Conspiracy Theories - Things you believe to be true that most others don't

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Chaos Theorist said:
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Learn to thumbnail your fucking content, you dunderheaded congoid.

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I truly believe that there is a mass-dissemination campaign to discredit any sort of privacy/anonymity app from being used. You will see people accusing Tor, Signal, Matrix, literally any app of being a honeypot with no other evidence than them going into political sperging about how the founder is left-wing/right-wing and how this means that they will go against anyone if LE asks them to.

I've started to see it rapidly in recent months on here, and any other space dedicated to that kind of thing. It's making me wonder where these myths of warrants for Signal or Tor to successfully release data are coming from, when a quick legal case viewer shows that most organizations either give feds nothing, basic log-in/log-out times, or the shiny Unix Timestamp of sign-up and last online that Signal is famous for giving.

It makes me feel like that the FBI and most other fed agencies are intentionally putting these kinds of posts up, knowing that activists and users of interest like KF, left and right wing activists, imageboard's considered to be "dangerous", and others will blindly accept disguised political sperging as an argument for sacrificing these apps.
 
Now as someone who has dabbled in many conspiracy theories and spent many years thinking about how much the world is built upon lies, I think there are certain conspiracy theories that stand above the rest. Those conspiracy theories that ignite the hearts with passion and alight the mind with possibilities, and most importantly make you feel unique and special as a somewhat crazy person. Now what I see as the most Based conspiracy theory is one that has the most amount of objective truth to it, while being disregarded just as strongly. So, the more truthful a theory is and the less you are able to say you believe in it without looking crazy, the higher in rank it goes.

Let's start from the worst conspiracy theories:
Flat Earth_0.jpg

FLAT EARTH: One of the worst conspiracy theories out there, it's the perfect conspiracy theory for sub 90 IQ neurotics. It's the one conspiracy theory I wish was actually true because that would be so much cooler, but unfortunately pretty early on in history most societies settled on a round earth as being true. The last time I met a flat earther was when I was in 7/11 and the cashier, who was a early-50s white man who could've been a veteran, took out a piece of paper and pencil and started trying to explain flat earth theory to me. To be fair I did like listening to him, but 7/11 isn't the most receptive establishment to get redpilled in.

In complete contrast to how bad of a conspiracy flat earth is...
5-geocentric-model-of-the-universe-mikkel-juul-jensenscience-photo-library.jpg

GEOCENTRISM: S-Tier Conspiracy Theory that I absolutely cherish. I purely have belief in the Sun going around the Earth and the Earth being unmoving out of theological reasons, as it was the consensus of the Christians, Jews, and Muslims over 1000s of years that the Sun went around the Earth. And just from a personal intuitive standpoint it lines up with basic human observation. We literally see the Sun move in front of our eyes everyday, and it certainly doesn't feel like the Earth is flying through the galaxy at millions of miles per hour. I recommend Robert Sungenis's documentary "The Principle" and his book "Galileo Was Wrong".

Some Conspiracy Theories that follow from Geocentrism...
spacefake.jpg

FAKE MOON LANDING: This is a classic conspiracy theory that seems quite quaint nowadays, I find it convincing that Humanity can't get past Low-Earth Orbit but then again when it comes to questions about the fundamental validity of science I have to let myself be humble. I think the biggest thing that goes against this theory is that white men are exceptional enough to be able to achieve that feat, which I am inclined to agree with. B+ Conspiracy in my opinion.
new-theory-unites-eins.jpg

QUANTUM PHYSICS/EINSTEIN THEORIES ARE ALL FAKE: From what I understand dabbling a bit in this space, the idea basically is that Einstein and other figures were ideologically motivated to explain certain physics phenomena in a way to discount the most obvious conclusion that is Geocentrism. E.g: Michelson-Morley Experiments. I am more hesitant to believe in these conspiracies fully as noted above, but intuitively I would say alot of it is plain garbage, which isn't that strong of an argument.
LI-21-Reasons-to-Believe-the-Earth-is-Young-JM2.jpg

YOUNG EARTH CREATIONISM: Apparently carbon dating is a scam, because the people who carbon date make flawed assumptions that lead them to calculate millions of years when that isn't warranted? I'm not sure how much there is to that, but I will say that when it comes to saying the universe is billions of years old versus 6,000 years old, I'm much more inclined to stand on the side of the Young Earthers. The only reason people say the universe is that old is so they can retrofit Darwinian Evolution and random mutations as a "probable" cause. Me personally, I believe 6,000 is too young for the Earth, as I can't take everything from the Bible as authentic. But is the Earth maybe 100,000 years old? I think that's more realistic.

I didn't feel like getting into other conspiracies like 9/11, the Jews, the Holocaust only because I want more qualified people to talk about their merits, this is just enough for me to get this thread started admittedly. I might work on this more later to be fair.
 
I can fully believe the moon landing was fake but I believe its real because I want it to be true
Pizzagate (before the gayops) is based because it was fun at the time and any conspiracy I believe in is automatically based and true
 
Australia's Prime Minister Harold Holt didn't drown at the beach in 1967 and posthumously have a pool named after him - he actually swam out to a secret Chinese submarine off the coast and is now a Chinese asset. It's not as believed as it used to be anymore, partly because its adherents have expired by now.
 
