Corrupt-a-Wish

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While you become a better writer, it's only better in writing crappy fan-fics, be it that of a show like MLP or a video game such as Sonic.

I was I was actually Alfonzo from Blue Seagull (who is also my avatar).
 
Konstantinos said:
You get just that... only you get it right after Germany makes the snap decision to repeal Reinheitsgebot.

I wish that I was a better writer.
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You spend years writing a novel that comes to be known as one of the best works of the early 21st century. Unfortunately, your obsessive writing take a massive toll on your psych, and you commit suicide after writing the last chapter. Your book is published posthumously.
I wish Chris was the leader of the world.
 
Chris is now the leader of the world. Unfortunately, Chris is now the leader of the world, as the world devolves into total war and anarchy, with different tribes fighting against each other to control the land.
I wish I had friends to play board games with.
 
Abethedemon said:
Chris is now the leader of the world. Unfortunately, Chris is now the leader of the world, as the world devolves into total war and anarchy, with different tribes fighting against each other to control the land.
I wish I had friends to play board games with.
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I built up a cash of guns, a group of survivalists, and a bunch of supplies. We manage to secure an area for ourselves in Virginia.
They're all flatulent assholes who whine about the rules and try to pull bullshit "technicality" stuff.
I wish we had space travel and conquered aliens and took their stuff.
 
Granted, but all their stuff is infected with an extremely lethal virus that kills every human except you. Have fun being eternally alone.
I wish for a Compound Bow.
 
Granted, but after a 60 Minutes expose the government bans compound bows as silent cop killing weapons only used by psychopaths and you can no longer use yours.

I wish I had a nicer car.
 
Splendid Meat Sticks said:
Granted, but after a 60 Minutes expose the government bans compound bows as silent cop killing weapons only used by psychopaths and you can no longer use yours.

I wish I had a nicer car.
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You now have a brand new red Corvette. Unfortunately, every time you park it outside, birds crap on the hood and windshield.

I wish I had a new swimsuit.
 
Granted, the day you wear it and go in public, it rips when you lay down or jump in any capacity, or even if you just move too quickly. Everyone can see your ass and/or genitals, and for some reason a kid throws a snow cone at you.

I wish for a new Bass Guitar.
 
trombonista said:
You now have a brand new red Corvette. Unfortunately, every time you park it outside, birds crap on the hood and windshield.

I wish I had a new swimsuit.
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It's new. To you. Unfortunately, the previous owner was Nick Bates. Something you only found out after putting it on.
I wish Brianna Wu ran for president and failed hilariously.
 
Alex Krycek said:
Granted, the day you wear it and go in public, it rips when you lay down or jump in any capacity, or even if you just move too quickly. Everyone can see your ass and/or genitals, and for some reason a kid throws a snow cone at you.

I wish for a new Bass Guitar.
Click to expand...
I would have gone with the boobs popping out, but that's just me. :tomgirl:

Anyway, you break one the of the strings five days after you get the bass guitar, and it takes you ten more days to replace it.

I wish I could eat at Tommy's again.
 
@Randall Fragg: Wu's presidency ends up destroying America, making it on par with North Korea in terms of economic wealth.


@trombonista: The Tommy's gets closed down after a health violation involving roaches, rats, and dropping. You also get some food poisoning thanks to whatever you ate from there

I wish I was actually Alfonzo from Blue Seagull (who is also my avatar).
 
You are a fictional character, and therefore do not exist.

I wish that I could find a job in my field.
 
Congrats, you are a great writer, but the chick from Misery is after you. She takes you hostage, breaks your legs, and forces you to write a book that makes her happy.
I wish my younger sister wasn't such a mean little cunt that hit my infected jaw by "accident" today.
 
Granted, but your nice little sister ended up hitting your jaw anyway, only this time it actually was an accident.

I wish I had an endless supply of doughnuts.
 
They are all nasty glutton free donuts.
I wish I had a Newfoundland dog.
 
You get a newfoundland dog. Unfortunately it is rabid and leaves its dropping all over your home.

I wish I take all Kiwi's alone to baster.
 
You take all the kiwis alone to baster, but unfortunately you baster the underage kiwis first and you get done for pedophilia. You spend your remaining days getting raped in prison.

I wish John Hughes made good films post-Planes, Trains & Automobiles
 
They find a previously undiscovered screenplay of his, which upon reading is hailed as the holy grail of film. Before they make copies of it, it is destroyed in a horrible fire. All that remains are the few details released to the press.

I wish I were a talented mangaka.
 
Wish granted, but you wrote an incredibly trope-ridden shonen piece of shit that doesn't make it out of its first two years in publication because of lack of interest and you commit seppuku in order to preserve your honor.

I wish I was made into a cyborg.
 
You are a cyborg from when they first experiment with the science and you are basically a human torso with clumsy mechanics attached being kept alive in a laboratory.

On that note; I wish they had prosthetics that integrate seamlessly with the body as in the one Will Smith's character wears in I, Robot.
 
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