🐱 Conservative Christians Want To Replace Halloween With 'JesusWeen'

Conservative Christians Want To Replace Halloween With 'JesusWeen'—And Twitter Can't Stop Chuckling

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Evangelical Christian can't get enough of conservative Jesus—the judgy one—so they want to put him everywhere: on Starbucks cups, in schools and even in the 'ween.

Yes, you read that correctly.

Halloween, also known as All Hallow's Eve—the precursor to All Saints Day on November 1—is not hallowed enough for the likes of some Evangelical Christians.

Instead, they would prefer to transform the holiday into "JesusWeen."


Meanwhile, as advertisements started showing up on city buses and making their way across North America, people couldn't help but notice something a little too hilarious about the name "JesusWeen."

The specifically hilarious piece of the puzzle comes from the word "Ween."

Halloween means "Saints' evening" (Hallow + e'en). However, in arguing for JesusWeen, organizers have incorrectly interpreted "Ween" as one word.

"The dictionary meaning of Ween is to believe and think," wrote organizers.

"We therefore see October 31st as a day to expect a gift of salvation by receiving the Gospel of our lord Jesus."

However, Twitter is more struck by the Urban Dictionary definition of "Ween," which is slang for penis.

Another puzzling aspect of this story is that the word "Hallowe'en" is of Christian origin. The holiday was largely co-opted from folk customs and pagan rituals from around the British Isles.

The Gaelic festival of Samhain, the mark of the end of the warm and light season and the beginning of the cold and dark season, starts on October 31 as well.

The Celts believed Samhain was an opportunity for the veil between our world and the "Otherworld," the Celtic land of the dead and various entities, to blur. As such, Celts sought to appease angry spirits with "treats," aka food and drink.

With Christianity's introduction, All Hallows'—also called All Saints'—Day and All Hallows' Eve were made replacements while maintaining some of the original celebrations' traditions.

Still, Pastor Paul Ade, who is spearheading the movement, has not done the research or made the connections.

"I think it's an activity that doesn't have anything to do with Christians," he said to Gawker.

"Halloween is not consistent with the Christian faith. Many people say they feel uncomfortable on that day. We think people should choose an alternative activity."

And the alternate activity he's suggesting?

Celebrate JesusWeen.

Whatever that might mean to you.....or to Jesus.

 

[Cilleystring]

And yet it’s Seattle schools that bans Halloween. Is it just me or do they like to scapegoat their racist “anti-racist” policies by saying it’s achsually the “white Christians” that want this.

What they do is push their agenda forward by saying they "have to do this" to combat issues that were resolved decades ago. They take long gone (at least in terms of actual political power) groups like christian fundies, nazis, and slave owners and say these people are the enemy and we must do this to defeat them. Anyone with half a brain knows these issues are long defeated but they push it anyway.

Next thing you know they'll be telling us we need to prepare an army because Harold Hardrada is attacking from the north and William of Normandy is waiting across the english channel.

 

[potato fan]

Hardcore Christians want to replace everything with Jesus, how is that newsworthy?

 

[Terrorist]

What's wrong with All Saints Eve/Day? It's literally the same fucking day and the one after.

Very traditionally Christian, you'd have been punished for not attending on it years ago.



It has been banned here for as long as I remember in schools, public venues by the council's closest to me on the grounds that it offends "wider communities" a.k.a Islam. Nobody marks it here outside other than nightclub parties for adults, and even then I've heard people be criticised for going to them because it's American trash (it was fucking invented on the bong islands) or because it's racist.

It was banned in some schools in France too, but that was on the ground of total separation of faith and state and you could still mark it outside if you wished. Certainly a more an Anglo thing though.

That’s interesting, but a different phenomenon than what’s described in the article. The main problem there is the presence of Muslims - like you said, few historical Christians would bat an eye at celebrating these types of holidays.

The few Evangelicals that really do harp on Halloween do so as overcompensation, because their movements are very modern ones with few organic traditions of their own. They have to look like they have a “canon” where there really is none and the easiest way to do that is vocally prohibiting something. Denominations with history are far less likely to do this clownish nonsense.

 

[Marshal Mannerheim]

Celebrating All Souls' Day is one of the most Christian things you can do, but apparently making it a "Christian" (read: Southern Baptist) festival where everyone from Pastor Bob's Bible Church hands out Chick tracts to random people is better than, you know, praying for the souls of your relatives like the early Christians did.

