Skitzocow CoolDudeClem

[Gorogoroth]

I'm just gonna come straight out and say this and I don't care what those assholes at cwiki say. The perfect life for me would not be on this planet that's for sure. Sonic's world would be real, I would be living on Mobius, which is Sonic's planet, I would be about 12 again, no-one would ever age, I would be friends with Sonic, Tails and the others. That would be perfect for me. I never grew up inside, I am just a child in the wrong body and the wrong universe.
Jesus, learn to filter what you tell people Clem. I guess it doesn't matter anyway, doesn't look like anyone really gives a shit what he does, apart from us. Hopefully now he's blogging again we'll get more gems like that.

 

[LOLlolcow]

Plot twist: Mylar likes Clem's blogposts, especially the recent inner child stuff and the rant about British teenagers being not human
aka: everything we think is batshit insane
Oh my god, too much lolmilk

 

[Seahorses]

"I am different, I will admit that, I don't like to do drugs, smoke, swear (well the major swears anyway), roam with gangs or party all night to annoy the neighbors."

What? CoolDudeClem doesn't like to roam with gangs? You mean to tell me the "Cool Dudes" is not an organization of nefarious individuals I can be affiliated with?

 

[Ariel]

The perfect life for me would not be on this planet that's for sure. Sonic's world would be real, I would be living on Mobius, which is Sonic's planet, I would be about 12 again, no-one would ever age, I would be friends with Sonic, Tails and the others. That would be perfect for me. I never grew up inside, I am just a child in the wrong body and the wrong universe.

 

[Old Greg]

I would be about 12 again, no-one would ever age, I would be friends with Sonic, Tails and the others. That would be perfect for me. I never grew up inside, I am just a child in the wrong body and the wrong universe.

Gee that sounds very familiar...

Spoiler

 

[StilwellGrandma]

Clem posted two entries in his blog. One is about how much he can't stand winter and the other shows his contempt for Halloween--and change.

 

[Durable Mike Malloy]

Clem posted two entries in his blog. One is about how much he can't stand winter and the other shows his contempt for Halloween--and change.

Dear me, I wonder who Clem imagines to be reading his blog. If his goal is to persuade or refute his enemies here at the crapwiki, he's certainly not going about it in a sensible way. As long as he continues to offer up tantalizing bits of grist among the chaff of his repetitive rants, one is disinclined to shutter the rumor mill he claims to find so offensive. On some level, he must relish the attention he receives from us.

While expounding on his antipathy toward winter, Clem mentions that his family does not celebrate Christmas. As far as he is concerned, it is "just a nother cold, depressing, dark, lifeless dreary day." Could this be a relatively recent development? After all, in this remarkably ungracious video from 2010, Clem deconstructs a turntable he received as a Christmas present.

I guess it's possible that Clem's mom simply decided she wasn't going to make a big fuss over Christmas for a thankless manbaby anymore. On the other hand, his stated creationist views and hostility toward Halloween push the balance in favor of their involvement in some odd flavor of religious sect. With Clem, as we have learned, the most dysfunctional explanation is likely to be the correct one.

ETA: Because Clem has been so casual with his address, it is but the work of a moment to consider how these views align with churches nearby. I wonder if Clem's family aren't involved with the Jehovah's Witnesses.

 

[Gorogoroth]

sometimes it makes me feel like Spring and Summer will never return and killing myself would be the only way to end my suffering. I'm not going to kill myself because I have too much to do, but these Winters are driving me mad, every year I get pushed further and further towards the edge, one day it will be too late.
That's an unhappy man. Cheer up Clem, it's not all bad. I much prefer summer too so i suppose I can understand his feels.
Another thing is we don't celebrate Christmas, so for me, Christmas day is just a nother cold, depressing, dark, lifeless dreary day.
We don't celebrate Christmas, yeah, that sounds like religion rather than simply ignoring it to me. I think you're right, I'd back him in as a Jehovah's witness.

 

[CWCissey]

Yeah the only people in Blighty that don't do Christmas and do Creationism are invariably Jehovah's.