JFK killed himself

The first “shot” was a distraction, he looked around and grabbed a gun from his inner coat pocket. The second “shot”, JFK clutches his neck, feigning a wound, but wrapping some kind of snub nose under his chin. The third shot is real.

Motivation? He was tired of being president. So much responsibility. He just wanted to dick whores again but couldn’t. And he wanted to go out in a drama queen, demonstrative performance because he’s a diva.

But who fired the two distraction shots? I believe that actually was Oswald giving his friend his last wish. I think the higher ups would have pulled some strings and had him released, but Jack Ruby believed the lying media and decided to be a self-important jerk and show he liked JFK more than others.

Jack Ruby probably did die of a heart attack later. Texas cowboy hat, southern cooking, makes sense.
 
Flat earth is patently stupid as a conspiracy due to how easily disprovable it is. I do admit, when you get into the ridiculous "extra continents behind the ice wall" (especially the ones that add more ice walls beyond those with more continents), it's interesting as Conan the Barbarian-tier fantasy daydreaming; you could get some good sword-and-sandals pulp out of that conspiracy to this day.

Dagoth AMOGUS said:
JFK killed himself
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You used to get banned from /pol/ and /x/ for saying he did this because of advanced brain-rot syphilis, and only with that extra bit.

My contribution:

The grand unified conspiracy theory (everyone is in on it including everyone reading this or me writing it, and there is no exception), and that you are biologically and/or spiritually incapable of revealing what the "it" you are in on is, just that you know deep down, is probably the most based in the schizophrenic sense. I don't even remember where I first heard it, but I think about it often.

But as far as deep, dark rabbitholes that barely ever get touched: symbiosism. It's a theory of linguistics, but it has, you know, implications.
 
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Allow me to present to you the theory that I personally subscribe to: the Omphalos Hypothesis. It basically says that the Earth is actually a Young Earth, created ~6,000 years ago, but it was created as a mature, old Earth. Similar to how people don't picture Adam or Eve being created as babies, but rather as adults.
 
LaCreaturaDeLasAmerica said:
Allow me to present to you the theory that I personally subscribe to: the Omphalos Hypothesis. It basically says that the Earth is actually a Young Earth, created ~6,000 years ago, but it was created as a mature, old Earth. Similar to how people don't picture Adam or Eve being created as babies, but rather as adults.
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My theory is that Earth was created a couple weeks ago, sometime mid-November at the earliest. Also, every time you sleep, you die, and a new soul occupies your body when you awake.
 
Sun language theory, the idea that Turkish is the original human language. Its based purely for how it can be used to troll 100% of the human population.
If the anon you are fighting with is Turkish bring it up to remind them that they have always been narcissists who believe all of history revolves around them.
And if they aren't Turkish? Just pretend you are and be as obnoxiously retarded as possible just to annoy them.
Guaranteed win-win
 
Sneedenhagen Chew said:
Flat earth is patently stupid as a conspiracy due to how easily disprovable it is. I do admit, when you get into the ridiculous "extra continents behind the ice wall" (especially the ones that add more ice walls beyond those with more continents), it's interesting as Conan the Barbarian-tier fantasy daydreaming; you could get some good sword-and-sandals pulp out of that conspiracy to this day.


You used to get banned from /pol/ and /x/ for saying he did this because of advanced brain-rot syphilis, and only with that extra bit.

My contribution:

The grand unified conspiracy theory (everyone is in on it including everyone reading this or me writing it, and there is no exception), and that you are biologically and/or spiritually incapable of revealing what the "it" you are in on is, just that you know deep down, is probably the most based in the schizophrenic sense. I don't even remember where I first heard it, but I think about it often.

But as far as deep, dark rabbitholes that barely ever get touched: symbiosism. It's a theory of linguistics, but it has, you know, implications.
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Oh wow, that is almost as good as the "Killer Queen" theory - i.e. that Jackie ordered a hit on her husband/than did the final headshot, 'cause she was sick of JFK fucking whores. No, seriously, this was a real theory from the early 2000's internet:

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*best I could find was a screenshot of a pdf of the theory. Will edit my post & attach it when I find it.
 
And now add to the list, the various conspiracies theories about that tragedy at Reagan airport.

Conspiracy theorists are pushing unsubstantiated claims that an Army Black Hawk helicopter's deadly collision with a passenger jet was deliberate.
American Airlines Flight 5342 was approaching Washington's Reagan National Airport at around 9pm on Wednesday when the military chopper and plane collided in mid-air, before falling into the Potomac River.
The plane held four crew members and 60 passengers, while the helicopter was carrying three soldiers on a 'training flight'.
Officials have not said how many are dead but 28 bodies have been recovered so far. Authorities believe there may be no survivors.
The Army and Defense Department has launched an investigation into the crash as many questions regarding how a plane with modern collision-avoidance technology and nearby traffic controllers could collide with a military aircraft over the nation's capital.
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I used to believe the conspiracy that conspiracy theorists were idiots with watering cans for hats, yet i have come to the conclusion that most are actually intelligent people who like to think critically.
 
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