 

[Screw Danlon]

Next thing you know they'll be telling us we need to prepare an army because Harold Hardrada is attacking from the north and William of Normandy is waiting across the english channel.

Knowing Britain, you guys would just ban monocles and imprison people for using the word “bastard” in a derogatory fashion.

 

[Male Idiot]

Why don't they ask Jesus what he thinks?

He'll answer any questions as long as they promise to send his legos and medallion into his cell.

 

[GarthVader]

This is almost as gay as handing out Jack Chick tracts instead of candy.

 

[OvercookedBacon]

I live in the Bible Belt. Absolutely no conservative Christians here want to make Halloween into Jesusween. They just find it fun to have the kids go trick-or-treating.

This is Dave Meltzer-level bullshit.

 

[Horton Hears A Whoreson]

Boys dressed as Roman legionnaires crucify their local neighborhood to street lamps for doling out insufficient amounts of candy. They have until three days to free themselves.

 

[Tasty Tatty]

How dare these entitled Christians to make everything about Jesus?! The nerve...

Also, picture unrelated:


Jokes aside, this is a very cope article. Like, we get it: they hate christians and everybody who isn't a radical commie. Leftists make very outrageous shit on a daily basis, and the amount of insanity is so high that Christians are allowed to do something minor and nobody should mind.

Either way, pre-covid times, my local Parish invited kids with religious costumes, but not to celebrate Halloween, but to do a small ceremony to appreciate Sainthood (Nov. 1 is "All Saint's Day"). It was cute seeing all those little angels in the middle of so many ghouls and demons around : )

Celebrating All Souls' Day is one of the most Christian things you can do, but apparently making it a "Christian" (read: Southern Baptist) festival where everyone from Pastor Bob's Bible Church hands out Chick tracts to random people is better than, you know, praying for the souls of your relatives like the early Christians did.

Nov. 1 is a Church day, actually. It's also a holiday, no school, no jobs, mostly because it's the day for most people to visit cemeteries.

 

[Sped Xing]

I miss the word filters.

Ask and you shall receive hashbrowns.

EDIT: Oh, I thought they were back. I'm a retard.

 

[Screw Danlon]

Why don't they ask Jesus what he thinks?

He'll answer any questions as long as they promise to send his legos and medallion into his cell.

I thought we were talking about Jesus Throwback, not NuJesus.

 

[Jet Fuel Johnny]

Holy shit, this article again?

I remember Oral Roberts and the other "I saw a 9,000 foot tall Jesus in Tulsa, Oklahoma, give me a million dollars" televengalists talking this kind of stupid shit.

There's always some fucked in the head group.

The fact they're yanking this tired old weird shit out shows they're trying to cover for getting rid of Halloween themselves.

Remember, anything the Left accuses their enemies of doing is something they're doing themselves.

 

[Blake Chortles]

Keep complaining. Shark week and Toyotathon can become Christian holy holidays before you know it.

 

[Mrs Paul]

Around here, we called the night before Halloween "Devil's Night" (Anyone else have this tradition), where everyone goes out and vandalizes the neighborhood (eggs, toilet paper, etc). I think we know whose houses are going to get to get TPed.

 

[Coleslaw]

What they do is push their agenda forward by saying they "have to do this" to combat issues that were resolved decades ago. They take long gone (at least in terms of actual political power) groups like christian fundies, nazis, and slave owners and say these people are the enemy and we must do this to defeat them. Anyone with half a brain knows these issues are long defeated but they push it anyway.

Next thing you know they'll be telling us we need to prepare an army because Harold Hardrada is attacking from the north and William of Normandy is waiting across the english channel.

What if William invaded first?

 

[Cilleystring]

What if William invaded first?

Who knows. Maybe Godwinson wins and all of history is different. Perhaps his descendents stamp out the sjw culture before it gains any traction

 

[SSj_Ness (Yiffed)]

Just a bullshit story to attack Christianity and paint conservatives as dumb.

 

[Coleslaw]

Who knows. Maybe Godwinson wins and all of history is different. Perhaps his descendents stamp out the sjw culture before it gains any traction

My dude, if either Harold Godwinson or the Norwegian King won, "warriors" would still be men.

 

[Linako 2.0]

Did we travel back in time to 2011?
Please tell me we have, I want to enjoy this preCorona bullshit one last time