- Joined
- Nov 26, 2016
Featured on Jun 16, 2024 by Null: Dax Herrera's thread now has a proper OP after 5 years, finally answering the frequently asked question: "What exactly is a Juju the Cow, anyways?"
Dax Herrera (p/k/a Dick Masterson) is an author, comedian, and pocaster who has been in Los Angeles as a "Hollywood hopeful" for most of his miserable life. In the 2000s, he had a lucky break with his book Men are Better than Women, which earned him a spot on Dr. Phil's TV show. This was the peak of his career, as in the near two decades since, his most prominent IMDb entry has been for a pizza advertisement. He has made appearances in the UCB comedy club to attempt to start a comedy career, but was banned after his podcast audience review bombed the theater.
Dax found success on the podcast The Biggest Problem in the Universe as a co-host under Maddox. The show ended after 107 episodes. Dax claims the podcast ended because he hooked up with Maddox's ex-girlfriend, and Maddox claims it ended because Dax would blow off the show without reason, causing it to become stale and decline in popularity. There were two subsequent legal feuds between the two started by Maddox, one over the trademark of the podcast, and another over various claims related to defamation and harassment. The second lawsuit was known as "the Lolsuit". The coverage of the Lolsuit bootstrapped the success of Dax's successor show, The Dick Show, which is his main source of income and relevance. Dax triumphed in both lawsuits, mostly due to Maddox's incompetence in conducting his business.
If you are new here or revisiting from the older days, you might be asking "why is Dax a lolcow now? He used to be cool!"
No. He was always a lolcow. He was never cool, not since high school.
(May, 2020)
Throughout the years, Dax displayed his lolcow tendencies constantly. Allowing his thread to live rent free in his head and crying about specific users making up wild speculations about him and his girlfriend Marie. Most people chose to ignore his antics because they don't have a father figure in their life, and because he was on somewhat good terms with the site and somewhat popular in the circles, now known as "The Sektur".
Dax Harrera the PROM Homecoming KING
Dax loves to brag about being the HOMECOMING KING in high school, what an achievement! He is so proud of peaking in highschool, he will literally scream the fact at you for challenging his authority. Check out his face turning bright red as a fat man ridicules him for being insecure. Contrary to his claims, Dax was never the prom king.Not manly enough? Here's a gallery from his high school yearbook. Ladies, please avert your gaze.
Straightest dude in California.
(Wait for him to metamorphically change into a cow named Juju.)
What was Dax's advice to the younger ones as a senior?
Dax "the hammer" Herrera.
Did the Vikings dress up as cows when they get fucked in the butt? This could be referring to some gay sportsball shit where grown sweaty men (and women) play with balls. Don't ask me, I don't watch that gay stuff.
Other photos I found.
Out of high school, Dax worked IT and learned enough about programming and web development to serve him in some projects that will be discussed later. However, he had his eyes set on the City of Angels and the Hollywood Hills.
Early in his life, he wrote a collection of misogynistic blog posts that he would later develop into a full book called Men are Better than Women. In the 2000s, this sort of trite and deliberately offensive material was still effective, and it outraged enough people to get media attention. Dax would credit Maddox with inspiring him. Maddox's blog, The Best Page in the Universe, was one of the most popular early Internet websites to exist, beating out massive corporations by traffic numbers, despite being a collection of diatribes by a bald man from Utah. Dax aped this style of ragebait drivel for his book. He would aspire to get closer to Maddox and befriend him.
Men are Better than Women and Dr. Phil
Dax Herrera's book, Men are Better than Women, caused the production crew at Dr. Phil to reach out to him. His punchable face and hateable personality was exactly the kind of ragebait that appeals to the middle-aged women that watch his show. Over three episodes, Dax and five other "Judgmental People" stay at Dr. Phil's ranch to be lectured. The producers knew Dax was in on the joke but they were OK with it because it was what they wanted. Simply, Dax got to advertise his book, and Dr. Phil got to piss a bunch of old ladies off for advertiser revenue.This clip was the peak of Dax's career in Hollywood. This is the best shot he has ever gotten and will ever get: stunning a woman into silence in the audience of the Dr. Phil show by calling her fat. This landing and her visual disaffection was so formative to his stylings as a comedian, he has made the same joke every day for decades since. Notably, he was too slow to even realise that the woman admitted to wanting to be in "his queue", where he could have formulated a smarted response.
