Cookbook / Recipe Sharing thread

Do you cook much?

  • Never

    Votes: 8 1.3%
  • Rarely

    Votes: 51 8.4%
  • Sometimes

    Votes: 164 26.9%
  • Often

    Votes: 337 55.3%
  • ...Do hotpockets count?

    Votes: 49 8.0%

  • Total voters
    609
Alright guys and gals, I'm going to tell you about motherfucking beef tri-tip.
Is ribeye better? Yes. Is chuck cheaper? Yes. Can either of them come close to tri tip's quality-per-dollar ratio? Fuck no!
It is a tricky cut though, and it will be a horrendous pile of shit if you don't prepare it correctly so you'd better fucking listen up.
Buy it at least 24 hours before serving. It should weigh in the neighborhood of 3 pounds and look like this.
700376

Trim all the fat and silverskin that the butcher left on, and then hit it with 1-2 tablespoons kosher salt. It is important to do this at least 7 hours in advance, osmosis is going to draw moisture out the meat, and almost all of it will be reabsorbed, however, the globular proteins that came along for the ride will be brought near the surface of the meat and stay there, which will allow us to get a bitchin sear when we apply high heat later on. Put it in a perforated ziplock bag and then the bag in a large bowl in the bottom of the fridge; the meat will get good air circulation and you'll avoid cross contamination.
Next, seasoning. If you want to go traditional here, garlic powder and black pepper do just fine. I have my own rub I'll share with you though. In order of most to least, white sugar, coffee grounds, cocoa powder, black pepper, garlic powder, chipotle powder. It seems a little weird but you're going to have to trust me on this, the combination of beef, smoke, and all the seasonings really come together in a way you might not expect. Mix it all together and apply whenever the fuck you feel like it. Keep in mind though, we are gong to be cooking this whole thing whole, there is much less surface area/lb of meat than with a steak so make sure and be very generous!
Next, heat. I always use charcoal, so build a two-zone setup with all your coals shoved off to one side, and let it heat up. Meanwhile, make a little tray out of aluminum foil big enough for a handful of woodchips, and fill it up (the kind you use doesn't matter unless it's a 6+ hour cook so use whatever foodsafe variety you want). Once it's fully started, put your tray of wood chips on top of the hot coals, and put the grate on, and the meat on the side opposite the coals, and cover. [If you're a faggot person who prefers a gas grill, just fire up half of the burners. (If you're a really tremendous faggot don't or can't own a grill, I guess you could add some liquid smoke to the meat after the salt, bake it at 215, and then use the broiler to sear it)]. You have a meat thermometer, right? After ~45 minutes you should be around 120 F and ready for the next step, but be vigilant. When you're about 10-15 degrees away from your desired final temp (if you cook this above medium I will personally gouge out your eyes and skullfuck you), take off the lid, and give it about 5 minutes on each side directly over the hot coals. You should now have a bitchin sear.
You're at the home stretch but there is still one last way you can royally fuck this up. You have to slice tri tip against the grain! here's how.
First, cut thru the center like this:
700369

Next, slice the halves as thin as possible like this:
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That's it. Serve it with some garlic bread so you can have sandwiches and it'll look like this:
700374


If you can follow directions, it will almost certainly be better than any steak you've had at a restaurant and don't you fucking dare put any bbq/steak sauce on it. Let me know if you end up making it!
 
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Creamy legume soup (makes 5 servings of 375ml)

In 1 litre of boiling water, add:
290 ml each of chickpeas and fava beans (a little over half a can from walmart)
100g cauliflower
2 tbsp chilli powder
1/4 tsp cayenne pepper

Reduce to medium heat and cook until the cauliflower is getting soft, then add a cup of canned coconut milk. NOT carton ffs, it's nowhere near as rich/thick. I recommend getting a can from the international/ethnic section of your grocery store.

While all that is going down, cut a small container of mushrooms (227g) into small pieces or pulse once or twice in a food processor. Pan fry those bad boys on medium heat with 1 tbsp of olive oil and some thyme until they've released their own oils and seem cooked.

Put half the solid ingredients and a cup of the broth from the pot into a food processor with:
1 tbsp nutritional yeast
2 cloves garlic

Add it back to the soup and repeat with whatever solid ingredients are left. Then add the mushrooms and you're done. Garnish that shit if you want.
 
