Creationists - Jack Chick, Kent Hovind, etc.

[Saney]

Well fuck all the satellites and telescopes pointing at the sun, apparently they don't prove shit.

Also I've known about all the insane POKEMON IS LITERALLY SATANIC shit for years, and it never ceases to amaze me just how little they understand Pokemon. If you're going to claim something is satanic, at least know what the fuck you're talking about before you talk about people turning into Pokemon which somehow means Satan.

They can't, research is the devil.

 

[An Ounce of Vagina]

Just leaving this here....

Please tell me that's a troll. Please OH GOD tell me that's a troll. Nobody is that stupid right?




Right?

Sadly this guy is legit. Look him up on Google.

Anyone else read things like that and think universal suffrage was a terrible idea?

 

[WWWWolf]

Please tell me that's a troll. Please OH GOD tell me that's a troll. Nobody is that stupid right?

Right?

The guy uses bananas as a proof of intelligent design and thought "bibliophile" had something to do with bible and pedophilia.

Good rule of thumb: If you see a Ray Comfort quote that actually makes sense, it was likely posted by a troll. If it makes you say "this has to be parody", it's probably genuine.

 

[MysticMisty]

The guy uses bananas as a proof of intelligent design

I realize I've heard of him before now. He's the guy who tells Kirk Cameron absurd shit to parrot out to the masses. I've not forgotten about the "crocoduck".

 

[Saney]

The guy uses bananas as a proof of intelligent design

I realize I've heard of him before now. He's the guy who tells Kirk Cameron absurd shit to parrot out to the masses. I've not forgotten about the "crocoduck".

An yes, the crocoduck. Christ, what a fucktard.

 

[c-no]

Just leaving this here....

I may be a creationist but really, that is so moronic it's both funny and painful. If that ball is God's concentrated love, it's a painful one when its ray's gives you cancer and sunburn.

 

[José Mourinho]

Just leaving this here....

I actually thought at first this is more of a metaphor.

Anyway, time for another "John Paul Jackson" quote!

Modern Witchcraft

It is surprising how many Christians are deceived concerning the dangers of witchcraft. In the last ten years, withcraft has had a surge of popularity in our culture. Just take a look at the astronomical sales of the Harry Potter children's books, where the hero and his friends cast spells, read crystal balls and turn themselves into animals.

Also disturbing is the popularity of television shows like Charmed, Buffy the Vampire Slayer or Sabrina, the Teenage Witch and movies like The Craft that blatantly promote a modernized witchcraft. Their heroines are young, hip and alluring witches. They serve as role models and train our children how to practice sorcery. It may surprise you to learn that in schools across our nation, clubs for witches outnumber Christian clubs. The blatantly defiant attitude of those practitioners is growing more hostile every day.

 

[Grand Number of Pounds]

Just leaving this here....

I actually thought at first this is more of a metaphor.

Right. I think it was a poor attempt at a joke.

 

[José Mourinho]

Bumping this thread for another part of John Paul Jackson's "A Closer Look At Pokemon" book:

Night Terrors
The consequences of such role-playing strategies on our children are profound. Several parents have shared with me that, in the initial stages of the game, it was common for their children to have nightmares and wake up screaming in fear.

After briefly speaking on this subject at a conference, a mother came up to me the following day. With great excitement she said, "Last night my son's nightmares instantly stopped!" She had previously removed all Pokemon paraphernalia from her son's room, but his night terrors still remained. As she prayed, the Lord gave her a supernatural word of knowledge: her son had hidden a Pokemon card among his stack of baseball cards. After attending my conference, she returned home and spoke with her son about the game. He reluctantly confessed to keeping a card. After explaining the spiritual problems associated with the game, they went to their fireplace together and burned the remaining card. For the first time in months, her son slept through the night peacefully. When he awoke, he was in a good mood, which had not been true since the nightmares began.

 

[WWWWolf]

... hidden a Pokemon card among his stack of baseball cards. ... they went to their fireplace together and burned the remaining card.

