Creationists - Jack Chick, Kent Hovind, etc.

  • 🔧 At about Midnight EST I am going to completely fuck up the site trying to fix something.
My favorite Chick parody:

X8jeZW3.png

Original, "The Choice."
 
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  • Constantly judging others.
  • Noticing the mote in his brother's eye, never the beam in his own.
  • Always throwing the first "stone".
  • Badmouthing others for personal gain.
  • Hypocrisy.
  • Lying.
  • Deceiving.
  • etc...
St. Peter. Um -- your name is?

JC. Wait wait wait. Why is there an ugly catholic saint here and not a mighty puritan angel with great wings?

St. Peter. (Sigh.) Your name please?

JC. Jack T. Chick.

St. Peter. Um... wait... wait... just a sec... [leaving through an enormous volume] wait... just a minute... Charley, Chesterton, Chi -- here we are...? Um...? Chick, you said? As in delicious bird, or, alternatively, harlot? C-H-I-C-K? Let me see again... um, sorry. Your name does not appear.

JC. WHAT?? BUT!!!! I asked Jesus to be my Lord and Savior!! I AM SAVED! I pray every day!

St. Peter. While breaking a great number of commandments and disobeying the Lord constantly, yes.

JC. BUT! THIS DOES NOT MATTER! Works cannot save you, only asking Jesus for forgiveness! What are you, some dirty scumbag catholics?!

St. Peter. Well, yes, we are. I was actually the first pope. Christianity always was catholic up to the 16th century and even afterwards catholicism was the main deal, all this Luther and Calvin stuff was more of a hobby, I guess.

JC. BUT!!!! I MADE GREAT COMICS FOR THE LORD!!!

St. Peter. Which were racist, sexist, frightened children, told people fun was bad (the Lord doesn't dislike fun! Ever considered how popular carnival is in the countries which worship him most fervently?) -- etc. Sorry, Heaven's Gate won't open for you, my friend. [Pushes lever. A trapdoor flies open, JC goes down, screaming.]

St. Peter. [picks up phone] Hello? Satan? Yeah, this is St. Peter speaking. You know, today we have an extra big scumbag for you coming through. Just thought I'd give you a call so you might be prepared. The extra big cauldron above the lava pit? Yes, that sounds great. You wanna come over to play Bridge on Saturday? Yes, great. Bring Lucifer along; I'll bring Michael. Bye for now, I've got to fix the Lord's computer, he just got a brand new 7.5GHz 16-core Temple PC with 640x480x16 graphics and no sound card or network support -- yes, that's the recommended technology up here -- and He's still trying to figure out how to create a spreadsheet. Tech support will just constantly yell about CIA Niggers. So, bye-bye, I have to assist Him in His glory.
 
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friendlyatheist.patheos.com

Creationist Kent Hovind Sentenced to 30 Days in Jail for Domestic Violence

He's even worse than you thought.
friendlyatheist.patheos.com friendlyatheist.patheos.com
I mentioned last month that Creationist Kent Hovind had been accused of body-slamming his ex-girlfriend (and “spiritual”-only third wife). We knew that because Cindi Lincoln had filed for an order of protection against Hovind in an Alabama county court in which she laid out the details of what happened. It didn’t help that Hovind recorded the incident, presumably thinking it would make him look good. (It did not. That recording is extremely disturbing to hear.)


Around that time, we also learned that Hovind had been arrested on charges of domestic violence in the third degree. The affidavit, dated July 19, said Hovind injured Lincoln by “throwing her to the ground.”

Affidavit document. pic.twitter.com/ljcO7qe0Jt
— Robert Baty – Kent Hovind's Worst Nightmare (@BatyvHovind) August 4, 2021
Click to expand...
Hovind paid a $1,000 bond and was back at Dinosaur Adventure Land to record new livestreams. Without telling his audience about his own situation, he urged viewers to remember that everyone is innocent until proven guilty.

Funny thing about that: The line only works until you’re proven guilty.

On Tuesday, a judge ruled that Hovind is guilty.

Longtime Hovind watchdog and former IRS appeals officer Robert Baty got his hands on the relevant documents.

