Create your own Santa - We must diversify Santa

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JambledUpWords

JambledUpWords

You should pay me because I’m hot
True & Honest Fan
kiwifarms.net
Joined
Aug 16, 2018
Okay, we must all diversify Santa. You can do it in multiple ways. Make a list, draw a picture, or write a poem about why your Santa is the best. Black Santa is kind of cliche though, so be creative.

An example:

The New and Improved Santa
  • Was a black trans man chosen from Harvard to be the new Santa
  • There is no Mrs. Claus, it’s Them Claus
    • Them Claus is a 5’1” Swedish gender fluid person who was chosen for their immense tolerance and for making transphobes angry
  • This new Santa lives in a post modern building shaped like a giant globe with a giant mosaic of all the countries of all the world being represented around the entire building to show that this Santa is a global citizen
  • The Elves live in pods and are fed a non-dairy, meat free, and gluten free meals every day and are happy to only make things for others and own nothing
  • There is no head reindeer in the reindeer lineup. All reindeer are retired because it’s animal abuse to use them for labor. As such, they all live in an animal sanctuary and the sleigh is powered by snow (don’t ask for how it works). The new green technology as made reindeer outdated
  • Santa gets pregnant every year and the babies are raised to be good citizens, with one eventually getting chosen to be the new leader once the current Santa retires. As a requirement, all Santas from here on out must be trans
 
How about a new Mrs. Claus?

  • Lives in a modest, two-story house in Idaho for business reasons.
  • 50 at the earliest
  • Santa during the holidays, philanthropist during the rest of the year
  • 20th century aesthetic
  • Promotes good will, honesty and integrity
  • Company vehicles involves Mercedes SUV, jet
  • A little dated, but means well
  • Doesn't take shit like Joan Rivers
  • Stocky legs
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Autistic Santa

His home in the North Pole is made out of Lego

Instead of leaving him cookies and milk, he prefers Mountain Dew and tendies, arranged on the plate from smallest to largest

Prefers to call his reindeer in alphabetical order instead of the famous way (On Dasher! On Dancer! On Prancer! etc) has a spergout if he hears people reciting the famous way and leaves them nothing

When he leaves toys, he also leaves extremely detailed instructions on how the kid is supposed to play with them. Any deviation puts them on the bad list

His elves don’t just make toys, they’re also his tard wranglers

Mrs. Claus isn’t his wife, she’s his mother he still lives with who enables him
 
I'm thinking my Mrs. Claus would be played by Rosalind Russell.

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Or the late Jessica Walter.

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Maybe they could convince Santa to lose a LITTLE weight. I know he's magic but how does his fat ass fit through an average household chimney?
 
Nazi Furry Santa
  • Lives in North Pole, as it’s where the Hyperborean society is, and he is esoteric
  • No animal labor here, as it’s exploitive
  • Everyone is vegan and they can grow abundant food in an arctic tundra due to increased IQ from eugenics
  • Gifts are only for Aryans and animals, no one else
  • Krampus is best friends with Nazi Furry Santa and beats all the Jews, blacks, gays, and troons every year
  • Also best friends with Hitler’s ghost and helps carry out his wishes when it’s not Christmas
  • Elves are all part of a union and work for decent pay in an autarky. It is a society where Nazi Furry Santa works on making Elves feel as appreciated as possible
  • Nazi Furry Santa is married to Mrs. Trad Nazi Furry Claus and they have 290 children so far. They are helping repopulate the North Pole with furry Aryans, as things should be
  • All disabled Elves that are born are mercifully killed so they don’t have a chance of reproducing offspring that could weaken the Aryan race
  • The main buildings are all classical revivals with a modern twist. Very big, very aesthetic, and awesome looking
  • Everyone wears military uniforms to look as sharp as possible and everything is kept neat and orderly
  • This is where all the Aryan furries that are good go. They get taken to the North Pole to help make more Aryans and everyone yiffs in paradise.
  • They eventually conquer the entire world following the plot of the Turner Diaries and Nazi Furry Santa, ghost Hitler, and Krampus are treated as gods for making the 1000 Year Reich happen
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how about deathfat santa. he'd need twice as many reindeers and tries to eat some of them, etc etc fat joke
 
Keeping expectations normal Santa:

  1. Kind old man who just does the mall gig because he was asked
  2. Never says I can make that happen to a single child’s wish
  3. Constantly tells kids that the market wasn’t good to Santa this year, and he might not be able to make it happen
  4. Oh and he looks uncomfortable around every child because he realized only at the mall he had to let them all touch him and he’s a f an if personal space
Goyim children learn about expectations and their parents don’t have to be the assholes and blame someone else for not getting gift and can have an honest talk about what’s really important during the holidays.
 
Norse Santa
1. Old wanderer with one eye
2. Gives advice instead of toys
3. Is just a slightly more festively dressed Odin
 
Good afternoon, my name is Davidd Peebody and I am an attorney with Peebody and Peabody. This is a courtesy letter and will be preceding a legal cease and desist order if it goes unacknowledged. Your thread violates copyright law, wherein my client (read: Cats) is the primary owner and operator of the website known as www.create-a-santa.com (herein referred to as "the website") and has full obligatory rights to any and all creation of said personage. This constitutes a critical violation of copyright and it is demanded that you remove your thread or relinquish its ownership to my client henceforth.

Regards,
Davidd Peebody
Peebody and Peabody, PLLC.
7734 Wematanye Rd., Pooninny Squaw Nv. 800815
 
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