CWC-skulled

[Furina]

It's already established Chris is a creature of routine, partly due to his autism. Plus McDonalds serves the dual purpose of feeding him, so it'd a tough habit to break.

Exactly. Chris's mind is reset every day. Yesterday was just bad luck, but today, TODAY is the day. To figure out a new plan of action and implement it is simply too stressful for him. He has, in his mind, a perfect plan that should logically work were it not for the JERKS and the women being distracted by shopping or whatever.
Chris just wants to sit back, stuff his belly with McDonalds and wait for women to approach him. Anything else is too complicated/risky/expensive.

 

[Some JERK]

His entire life before adulthood had been a series of just doing whatever the fuck he felt like, and then getting a pass anyway. So he learned that unpleasantness, sacrifice and risk can all be avoided if you're just willing to wait it out. You'll still get the cookie eventually.

 

[Lefty's Revenge]

Why the hell doesn't he just use Craigslist, like other desperate, ugly people looking for love?

Because why should Chris put in any effort into a sweetheart? He's Chris, the one and only original creator of sonichu who got honor roll back in high school and MOWED THE LAWN.

Ladies should instantly recognize what a catch he is and flock to him to start a conversation.

Which reminds me, if Chris were to somehow magically get a girl to talk to him because of that sign, what the fuck would they even talk about? Chris knows nothing outside of sonichu, MLP, his internet legacy, and half assing his way through video games. Not to mention the fact that hes neither funny, witty, or charming. He'd never be able to hold a decent conversation with a female.

 

[Da Pickle Monsta]

There's also the issue that Chris seems to have the attitude of maybe today will be the day. Sure, a pretty white girl didn't say hi to him in McDonalds today, but maybe tomorrow. Or tomorrow. Or tomorrow. Or tomorrow.

Wow. That's the same logic my father uses when buying lotto tickets.

 

[Anchuent Christory]

Yeah Chris, it's a real mystery as to why nobody wants to approach you and initiate a conversation

It's almost like he thinks the real world operates like Animal Crossing or other video game worlds, where people just walk up to random strangers and initiate conversations with them out of the blue.

 

[exball]

Yeah Chris, it's a real mystery as to why nobody wants to approach you and initiate a conversation

It's almost like he thinks the real world operates like Animal Crossing or other video game worlds, where people just walk up to random strangers and initiate conversations with them out of the blue.

Need something Zap?

 

[Coldgrip]

If a girl did respond to his sign I'm willing to bet she's probably on par with Chris. So any conversation would revolve around MLP, vidya, sonchu and whatever original character she came up with.

 

[Lady Houligan]

If a girl did respond to his sign I'm willing to bet she's probably on par with Chris. So any conversation would revolve around MLP, vidya, sonchu and whatever original character she came up with.

So you're saying is that this is finally the time for me to bring up my MLP/Pokemon crossover character, Burning Dash?

 

[Coldgrip]

Shh, you'll give Chris ideas.

 

[Mr. 0]

Shh, you'll give Chris ideas.

Which he'll then ignore in favor of his own superior, original TRUE and HONEST ideas.

 

[Sakamoto]

Chris feels that fate owes him a sweetheart. After all, his parents and grandparents and great-grandparents and all his family have had sweethearts, everyone on TV finds a happy ending, "there's someone for everyone", right? Dying alone without having his fuck-trophy daughter Crystal just couldn't possibly be his fate, so all he needs to do is be patient and wait for fate to make its overdue delivery.

 

[Furina]

Perhaps Chris saw a few too many dumb romantic comedies where the guy is just chilling, minding his own business when a clumsy girl literally falls into his lap. Turns out she's rich and wants nothing more in life than to take the bent, autistic D every night. Chris has said before that he feels like his life is a soap opera. A romantic encounter with a beautiful lady is exactly the sort of thing that would happen in such an artificial world.

 

[Lady Houligan]

Perhaps Chris saw a few too many dumb romantic comedies where the guy is just chilling, minding his own business when a clumsy girl literally falls into his lap. Turns out she's rich and wants nothing more in life than to take the bent, autistic D every night. Chris has said before that he feels like his life is a soap opera. A romantic encounter with a beautiful lady is exactly the sort of thing that would happen in such an artificial world.

Kicker: are we talking North or South American soap opera? (God help me I almost typed "soup opera". Maybe that's the kind where the homeless people are the actors. Anyways.) Because from what I understand of South American soap operas, the woman's ALWAYS the one who gets what she wants, and the man's left crying outside the bedroom.