Here’s the bottom line:

  • Hovind was sentenced to one year in jail… but the judge will let him serve 30 days (in a county jail, beginning on October 18 at the latest) while being placed on a one-year “unsupervised probation.”
  • Hovind must also pay a $500 fine, court costs, a $100 bail bond fee, and $2,124.72 to cover Lincoln’s medical expenses.
  • Hovind is forbidden from having any contact with Lincoln or coming within 500 feet of her.
  • Hovind must surrender all his firearms to the Conecuh County Sheriff’s Office.
I repeat: Kent Hovind is going to jail for physically assaulting his ex-girlfriend.

It’s not his first time behind bars and it’s not even close to the first time he’s been in trouble with the law.

Interestingly enough, during Hovind’s livestream on Wednesday night, he didn’t mention anythingabout his predicament to his viewers.

Why does all this matter? As I’ve said before, Hovind has clout among Creationists and spends part of each day dissecting Bible verses on his YouTube channel while trying to brainwash people at his Dinosaur Adventure Land. He wants you to think that Christianity and purity and goodness and scientific integrity are all linked together. Yet he’s also a domestic abuser who will serve jail time for his crimes and that should be brought up whenever his name pops up.
 
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It appears Hovind has been getting in trouble over the last few years again. There have been multiple people making videos about his stuff.

Last year he was sentenced to 30 days in jail on a suspended 1 year sentence for domestic violence against his ex wife.
1672624097137.png

He attempted to represent himself and demand a jury trial signing his papers "Dr. Kent Hovind." Since he believes in strawman and sovereign stuff of course that was all a part of his videos on it. This is still ongoing due to him demanding a jury trial.

Now comes 2022:
  • He has a new wife.
    • This is both her and his 4th marriage and she has 7 children.
      • The 10 year old daughter lives with them.
      • He did an entire video kissing her while demeaning his ex wife.
    • It appears he has disowned or been disowned by his entire family.
  • He had his entire channel suspended and ban evaded under another account before making a new one.
    • Reason for the ban was a video he made stating the covid vaccine injects you with radioactive material that allows the government to use cameras that see UV light to see if you are vaccinated.
  • The health expert he always talks about died from covid not long after their video together about it not being real.
    • Hovind stated it was the government killing him due to it.
  • He broke his restraining order and admited it on youtube.
    • A new version exists now that is stricter. When asked if he was abused towards her he stated:
    • "I am capable of that, but I am saving it for a special occasion."
  • He had a TIA (mini stroke) on air.
  • His DV trial continues.
    • He made a video using the audio of it to do a skit with man dressed up like her on his channel.
  • Child went missing at Dinosaur Adventure Land.
  • Has at least two known high risk child sex offender working for and living at DAL who are both on their board of directors.
    • As far as Hovind is concerned there is no law that states a child sex offender can't be at his park around children including in bed with one. He states that law has no ruling over him that its his call.
      • "The real child abuser is people teaching evolution to children. That's the real child abuser. They are the real pedophiles."
    • First
      • This man has been convicted multiple times in multiple states.
        • Convicted of child sexual abuse with seven separate children with 21 separate offenses.
      • Hovind says its all to "railroad him" because he spoke out about the jails.
      • Multiple people left the compound due to finding out this man was there after the fact.
      • This man BROUGHT someone elses's 13-year old child to DAL and Hovind broadcast this.
        • Hovind made multiple videos about how it was fine that they were sleeping in the same bed.
        • He was later charged with grooming this child and his parents are suing him, Hovind and DAL.
    • Second
      • Known that he molested multiple family members as well as commiting incest, but not convicted yet.
  • Hovind was a known driver of a bus for a church he worked at that is currently being investigated because a dozen or so members were molesting children. The bus he drove was used to pick up children to be brought to the church to be molested.
    • Hovind has spoken out that his friends who worked there specifically the head pastor was wrongfully accused because of course it is always the governments fault.
  • There also is an allegation that Hovind would "give massages" and "teach massages" to young children.
  • He had cameras to film people in different areas and films his employees without there knowledge. He used this to blackmail a secretary that he caught cheating on her husband.
    • Hovind used this sex tape as revenge porn against her.