But unbeknownst to them and knownst to all Bible-learners, the evil spirit of Pokémon was not actually destroyed in a fire. The ashes in the fireplace stirred and spread, contaminating the atmosphere within the house forever, driving the occupants slowly insane over the long, long following years. For they had neglected even greater evil, far worse and insidious than any of them could imagine in their theology: the evil spirit of the Pokémon had made a pact with the malevolent daemon residing in a baseball card in the stack. (Nobody knows anything about baseball, so rumours say it was some really shitty pitcher who died in a freak accident, or something along those lines.)

(...sorry, NaNoWriMo is on, I get this terrible urge to turn everything into fanfiction...)

 

[TastyWoodenBadge]

Night Terrors
The consequences of such role-playing strategies on our children are profound. Several parents have shared with me that, in the initial stages of the game, it was common for their children to have nightmares and wake up screaming in fear.

I used to play Pokémon games as a kid (and still do) and I don't recall ever having nightmares.

 

[CalmMyTits]

Ahh, good old Ray Cumfart.

That guy always makes me facepalm with his sheer nonsense.

Also, Cthulhu tracts FTW.

 

[littlebiscuits]

Omg they STILL give these things out in subways. I mean, people always hand things out in subways, that's just normal, but the way the jack chick people do it is particularly obnoxious. They stand directly in front of the entrance terminals to the S track, and the 4-7. Literally the most crowed place in all of NYC. They also ride shuttle round and round to hand out more chick tracks, which you aren't supposed to do. Oh! And they will chase down people who they think really need a chick track. Like, two years ago on the S track I saw two of them bombard a Muslim women, a mom with two very little kiddies, with their little comic books. They tried to preach their whole little speech at her. She took out her ipod and put her headphones in while they were talking to her. It was kind of awesome.

 

[c-no]

Omg they STILL give these things out in subways. I mean, people always hand things out in subways, that's just normal, but the way the jack chick people do it is particularly obnoxious. They stand directly in front of the entrance terminals to the S track, and the 4-7. Literally the most crowed place in all of NYC. They also ride shuttle round and round to hand out more chick tracks, which you aren't supposed to do. Oh! And they will chase down people who they think really need a chick track. Like, two years ago on the S track I saw two of them bombard a Muslim women, a mom with two very little kiddies, with their little comic books. They tried to preach their whole little speech at her. She took out her ipod and put her headphones in while they were talking to her. It was kind of awesome.

That actually is awesome, just using an ipod to ignore the Jack Chick people. Honestly though, I wonder if they ever got in trouble regarding the shuttle ride to hand out more Chick Tracts.

 

[littlebiscuits]

Omg they STILL give these things out in subways. I mean, people always hand things out in subways, that's just normal, but the way the jack chick people do it is particularly obnoxious. They stand directly in front of the entrance terminals to the S track, and the 4-7. Literally the most crowed place in all of NYC. They also ride shuttle round and round to hand out more chick tracks, which you aren't supposed to do. Oh! And they will chase down people who they think really need a chick track. Like, two years ago on the S track I saw two of them bombard a Muslim women, a mom with two very little kiddies, with their little comic books. They tried to preach their whole little speech at her. She took out her ipod and put her headphones in while they were talking to her. It was kind of awesome.

That actually is awesome, just using an ipod to ignore the Jack Chick people. Honestly though, I wonder if they ever got in trouble regarding the shuttle ride to hand out more Chick Tracts.

Actually my Dad has seen the undercover subway cops write them tickets for not getting off the shuttle and harassing people with their booklets. You have to get off the shuttle. It's okay if you miss the stop or something, but if you just stay on and ride it all day, you get a ticket.

 

[Surtur]

Omg they STILL give these things out in subways. I mean, people always hand things out in subways, that's just normal, but the way the jack chick people do it is particularly obnoxious. They stand directly in front of the entrance terminals to the S track, and the 4-7. Literally the most crowed place in all of NYC. They also ride shuttle round and round to hand out more chick tracks, which you aren't supposed to do. Oh! And they will chase down people who they think really need a chick track. Like, two years ago on the S track I saw two of them bombard a Muslim women, a mom with two very little kiddies, with their little comic books. They tried to preach their whole little speech at her. She took out her ipod and put her headphones in while they were talking to her. It was kind of awesome.

