Creationists - Jack Chick, Kent Hovind, etc.

[AnOminous]

This is actually pretty common in fundamentalist circles. They like to pretend they are a horribly oppressed minority group and the only light in a dark world of corruption and sin rather than the dominant religion. Of course they define oppression as "Not getting my way at all times."

This is how Bill O'Reilly can go in front of his audience of mongoloids every year and rant about a "War on Christmas."

You know, because Christmas is really unpopular. Nobody likes it at all.

 

[Ca Ira]

Tales from El Valle Inquietante.

 

[shinimasu]

Here's something that I don't understand, not being from the US. Why is catholicism 'less Christian'?

Basically it comes down to the belief that protestantism is a more pure form of christianity than catholocism because it eschews the ritual trappings in favor of a purely spiritual approach to religion. That's why they put such a big emphasis on being saved through faith and faith alone, with no need for priests or sacraments. In their minds believing in Jesus is enough and if you feel the need to, I dunno actually atone for your shit, then you just don't believe in jesus hard enough to believe he'd save you so you're destined for hell.

It's a bit of circular logic.
"I believe in jesus as my personal savior. Jesus forgives sins. Since I believe in Jesus he forgives my sins. Since my sins are forgiven I have no need to atone and do penance. People who do those things then must not believe in Jesus as much as I do."

Most protestants would still admit that believing in jesus doesn't give you carte blanche to be a dick. But if you go far enough down the rabbit hole you get nuts who proclaim themselves to be literally without sin because since they're saved it means they're incapable of sinning and everything they do is justified.

 

[A-№1]

You know, I'm starting to wonder if Jack Chick isn't actually an extreme atheist anti-religious type who's trying to make Christians look like moronic douchebags.

I've always kind of wondered if ol' Batshit Jack Chick isn't himself so far in the closet he's three time zones out the other side of Narnia. I mean look at how much loving detail he puts into his scenes of homosexuality.

Also isn't that the old Dungeons and Dragons Player's Handbook there in the background? Since this is supposed to be Sodom you'd think it would be Ba'al Hammon or Ashera or suchlike. Leave it to a hack like Jack Chick to do his "research" from old D&D rulebooks.

They like to pretend they are a horribly oppressed minority group

It's worse than that. They see other Christians being oppressed in the world and try to pretend they have some association with those oppressed people and therefore qualify as "oppressed" themselves, when in reality they'd be the first to oppress those other Christians themselves for being the "wrong sort of Christian".

 

[Hat]

I've always kind of wondered if ol' Batshit Jack Chick isn't himself so far in the closet he's three time zones out the other side of Narnia. I mean look at how much loving detail he puts into his scenes of homosexuality.

That's not Chick's art.

 

[A-№1]

That's not Chick's art.

True, because Jack Chick himself isn't much of an artist. But it is out of a Chick Tract, and I believe Jack maintains creative control over everything that goes out under his name, so can't you just see him leaning over the roughs pending final approval and muttering, "Make 'em sweatier…" while wiping a little spittle from his chin, then spending an hour or so in his private office 'purging sinful thoughts'.

My point is clearly the man has some issues, and being a closet case in denial would explain soooo much.

 

[Hat]

My point is clearly the man has some issues, and being a closet case in denial would explain soooo much.

I doubt it, frankly. If the Chick Tracts were nothing but this, I'd see where you're coming from, but the ratio of tracts about the gays to tracts about conspiracy theories is about 1:12. I reckon Chick's too senile/lazy to even notice the bizarrely homoerotic images anyway.

 

[A-№1]

If the Chick Tracts were nothing but this, I'd see where you're coming from, but the ratio of tracts about the gays to tracts about conspiracy theories is about 1:12.

Oh I'm not saying that being closeted is his only problem.

I reckon Chick's too senile/lazy to even notice the bizarrely homoerotic images anyway.

But he wasn't always old and presumably senile. He's been doing this stuff since at least the '60s (though I think the '90s were the Golden Age of Chick Tracts). Also I tend to think that Chick Publications attracts the sort of employees who themselves are a melange of different dysfunctions. Doubtless the enterprise has more nuts than a squirrel convention.