This clip and the rest of the Dr. Phil series was lost media because the female guests at the Dr. Phil ranch in these episodes sued his company for making them look bad. As a result, they were pulled out of syndication. However, Dax desperately wanted to relive these glory days, and tasked his audience to hunt them down more than a decade later. A Swedish person knew that the Swedish National Library (Kungliga biblioteket, the Royal Library) maintains a permanent record of all footage aired on Swedish television with hardcoded Swedish subtitles. Dax literally hunted these Dr. Phil episodes to the ends of the Earth to ensure he could listen to his greatest joke forever. How utterly pathetic.
Is Dick Masterson Real?
No. Quite the opposite as you will soon learn. His persona isn't just fake, it's the exact opposite. He is a simp. A massive SIMP.Barbie Dream Mansion
Dax claims he lives in a massive Barbie's dream mansion in Hollywood Hills where he fucks his girlfriend while overseeing the city. He got doxed by Corey Barnhill (liar, fat, paedophile) of all people.Turns out he lives a "mere" 4 hours of walking distance away from Hollywood Hills. Totally he lives there, guys! Yet another Diddler Dax lie.
This private information is unavailable to guests due to policies enforced by third-parties.
Dax does not like it when you make fun of his Barbie crackshack in the hills.
It turns out that some idiot did knock Dax's door and he cried about it endlessly on his show that somehow still has an audience. The person who knocked on his doors turned out to be Xander/Dispatch Commit who was one of the earlier orbiters of the Sektur back in the stream.me days. He built a streaming service called [Bitwave], and subsequently worked on Odysee. This confirms that Dax lives in Barbie's crackshack, no where near Hollywood Hills.
I will defend Dax's house a little here. You will note that the property is estimated at $1.4 million, that's just the normal price of typical three bedroom homes in the dump known as Los Angeles. The estimation is based on today's price, adjusted for inflation and all. Dax has been living there for a long time. It's certainly not a dream mansion by any metric or definition of the word, but it does boast a nice view in a quiet neighbourhood. It's a house that any middle class person would be proud of, but wouldn't necessarily boast about. The large dock overseeing the mountains is pretty cool.
The Biggest Problem in the Universe
The Biggest Problem in the Universe (TBPITU) was a podcast started by Maddox and co-hosted by Dax Herrera under his performer name Dick Masterson. Sean Jacobson was their audio engineer. The series' original run lasted 107 episodes.A full synopsis of TBPITU is outside the scope of this post. The gist was, Dax and Maddox would bring "problems" ranging from small and inconsequential to serious societal issues - or as Maddox would weirdly describe it, "from ants to AIDS". They would debate these. By the nature of the program, conflict was fodder, so both Dax and Maddox would play up their arguments, but usually in different ways. Dax would sometimes say things that got cut, which put them at odds with each other. For instance: that women who get raped deserved to be raped because they didn't do enough to prevent getting raped.
When Dax would gain full control of TBPITU copyright as a consequence of both the trademark lawsuit and the Lolsuit, he would publish the "Uncucked" version of the episodes on his website.
The podcast ended a few episodes after Dax was removed as co-host. The story of this is debated by both Maddox and Dax, but the core element was a girl: Marie Valenzuela.
Marie Valenzuela
Dax's girlfriend is an former camgirl [allegedly] and YouTuber, and current LA teacher, by the name of Marie Valenzuela. She is the ex-girlfriend of Maddox, Dax's previous employer and colleague of their shows. Her pseudonym is "80s Girl", which should tell you about her age, state of life, fertility and future. Normally, I wouldn't care about this stuff. However, as you will soon be reading, she is upset that Dax squandered all her fertile years and never gave her any children. Marie being a teacher probably loves to be around children. It's a shame that her ugly balding misogynist moid of a boyfriend Dax never gave her any. Such is life. Sad.
I will be referring to her as just "Marie" in this thread, not to be confused with the other autistic girl in Dax's orbit Marie Hintsala (Mint Salad) who is Riley's girlfriend, and potentially a victim of sexual exploitation.
The history between Marie and Dax is scattered across several different threads, I will keep it short.
- Marie and Maddox dated for years.
- Dax became an employee of Maddox. They did the Biggest Problem in the Universe together.
