Corrupt-a-Wish

[Dilbertmann]

Granted, but the terrible ice cream flavor is AIDS.

I wish I had a 3DS to tinker with in public like a wierd autistic little shit.

 

[Morbid Boredom]

It remembers everything horrible you've ever done to it, and it starts slithering around trying to murder you, and it NEVER FORGETS.

I wish I had some terrible ice cream flavor to eat.

That's not soft-serve chocolate...

I wish I was a messenger and all the news was good.

 

[exball]

It remembers everything horrible you've ever done to it, and it starts slithering around trying to murder you, and it NEVER FORGETS.

I wish I had some terrible ice cream flavor to eat.

It's Chris flavored.

I wish the new Star Wars won't suck.

 

[Morbid Boredom]

It's Chris flavored.

I wish the new Star Wars won't suck.

The new Star Wars movie, Episode 7, re-captures the magic of the original trilogy.
Unfortunately, Episode 8 is the absolute worst of the Franchise, and Episode 9 makes Episode 8 look like Casablanca.

I wish I only needed 4 hours of sleep a night.

 

[Konstantinos]

I wish I only needed 4 hours of sleep a night.

Thanks to the low amount of sleep you now need, you get to spend many more hours browsing the Kiwi Farms. After a few nights of reading about lolcows, you wonder what you're doing with your life and have an existential crisis. This subsequently leads to you falling out of a tall building while screaming "JULLLLAAAAAYYYY" on the way down.

I wish I had spare money I could donate to the forums.

 

[Abethedemon]

Thanks to the low amount of sleep you now need, you get to spend many more hours browsing the Kiwi Farms. After a few nights of reading about lolcows, you wonder what you're doing with your life and have an existential crisis. This subsequently leads to you falling out of a tall building while screaming "JULLLLAAAAAYYYY" on the way down.

I wish I had spare money I could donate to the forums.

You donate money to the farms, but they get shut down a day later because no one else donated anything.
I wish I could wish for wishes that wouldn't be corrupted.

 

[Jewelsmakerguy]

You donate money to the farms, but they get shut down a day later because no one else donated anything.
I wish I could wish for wishes that wouldn't be corrupted.

You get your wish, but as a side effect, you and everyone/thing you come into contact gets corrupted. Thus essentially making the wish null and void. Sorry 'bout that.

I wish I could draw better than I already can.

 

[Abethedemon]

You get your wish, but as a side effect, you and everyone/thing you come into contact gets corrupted. Thus essentially making the wish null and void. Sorry 'bout that.

I wish I could draw better than I already can.

But what if I wish that things that I come into contact with don't become corrupted?

 

[Trombonista]

You get your wish, but as a side effect, you and everyone/thing you come into contact gets corrupted. Thus essentially making the wish null and void. Sorry 'bout that.

I wish I could draw better than I already can.

You drawing gets better, but your singing gets worse.

I wish the weird cuts on my finger would heal.

 

[Abethedemon]

You drawing gets better, but your singing gets worse.

I wish the weird cuts on my finger would heal.

The weird cuts on your finger heal, but they leave strange scars. You travel to the heart of deepest Africa and some people mistake you for a witch and then proceed to pelt you with stones until you die a gruesome death.
I wish I could teleport wherever.

 

[Jewelsmakerguy]

You drawing gets better, but your singing gets worse.

I wish the weird cuts on my finger would heal.

Doesn't matter, I can barely sing as it is.

But what if I wish that things that I come into contact with don't become corrupted?

The wish decides to fuck with you every step of the way, finding new, and sometime stupid/fucked up idea to ruin your life and everything around you.

I wish I was bilingual.

 

[Konstantinos]

I wish I was bilingual.

You didn't specify which other languages you wanted to be fluent in so you now only know how to speak Basque, Manx, Ryukyuan, Inuit and Klingon.

I wish that I was dead.

 

[Jewelsmakerguy]

You didn't specify which other languages you wanted to be fluent in so you now only know how to speak Basque, Manx, Ryukyuan, Inuit and Klingon.

I wish that I was dead.

You die and then come back as a zombie, walking the Earth because no one wants you. Eventually you start the Zombie apocalypse.

I wish I could get the mold gone from my room.

 

[The Joker]

You get rid of the mold, but then cockroaches infest your room.

I wish I had the powers of superman and the protector of earth.

 

[Konstantinos]

I wish I had the powers of superman and the protector of earth.

You realize that Superman has boring superpowers and you tire of protecting Earth. You get apathetic and sadistic from the tedium. You eventually go all Irredeemable on humanity and destroy the planet.

I wish I could use the "Semper Fidelis" and "Horrifying" ratings.

 

[Space_Dandy]

I wish I had a 3DS to tinker with in public like a wierd autistic little shit.

You acquire a 3DS and begin playing Pokemon X and Y on it in public. Walking around with your game-addict mug glued to the game screens, people begin to avoid you as if your social ineptness will infect them. What first begins as a novelty soon grows by the day and soon you are hopelessly addicted to Pokeman. One night you die after a 48 hour binge session breeding Pokemon with no sleep, food, or water.

I wish I was a messenger and all the news was good.

The news is all good and your word brings smiles to faces of young and old alike. Too bad your news stories are just as uplifting as they are untrue.

I wish I could use the "Semper Fidelis" and "Horrifying" ratings.

You now have these advanced ratings and begin expressing yourself with them. It is quite disappoint though that you never seem to invoke a reaction of someone with them.

I wish work was cancelled tomorrow so I could catch up on sleep and maybe play some video games.

 

[exball]

You acquire a 3DS and begin playing Pokemon X and Y on it in public. Walking around with your game-addict mug glued to the game screens, people begin to avoid you as if your social ineptness will infect them. What first begins as a novelty soon grows by the day and soon you are hopelessly addicted to Pokeman. One night you die after a 48 hour binge session breeding Pokemon with no sleep, food, or water.



The news is all good and your word brings smiles to faces of young and old alike. Too bad your news stories are just as uplifting as they are untrue.



You now have these advanced ratings and begin expressing yourself with them. It is quite disappoint though that you never seem to invoke a reaction of someone with them.

I wish work was cancelled tomorrow so I could catch up on sleep and maybe play some video games.

You're fired. Work cancelled indefinitely.

I wish I had a R2D2 droid.

 

[Da Pickle Monsta]

I wish I had a R2D2 droid.

The droid grows to resent you. During a critical battle on Tatooine, he fails to give you your lightsaber. You are now bantha chow.

I wish I had a personal attack helicopter.

 

[Morbid Boredom]

The droid grows to resent you. During a critical battle on Tatooine, he fails to give you your lightsaber. You are now bantha chow.

I wish I had a personal attack helicopter.

Jace "commandeers" (read: steals) your attack helicopter and crashes it into the house of a Russian immigrant named Ivan Kamarov.

I wish we all had awesome hats.

 

[exball]

Jace "commandeers" (read: steals) your attack helicopter and crashes it into the house of a Russian immigrant named Ivan Kamarov.

I wish we all had awesome hats.

Hat's are mimics in disguise. We're all eaten.

I wish I was rich.