 

[Mrs Paul]

These same idiots though would probably be the first to announce the actual Jesus, since he was like, this long-haired hippie dude who was always talking about giving to the poor and the mistreated. (Like the nutjobs at Free Republic who think the Pope is a commie. BTW, are the Freepers lolcows?)

 

[MayMay]

This is actually pretty common in fundamentalist circles. They like to pretend they are a horribly oppressed minority group and the only light in a dark world of corruption and sin rather than the dominant religion. Of course they define oppression as "Not getting my way at all times."

Eh, it's a pretty common trend amongst just about anyone looking to instill a tyrannical regime: find someone to blame for oppression (even if not even slightly oppressed at all) just tap into the inner victim-complex and viola, you can get them to hate anyone.

Also, @Mrs Paul it's not quite like that. There are those who have heard of Jesus and will immediately go into maximum tard rage at the mere mention of the word "bible" as if you told them their mother was a crackwhore, in the middle of their mother's funeral. Always screeching "BIGOT!" before the perfect little angel of god even has a chance to be bigoted (which being a Chick character, they will.)

EDIT:

Remember kids, Jack Chick sez it's perfectly okay to whore out your daughters to be gang raped by an entire town. Just as long as it's not homogay. And yeah, Lot is meant to be the good guy.

 

[Splendid]

BTW, are the Freepers lolcows?

Yeah, I'd say so.

 

[RecordStoreToughGuy]

And my 3rd favorite Chick tract is the one with the "Satan Jugend" type little shitmonster. It's like Jack poured every single hate he had about kids into this horrid little caricature.

http://www.chick.com/reading/tracts/0094/0094_01.asp
(go ahead. Give Jack the click traffic. You know you want to)

Spoiler: Dat Face

When ya nut but ya girl keep suckin

 

[AnOminous]

Basically it comes down to the belief that protestantism is a more pure form of christianity than catholocism because it eschews the ritual trappings in favor of a purely spiritual approach to religion.

Protestantism has no apostolic succession from Peter on down, so fuck those heretics.

 

[MayMay]

But weren't them evil liberal witches the ones claiming you should love animals? I dunno, I remember it was mostly the fundies that got all up in arms at the idea that we came from and essentially are animals with the vitriol of a klansman with a black great-grandfather...

 

[A-№1]

These same idiots though would probably be the first to announce the actual Jesus, since he was like, this long-haired hippie dude who was always talking about giving to the poor and the mistreated.

Did you mean to say "denounce" instead of "announce"? Because that seems to make more sense from what we know of Chick Publications.

Also I'm reminded of a certain comic about the differences between Jesus and Fundamentalist Jeezus.

Spoiler

Remember kids, Jack Chick sez it's perfectly okay to whore out your daughters to be gang raped by an entire town. Just as long as it's not homogay. And yeah, Lot is meant to be the good guy.

IIRC those same daughters went on to get Lot, their dad, drunk so they could fuck him. Seems to me their time in Sodom was, well, educational. And Chick is just fine with that too, so I guess even incest is "OK if it's not gay".

I wonder if these people ever bother to sit down, take a minute or two, and actually read their bible.

 

[RecordStoreToughGuy]

Not to mention that the Sodomites' fuckup wasn't ultimately sexual. They were violating guest right, which was a big fucking thing back then. They were just violating it in one of the most fucked-up ways possible, so that's what modern puritanical readers get hung up on.

 

[Jomadre]

Forgive me if this has been posted before, but someone made a movie based from Dark Dungeons. Jack Chick literally gave them the rights to do this.

 

[MayMay]

Forgive me if this has been posted before, but someone made a movie based from Dark Dungeons. Jack Chick literally gave them the rights to do this.

... Should I be ashamed I caught the Mazes and Monsters reference? 'Cause Dark Dungeons is a far out game...

 

[Abethedemon]

https://www.chick.com/reading/tracts/5012/5012_01.asp
This one's really good. It has everything that makes Chick great.

 

[Commodore B.S.]

@Abethedemon

Is it just me or does uncle bob look like Vincent Price?