- Maddox had the approval of Marie's mother, and Dax was slated to be Maddox's best man at their wedding.
- At some point, Maddox broke up with Marie and then remained in contact for months after, where Marie hoped to normalize their relationship as friends.
- After being rejected by Maddox, Marie hooked up with Dax to try and make him jealous.
- Dax's schtick for years has been that Maddox got "cucked" by Dax stealing his bitch, but...
- There are emails published in 2023 by Maddox which indicate she wanted to get back with him, but he did not want to.
- Dax decided to hook up with his best friend's ex-girlfriend despite having been nominated to be his Best Man at their wedding.
- When Maddox hit on one of Dax's ex-girlfriends, Dax really hated that. They are the same person down to their histrionics. Listen to below at 46:11
This is Maddox reading an email from Marie to him a year after they broke up, contradicting the story that Dax laid out which was the foundation for his story as to why TBPITU ended. It seems petty to focus so hard on a he-said, she-said situation in a love triangle, but I emphasise that this lie is Dax's entire career. The story that Dax stole Maddox's girlfriend, which Maddox was simply too irate over to continue their successful podcast, and forced him to sue him out of cuck rage, is the scandalous "hot goss" that Dax has sold people for literally hundreds of thousands of dollars at this point. Meanwhile, the reality was that Maddox simply did not want her back, and that made her angry and upset.
(Meet the teacher that doesn't know how paragraphs work.)
Despite Marie's usefulness against Maddox and her public appearances, Dax protests anyone who involves her in Internet drama. It is rumored that she once did cam shows, and an image of "hulagirl86" was once posted to the Kiwi Farms by an anonymous source many speculated to be Maddox himself.
(First photo shown is based on the last, with perspective corrected.)
Dax denies this is her. Despite his professional and personal involvement with other women in the adult entertainment industry, he cannot admit that his girlfriend has ever done anything that might be or border on porn. This is because Maddox is the cuck, not him, and he can't admit to dating a woman who's done shows.
In this clip from Maddox, he plays rare footage of Marie trying to start a YouTube project. The footage of Marie is years old, and would probably be from around the same time she did shows. Seeing them side by side is very convincing it is her.
A screenshot posted on The Dick Show's subreddit contains a screenshot of Facebook messages in which Asterios Kokkinos, a frequent guest of both TBIPTU and TDS and party to the Lolsuit, confirms that Marie did porn shoots. At the time this all was released, none of it matters, because Maddox was the bad guy and Dax was the good guy.
reddit, Archive
If this makes you hate Marie, don't worry, she got what she deserved for being so catty with these games. Dax wasted her fertile years, stunted her life's progress, and never married her. She is an aged trophy never-wife that sits in the background of his studio and teaches children just to have access to the kids she wished she had herself. Her anguish is described in the Jamie Lynn Hughes leaks during the Simpspiracy.
Simpspiracy Text Messages
One of the biggest blows to Dax's "Dick Masterson" persona was was the Simpspiracy. He tries to brush this aside as "just getting pussy", but it revealed several things about him:- Dax is a sexual submissive.
- Dax is a pushover and hopeless romantic.
- Dax cheats on his girlfriend, Marie.
- Dax ruined Marie's life and she resents him.
- Dax only stays with Marie to keep her as a live-in trophy over Maddox.
- Dax has a fursona called Juju the Cow and he wears anal plugs with animal tails.
Jamie Lynn Hughes
Jamie Lynn Hughes was a woman that Dax entered a relationship with after opening his relationship up with Marie. After the relationship ended, JLH went scorched earth on Dax and released loads of text messages. Dax officially became Juju in the eyes of his growing anti-fandom.
Jamie wrote a medium article about Dax. As usual, when you talk about Dax in a negative manner, his simps will report you to get you banned, either under his direct command or being riled up to do so.
Reddit discussion archive
"I fell for the world’s best troll." by Jamie Lynn Hughes
Archive
This private information is unavailable to guests due to policies enforced by third-parties.
The Simspiracy Text Messages (dump)
The Jamie Lynn Hughes article had a companion PDF attached. This PDF contained text message screenshots from Jamie.Dax broke up with his girlfriend Marie and talked Jamie into leaving her husband in Texas. She agreed and the two begun cohabitation. Marie showed up at some point and the two appeared to have rebounded, now engaging in a disgusting polyamorous relationship. Jamie left this arrangement shortly after, now the relationship with her husband also in shatters, she went scorched earth on the man that tricked her into the cesspit known as Los Angeles.