He now spends time with at least two known pedophile. One who he states wasn't doing anything wrong he was just playing strip poker with an 11 year old. It also came out that he employs and allows this child sex offender to reside at his park for several years now. He is also on his board of directors for DAL.
1672626755870.png


His wife now runs a youtube channel to warn Christians against him. His son Eric applauds Atheists for pointing out what Hovind is doing.

1672635267711.png


An entire documentary has also dropped about him:
 

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GenociderSyo said:
It appears Hovind has been getting in trouble over the last few years again. There have been multiple people making videos about his stuff.

Last year he was sentenced to 30 days in jail on a suspended 1 year sentence for domestic violence against his ex wife.
View attachment 4175137
He attempted to represent himself and demand a jury trial signing his papers "Dr. Kent Hovind." Since he believes in strawman and sovereign stuff of course that was all a part of his videos on it. This is still ongoing due to him demanding a jury trial.

Now comes 2022:
  • He has a new wife.
    • This is both her and his 4th marriage and she has 7 children.
      • The 10 year old daughter lives with them.
      • He did an entire video kissing her while demeaning his ex wife.
    • It appears he has disowned or been disowned by his entire family.
  • He had his entire channel suspended and ban evaded under another account before making a new one.
    • Reason for the ban was a video he made stating the covid vaccine injects you with radioactive material that allows the government to use cameras that see UV light to see if you are vaccinated.
  • The health expert he always talks about died from covid not long after their video together about it not being real.
    • Hovind stated it was the government killing him due to it.
  • He broke his restraining order and admited it on youtube.
    • A new version exists now that is stricter. When asked if he was abused towards her he stated:
    • "I am capable of that, but I am saving it for a special occasion."
  • He had a TIA (mini stroke) on air.
  • His DV trial continues.
    • He made a video using the audio of it to do a skit with man dressed up like her on his channel.
  • Child went missing at Dinosaur Adventure Land.
  • Has at least two known high risk child sex offender working for and living at DAL who are both on their board of directors.
    • As far as Hovind is concerned there is no law that states a child sex offender can't be at his park around children including in bed with one. He states that law has no ruling over him that its his call.
      • "The real child abuser is people teaching evolution to children. That's the real child abuser. They are the real pedophiles."
    • First
      • This man has been convicted multiple times in multiple states.
        • Convicted of child sexual abuse with seven separate children with 21 separate offenses.
      • Hovind says its all to "railroad him" because he spoke out about the jails.
      • Multiple people left the compound due to finding out this man was there after the fact.
      • This man BROUGHT someone elses's 13-year old child to DAL and Hovind broadcast this.
        • Hovind made multiple videos about how it was fine that they were sleeping in the same bed.
        • He was later charged with grooming this child and his parents are suing him, Hovind and DAL.
    • Second
      • Known that he molested multiple family members as well as commiting incest, but not convicted yet.
  • Hovind was a known driver of a bus for a church he worked at that is currently being investigated because a dozen or so members were molesting children. The bus he drove was used to pick up children to be brought to the church to be molested.
    • Hovind has spoken out that his friends who worked there specifically the head pastor was wrongfully accused because of course it is always the governments fault.
  • There also is an allegation that Hovind would "give massages" and "teach massages" to young children.
  • He had cameras to film people in different areas and films his employees without there knowledge. He used this to blackmail a secretary that he caught cheating on her husband.
    • Hovind used this sex tape as revenge porn against her.

He now spends time with at least two known pedophile. One who he states wasn't doing anything wrong he was just playing strip poker with an 11 year old. It also came out that he employs and allows this child sex offender to reside at his park for several years now. He is also on his board of directors for DAL.
View attachment 4175252

His wife now runs a youtube channel to warn Christians against him. His son Eric applauds Atheists for pointing out what Hovind is doing.

View attachment 4175766View attachment 4175811

An entire documentary has also dropped about him:
Click to expand...
did they seize his dr dino theme park?
 
GenociderSyo said:
It appears Hovind has been getting in trouble over the last few years again. There have been multiple people making videos about his stuff.