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I recently found a recipe for curried chickpeas that I really like.

742340


Shit You'll Need:
  • 2 Tbsp olive oil
  • 1 med yellow onion
  • 2-4 cloves garlic (depending on personal preference)
  • 2 15 oz can chickpeas, drained
  • 3 roma tomatoes
  • 1 cup water
  • 1 Tbsp curry powder
  • 1/2 bunch fresh cilantro (optional)

1. Dice the onion tomatoes, and garlic. Cook the onion and garlic in a large pot with olive oil over medium heat until softened (3-5 minutes).

2. Drain the canned chick peas and add to the pot. Also add the tomatoes, water and curry powder. Stir the pot until everything is evenly mixed. Bring the mixture up to a simmer over medium heat.

3. While the chick peas are simmering, rinse the cilantro and pull the leaves from the stems. Roughly chop the leaves and add them to the pot. Give everything a stir and continue to simmer until the sauce has reduced to a thick consistency (about 20 minutes total). Stir the pot every few minutes to prevent the sauce from burning and sticking to the bottom.
 
Online Reputation Destruction Casserole

You'll need:
1 handle of vodka (Popov or Aristocrat)
30 20mg Adderall
1 Twitter account
1 Facebook account
1-2 absent parents
No gf

Make sure parents are absent.
Open Facebook. Simmer unresolved HS resentments at 420 until paying for college.
Combine alcohol, pills & No gf. Stir 360˚ and walk away.
 
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I've been fucking around with pasta amatriciana for a long time and have nailed down quantities/method to the point where I don't think I would change anything. Apologies for autistic presentation, I like to write them as info-dumps so if I send one to a friend they understand my reasoning.

Pasta amatriciana (pasta with pork, tomato and cheese)
Serves 1
Total time: 20-30 mins

20 g guanciale
1/3rd tsp chili flakes (less if hot)
White wine (optional)
100 g fresh small tomatoes (San Marzano is ideal, especially overripe)
Kosher salt
15 g pecorino romano
80 g pasta (traditionally: spaghetti, bucatini; also: casarecce, rigatoni, penne)

--

1. Cut the guanciale into large thin pieces, either long ribbons, or squares c. postage stamp-sized. Take a flared saute pan (or frying pan) to a low heat, toast the chili flakes for up to a minute, stirring and not allowing to smoke. Add the guanciale and gently cook until the fat renders and just begins to brown (don't allow it to go crispy), c. 6 mins total. If you like, add a splash of white wine and let it evaporate.

2. If you prefer the tomatoes to stay more intact, quarter them and lightly salt. If you would like them to dissolve into a sauce, peel the tomatoes by blanching, at which point the skins should split and slip away, then chop them into strips. Bring a pan of salted water to the boil for the pasta.

3. Add the tomatoes and cook on medium for a few minutes, then turn to low and gently cook until the mixture thickens into a rich sauce, c. 10 mins total. If you have time, 20 mins also works well (add spoons of water from the pasta as needed). Aim to have minimal moisture in the sauce by the time the pasta is finished (be careful of burning).

4. Meanwhile, once the water reaches boiling, add the pasta. As the pasta cooks, grate the cheese. Once the pasta is almost cooked, drain and reserve the water. Add the pasta to the sauce's pan and toss well at high heat, adding several splashes of the pasta water to create a thick sauce that coats the pasta, stirring regularly c. 30-60 secs. Remove the pan from heat, stir through the cheese, reserving some for garnish. Plate using a tablespoon* if using short pasta, or with tongs, twisting as you place it down if using long pasta. Garnish with remaining cheese.

*If you just tip out the pan rather than pile/twist the pasta on top of each other it'll look flat in the dish and you won't be able to as reliably reserve a little sauce at the end to spoon over the top. Tongs are used with long pasta for the same reason (reducing flat appearance).

--

Notes and optional processes:

The ingredient quantities for this is for a light rather than a large meal. Many recipes go up to 120 g pasta per portion, and you can adjust the ingredients accordingly.

Traditionally the ratio for pasta vs. guanciale is 1/4. Traditional recipes can call for quite a lot of cheese, up to 25 g per 100 g of pasta. I find that 15 g is plenty for 80 g (18/100, 22/120) pasta. If you lower the amounts of guanciale or cheese, ensure not to go too far as you will lose the signature flavour.

