Connor claims he has a "main bank account" that he never revealed the information of - but everyone is skeptical of that. He claimed to have invested in Dogecoin for years, which I personally believe. He said he made millions when it popped off and the universe told him to give it away to his followers. Assuming this is correct, it is possible he kept a nice portion of it aside. Or he could keep it in his crypto wallet and forget the password while locked up - there's no way to know until he gets out in a week or two
With regards to the cum, Nicolli said Connor approached him from the internet and maintains (to this day) that he did infact coom and Connor drank it. He even got into trouble with his family for this content, so he seems incentivized to debunk this story. Additionally, he had an hour long discussion with Tracy Kiss about the virtues of using cum and speaks about his previous uses for the seed. If he was making this up it would still be among the less insane/damaging things we have confirmed he has done. We also know from his own vids and his rl friends that our man has drank his own piss in public several times.
Imo it seems like a further stretch that Connor maintained this semen drinking as a long-running elaborate prank. You can even see the Youtube comments (along with the videos I mentioned) in the OP realizing he can't be faking it. Furthermore, I would find it impressive that he could maintain that level of commitment to a bit in this psychological state. At least one of his friends or family members would have come out and said, "Connor's crazy but he isn't cum drinking crazy. That's just the drugs talking." This hasn't happened. Unfortunately, most of these actions appear to be legitimate. His beliefs and his stated intentions may be less genuine, however, because he during his breakdowns he likes to refer to himself as an actor on the grand stage of life.
His mental breakdowns seem to be focused on Connor being God and doing something drastic (Suicide, giving away millions, getting "kidnapped", doing metric asstons of ayahausca) to prove to the world that he is god.
Even if they're for the better, if someone becomes a different person it makes sense they'd lose compatibility with some of their friends. Starting with anyone who'd make posts about how much they don't like drugs.
Also, you can get pretty weird when you first start exploring with psychedelics (including huge dabz). It's mind-opening, so you're receptive to all kinds of hippie shit--since you realise so much else is bullshit, why not reconsider stuff everyone dismisses? And that's a lot to process and dismiss (or not) rapid-fire. That phase can seem pretty crazy to people around you.
I'm happy to know that he is getting help and has been put away. I know we usually root for the worst of the worst for some Cows, but for this guy, I'm happy hes getting help, his videos make me feel uncomfortable with how obviously out of his mind he is.
