Cringiest Fedora "Religion?" - Because "I don't believe in God" isn't speshul enough

[Sped Xing]

Vote, and be destroyed (guys remember Emperor's New Groove?)

 

[666DEATHGAY]

Add paganism larpers

 

[RetardedCat]

Satanism is the faggiest shit I've seen

 

[ShittyRecolor]

No church of the Invisible Pink Unicorn?

 

[Lone MacReady]

Considering some would probably want Harry Potter to be canonized as a religion..

 

[Dom Cruise]

Always thought Flying Spaghetti Monster was a stupid bit of "satire"

 

[Sped Xing]

Add paganism larpers

I forget there are "pagans" who aren't just people who like Bagpipes and drums a lot. Added.

 

[Shaved Kiwis]

Considering some would probably want Harry Potter to be canonized as a religion..

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I never got into Harry Potter as a kid because even back then I knew that warlocks and witches were supposed to be all vile and Satanic not some goofy kids. But getting back to the main topic at hand I've been like half of these at one point or another. Most of them are pretty fucking awful so I don't think I can pick just one.

I forget there are "pagans" who aren't just people who like Bagpipes and drums a lot. Added.

Don't pretty much all pagans fall into one of two categories? The hippie dippie granola earth mother types and the "Christianity is a ZOG trick" lets get back to our unjewed pagan roots types.

 

[drtoboggan]

Wicca is incredibly gay and unrealistic.

 

[Sped Xing]

Don't pretty much all pagans fall into one of two categories? The hippie dippie granola earth mother types and the "Christianity is a ZOG trick" lets get back to our unjewed pagan roots types.

A while back I had one of my facebook friends ask me to teach them more about Tengriism, because I shared a bunch of Mongol Metal videos

As much as I enjoy me some throat singing and horsehead fiddle, I'm not about to start lobotomizing my way to believing that the number 40 is magic and huffing hash makes you see God

 

[The Manglement]

It's not on the list, but I've always found the cringiest brand of atheism to be Ancient Aliens people, who don't believe in god, but aren't smart enough to admit that maybe it was just made up. I seriously saw that guy with the terrible hair on History Channel once try to argue that it was ridiculous that Thor could be a god, but he obviously must have existed because people told stories about him, so he must be an alien.

Also, please tell me that there are people who believe Chakats are real.

 

[teriyakiburns]

Always thought Flying Spaghetti Monster was a stupid bit of "satire"

It's not a bad satire of religion in itself. The retardation started when it became something people actually followed unironically.

 

[Sīn the Moon Daddy]

A while back I had one of my facebook friends ask me to teach them more about Tengriism, because I shared a bunch of Mongol Metal videos

As much as I enjoy me some throat singing and horsehead fiddle, I'm not about to start lobotomizing my way to believing that the number 40 is magic and huffing hash makes you see God

The number 30 is magic and it's mushrooms. Also I may have been possessed during the experience and for several years afterwards.

 

[Rand /pol/]

Christianity. Imagine being a Swede or a Korean or a Slav and worshipping an offshoot branch of a Canaanite war deity's religion.

 

[Poiseon]

It's not on the list, but I've always found the cringiest brand of atheism to be Ancient Aliens people, who don't believe in god, but aren't smart enough to admit that maybe it was just made up. I seriously saw that guy with the terrible hair on History Channel once try to argue that it was ridiculous that Thor could be a god, but he obviously must have existed because people told stories about him, so he must be an alien.

Also, please tell me that there are people who believe Chakats are real.

This right here. The Ancient Aliens faggots. most annoying fucks on the planets, even beating out a lot of SjWs.

"But How did dey make da pieramids without alien tech, hur dur dur. We can't even do it with cranes today!!!"

As a close second, the SJWs faux religion as a whole.

 

[Emperor Julian]

those video game spirit guys from the FF7 house.

 

[ConfederateIrishman]

A while back I had one of my facebook friends ask me to teach them more about Tengriism, because I shared a bunch of Mongol Metal videos

As much as I enjoy me some throat singing and horsehead fiddle, I'm not about to start lobotomizing my way to believing that the number 40 is magic and huffing hash makes you see God

At least Tengrism had a small amount of followers in Mongolia never leave it, which like Zoroastrainism immediately makes me take it way more seriously than these pagan "revivals" where they just make shit up then try to claim the heritage of two millenia dead ancestors who they are probably inadvertently insulting by doing so

 

[Sped Xing]

Chris Helmsworth is my Lord and Savior

 

[Queen Elizabeth II]

"I'm a fifty year old white woman who's just gotten divorced and entered a mid-life crisis, a gay man who needs to feel extra special or a teenage girl with no freinds; this is the perfect time to realise I'm actually the chosen Prophetess of [Insert Celtic, Greek or Egyptian female deity here] and have magick powers"

I find the consistency of Wiccans both entertaining and depressing.

 

[The Skeptical Tomato X5]

Esoteric Hitlerism

a.k.a Hinduism but heaps racist aye