If you want to add olive oil, garlic, onion, etc, you can try the Roman variant of the dish. It is nice but less interesting, as with this version everything contributes flavour to its greatest ability, and diminishing returns occur the more fussy the amount of ingredients becomes.

Parmesan, grana padano, or other italian cheeses can be used. Pancetta can be used instead of guanciale, though it won't produce as much fat and won't taste as strong.

Herbs are not necessary, but if you prefer use either roughly chopped/torn basil or parsley stirred through during the combining, reserving some for garnish as with the cheese.

Not blanching/finely chopping the tomatoes will result in less of an even sauce distribution, which is desirable if you don't want the pasta to be entirely coated and coloured red, and for the tomatoes pieces to provide a little more visual texture. Blanching and finely chopping will more closely replicate the smoother sauce that you would get from using tinned tomatoes, but with a better flavour.

If you cut the guanciale into conventional batons or thicker pieces (like cubes), adjust initial cooking time up a little, and lower the heat even further if possible to avoid them crisping.

If doing a short cooking time (10 min tomato cook), start boiling the pasta water before you add the tomatoes. If you're using an electric stovetop, you can transfer the sauce's pan with the pasta added onto the element used to cook the pasta, as it will already be at high heat.

Cook the pasta in as shallow water as possible, to concentrate the starch that you add to the sauce. As long as you keep stirring, you can cook with almost no water remaining by the end. If your water goes dry when the pasta is ready to add to the sauce, you can pour a little tap water into the hot pasta pan, which will come to heat very quickly and gain some starch that was dried to the surface if you swill it around, and then add to the pasta and sauce if needed.

A pinch of sugar can be added to lower the acidity of the sauce, but with fresh tomatoes it shouldn't be needed. There is no need to garnish with ground black pepper, as if it's not hot enough, add more chili flakes next time.
 
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Some real good cookies.

So I learned this recipe from a website but decided to modify it a bit and I got some real good cookies!

What you need:

  • 2 1/2 cups all-purpose flour.
  • 3/4 teaspoon salt
  • 1 teaspoon ground nutmeg
  • 1/2 teaspoon ground cinnamon
  • 2/4 cup vegetable oil such as canola or corn.
  • 3/4 cups of granulated sugar and 1/4 maple syrup.
  • 2 large eggs
  • 1 teaspoon vanilla extract.
Procedure:
  • Preheat your oven to 375 F° (About 190 C°). Line a baking sheet with parchment paper.

  • In a medium bowl combine the flour, salt, and nutmeg.

  • Mix together the vegetable oil, maple syrup and sugar. Add the eggs one at a time, beating well after each addition. Add the vanilla extract.

  • Add flour mixture to the sugar mixture all at once; stir until well blended.

  • Scoop by teaspoons onto the cookie sheets.

  • Bake in the preheated oven for 10 to 12 minutes, or until lightly browned around the edges.

  • Let cool for about 2 to 3 minutes on baking sheets. Remove from baking sheets to a wire rack to cool completely.
Yields from 20 to 30 cookies.
 
I recently found a recipe for curried chickpeas that I really like.

View attachment 742340

Shit You'll Need:
  • 2 Tbsp olive oil
  • 1 med yellow onion
  • 2-4 cloves garlic (depending on personal preference)
  • 2 15 oz can chickpeas, drained
  • 3 roma tomatoes
  • 1 cup water
  • 1 Tbsp curry powder
  • 1/2 bunch fresh cilantro (optional)
1. Dice the onion tomatoes, and garlic. Cook the onion and garlic in a large pot with olive oil over medium heat until softened (3-5 minutes).

2. Drain the canned chick peas and add to the pot. Also add the tomatoes, water and curry powder. Stir the pot until everything is evenly mixed. Bring the mixture up to a simmer over medium heat.

3. While the chick peas are simmering, rinse the cilantro and pull the leaves from the stems. Roughly chop the leaves and add them to the pot. Give everything a stir and continue to simmer until the sauce has reduced to a thick consistency (about 20 minutes total). Stir the pot every few minutes to prevent the sauce from burning and sticking to the bottom.
Can I modify this recipe for curry chicken, maybe grill the chicken first in strips, then flip and start cooking the onions and garlic halfway?

