Could this be real?

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Marvin said:
Also, have we actually seen Chris' business cards? Because this card looks very familiar... Maybe I've just seen his mii in some other form before.
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We've seen his old ones from long ago, but those don't look anything like this.

And I could definitely see some weensperging on this level.
 
Marvin said:
Well yeah. And I know there are some pathetic weens out there, but this is a bit too pathetic. I know people that retarded exist, but... I don't know. I guess if this person is weeny enough to make this up, I'd like to meet them. Because that's some pretty hardcore ween.

Also, have we actually seen Chris' business cards? Because this card looks very familiar... Maybe I've just seen his mii in some other form before.
Click to expand...

I am sure we have seen this card before, some time last year. And then, it was accepted as truth, but I can't remember the circumstances about it
 
Marvin said:
Because this card looks very familiar... Maybe I've just seen his mii in some other form before.
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I remember seeing this business card before, there was some hub-bub about if the different eye color thing was a mii thing or a custom deal.
Forget if it was this post from 4 months ago or something else, though.
 
Interestingly, this is few days before he made the Facebook post:

Pok'emon Safari in X/Y; name is Christian; 3DS Friend Code is [REDACTED] If adding me, please message your 3DS Name and Friend Code in the Miiverse to me at SonichuChandler; no Facebook Messages.
​
If this is true, perhaps Chris is desperate to try and find any 3DS Friends.
 
Well we know the lengths Chrissy will go to get his pokeyman collection. Perhaps he's even willing to tolerate Jerks if it will get him a (insert super rare pokey-thing).

I'd say its legit but that's just my gut feeling. I feels like something he would do.
 
Why would Chris just reply "No comment" when asked if it's him though?
Chris would reply "YES LOYAL FAN IT IS I THE ONE TRUE CHRISTIAN WESTON CHANDLER BORN CHRISTOPHER ON FEBRUARY 23RD 1982 AND THE TRUE CREATOR OF SONICHU CREATED MARCH 17 2001 DONT STEAL"
 
Broder Daniel said:
Why would Chris just reply "No comment" when asked if it's him though?
Chris would reply "YES LOYAL FAN IT IS I THE ONE TRUE CHRISTIAN WESTON CHANDLER BORN CHRISTOPHER ON FEBRUARY 23RD 1982 AND THE TRUE CREATOR OF SONICHU CREATED MARCH 17 2001 DONT STEAL"
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"IGNORE ALL GOOGLE RESULTS!"
 
He hashtagged the post with #CWCki, #encyclopedia dramatica and even #vivitheg which suggests the guy has done more than surface level research on OPL. I've created quite a few Mii characters on the Wii and I'm pretty sure you can't create one with heterochromia unless they've changed that.

The card itself is actually worn and discolored on two of the corners on the short side suggesting it was actually stuck in a wallet for at least a short time. I find it interesting that it has smooth edges and isn't sloppily cut out by a safety scissors like it was printed out on a sheet of ten.

I don't know what to think. If I met Chris in real life and was excited about it I would at least comment on what he was wearing. The story that he posted with the card doesn't really mesh for me. Maybe he was so proud of his fake CWC card he just wanted to post it and didn't think anything else through. Or was so excited about his real CWC card. I don't know.
 
But why did he then use glasses on his Miisona? I know he usually have his pedoglasses on but not on his old "posing" pics...
 
People who don't believe it don't want to believe it :tomgirl:

I believe it, because I always enjoy stories of meeting Chris in real life.
 
TrippinKahlua said:
People who don't believe it don't want to believe it :tomgirl:

I believe it, because I always enjoy stories of meeting Chris in real life.
Click to expand...
I called upon the Chandlers once. It was an occasion I'll never forget. Mainly because of the screaming

I shall always remember the screaming. That sound alone, out of the entire saga, shall forever herald the fondest of all dreams when I sleep. The screams of suffering, the screams of begging, the screams of a man watching his beloved children be subject to unspeakable depravities while he struggles impotently against my weight. This is the sound I shall always cherish.

It had not taken long to locate Chris. His home address had been a well known fact for years now, and due to him being a friendless subhuman autist I knew he resided there almost every moment of his worthless life. I waited until he left for Mcdonalds before I infiltrated that foul castle of idiocy, but not one moment after I entered did I find myself face to face with the progenitor of unspeakable autism. Barbara "feisty dog" Chandler.

Enraged, she raised her fists to the air and told me how much trouble my butt was now in, but seeing the monster who created the autistic abomination, I was filled with holy furry, and after punching her through a wall, I yanked my knife from my pickle suit and began my bloody work.

Not one moment of Barb's life, not even the days she spent as a girl watching her drunken father violate lubricated farm animals, could prepare her for what I was to do to her. When I had finished with my weapon, and my knife, all that remained of her was a sagging pelt of skin, and stinking chunks of flesh scattered atop mountains of junk. The loss of his personal cook and carer would hurt chris, maybe even destroy him. But this bloodbath had been but a prelude to my true vengeance.