That actually is awesome, just using an ipod to ignore the Jack Chick people. Honestly though, I wonder if they ever got in trouble regarding the shuttle ride to hand out more Chick Tracts.

Actually my Dad has seen the undercover subway cops write them tickets for not getting off the shuttle and harassing people with their booklets. You have to get off the shuttle. It's okay if you miss the stop or something, but if you just stay on and ride it all day, you get a ticket.

That's hilarious.

 

[c-no]

Omg they STILL give these things out in subways. I mean, people always hand things out in subways, that's just normal, but the way the jack chick people do it is particularly obnoxious. They stand directly in front of the entrance terminals to the S track, and the 4-7. Literally the most crowed place in all of NYC. They also ride shuttle round and round to hand out more chick tracks, which you aren't supposed to do. Oh! And they will chase down people who they think really need a chick track. Like, two years ago on the S track I saw two of them bombard a Muslim women, a mom with two very little kiddies, with their little comic books. They tried to preach their whole little speech at her. She took out her ipod and put her headphones in while they were talking to her. It was kind of awesome.

That actually is awesome, just using an ipod to ignore the Jack Chick people. Honestly though, I wonder if they ever got in trouble regarding the shuttle ride to hand out more Chick Tracts.

Actually my Dad has seen the undercover subway cops write them tickets for not getting off the shuttle and harassing people with their booklets. You have to get off the shuttle. It's okay if you miss the stop or something, but if you just stay on and ride it all day, you get a ticket.

Regarding undercover cops, did the people handing out Chick tracts ever react badly to the officer, thinking they were like agents of Satan or something?

 

[littlebiscuits]

^
No, they handle it like adults. Sort of. They just use it as an opportunity to preach at the cops and whoever is around them about religious perception. They are truly the worst subway preachers too. The Jews for Jesus, the Mormons, The Scientologists - the Scientologists! - all behave infinitely better then they do.

They also crowded outside NY-ComicCon this year and last to hand out their glorious D+D comic. People loved it. They were lining up to get one.

 

[c-no]

^
No, they handle it like adults. Sort of. They just use it as an opportunity to preach at the cops and whoever is around them about religious perception. They are truly the worst subway preachers too. The Jews for Jesus, the Mormons, The Scientologists - the Scientologists! - all behave infinitely better then they do.

They also crowded outside NY-ComicCon this year and last to hand out their glorious D+D comic. People loved it. They were lining up to get one.

So they actually handled it in a mature manner? Huh, well it does make me wonder if there is that one guy of the group who thinks he is "on God's mission" and he thinks the cops really are agent's of Satan, but then again I'm sure that person would be seen even by the people giving out Chick tracts to be crazy.
As for the NY-ComicCon, they gave out a comic that people loved? Was it really a ploy to give out more Chick tracts?

 

[littlebiscuits]

^
No, they handle it like adults. Sort of. They just use it as an opportunity to preach at the cops and whoever is around them about religious perception. They are truly the worst subway preachers too. The Jews for Jesus, the Mormons, The Scientologists - the Scientologists! - all behave infinitely better then they do.

They also crowded outside NY-ComicCon this year and last to hand out their glorious D+D comic. People loved it. They were lining up to get one.

So they actually handled it in a mature manner? Huh, well it does make me wonder if there is that one guy of the group who thinks he is "on God's mission" and he thinks the cops really are agent's of Satan, but then again I'm sure that person would be seen even by the people giving out Chick tracts to be crazy.
As for the NY-ComicCon, they gave out a comic that people loved? Was it really a ploy to give out more Chick tracts?

Well, I don't think the Chickies understood that people only liked the D+D one ironically. Oh the best was when some very young homestuck cosplayers (gray face-paint and horns) came up and wanted a comic. They were probably around 13 or so, maybe younger, and they were with their mom. This one chickie looked right at the mom and screamed, "Rotten Oranges don't fall far from the tree of Satan."

That's not a real Bible quote. I've looked it up.