I'm looking for a tasty curry chicken recipe for my meal prep; anyone got one?
 
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Potato, leek, and rabbit stew

rabbit stew.jpg


1 whole rabbit 4-5lbs (minus the head)
4-5 red potatoes
5 carrots
3 leeks
3 celery stalks
garlic
onion
bay leaf
chicken stock
fresh dill
sourcream

brine:
soy sauce
vice vinegar
salt
pepper
fish sauce

I don't really use exact measurements when I cook so I hope this recipe isn't too hard to follow. it has been adapted from a mix of different recipes like: borscht (minus the beets), chicken stew, potato and leek stew, and wild rabbit stew. if you don't raise meat rabbits on the cheap like I do you can substitute it with a whole chicken, and it should still be pretty cheap to make.

1. brine your rabbit.
this can be done any way that suites your tastes. if you like the taste of rabbit you should just brine it in water and salt. if you have never tasted rabbit before or aren't a huge fan you can brine in a cooked mixture of:

water
soy sauce
fish sauce
rice vinegar
salt

You know this is done cooking when the smell of fish sauce cooks off. you'll want to make sure you make enough of this to cover the whole rabbit. do not place the rabbit in while the brine is still hot. making the brine should take less then 15 minutes, and you'll want to brine the rabbit over night, preferably more than 8 hours.

now that's it's the next day take your rabbit out of the brine and rinse it off, making sure there isn't any left over hair or debris stuck to the meat. the brine can be saved but I don't recommend saving it for more than a couple of days.

2. cut the rabbit
take the rabbit and cut it into 6 pieces, each leg will be cut at the base of the body, and then cut the body in half in between the vertebra. do not cut the belly flaps off. they are normally really tough, but they will get softened while stewing and they are delicious. put a bit of pepper on each piece. before you move onto the next step get out a large pot that will fit the rabbit and then some, fill it with about 5 cups of water, and set it to boil

3. fry the rabbit
now that the meat is cut up it's time to fry it. in a large pan heat up some oil or fat of your choice on medium to medium-high heat, and wait until it's sizzling. fry each side of each piece until golden brown, and drop directly into the pot you prepared. now when I did this I had a lot of tasty crispy bits stuck to my pan, so poured some chicken stock into the pan, let it simmer while scraping the bottom, and then poured all that deliciousness into my pot.

4. top off pot and cook rabbit
after doing all of this ensure your rabbit is covered completely in liquid, you'll most likely need to pour some more in so just top the pot off with more chicken stock. put your heat up to med med-high and let it cook while you cut up the veggies. drop in a bay leaf or 2, some pepper, and make sure the pot is covered.

5. cut veggies while waiting for rabbit to cook
first cut up some garlic and drop it in the pot. this can be done at any time, but this is when I put it in. next cut up the leek into thin slices. most people say to only use the white parts, but those people are faggots that like to waste food. I like to go a couple of inches past the white part. makes sure you rinse the cut leek in a bowl until the water runs clear, as they tend to have a lot of dirt in them. after you got them cut drop them into the stew. go ahead and cut up your potatoes, celery, and carrots into equal sized pieces, about an inch thick, but don't put them in yet.

6. debone the rabbit
after cutting everything up check the rabbit to see if the meat easily pulls off the bone. if it doesn't let it cook until it does. go ahead and pull each of the 6 pieces out of the stew and pull as much meat as you possibly can off of the bones, either shred or cut it into about inch sized pieces, and drop the meat back into the pot. this part is a bit tedious but it makes it so you don't get a loose piece of cartilage swimming around in your bowl later on.

7. drop in the veggies and cook
at this point you'll want to put in your carrots, potatoes, and celery, in that order, with about 5 minutes in between each one being put in. while you're waiting for it to finish cooking mince up your dill and onion, and prepare a bowl for however many people are eating. it'll be done when the carrots and potatoes are done.

8. put that shit together and eat
spoon out some stew into a bowl, put a spoon or 2 of sour cream, sprinkle some dill and onion, and fuckin eat. if the brine was done correctly you shouldn't need to add any salt.


overall I'd say it's about an hour and a half, to a two hour cook time (not counting prep time), but well worth it. would also work really well if you meal prep, as you can freeze it and just place it in the fridge the day before eating it to defrost. the leftovers also reheat very well in the microwave if that's your thing. it can also be canned with great results. regardless of how you store it though, the sour cream, dill, and onions will always have to be fresh.
 