Grinning with childlike mirth, I clambered inside the flayed heap of skin, and lumbered into my victim's bed, and waited for my nemesis to return home. When Chris finally stumbled into his mothers room he did not notice me. Nor did he notice the chunks of human flesh lying around. He seemed far more interested in what I soon realized to be his mother's lingerie draw before I finally cleared my throat to attract his attention.

It did not immediately occur to him that I was merely wearing her folds of flesh as a mere suit, and for what seemed like hours he ranted about "dem damn homos" while my rage slowly built up inside me. However, when he started to describe his dream of barb as a belly dancer, my patience finally wore out. Calling him to my side, I held his hand tight, and still imitating Barb, I told him this was the end.

Sighing with annoyance Chris moaned that I was just trying to get his attention, and that Bob had tried the same thing just before he died, and it was at this insult to the holy lumberjack that I sprung my trap. Yanking his hand accross me, I flung the foul creature head first into the wall, stunning him as he screamed in confusion, before I stripped the skin and picklesuit off me to reveal my glorious naked form.

As Chris looked up at me, the last thing he saw was my enormous, pulsating, pickle, and now shaking with homophobic terror, he demanded to know why there was a tiny sonichu medallion glued to the japs-eye opening. In cold, righeteous fury, I told Chis that this was Fistichu, my own original parody of sonic crossed with my favorite porn star Fisty mc Fisterton, and that together we were going to make him suffer for his atrocities against decency, and the insult his existance was to my greatness.

With a warriors roar that would have made all great heros erect with pride, I plunged my hardened penis and it's fistichu head directly into Chris's eye socket. beneath me I could feel him shit himself in rage as he was forced to touch another man's genitals, but that did not matter. All that mattered was getting into his mind. Which I was able to do with an extra strong thrust through his skull. As his brain touched my junk, I was able to finally enter his thoughts, and as our minds became one, I witnessed the metaphor of my genitalia violating his cerebra-cortex being carried out in glorious reality.

Around me, cwcville was ablaze, the blood of thousands soaked the streets and I saw the crucified bodies of Chris's imaginary fans and friends nailed to the walls of every building. But what was most beautiful was the fate of Chris's Sonichu. Before me lay every single sonichu in a straight line, each one's mouth stitched to the next one's anus with red hot iron clamps.

Behind them was my fistichu, his godly body naked as mine, and his majestic penis thrust into the anus of Sonichu. Then to my amazement, it emerged out of the mouth of Angelica, who was at the start of this hedgehog centipede, and then realization struck me. Fistichu's penis had in fact traveled through the anus, digestive system, and mouth of everyone in this line, violating all of them in one beautiful thrust. Tears trickled down my cheeks as I was humbled by the majesty of this event.

Beneath me, I heard a quiet sobbing. Looking down I saw Chris's face beneath my manly boot, his eyelids held open by staples, forced to watch this unspeakable depravity by my mighty leg. After countless hours of making him watch, and with a deep, booming laugh, I knelt down and put my moth close to his ear, and with shout louder than a thousand thunderclaps, I obliterated the last threads of his existance with a deafening JULAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY

As his mind finally died, I was returned to reality to find myself standing ancle deep in Chris's terminal feces. Knowing it would be years before anyone cared to visit the building, I allowed myself an hour to clean myself off, before setting off into the virginia night towards the coast still naked as the day I was born, knowing deep in my heart that I had finally done what all christorians wish to do, and what the holy prophet A-log had decreed. My work, was finally done.

Or maybe that was @Judge Holden I dunno lol

EDIT: No this isn't mine
Judge Holden said:
AHEM!

http://www.cwckiforums.com/threads/rule-changes.633/#post-46399

Direct all your queries about Fistichu to me please. Not to the fagget who stole it
Click to expand...
 
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Unbovvered said:
I called upon the Chandlers once. It was an occasion I'll never forget. Mainly because of the screaming

I shall always remember the screaming. That sound alone, out of the entire saga, shall forever herald the fondest of all dreams when I sleep. The screams of suffering, the screams of begging, the screams of a man watching his beloved children be subject to unspeakable depravities while he struggles impotently against my weight. This is the sound I shall always cherish.

It had not taken long to locate Chris. His home address had been a well known fact for years now, and due to him being a friendless subhuman autist I knew he resided there almost every moment of his worthless life. I waited until he left for Mcdonalds before I infiltrated that foul castle of idiocy, but not one moment after I entered did I find myself face to face with the progenitor of unspeakable autism. Barbara "feisty dog" Chandler.

Enraged, she raised her fists to the air and told me how much trouble my butt was now in, but seeing the monster who created the autistic abomination, I was filled with holy furry, and after punching her through a wall, I yanked my knife from my pickle suit and began my bloody work.