- She was 34 years old.
- Her life is regressing.
- She feels sad that she will never be a mother.
- She feels sad that she will never be the wife of the man she loves.
- She is a teacher, yet she does not understand the basic concept of fucking paragraphs Jesus Christ that block of text.
All this culminated to the most embarrassing simping video you'll ever see. This was sent to Jamie from Dax.
And Dax's poetry.
This is some of the most embarrassing shit ever. Look at his handwriting. Is this guy 13?
Archive
Dax's Rebirth: Juju the Cow
Let me introduce you to to one of Dax's three fursonas, Juju the Cow, a cow named Juju who likes to get [her] teets milked.
Dax Harrera has three fursonas when he gets fucked in the anus with a strap-on, one of them is Juju the Cow to Marie, the other is Wolfie to Jamie, and finally he is a "stallion" when both of them fucks him in the butthole.
He probably likes the fursona of a female cow named Juju because his "bit" is about the size of a cow's milker.
What the fuck, Dax? While there is a common copypasta on the site claiming Dax Herrera dresses up as Juju while he gets sodomised, the text messages seems to confirm that he had no fursuit proclivities, at least back then. We don't know the current state of affairs, and we don't know if Dax indeed comissioned a Juju the Cow fursuit to roleplay in.
These messages came from one of Dax's ex-fans @BIG_BRAD.
They got him a buttplug with a horsetail for his birthday.
Juju and Marie liked to throw shade at each other behind their backs. What a stable relationship.
Finally, here's Juju at Burning Man. Straightest man in attendance.
Dax's Sodomy
Ha, gay. Juju likes to suck cock. He sucks a lot of cock. There is no cock big enough for him to suck.
Jamie and Marie had strap-ons that they didn't just use on each other.
Juju's Udder and teets
Jamie did comment on the size of Juju's penis.
Marie's Mother Shares her Story
She misses her baby girl.
She accepts George as her son-in-law, George displays great affection and respect which was reciprocated with a nod of approval.
She's enjoying her life.
So I wonder where we're at now? Her daughter is now shacked up with a fat furry who would likely mock her and call her fat. He's doing threesomes getting sodomised in turn, switching between a cow named Juju, wolfie, and a stallion. Mama Valenzuela will not be able to hug any grandchildren.
Dick Masterson versus Maddox
Who fucking cares?
Read this if you have too much time.
https://kiwifarms.net/threads/george-ouzounian-v-dax-herrera-et-al-2017.37922/
Maddox made a video going through the lawsuit and many events from his perspective. Aside from his grandiose autofellatio, the video is quite well made. Dax likes to call it the "cuckumentary", how funny and clever, says the guy that sucked off another man at Burning Man.
You can watch it here: https://no-cookie.kiwifarms.st/archive/Maddox/When_Fans_Become_Stalkers-4Ic6oqqw89U.webm
Also, if you still think Dax wasn't every bit as pathetic as Maddox, if not infinitely more so, hopefully this changes your opinion.
If it doesn't, maybe blame God for your fatherless simping of a furry lolcow.
Dax Lies about Swatting
Archive
On the 25th of July, 2023, A helicopter flew over Juju's Barbie Dream Mansion, he thought someone tried to swat him.
Let me get this straight, the LAPD sent out a helicopter to circulate Juju's shack, and they just left, doing nothing. Does that make sense to anyone?
A helicopter flies over this metropolitan single-family housing area, balding Mexican furry think he's being swatted. You can't make this up. He even claims the helicopter circled his house, did he use a sound-radar system or was he just a histrionic delusional twat?
Dax Supports Flagging
Dax likes to pretend to be a libertarian free speech absolutist, unless you're Eric July or someone who laughs at thim.
Here, Dax's paedophile pal Vito Gesualdi tries to deplatform Nicholas J. Fuentes. He succeeded. Juju copes very hard, he seems to be implying that this was a test for Rumble's stance on freedom of speech.
Dax Defends Cuckolding
Similar to Maddox, Juju also defends cuckolding.Did you know that feminism is worse than children seeing their father and mother getting fucked by a stranger? No? What, you're a conservative?