Last year he was sentenced to 30 days in jail on a suspended 1 year sentence for domestic violence against his ex wife.
View attachment 4175137
He attempted to represent himself and demand a jury trial signing his papers "Dr. Kent Hovind." Since he believes in strawman and sovereign stuff of course that was all a part of his videos on it. This is still ongoing due to him demanding a jury trial.

Now comes 2022:
  • He has a new wife.
    • This is both her and his 4th marriage and she has 7 children.
      • The 10 year old daughter lives with them.
      • He did an entire video kissing her while demeaning his ex wife.
    • It appears he has disowned or been disowned by his entire family.
  • He had his entire channel suspended and ban evaded under another account before making a new one.
    • Reason for the ban was a video he made stating the covid vaccine injects you with radioactive material that allows the government to use cameras that see UV light to see if you are vaccinated.
  • The health expert he always talks about died from covid not long after their video together about it not being real.
    • Hovind stated it was the government killing him due to it.
  • He broke his restraining order and admited it on youtube.
    • A new version exists now that is stricter. When asked if he was abused towards her he stated:
    • "I am capable of that, but I am saving it for a special occasion."
  • He had a TIA (mini stroke) on air.
  • His DV trial continues.
    • He made a video using the audio of it to do a skit with man dressed up like her on his channel.
  • Child went missing at Dinosaur Adventure Land.
  • Has at least two known high risk child sex offender working for and living at DAL who are both on their board of directors.
    • As far as Hovind is concerned there is no law that states a child sex offender can't be at his park around children including in bed with one. He states that law has no ruling over him that its his call.
      • "The real child abuser is people teaching evolution to children. That's the real child abuser. They are the real pedophiles."
    • First
      • This man has been convicted multiple times in multiple states.
        • Convicted of child sexual abuse with seven separate children with 21 separate offenses.
      • Hovind says its all to "railroad him" because he spoke out about the jails.
      • Multiple people left the compound due to finding out this man was there after the fact.
      • This man BROUGHT someone elses's 13-year old child to DAL and Hovind broadcast this.
        • Hovind made multiple videos about how it was fine that they were sleeping in the same bed.
        • He was later charged with grooming this child and his parents are suing him, Hovind and DAL.
    • Second
      • Known that he molested multiple family members as well as commiting incest, but not convicted yet.
  • Hovind was a known driver of a bus for a church he worked at that is currently being investigated because a dozen or so members were molesting children. The bus he drove was used to pick up children to be brought to the church to be molested.
    • Hovind has spoken out that his friends who worked there specifically the head pastor was wrongfully accused because of course it is always the governments fault.
  • There also is an allegation that Hovind would "give massages" and "teach massages" to young children.
  • He had cameras to film people in different areas and films his employees without there knowledge. He used this to blackmail a secretary that he caught cheating on her husband.
    • Hovind used this sex tape as revenge porn against her.

He now spends time with at least two known pedophile. One who he states wasn't doing anything wrong he was just playing strip poker with an 11 year old. It also came out that he employs and allows this child sex offender to reside at his park for several years now. He is also on his board of directors for DAL.
View attachment 4175252

His wife now runs a youtube channel to warn Christians against him. His son Eric applauds Atheists for pointing out what Hovind is doing.

View attachment 4175766View attachment 4175811

An entire documentary has also dropped about him:
Click to expand...
>His son Eric applauds Atheists for pointing out what Hovind is doing.
Good God I hate atheist redditor rationale like this shit. "oh you Christians couldn't possibly support beheading kiddie diddlers because your pope covered it up!" Despite all the abundance of pedophiles in every religion including modern atheism.
Fuck man I just hate this shit because it's just so basic and thoughtless.
 
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Man I miss creatards. They were much funnier than dangerhairs, troons and nigger grifters (especially because they weren't sponsored by the establishment and you could make fun of them without ripercussions). Kent Hovind isn't even the most skitzo among them. That prize would probably go to "dr" Carl Baugh, a guy so insane that fellow crearionists disown him.
 
