I finally got around to playing cyberpunk 2077, before I give my thoughts, some context:
I have never played a witcher game, I have never seen a cyberpunk 2077 trailer, I was not hyped or excited for cyberpunk. My connection to the cyberpunk genre is that I like human revolution and mankind divided. Most of what I know about the game is that redditors were really hyped for it, that it had a bad release and its fixed now, and that keanu reeves is in it.
All I know of its development cycle is that it took a really long time, was delayed a few times, and maybe used crunch.
That is to say, I had 0 expecations or hype for this game and I was not scorned by this game at launch.
So with that out of the way, I can safely say this is the most mid, bland and uninspired "product" I have ever touched in my entire life. I genuinely find it hard to believe it took them like 10 years to shit out something this mediocre, at points it genuinely feels like it was made by AI, and if you asked me to define goyslop, this takes the award far more than any ubishit game.
First and most importantly, the story is dogshit, in a multitude of ways.
You pick a life path that affects the tutorial and is COMPLETELY irrelevant past it. It doesn't affect quests, it doesn't affect abilities, it doesn't affect skills, it doesn't affect the ending, all it does it give you a bunch of throwaway dialogue options SOMETIMES that don't affect anything. It is literally window dressing.
After the tutorial where your character loses everything and gets stuck on night city streets, you get a 2 minute montage of your character building himself up, learning to use guns, learnring the in and outs of night city, making friends, making contracts, rising through the ranks and I'm gonna stop you right there, what the fuck is going on here?
Why is this a montage? Why is the most important and intresting part of our character's life, learning the fucking city the game takes place in a skippable 2 minute cutscene? Why the fuck isn't this the game we're playing?
What follows is a bunch of admitedly pretty high quality from a presentation standpoint, but EXTREMELY railoaded and highly scripted quests that culminate in us getting the relic.
And somehow it all goes downhill from here.
So our character is literally going to fucking DIE in a few weeks from keanu reeves (and I'll get to him later) overwriting our mind, unless we do something about it RIGHT THE FUCK NOW. This is the worst case of RPG urgency I have ever seen in any game ever.

How the fuck am I expected to fiddlefuck with sidequests that involve recovering crackpipes from junkies WHEN I'M ABOUT TO FUCKING DIE OF STROKE UNLESS I DO SOMETHING RIGHT NOW? Not even skyrim or oblivion were this bad about it, you know why? Because they didn't rub it in your fucking face every 2 minutes.
Its not enough that the the main quest puts an insane ammount of urgency on you, its that every single time you try to do a sidequest V gets a nosebleed to remind you that the clock is ticking and you're wasting time.
Not even skyrim and oblivion were this bad about this because:
A.) Their timescale were vague
B.) They had ramp off points
C.) You could actually finish the main quest and then focus on side quests in them, but ooh we're getting to that.
D.) Your character didn't get a fucking scripted nosebleed on every single sidequest reminding you that you're wasting time.
After your buddy dies in act one the writing takes a turn downhill. None of the other characters are half as likable (Except for Takemura but he gets basically no screentime and gets removed from the narrative because at one point saving him is optional, so the devs couldn't be arsed to make quests about him that the player could miss), and the alright pace that was set up earlier is tossed out the window, its like that meme of the horse drawing that gets shittier and shittier as it goes on.
You basically do a bunch of meaningless busywork that all culminates in the same way: You have to break in the arasaka tower (which by the way is completely undefended for completely unconvincing reasons) , but you can choose between red, green or blue flavoured companions to do so, which is also irrelevant, because in every single ending, you fucking die anyway.
Yep that's right, 30+ hours of mandatory story to get here that was ALL about finding a way to survive the relic which is what the entire fucking game is about(plus however many sidequests) were all for naught, because you ALWAYS die. No matter what.
There is no way to save yourself, and you CANNOT continue playing post ending, meaning that if you wanted to just get rid of the chip and take your time to enjoy the city afterward, you can't.
Enjoy a constant reminder that you're dying on every single sidequest and that you can't do anything about it and that its all pointless.
This game has 6 endings, in 5 of them you just fucking die no matter what, and the 6th one is arguably a fate worse than death (you're basically forgotten by everyone and become a super cripple unfit to even sweep the street). So at this point why even bother?
Ok, the main quest is dogshit, but the side quests are good at least, right? No. They're mediocre to bad. At best. Most of them are something along the lines of randos popping up on your phone asking you to recover their lost crackpipe that was stolen and is currently guarded by 80 scavengers.
And while we're at it, why is it that everytime I step in a new district a fixer contacts me and introduces themselves? Didn't I already got to meet these people in the 6 month montage that was literally me doing jobs for them? Wtf was the point of the montage then if V doesn't even know any fixers??? Its like two completely seperate games are clashing with one another to grab the reins of the plot.
There are chains of semi intresting quests usually focused around romancable characters (Panam, Judy, River and Eurodyne) but they are mediocre at best (Panam) or downright retarded at worst (Judy).
I still can't get over this, we spend several days formulating a plan with panam, recovering her vehicle, sabotaging relays, learning routes, etc, so we can capture a guy flying out of the city in an armoured transport who knows about the microchip, and at the end of the day it was all for naught because our plan fails and panam just blasts the motherfucker out of the sky with a rocket launcher, something we were explicitly told couldn't be done because it was an armoured fucking transport which is why we needed the emp and the plan TO BEGIN WITH.
Of the 3, Eurodyne's quest about bringing the scooby gang back toogether is pretty intresting, but it has a problem that large parts of the game suffer from that I'll bring up later.