Not one moment of Barb's life, not even the days she spent as a girl watching her drunken father violate lubricated farm animals, could prepare her for what I was to do to her. When I had finished with my weapon, and my knife, all that remained of her was a sagging pelt of skin, and stinking chunks of flesh scattered atop mountains of junk. The loss of his personal cook and carer would hurt chris, maybe even destroy him. But this bloodbath had been but a prelude to my true vengeance.

Grinning with childlike mirth, I clambered inside the flayed heap of skin, and lumbered into my victim's bed, and waited for my nemesis to return home. When Chris finally stumbled into his mothers room he did not notice me. Nor did he notice the chunks of human flesh lying around. He seemed far more interested in what I soon realized to be his mother's lingerie draw before I finally cleared my throat to attract his attention.

It did not immediately occur to him that I was merely wearing her folds of flesh as a mere suit, and for what seemed like hours he ranted about "dem damn homos" while my rage slowly built up inside me. However, when he started to describe his dream of barb as a belly dancer, my patience finally wore out. Calling him to my side, I held his hand tight, and still imitating Barb, I told him this was the end.

Sighing with annoyance Chris moaned that I was just trying to get his attention, and that Bob had tried the same thing just before he died, and it was at this insult to the holy lumberjack that I sprung my trap. Yanking his hand accross me, I flung the foul creature head first into the wall, stunning him as he screamed in confusion, before I stripped the skin and picklesuit off me to reveal my glorious naked form.

As Chris looked up at me, the last thing he saw was my enormous, pulsating, pickle, and now shaking with homophobic terror, he demanded to know why there was a tiny sonichu medallion glued to the japs-eye opening. In cold, righeteous fury, I told Chis that this was Fistichu, my own original parody of sonic crossed with my favorite porn star Fisty mc Fisterton, and that together we were going to make him suffer for his atrocities against decency, and the insult his existance was to my greatness.

With a warriors roar that would have made all great heros erect with pride, I plunged my hardened penis and it's fistichu head directly into Chris's eye socket. beneath me I could feel him shit himself in rage as he was forced to touch another man's genitals, but that did not matter. All that mattered was getting into his mind. Which I was able to do with an extra strong thrust through his skull. As his brain touched my junk, I was able to finally enter his thoughts, and as our minds became one, I witnessed the metaphor of my genitalia violating his cerebra-cortex being carried out in glorious reality.

Around me, cwcville was ablaze, the blood of thousands soaked the streets and I saw the crucified bodies of Chris's imaginary fans and friends nailed to the walls of every building. But what was most beautiful was the fate of Chris's Sonichu. Before me lay every single sonichu in a straight line, each one's mouth stitched to the next one's anus with red hot iron clamps.

Behind them was my fistichu, his godly body naked as mine, and his majestic penis thrust into the anus of Sonichu. Then to my amazement, it emerged out of the mouth of Angelica, who was at the start of this hedgehog centipede, and then realization struck me. Fistichu's penis had in fact traveled through the anus, digestive system, and mouth of everyone in this line, violating all of them in one beautiful thrust. Tears trickled down my cheeks as I was humbled by the majesty of this event.

Beneath me, I heard a quiet sobbing. Looking down I saw Chris's face beneath my manly boot, his eyelids held open by staples, forced to watch this unspeakable depravity by my mighty leg. After countless hours of making him watch, and with a deep, booming laugh, I knelt down and put my moth close to his ear, and with shout louder than a thousand thunderclaps, I obliterated the last threads of his existance with a deafening JULAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY

As his mind finally died, I was returned to reality to find myself standing ancle deep in Chris's terminal feces. Knowing it would be years before anyone cared to visit the building, I allowed myself an hour to clean myself off, before setting off into the virginia night towards the coast still naked as the day I was born, knowing deep in my heart that I had finally done what all christorians wish to do, and what the holy prophet A-log had decreed. My work, was finally done.

Or maybe that was @Judge Holden I dunno lol
Click to expand...

Shocked.gif
 
Marvin said:
Well yeah. And I know there are some pathetic weens out there, but this is a bit too pathetic. I know people that retarded exist, but... I don't know. I guess if this person is weeny enough to make this up, I'd like to meet them. Because that's some pretty hardcore ween.
Click to expand...

Yeah, kind of along the lines of what I posted earlier, if this was a troll then he's just trolling himself because he put a not-insignificant amount of effort into it and it's not particularly funny or creative. Although I guess having some Tumblr re-Tumbls (or whatever they call it), a few pages on the forums and whatever /cow/ is now, might be worth it to him, and if so, then I just feel kind of bad for him.

Alec Benson Leary said:
He really would respond like that now, though. He's so paranoid that even making eye contact with him will raise the red flag.
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Plus he's :stupid: enough to not realize that replying "no comment" to that particular question = "yes."
 
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