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I had heard about some of those Kent Hovind allegations, but damn, I didn't know it was so bad. I miss back when the worst thing he did was defraud the government. Dr. Dino should've stuck with that and writing schitzo shit about Jupiter rocks disproving evolution or whatever instead of making a Christian-flavored sovcit pedo compound. It's pretty astounding how much he's fallen since 15-20 years ago he was associated with a lot of influential fundies like the Pensacola Christian College founders and now he's an absolute pariah.
 
Save the Loli said:
I had heard about some of those Kent Hovind allegations, but damn, I didn't know it was so bad. I miss back when the worst thing he did was defraud the government. Dr. Dino should've stuck with that and writing schitzo shit about Jupiter rocks disproving evolution or whatever instead of making a Christian-flavored sovcit pedo compound. It's pretty astounding how much he's fallen since 15-20 years ago he was associated with a lot of influential fundies like the Pensacola Christian College founders and now he's an absolute pariah.
Click to expand...
Implying there was anything to fall from.
 
GenociderSyo said:
Child went missing at Dinosaur Adventure Land.
Click to expand...
Oooooo, this ain't good...
GenociderSyo said:
Hovind was a known driver of a bus for a church he worked at that is currently being investigated because a dozen or so members were molesting children.
Click to expand...
Oooooooooh, this REALLY ain't good...
GenociderSyo said:
There also is an allegation that Hovind would "give massages" and "teach massages" to young children.
Click to expand...
Crex Crex said:
Man I miss creatards. They were much funnier than dangerhairs, troons and nigger grifters (especially because they weren't sponsored by the establishment and you could make fun of them without ripercussions). Kent Hovind isn't even the most skitzo among them. That prize would probably go to "dr" Carl Baugh, a guy so insane that fellow crearionists disown him.
Click to expand...
Oh lawd, you haven't seen the new crop of these guys. Start with Hans Wormhat.
 
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Save the Loli said:
I had heard about some of those Kent Hovind allegations, but damn, I didn't know it was so bad. I miss back when the worst thing he did was defraud the government. Dr. Dino should've stuck with that and writing schitzo shit about Jupiter rocks disproving evolution or whatever instead of making a Christian-flavored sovcit pedo compound. It's pretty astounding how much he's fallen since 15-20 years ago he was associated with a lot of influential fundies like the Pensacola Christian College founders and now he's an absolute pariah.
Click to expand...
If I recall correctly, he was already disliked by the Answers in Genesis people for making creationists look bad when the New Atheist stuff was going on, so he's really outdoing himself now.
 
Bruh I stopped paying attention to Hovind back when he first went to jail in the freaking bush administration and now I find he has reemerged as an honest to god HorrorCow in the making?!

I mean.....im not exactly shocked given how skeevy he was back in the day but I am honestly disappointed that he couldnt limit himself to being a retarded grifter of retarded retards like most other creationist demagogues.
 
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GenociderSyo said:
He had cameras to film people in different areas and films his employees without there knowledge. He used this to blackmail a secretary that he caught cheating on her husband.
  • Hovind used this sex tape as revenge porn against her.
Click to expand...
I'm going to bet the missing Child will be on one of these tapes
 
God this takes me back.... I remember finding my first Chick Tract in an arcade as a kid. I found about a dozen total from middle school to college in different spots and always kept them because they were so weird and funny. I might even have them somewhere still.... and its been over 20 years. In 2020 I saw one on the ground by a lighthouse at a beach. I autistically zoomed in on it and held it up like a trophy to my friends but they had never heard of or seen them before. I always wondered if the people who dropped them stayed and watched to see who would pick them up and what they would do with them, since I only ever saw a single tract set on the ground at a time in high foot traffic areas. The weird retro writing style and the artwork (which i actually kind of like) always amused me and I look forward to the day I find another one.

On an unrelated note, does anybody here actually draw comic art for a living/hobby and can tell me how much time it would take to make the art for one of these tracts? I assume they re-use some of the characters, but I have an idea for a homemade tract as gift for my sister referencing some non-religious jokes between us and I wonder how much it would cost to commission the art, and who to find an artist to do it?
 
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