Bethesda does many things wrong, but their faction questlines running parallel to the main quest were brilliant because it allowed them to introduce long lasting quest chains that were mini campaigns of their own serving as vectors to explore the map and find other smaller side quests while allowing for big stakes. Cyberpunk just has the main quest, the 4 romances which lack real stakes and everything else is busywork bullshit.
Oh and I just remembered. In the first act of the game you break into the HQ of the most powerful megacorp on the planet and steal a unique one of a kind prototype nanochip designed as a testbed for immortality... and there are LITERALLY NO CONSEQUENCES FOR THIS.
The law doesn't come after you, the company doesn't come after you, nobody shows up to retrieve their property, its like they don't give a shit.
And now to transition between gameplay and writing, for a cyberpunk game, the genre who's main thing is fucking cyber augments, the cyber augments in cyberpunk are lazy as fuck and boring as shit, both from a writing and gameplay standpoint.
Let me explain what I mean.
Description of the leg upgrade in Deus Ex:





Description of the leg upgrade in cyberpunk (Multiple completely seperate leg pieces with completely seperate abilities share this btw):
Deus ex has mini novellas for every single augment, cyberpunk has an IOU of a description for every single cyberware.
Grab a fucking jannitor and get him to spend 3 hours writing descriptions for the augments you lazy uninspired hacks. If you're supposed to get immersed in the world it would help if you bothered giving me shit to be immersed by. Deus ex devs didn't have to write an entire novella explaining how and why a fucking robotic leg makes you jump higher, they did it anyway because its immersive and they give a shit about the world they have created.
And gameplay isn't much better either. 99% of augments in cyberpunk boil down to giving you minor stat boosts. None of them significantly alter your gameplay except for your OS letting you choose between bullet time or access to the console commands to pause the game and do "killall" on every combat encounter..
Getting "chromed up" never feels like you're really becoming stronger of superior, compare to deus ex letting you demolish walls, mindrape people in non combat settings, become a portable WMD, launch carbon nanoblades, blink, builtin parachutes, etc.
Hell, even really mundane shit like the implant rebreather and EMP plating felt significant because the devs knew to put hazards so you could actually feel their use if you bought them.
The skill tree in cyberpunk is equally lame and dogshit. 99% of it is just stat boosts, with the occasional actually broken perk like burn the city and juggler, but there's too many mandatory perks in the tech tree relating to chrome capacity and intelligence is a dump stat anyway unless you're running a cyberdeck, so there's really not that much you can do with it either, in fact I can already predict what most builds look like.
100% of builds will have 20 points into tech. Always. This is unquestionable and mandatory because its the only way to get chrome capacity for augments. You cannot escape this.
100% of non cyberdeck builds will have 0 points into int, because int literally does NOTHING unless you run a cyberdeck and putting points into it without one literally has no effect. If you DO run a cyberdeck you don't need anything other than int because playing with a cyberdeck is the equivallent of opening the debug console and typing "killall" in it.
100% of builds will have at least 15 points into body to exploit the ridiculously strong healing and adrenaline perks.
And whatever remains will go to either cool, reflexes or body depending on what weapons you end up using, because the skill tree is designed in such a shitty way where there's little to no actual variation on the type of builds you can do. You get way too many points, and there's way too much useless shit in it. After you grab the health and chrome upgrades there's not much else to grab other than numerical buffs for your chosen weapon type.
Yes, there's 1-2 standout perks, juggler, airdash, and doomlauncher come to mind, but that's about it. Everything else boils down to "Do more X ammount more damage with Y weapon."
Melee combat is dogshit (as is tradition in every single game not built around melee combat) and gunplay is ok. Its about on the same level as fallout 4. Its not really exceptional but it gets the job done.
Resource management is also nonexistent you fucking SWIM in ammo and cash because past a certain level enemies just start dropping legendaries nonstop, and for some god forsaken reason both your grenade and healing item recharge for free in combat from the very beggining, so what the fuck is the point of the healing and grenade implants? Slightly better stats?
I heard someone say that they made them rechargable because people in the past would just enter combat with 999 grenades and heal items and trivialize it.
A.) That's on you for having a shit resource economy. Deus ex never had this problem.
B.) Deep rock galactic came out 4 years ago and it already solved this problem by giving some items a cooldown AND a limited ammo count on certain items like the gunner shield, so that's not an excuse either.
Am I forgetting anything? Oh right.
Johnny.
Keanu Reeves is a horrible actor. I'm sorry, but its true. The man cannot act for shit. The man could not act his way out of a graveyard by pretending to be alive. He chews half his lines and the other half are recorded as if he was reading them through his teeth while reading the script for the first time.
He can't emote for shit, speaks in a monotone voice and has zero charisma or gravitas, which is a problem because he has more voice lines than the main godamn character. Everytime he opened his mouth it felt like I had a fucking text to speech reading lines to me, any quest he plays a significant role in any quest it instantly becomes worse because the man can't act.
But its ok guys, he's a genuinely good person, so that makes up for the fact that he can't act for shit and ruins every single scene he's in which is most of them.
So... what is left? Story is shit, characters are mid, gameplay is mid, worldbuilding is lazy as fuck to the point where augments have no description, augments are lame and uninspired, so... what is even left?
Yeah sure the map is pretty I guess but you need to actually fill the map with intresting things.
tl;dr
This game redefines goyslop. Its uninspired, lazy, shallow as a puddle, wide as a swamp, writing is horrible and gameplay is mid. People who think that the game is now "redeemed" are delusional, this is not a classic, this is not even close to a classic. I'd put this game on the same level I would put assassins creed liberation.