CWC jokes

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The Grand Old Duck of York.

Oh, the Grand Old Duck of York,
Chris had too much semen;
He climbed right up to the top of his bed,
And he fantasized women.

And when it was up, it was up,
And when it was down, it was down,
And when it was only half-way up,
Christian sighed and gave a frown.
 
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Why does Chris dislike Greeks?
The men dance arm-in-arm.
The Spartans in "300" refused to wear man-ssieres.
Unlike him, after enjoying a meal with his girlfriend, a Greek gets to bust her fine china.
 
What did the proctologist tell Chris after he inadvertently sat on his anime figurines?
"It appears you've got a little Chun-Li inside you after all!"

What's the difference between Chris and the phosphate-rich island of Nauru?
Nauru's claim to fame is its birdie-crapped reefs, while Chris' is his DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS,

What do you call Chris' penis inside a can of Fanta? (Yes, I know it's too easy.)
Duck a l'Orange.

Why won't Chris drink Canadian whole-fat milk?
All the cartons are labeled "HOMO".

Why was Chris disappointed at C-Span's coverage of a filibuster?
He was expecting someone to screw a pony.
(I kinda had to reach for that one.)

How does Chris prove he went on a luxurious ocean cruise?
He cuts out a drawing of himself, glues it on a photo of the Queen Mary, and tacks it onto a world map.
How do you refute his claim?
Point out that his ship is "afloat" on Brazil.
 
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Who needs to stop making shitty jokes?

FactorVIII

Get off the stage A-Log
You already failed at your stand-up act once
 

Barby and the Bob

Bob: Say, honey. Whaddya wanna do tonight?
Barbara (sighing): Same thing we do every night, Bob. Try to take over the GAMe PLACe!

They're Barby and the Bob
Yes, Barby and the Bob
One's an engineer
The other's a slob
They are not very nice
You better think twice

With lardy,
It's Barby and the Bob, Bob, Bob, Bob
Bob, Bob, Bob, Bob
Bob.

Beyond their unmowed lawn
Their horde will be unfurled
By the dawning of the sun
They'll be trolled by the world

They're Barby and the Bob
Yes, Barby and the Bob
The size of their brains
Are miniature planes
To show their senile mirth
They'll entertain the Earth

They're lardy,
It's Barby and the Bob, Bob, Bob, Bob
Bob, Bob, Bob, Bob
*FART!*
 
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Back in high school, Chris was assigned with a few students to perform a group experiment during physics class. The physics teacher spoke to one of the students about Chris.

"Has Chris ever done an experiment like this before?" he asked.

One of the students replied:

"Well, he once took three thousand volts directly through his butt cheeks without ever flinching."

The teacher gasped. "My God. Didn't he defecate himself?"

The student replied:

"He already did before it happened!"
 
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This is about another lolcow, but hope you still like it:

What would TJ Church's nickname be if he started writing shitty songs about video games?

Dental Gross
 
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