Corrupt-a-Wish

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Granted, it's been replaced by a tapeworm.

I wish for a stylish hat that's not a fedora.
 
Dio Brando said:
Granted, you now have a trilby.

I wish for happiness to my meaningless life
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You become the only happy member of the Farms. @Alan Pardew starts a Halal thread on you out of spite. It reaches 500 pages in 5 hours.

I wish I would pick up the trombone again.
 
trombonista said:
You become the only happy member of the Farms. @Alan Pardew starts a Halal thread on you out of spite. It reaches 500 pages in 5 hours.

I wish I would pick up the trombone again.
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You pick up a rusty trombone... :tomgirl:

I wish I were actually funny, and didn't need to resort to poor entendres.
 
Morbid Boredom said:
You pick up a rusty trombone... :tomgirl:

I wish I were actually funny, and didn't need to resort to poor entendres.
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You're funny, but in an unintentionally hilarious way. Everyone takes time out of their day to laugh at you, and to steal a page from trombonista, you inevitably end up with a lolcow thread and your own subforum.

I wish that this wish was someone else's wish.
 
Coster said:
You're funny, but in an unintentionally hilarious way. Everyone takes time out of their day to laugh at you, and to steal a page from trombonista, you inevitably end up with a lolcow thread and your own subforum.

I wish that this wish was someone else's wish.
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Chris gets a free wish

I wish for more wishes.
 
You get more wishes, but any wish you make has negative consequences and you're unable to rectify them. For example, wishing for unlimited wealth gets you arrested for money laundering and tax evasion. You then try to wish yourself out of jail, so the wish is granted by all the guards dying and now you're up for mass murder.

I wish I was more optimistic.
 
Granted, but you become optimistic to a fault. It becomes so bad that you can't see the negatives of not working, losing your job, and living on the street. People forever think you're crazy for being so optimistic in such a poor living condition.

I wish I had a mansion.
 
Granted, but you have to share it with six other housemates who carry Hep B, Hep C, HIV, C. Diff, ebola and TB respectively as a part of a zany reality show called, "Guess My Communicable Disease."

Also, there's only one bathroom.

I wish I could get killer enchiladas anytime I wanted.
 
Granted, but it's indestructible, is forever bound to your immortal soul, and it won't shut the fuck up.

I wish god was dead.
 
God dies, Lucifer ascends to Heaven, and the Nine Planes of Hell materialize in the human realm.

On the bright side, nobody pays sauna memberships anymore.

I wish I could fly.
 
Hooray, you can fly, but you get sucked into an airplane turbine.
I wish my pain meds for my jaw infection worked better.
 
Your pain meds work better and make your jaw as good as new, but the rest of your face is infected.
I wish genders didn't exist.
 
Everyone in the world now refer to each other as xir/xirself

I wish I can move to Japan where I can be with my true Nippon ninja brethren and practice my "kawaii zandantsu no jutsu" in peace away from those normies
 
Dio Brando said:
Everyone in the world now refer to each other as xir/xirself

I wish I can move to Japan where I can be with my true Nippon ninja brethren and practice my "kawaii zandantsu no jutsu" in peace away from those normies
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Despite not being Nihonjin, they accept you and train you in their ways. You are all unceremoniously killed by a rival clan that purchased firearms.

I wish I owned a house, title and deed.
 
Morbid Boredom said:
Despite not being Nihonjin, they accept you and train you in their ways. You are all unceremoniously killed by a rival clan that purchased firearms.

I wish I owned a house, title and deed.
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It's 14 Branchland Court
 
No wish to corrupt, so now you have to live there yourself.
I wish for a fine Kolsch, brewed in Koln.
 
You get just that... only you get it right after Germany makes the snap decision to repeal Reinheitsgebot.

I wish that I was a better writer.
 
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