Cosmug’s Beef Stew - it’s a fairly traditional French onion soup recipe but the toast and gruyere removed and some extra thickeners added.

Ingredients:
-Onions. Like a fuckload. Say one medium onion for each person you intend to serve.
-Button mushrooms, I prefer baby buttons
-Old fashioned rolled oats, unflavored. We’re using these to thicken the stock.
-Stew beef
-Beef Broth
-Beef Consomme
-A red wine of your choice
-Peas
-Butter
-Thyme and bay leaves

Prep Time is about 2 hours

Caramelize the onions:
-Cut onions in half horizontally and peel.
-Leave the root and tip on for a handle, make a long cut on one side from the top to the base.
-Pick the onion up sideways and cut onion rings. Leaving the root and tip on will give you a grip.
-The goal is long strips, if you’re not confident in your knife skills, feel free to make onion rings and then cut them open.
-Melt some butter in a stewpot and over LOW heat, add your onions. The caramelization takes a while and heavily reduces the onions in size. You’re done when they’re soft, browned, and looking shriveled. This will require occasional stirring.
-If you like, sprinkle a small amount of sugar in and stir after you remove them from the heat. This is easy to overdo so be careful.

Sweat the Mushrooms:
-Warm a pan it medium heat, once hot add some mushrooms cut into small pieces. I use baby buttons because I can quarter them and get the perfect size.
-Do not add any fat at all by the way.
-Stir your mushrooms over this heat and salt lightly.
-You can go one of two ways on this, if you like your mushrooms sautéed, don’t crowd the pan and up the heat to high, stir and toss to get them nice and golden brown as all the moisture evaporates.
-ALTERNATIVELY you can keep the medium heat and add a lot more mushrooms to the pan. You’ll slowly get basically mushroom stock in the pan and they’ll shrivel as they release moisture. Remove from heat when they’re browned to your liking. That sauce goes into the final pot with your stock.

Brown the meat:
-I like to use the mushroom pan for this to pick up any fond from the mushrooms
-Believe it or not, it’s better to brown your meat whole and then cut it into final sizes for the stew, so don’t cut it before cooking.
-Heat up your pan over high heat and salt your meat, IMMEDIATELY get it into the pan after salting. In fact, I salt, pan and don’t salt the other side until I’m ready to flip.
-No more than a couple minutes on each side to get that color. Like literally 2 unless your meat is especially thick.
-Let it rest for a minute and deglaze this pan with red wine and remove from heat. Add this to the stock once it stops smoking.

Bring stew together:
-Add your beef broth to the pot with your caramelized onion, your mushroom juice, your deglaze, and thyme and bay leaf or two if you want.
-Add the oatmeal and place over medium heat, let this come to a simmer, the goal of this is to thicken the soup, it’ll basically not have any taste. A handful is all you need for about 4 cups of broth.
-Add your mushrooms and leave the lid off
-Cube your beef that’s rested and put it in. Simmer with the lid on, but cracked for about 30 minutes until your beef is tender.
-The beef consomme and peas should be added when it looks about ready, this will drop your temperature especially if your peas are frozen, so return it to a simmer with the lid off stirring occasionally and serve pretty much as soon as the simmer comes back.

This shit takes a while but if you’re like me, you’ll eat out of this batch for like five days.
 
Fermented Oatmeal
- Mix together a half cup steel cut oats, half cup water, and a tablespoon of full fat unflavored unsweetened yogurt into a clean glass or ceramic dish and cover with a wet towel or saran wrap. Make sure all of the oats are covered by the water/yogurt mixture, and make sure the yogurt is mixed in entirely or almost entirely.
- Leave sitting for anywhere from 12 hours to 7 days. The warmer the place you leave it the faster the oats will ferment, and the longer you leave the oats the stronger the fermentation flavor. Placing the oats in the fridge will "pause" the fermentation. Every 24 hours or so add in just enough water so that the oats are completely covered again. For your first time aim for between 12 and 24 hours.
- (optional) On the day you want to eat them, pour the oats into a fine mesh sieve and rinse with water. This makes the oats less sour. If this is your first time, you're better off doing this than not doing it.
- Place the oats into a saucepan and add half a cup of water.
- Place it over medium high heat. If you're in a hurry you can go high heat but if you aren't careful this can make the oats go past where you want them before you can catch it. Soaked oats cook in less time than non-soaked oats.
- Add a quarter to a half stick of butter. I go with a quarter stick personally.
- Stir continuously to avoid burning. You could do fine with "fairly often" instead of "continuously", but if you don't trust your judgement stir it continuously.
- When the oats are approaching the consistency you want pour in honey for taste, but no more than a table spoon (I usually do about half a tablespoon). You honestly don't need to measure it out. We'll be adding fruit later for more sweetness, so don't go overboard.
- If the oats are close to where you want them but the butter hasn't melted entirely, maybe you used frozen butter, turn the heat to medium low and stir until the butter is melted.
- When the oatmeal looks to be at the consistency you want, pour it into a bowl, add fresh fruit, and enjoy. While fresh fruit is preferable, in a pinch you can use a dried fruit like raisins, but don't try anything too chewy like dried apple or dried mango. Fruit that is better suited for baking, like apples, should be cut up and added while the oatmeal is cooking so that it can soften.

This goes great with eggs. I'll usually cook the oatmeal first and hold off on the fruit until the egg is done. The fruit comes out of the fridge and cools down the oatmeal, but without the fruit the oatmeal can stay warm for a bit.

Oats (half cup when dry): 300 calories
Yogurt (tablespoon, unless rinsed out): 17 or 0
Butter (quarter stick): 202 calories
Honey (tablespoon): 64 calories
Fruit (blueberries, quarter cup ish): 21 calories
Total Calories: 604 or 587
 
Dope-ass Jerk Pork Tenderloin:

Ingredients:
- ~1.5lbs Pork tenderloin
-8-14 Jalapeno peppers (depending on size of tenderloin)
-3 Habanero peppers
-1 Shallot
-1 Bunch of green onions (if you live somewhere where your grocer doesn't bunch scallions for you, 5-6 onions in total)
-Allspice
-Nutmeg
-Salt & Pepper
-Paprika if you're feeling saucy
-Olive Oil

Cut the top off all the peppers (de-seed if you want less heat) and put them and the shallot (cut into chunks), and the onions into a food processor. Dribble ~1Tbsp of olive oil and blend. You may need to continue to add olive oil, 1Tbsp at a time, to keep blending. Stop blending when it's reached a mushy consistency, but isn't too liquid. Add in ~ 2Tbsp of ground allspice (you can add more to taste, it should be dominant but not overpowering in the marinade), as well as 1Tsp paprika, nutmeg, and salt & pepper. At this point the marinade is ready for the meat.

Prepare your tenderloin, making sure to cut off all the silverskin (I find it's most expedient to just slice off the outer layer of meat as if it were a kebab, personally), and place it in a plastic bag/tupperware with the marinade. Leave, turning occasionally, in the fridge for at minimum 48 hours. 72 is best, in my experience. After letting it marinate, either fire up a grill or whatever you use as an approximate and set the heat on high. You want to quickly sear the outside (this is how you get the marinade to crust on top of the meat, which is literally the best part), and then drop the heat to medium low and let it get to 145 F internally, or until it feels medium rare.

Take it off the heat, let it rest for 10 minutes, slice against the grain and voila! Jerk Pork Tenderloin. I find slices of this with some vinegar-based coleslaw and bbq sauce on a bun is an excellent summer sandwich.
 
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The only thing I'd do differently is use scotch bonnets. But they're not always available everywhere.
 
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Sweet spaghetti sauce and spicy meat.

1 Jar of whatever spaghetti sauce you like.
1 can of tomato sauce
2 spoonfuls of granulated garlic
4 spoonfuls of Basil
1 cup of merlot(red wine)
2 spoonfuls of sugar
Dice half a cucumber into chips and then cut the cucumber chips into 4 pieces
Cook Italian sausage and add to sauce.

Let sauce sit for 2-3 hours and the sliced cucumber will pickle with the sauce. Its delicious. I like to let it sit overnight myself.
 
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