Or it's a North American one and his evil twin appears to ruin his life.

 

[Alec Benson Leary]

if Chris were to somehow magically get a girl to talk to him because of that sign, what the fuck would they even talk about? Chris knows nothing outside of sonichu, MLP, his internet legacy, and half assing his way through video games. Not to mention the fact that hes neither funny, witty, or charming. He'd never be able to hold a decent conversation with a female.

He can't hold a conversation with anyone. Even if a pretty lady came up to him to start a conversation, he'd just mumble and not make eye contact. If they went on a date, she'd be trying to engage him in interesting topics, but he'd just sit there like a lump.

 

[Henry Bemis]

Perhaps Chris saw a few too many dumb romantic comedies where the guy is just chilling, minding his own business when a clumsy girl literally falls into his lap. Turns out she's rich and wants nothing more in life than to take the bent, autistic D every night. Chris has said before that he feels like his life is a soap opera. A romantic encounter with a beautiful lady is exactly the sort of thing that would happen in such an artificial world.

Kicker: are we talking North or South American soap opera? (God help me I almost typed "soup opera". Maybe that's the kind where the homeless people are the actors. Anyways.) Because from what I understand of South American soap operas, the woman's ALWAYS the one who gets what she wants, and the man's left crying outside the bedroom.

Or it's a North American one and his evil twin appears to ruin his life.

Considering that Chris's life has featured an evil doppelganger, a kidnapping, a government conspiracy, and a lot of corny music, I'd say it's a North American soap.

 

[Stalin]

Perhaps Chris saw a few too many dumb romantic comedies where the guy is just chilling, minding his own business when a clumsy girl literally falls into his lap. Turns out she's rich and wants nothing more in life than to take the bent, autistic D every night. Chris has said before that he feels like his life is a soap opera. A romantic encounter with a beautiful lady is exactly the sort of thing that would happen in such an artificial world.

Kicker: are we talking North or South American soap opera? (God help me I almost typed "soup opera". Maybe that's the kind where the homeless people are the actors. Anyways.) Because from what I understand of South American soap operas, the woman's ALWAYS the one who gets what she wants, and the man's left crying outside the bedroom.

Or it's a North American one and his evil twin appears to ruin his life.

Considering that Chris's life has featured an evil doppelganger, a kidnapping, a government conspiracy, and a lot of corny music, I'd say it's a North American soap.

Needs more cheesy romance and long lost children.

To get back to the subject: Chris will never learn. He will definitely be doing this as long as he lives. A pitiful existence.

 

[Pikonic]

Never. Chris is Chris.

DING DING DING DING DING DING DING That is correct!

 

[Francis York Morgan]

if Chris were to somehow magically get a girl to talk to him because of that sign, what the fuck would they even talk about? Chris knows nothing outside of sonichu, MLP, his internet legacy, and half assing his way through video games. Not to mention the fact that hes neither funny, witty, or charming. He'd never be able to hold a decent conversation with a female.

He can't hold a conversation with anyone. Even if a pretty lady came up to him to start a conversation, he'd just mumble and not make eye contact. If they went on a date, she'd be trying to engage him in interesting topics, but he'd just sit there like a lump.

Not that this excuses him in any way, but what is he supposed to talk about? Chris sitting there like a lump is pretty apropos considering what his life is like.

 

[homerbeoulve]

Poor Chris is the shyest attention whore ever.

The irony is too awesome on this one.

 

[Henry Bemis]

if Chris were to somehow magically get a girl to talk to him because of that sign, what the fuck would they even talk about? Chris knows nothing outside of sonichu, MLP, his internet legacy, and half assing his way through video games. Not to mention the fact that hes neither funny, witty, or charming. He'd never be able to hold a decent conversation with a female.

He can't hold a conversation with anyone. Even if a pretty lady came up to him to start a conversation, he'd just mumble and not make eye contact. If they went on a date, she'd be trying to engage him in interesting topics, but he'd just sit there like a lump.

Not that this excuses him in any way, but what is he supposed to talk about? Chris sitting there like a lump is pretty apropos considering what his life is like.

Chris finds ample opportunity to bitch about his life via any available medium. It's just that face-to-face conversation, in all its spontaneous and unplan-able glory, is not something he takes to.