Corrupt-a-Wish

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Granted, but they heal poorly. Enjoy the limp.

I wish to have a personal soft-serve ice cream machine that never runs out.
 
Unfortunately, because everything is awesome, it all cancels out due to there being an overload.

I wish Bob and Patti rose back from the dead.
 
It is by the literal definition of the word. Nobody ever gets anything done because they're standing around staring at shit like a 16 year old kid on shrooms watching flashing christmas lights.

I wish I had a vintage IBM collection to play with like the dude who runs LGR.

(Edit) God damnit @c-no ninja'd!

Ok fine my wish stands btw. Bob and Patti rise from the dead but so does everything else that ever died.
 
LazarusOwenhart said:
It is by the literal definition of the word. Nobody ever gets anything done because they're standing around staring at shit like a 16 year old kid on shrooms watching flashing christmas lights.

I wish I had a vintage IBM collection to play with like the dude who runs LGR.

(Edit) God damnit @c-no ninja'd!

Ok fine my wish stands btw. Bob and Patti rise from the dead but so does everything else that ever died.
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Wish granted. With the amassed like of vintage video games at your disposal you soon become a shut in. In hopes that no one will bother you, you decide to move into someone's mothers basement and occupy it for several years. No one has come to look for you and the owners of the home are too scared to confront your illegal residency.

I wish my kidnapper would stop lying about there being candy in his van.
 
Granted. You break your spine in half and claim disability.

I wish I could corrupt more wishes.
 
Congrats! You can! Now you're stuck on this website forever. Glued to your seat as your life wastes away on just this one thread.

I wish I could stop smoking.
 
You no longer need to smoke but you replace the urge for nicotine with cocaine.

I wish my body could regenerate after taking wounds such my arm being cut off by knife or my nails being removed by pliers.
 
Granted, but you've also forgotten all of your childhood memories except for your least favorite and/or traumatic ones.

I wish I was a more cheerful person in general.
 
FataBataRang said:
Granted, but you've also forgotten all of your childhood memories except for your least favorite and/or traumatic ones.

I wish I was a more cheerful person in general.
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Congratulations! Severe brain damage grants you a constant rush of dopamine, making you exceptionally happy. And also reducing your IQ by seventy points.

I wish everyone had superpowers.
 
Granted: Chris gains the ability to make his dreams reality and the world is forever scarred.

I wish I looked like my avatar.
 
Dr W said:
Congratulations! Severe brain damage grants you a constant rush of dopamine, making you exceptionally happy. And also reducing your IQ by seventy points.

I wish everyone had superpowers.
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Granted, now everyone specifically has the superpowers of telepathy and super hearing. Everyone's thoughts are now clearly audible even when nothing is being said out loud. Good luck getting any privacy or peace and quiet now!

Ninja'd! EDIT:
Vrakks said:
I wish I looked like my avatar.
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Granted, now everyone flees in terror when you approach.

I wish I could create life.
 
Granted, but now reddit starts trying to disprove your existence, you are doxxed, and your life is basically ruined because even creating hungry grizzly bears cannot protect you from the pizza man.

I wish for the wish of the user above me to not be corrupted.
 
By broad definition EVERYTHING defined as a 'tick' stops existing. The stock market crashes and you've started WW3, again....

EDIT: I wish I'd remembered to make a wish without editing the post an hour later.
 
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Your wish has been granted. But now you feel an overwhelming urge to make wishes in threads outside of this one. Chris-Chan, Lolcows, and other threads are now trying to figure out why you re suddenly on a rampant wishing spree. And wishing for the most random things anyone could ever ask for.
I wish for the ressurection of Peter Steele.
 
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