LOOK OUT CLEMSTOWN! You may soon be the victim of doorstop theologising from this prat!

 

[Durable Mike Malloy]

Yeah the only people in Blighty that don't do Christmas and do Creationism are invariably Jehovah's.

LOOK OUT CLEMSTOWN! You may soon be the victim of doorstop theologising from this prat!

Luckily for the potential targets of his proselytizing, Clem is easily deterred by swearing, unruly dogs, impolite teenagers, and being pelted with bits of rubbish.

You know, his fears are suddenly seeming quite justified? If Clem is expected to go out and witness door-to-door, I feel a bit bad for him, really.

 

[DrChristianTroy]

I'm just gonna come straight out and say this and I don't care what those assholes at cwiki say. The perfect life for me would not be on this planet that's for sure. Sonic's world would be real, I would be living on Mobius, which is Sonic's planet, I would be about 12 again, no-one would ever age, I would be friends with Sonic, Tails and the others. That would be perfect for me. I never grew up inside, I am just a child in the wrong body and the wrong universe.

This is the most autistic thing I have ever read.

 

[January Cyst]

He does get christmas presents though, so it might just be the autism speaking.

 

[Trombonista]

So Clem is transaged?

 

[ASoulMan]

Sometimes I think that Clem's voice is altered via editing software, but then realize that's what he really sounds like.

 

[StilwellGrandma]

Might he altering his voice to make ot sound deeper?

 

[ASoulMan]

Might he altering his voice to make ot sound deeper?

That wouldn't surprise me.

What I wonder though is how exactly did he get his voice to sound "child-like"? I bet he tries to talk in the most high-pitched voice he can muster.

 

[Old Greg]

I bet he tries to talk in the most high-pitched voice he can muster.

There is probably not much more to it than that. Remember Clem is someone who downplays social aspects of life and has a deluded himself with that "child forever" idea. Buster_Kitten made a good post about this earlier ITT.

I can kind of understand this, actually. A surprising number of people with a strong interest or background in physics, engineering and maths have creationist beliefs, even in the absence of strong religious convictions. I think this comes from a mindset that regards biology as a stupider, lesser branch of science, populated by people who are not smart enough to do physics, engineering or maths. Identifying as a creationist completely legitimizes a lack of curiosity - automatically they know better than all the experts, so they don't have to learn anything about something they've already decided they don't care about.

Clem is intellectually lazy when it comes to anything outside his narrow interests, so this would fit with what we know of him.

 

[Durable Mike Malloy]

More tubes unboxing. I find this video a bit difficult to watch, thanks to Clem's disgusting bed. One can practically smell the lingering fug of old food, dirty laundry and fried electronics - it's beyond distracting and actually quite repulsive. But don't give any constructive feedback in the comments, or Clem's loyal fans will leap to his defense with lines like, "You must be borned when explosed chernobyl. That time were often born retardet kids." Ooh, sick burn.

At least Clem doesn't reveal anyone's address or personal information this time, although MAN CAVE No.1 has asserted that he does not give a shit about being doxxed. That fellow seems tremendously needy - there's rather a whiff of unwholesomeness to his focus on Clem. Honestly, none of Clem's fans seem terribly appealing. Given this homegrown coterie of enablers, why would Clem even bother with wizardchan?

And what on earth is that yellow...handle-looking thing on Clem's bed in the outtakes at the end of the video? Why does he collect this stuff and put it in his bed? (Rhetorical question - we all know the answer is autism.)

 

[Old Greg]

More tubes unboxing. I find this video a bit difficult to watch, thanks to Clem's disgusting bed.

I was just about to ask the same thing. I assume it must be a burn or food but wow he could of made the video on the duvet instead of the part that makes contact with him for several hours a night.

Spoiler

And what on earth is that yellow...handle-looking thing on Clem's bed in the outtakes at the end of the video?

This. It looks like a retractable dog leash but without the cord.

 

[StilwellGrandma]

It is disgusting.

New video:

Why I suck at TF2!: