- Joined
- Oct 20, 2014
CK2 is a game about stories. It's a RNG that spins out a story of love, life and death in a feudal Europe. Recently I've been playing the After The End mod which shifts the setting to a post apocalyptic North America. I was browsing the map when I saw that charlottesville is a starter province- I decided that rather than embark on the usual course of world domination I'd role Chris-Chan and see how the mayor of Cwcville would handle the in game engine. So I abandoned my technology-worshipping detroit based merchant empire and restarted as Count Christian Weston Chandler.
On the first try he was assainated within three months- quickest game over I've ever had and the only score of <0 I've ever got in CK2.
I re-rolled and thought I'd share the resulting adventure with you kiwis.
It is the 4th of July 2666 and a freak plague has resulted in a young virgin with rage from an infamous house inheriting the county of Charlottesville. Y'all should know me by now...
Please understand I am a high functioning autistic male from ruckersville virginia.
This is Count Christian Lord of Charlottesville, he's 16 because the ruler designer wouldn't let me increase his age after adding those traits. I had set all his stats to the default 5 the resulting low stats you see are the result of the effects of the traits. I used homosexual to try and compensate for the tomgirl thing- I know its not at all the same but i thought the reactions of the feudal world would be similiar, as you will see I was wrong.
4 July 2666, Our new Lord Count Christian has taken the rulership of charlottesville, Slanderous trolls are saying the count is lustful, lazy, gluttonous, slow, possessed, greedy, ugly, arbitary and a coward but I have sought to block out such slanderous rumors.
The count's first order was to find him a 'sweetheart from the ground up' I explained to the count that I am just a chronicler and have never been ,ore than a few miles from charlottesville. I recommended he appoint a counsel to help him. The count called me a typical brute male.
5 July 2666, Lord Chris Chan is insisting we refer to him as mayor- I tried to explain he is a count not a mayor but he threatened me with a curse ye hami ha if i didn't stop 'trolling'. I don't know what that is but i presume it is some kind of pre event magic. Truly Lord Christian is wise.
6 July 2666, Lord chris had a thunderous arguement with his vassel Judge Armistead. The Judge was insisting that Count Chris appoint the rest of the cabinet. The count let out a long sigh and said he was 'working on it' I pointed out that a cabinet would likely be able to help him on his 'lovequest' and to protect him against trolls. Chis asked if they were like the chaotic combo. I do not know what the wise count was referring to but i said yes, I pray lincoln forgives me.
7 July 2666, the count has appointed a council! oh happy day:
The count used the unorthodox strategy of appointing people based on how much he liked them rather than their ability. Sadly they do not seem to be returining my lords generousity, he honoured them with the title of 'typical male' which is far greater than that of 'troll' that he has given me.
I overheard The secretary of state trying to explain the local political situation:
Charlottesville is a county in the Duchy of the PVCC:
There are four other counties, two to the north owned by Count Cameron of Culpepper and one to the west ruled by Count Wallace of Rappahannock. The southern county is the duchy capital of 'the James' ruled by Duke James our liege. At this point Count Chris started asking questions about a 'mary lee walsh'. Secrettary George Bannister assured the Count that PVCC is currently ruled by Duke James.
To our north is the Potomac seat of our religious head the President of the united states- Attorney general Judge Armistead explained that as Americanists we follow the proud tradition of worshipping our past presidents as the great american's of old did as evidenced by the many idols of them they left behind. The potiomac is important because it guards our northern flank from the Amish Deitscherei who have longsince abandoned their non violent ethos. To our south is the massive Holy Columbian Confederation, bastion of evangelical christianity and ruled byt the great Kaiser. the minor states to the west and east are americanisits like us, the mountains to our west were badly damaged by whatever it was that destroyed the world and are impassible. Beyond the mountains are the revelationsist and rust cultists.
Having been informed of the state of the world Lord Chris orders his secretary of state to find him an attractive adult white female to make his sweetheart while he orders his Man in Black to start rooting out trolls in charlottesville. Frederick Ruckersville the secretary of the treasury is sent out to raise a tugboat by taxing tobacky. Ruckersville suggests taking out a loan if he seriously needs the money.
I am sure Our lord Chris will have a better grasp of his finances than his politics!There is no way this could go wrong.
3rd September 2666 Our Lord has been increasingly dejected in the past few months. Every delegation sent to attractive young ladies has returned with a polite refusal. Count Chris has begun lamenting the 'infinately high boyfriend factor' has taken to wondering round the courtith an attraction sign.
18 October 2666
A message on carrier pigeon from a 'Lord Clyde of cash' has arrived and informed lord chris that as count he can arrange marriages with his courtiers.
Loudly lamented that all his court were men- I regret pointing out Lady peach to him. Apparently our americanist wigs were confusing him- He blamed his 'autism'. I presume autism is a royal gift like the cure for scrofula.
Proclamation of 19 October:
On this day let it be known that Thee Count Christian Weston Chandler is to be married to Lady Peach of the Court. A royal duty will be levied in celebration!
My lady did not seem happy with her new husband- I cannot fathom why, I distictly heard him refer to her as his sweetestbolt and he conferred upon her the honour of both regent (or mother as he called it) and court musician.
I wonder if perhaps our lord might be having an affair? i recently heard him speak most tenderly about a girl named chrystal. I do not know who this could be but I presume it must be a lover? I mean what else could he be referring too?
On the first try he was assainated within three months- quickest game over I've ever had and the only score of <0 I've ever got in CK2.
I re-rolled and thought I'd share the resulting adventure with you kiwis.
FAQ
Tyce, What is this?
An aar is a report or a story coming from a strategy game where the player attempts to weave a narrative from the situations the game presents you with. With a game like ck2 the narrative naturally happens and the player doesn't have to do much by way of invention.
That sounds chronically Autistic?
Yeah I was debating posting this in the inner circle.
How can you get chris in the game?
There is a ruler designer that covers almost everything barr his tomgirl stuff.
What will you do if/when Chris dies?
play as his children. who will be named after other lolcows/sonichu characters.
will you be playing Ironman mode?
No. I want to be able to root around in the console to rename characters and countries as needed. But nonetheless no save scumming.
I like ck2, can I have a turn?
sure happy to use the save in a multiplayer or pass on for a succession
Tyce, What is this?
An aar is a report or a story coming from a strategy game where the player attempts to weave a narrative from the situations the game presents you with. With a game like ck2 the narrative naturally happens and the player doesn't have to do much by way of invention.
That sounds chronically Autistic?
Yeah I was debating posting this in the inner circle.
How can you get chris in the game?
There is a ruler designer that covers almost everything barr his tomgirl stuff.
What will you do if/when Chris dies?
play as his children. who will be named after other lolcows/sonichu characters.
will you be playing Ironman mode?
No. I want to be able to root around in the console to rename characters and countries as needed. But nonetheless no save scumming.
I like ck2, can I have a turn?
sure happy to use the save in a multiplayer or pass on for a succession
Intro:
The year is 2666. Over 600 years since the world learned the horrific answer to that oft mocked question, since the event that destroyed civilisation as we knew it. Though a thousand spergs had asked 'what will Chris do when Barb dies?' none had imagined the answer. people living in the ruins of the east coast still worship eldritch abominations, the west remains an inhospitable desolation, to the borders of which are home to atomist tribes worshipping the invisible poison. But this is not the story of those days, this is not the story of the question or its answer. This is what happened after. After the End.
The year is 2666. Over 600 years since the world learned the horrific answer to that oft mocked question, since the event that destroyed civilisation as we knew it. Though a thousand spergs had asked 'what will Chris do when Barb dies?' none had imagined the answer. people living in the ruins of the east coast still worship eldritch abominations, the west remains an inhospitable desolation, to the borders of which are home to atomist tribes worshipping the invisible poison. But this is not the story of those days, this is not the story of the question or its answer. This is what happened after. After the End.
It is the 4th of July 2666 and a freak plague has resulted in a young virgin with rage from an infamous house inheriting the county of Charlottesville. Y'all should know me by now...
The state of the world:
Please understand I am a high functioning autistic male from ruckersville virginia.
This is Count Christian Lord of Charlottesville, he's 16 because the ruler designer wouldn't let me increase his age after adding those traits. I had set all his stats to the default 5 the resulting low stats you see are the result of the effects of the traits. I used homosexual to try and compensate for the tomgirl thing- I know its not at all the same but i thought the reactions of the feudal world would be similiar, as you will see I was wrong.
4 July 2666, Our new Lord Count Christian has taken the rulership of charlottesville, Slanderous trolls are saying the count is lustful, lazy, gluttonous, slow, possessed, greedy, ugly, arbitary and a coward but I have sought to block out such slanderous rumors.
The count's first order was to find him a 'sweetheart from the ground up' I explained to the count that I am just a chronicler and have never been ,ore than a few miles from charlottesville. I recommended he appoint a counsel to help him. The count called me a typical brute male.
5 July 2666, Lord Chris Chan is insisting we refer to him as mayor- I tried to explain he is a count not a mayor but he threatened me with a curse ye hami ha if i didn't stop 'trolling'. I don't know what that is but i presume it is some kind of pre event magic. Truly Lord Christian is wise.
6 July 2666, Lord chris had a thunderous arguement with his vassel Judge Armistead. The Judge was insisting that Count Chris appoint the rest of the cabinet. The count let out a long sigh and said he was 'working on it' I pointed out that a cabinet would likely be able to help him on his 'lovequest' and to protect him against trolls. Chis asked if they were like the chaotic combo. I do not know what the wise count was referring to but i said yes, I pray lincoln forgives me.
7 July 2666, the count has appointed a council! oh happy day:
The count used the unorthodox strategy of appointing people based on how much he liked them rather than their ability. Sadly they do not seem to be returining my lords generousity, he honoured them with the title of 'typical male' which is far greater than that of 'troll' that he has given me.
I overheard The secretary of state trying to explain the local political situation:
Charlottesville is a county in the Duchy of the PVCC:
There are four other counties, two to the north owned by Count Cameron of Culpepper and one to the west ruled by Count Wallace of Rappahannock. The southern county is the duchy capital of 'the James' ruled by Duke James our liege. At this point Count Chris started asking questions about a 'mary lee walsh'. Secrettary George Bannister assured the Count that PVCC is currently ruled by Duke James.
To our north is the Potomac seat of our religious head the President of the united states- Attorney general Judge Armistead explained that as Americanists we follow the proud tradition of worshipping our past presidents as the great american's of old did as evidenced by the many idols of them they left behind. The potiomac is important because it guards our northern flank from the Amish Deitscherei who have longsince abandoned their non violent ethos. To our south is the massive Holy Columbian Confederation, bastion of evangelical christianity and ruled byt the great Kaiser. the minor states to the west and east are americanisits like us, the mountains to our west were badly damaged by whatever it was that destroyed the world and are impassible. Beyond the mountains are the revelationsist and rust cultists.
Having been informed of the state of the world Lord Chris orders his secretary of state to find him an attractive adult white female to make his sweetheart while he orders his Man in Black to start rooting out trolls in charlottesville. Frederick Ruckersville the secretary of the treasury is sent out to raise a tugboat by taxing tobacky. Ruckersville suggests taking out a loan if he seriously needs the money.
I am sure Our lord Chris will have a better grasp of his finances than his politics!There is no way this could go wrong.
3rd September 2666 Our Lord has been increasingly dejected in the past few months. Every delegation sent to attractive young ladies has returned with a polite refusal. Count Chris has begun lamenting the 'infinately high boyfriend factor' has taken to wondering round the courtith an attraction sign.
18 October 2666
A message on carrier pigeon from a 'Lord Clyde of cash' has arrived and informed lord chris that as count he can arrange marriages with his courtiers.
Loudly lamented that all his court were men- I regret pointing out Lady peach to him. Apparently our americanist wigs were confusing him- He blamed his 'autism'. I presume autism is a royal gift like the cure for scrofula.
Proclamation of 19 October:
On this day let it be known that Thee Count Christian Weston Chandler is to be married to Lady Peach of the Court. A royal duty will be levied in celebration!
My lady did not seem happy with her new husband- I cannot fathom why, I distictly heard him refer to her as his sweetestbolt and he conferred upon her the honour of both regent (or mother as he called it) and court musician.
I wonder if perhaps our lord might be having an affair? i recently heard him speak most tenderly about a girl named chrystal. I do not know who this could be but I presume it must be a lover? I mean what else could he be referring too?
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