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AlmightyMagichan said:
Never thought about it, but Chris must have had a thing for basketball at one point. He made Bionic, and he was the waterboy meaning he must have wanted to be on the actual team. Wonder if Michael Jordon got to him, I remember loving that guy when I was a kid.
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He had a brief love affair with Robert Parish as a kid. He still bears the scars, literally.
 
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AlmightyMagichan said:
Never thought about it, but Chris must have had a thing for basketball at one point. He made Bionic, and he was the waterboy meaning he must have wanted to be on the actual team. Wonder if Michael Jordon got to him, I remember loving that guy when I was a kid.
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Maybe he saw Space Jam? Or did that predate his becoming a water boy?

Too bad for Chris he wasn't born a few years later. They probably would have let him play in the final game of the season for the last few minutes or so.
 
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Basketball involves physical activity. Even as a child, there's nothing to suggest Chris would rather run and play than sit at a table with Lego and Transformers. Not to say that he didn't play like a normal kid, but history is not on the side of Chris being normal.

I tend to think Chris was recruited by a member of the faculty. It's possible that Chris's participation in PE class was so pathetic, that making him the waterboy was the best way of getting him to pass the state guidelines for PE without having to actually be athletic. Bionic came AFTER that, and was more about Chris's INVOLVEMENT with basketball than basketball itself.

This is ALL speculation, but I think I'm on pretty solid ground.
 
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MysticMisty said:
Maybe he saw Space Jam? Or did that predate his becoming a water boy?

Too bad for Chris he wasn't born a few years later. They probably would have let him play in the final game of the season for the last few minutes or so.
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Christian Weston Chandler as the star of his own spammy Upworthy post.

"This Team Let Their Autistic Manager Play. I Vomited Empathy and Despair At My Barren Womb Over What Happened Next."
 
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Picklechu said:
A lot of the time, a coach or someone will take pity and want to make retarded kids feel at least semi-normal, so they'll seek them out to be waterboys. They're usually pretty starved for social interaction, so most tards jump at the opportunity. We had a similar situation when I was in high school with 2/3 of a set of triplets and the football team.
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One of the councilors or special ed teachers probably set it up to get him active in something. We had one legitimately special needs student at my high school, and the baseball team made him team manager since he couldn't physically play, but I have no idea what the job entailed.

MysticMisty said:
Maybe he saw Space Jam? Or did that predate his becoming a water boy?

Too bad for Chris he wasn't born a few years later. They probably would have let him play in the final game of the season for the last few minutes or so.
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That happened a few years ago in upstate New York; they let the autistic team manager suit up for the last game of the season and put him in when they had a big lead. He missed his first shot and then hit a whole bunch of threes in a row. It was a great story, but now he's setting good times in marathons just to make me feel lazy.
 
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MysticMisty said:
Too bad for Chris he wasn't born a few years later. They probably would have let him play in the final game of the season for the last few minutes or so.
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Judging from his unimpressive size, the other team would have taken every opportunity to back him down towards the hole and penetrate deep inside, really just trying to score hard and fast every time they got their hands on the ball. Christian would have gotten stretched thin just trying to cover his man, since they'd just have too much size for Christian to handle.

Christian could shine on the other end though. While he looks like he has a fast release, his shot probably has a low release point and he'll get stuffed often. He'd probably play a passive but important role with his ball-handling skills, distributing the load to his teammates so they can get to the hole.

It's a shame Christian never got into sports. If he got into baseball, I could see him being a catcher but not a pitcher. He also could have been a pretty good tight end in American football.
 
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maninthepicklesuit said:
Judging from his unimpressive size, the other team would have taken every opportunity to back him down towards the hole and penetrate deep inside, really just trying to score hard and fast every time they got their hands on the ball. Christian would have gotten stretched thin just trying to cover his man, since they'd just have too much size for Christian to handle.

Christian could shine on the other end though. While he looks like he has a fast release, his shot probably has a low release point and he'll get stuffed often. He'd probably play a passive but important role with his ball-handling skills, distributing the load to his teammates so they can get to the hole.

It's a shame Christian never got into sports. If he got into baseball, I could see him being a catcher but not a pitcher. He also could have been a pretty good tight end in American football.
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This is a beautiful post and you are a beautiful man, in a pickle suit.
 
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maybe he saw the water boy, but what about Joseph Herring the other water boy? Me thinks, he was doing it for extra curricular activities while Chris was doing it for social interaction, they would do it for the special kids at the high school I went to as well.
 
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JohnConstantine said:
It saddens me to think all that went up in flames. What a waste.
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I sometimes wish I had a collection like that. I've had to sell my games and toys through the years though, and I never had quite as many as that.

Also, why is Chris' name on every shelf of his video-games. Literally every shelf. I mean, it's very Chris (he puts his face and once good name on everything,) but I just don't understand why you would do that to your things. It's like his gaming accessories. Those things look bulky, gross and unwieldy.
 
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The name thing has always annoyed me with Chris.

There's this guy I know on Flickr who uses his initials in a lot of the things he does (it's even in his username) and I always have to wonder if he's tismal too. I mean, he takes pics of schoolbuses.

My dumbass Maria who I have brought up in obscure laughing stocks also scribbles her name all over her crap too, and it looks as nasty as Chris's consoles.
 
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The game shelves somewhat illustrate just how spoiled Chris is. It appears that the only possessions Chris didn't get when he asked for them were quite expensive, or just not available. If Barb or Bob thought they could get it, Chris got it, regardless of deserving or earning it. Shelves like that aren't sold normally, I usually only see them sold when a store is closing for good. It's possible that it was just too good a deal to pass up, but I don't buy it. I think Chris begged for those shelves so he could have his own game store in his room. Adding the name to each shelf in place of where price tags would go supports my theory, because Chris was further realizing his fantasy of having a game store that was just for him. He thought of it, he got the shit he needed to do it, and he achieved the concept. Too bad nothing else went that smoothly for him after that.
 
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