More clips here.
Dax's Litigious Censorship
Dax threatened two users on X/Twitter with lawsuits over Xeets they made. Dax's simps often like to bring up Maddox's abysmal lawsuits for the millionth time in a futile attempt to polish their e-daddy's udder. Dax is worse. Every bit of criticism is responded with "wahh wahhhh but Maddox". Shut the fuck up.Dax used the threat of a lawsuit to strongarm an X/Twitter user Dakka Dakka into deleting posts pertaining to his alleged sex trafficking of an autistic girl.
Archive
Dax did the same to PaulyFrog, who used to make videos concerning lolcows.
They sent out the junkyard attack pig Ethan Ralph from Mexico to run a stream on him, PaulyFrog just went DFE instead.
Archive
New Project 2
Dax offered New Project 2 (NP2) as a Patreon alternative. A lot of people in the Sektur have been effectively deplatformed and some debanked. People such as Ethan Ralph and Null were using it.PPP (Ashton Parks) and Godwinson (Adam Edge) made a hitpiece on the service, filled with the wildest speculation common from the psychopathic English simp Ketwinson. Some of the wildest claims include Chinese triad connected banks (because everything in a China Town is triad-connected apparently), Dax holding everyone's dox hostage and forcing people to defend him, and a lot more lizard-brained schizophrenia. Some Bri'ish was basing his schizophrenia off stupid Kung Fu movies it seems.
Null addressed most of the claims made in their hit piece.
Just recently, PPP reconciled with Null and offered a full apology. It's fair to say this is water under the bridge now. PPP specifically spoke about the "Blockland days" which was shit that happened more than a decade ago. They didn't really address the poor arguments made in their NP2 piece, but it's irrelevant now.
The hatchet was buried in the first few minutes.
Archive Links for NP2
Privacy policy: https://archive.md/DIMv5Terms of Service: https://archive.md/CipI6#selection-3445.0-3484.0
This fat lazy wetback used a Terms and Conditions generator. This was on the bottom of the page.
Dax's Noncery
(This was based on a cringe Dax joke saying he's the CIA = cleavage inspection agent.)
Here's Juju trying to educate his tranny paedophile friend Digibro on the optics of watching children getting raped.
In this clip, Juju says "everyone wants to fuck a 17-year-old". I just learned that the clip I sourced was deceptively edited.
I will replace the clip when I have the time to find the original.
Very funny, Dax.
Archive
Archive
A so called "comedian" made "jokes" about an infant sucking Black penis. Juju is uppity and ready to defend his honour. Those pesky conservatives and their unfun crusade against "people" "joking" about infant rape.
Dax the Cuties Crusader
In one episode of TDS, Juju had a discussion with Baked Alaska about the Cuties film.Most sane libertarian defence of noncery.
Summary and dot points by user @Had.
- It starts off with baked essentially saying that he only knows about shit from Twitter and from The Andy warski debate
- Baked make some basic points saying that he thinks it's wrong for Netflix to platform it saying that he has seen clips from Twitter
- " We are all against pedophilia" - Dick
- Now they're talking about the morality of sharing clips (if you think it's bad how could you share it versus I want people to know how bad it is)
- he's essentially making the argument but what if I made a movie and said it was bad but I still showed the imagery...that's what this film is
- "you're still making 12 year olds do that in real life is that appropriate." - Baked
- But Muh dance pageant
- "The parents don't have a problem with it" Dick
- "do people think pedophiles are gonna watch a 3 hour french art house film" Dick
- So far there appears to be a repetitive pattern where dick will bring up something like Tik Tok the Disney Channel or anything else with pedophilic themes hoping that baked will have to back down. Essentially saying well if you hate this why don't you also hate this but bake just says I hate that too so dicks argument kind of falls apart.
- "these are 12 year olds they should not be sexualized" baked
- what are ya gonna do make it illegal, yes.
- "do you think its ok for a 12 year old to be sexualized in a film" baked "ummmmm" Dick
- " What is the point in the government if not to protect something like this from happening" other guest idk who
- "This encourages pedophilia and that is a terrible" other guest "you can't prove that" Dick
- "if I was those four girls I'd be more traumatized by a bunch of right-wingers telling me what a slut I was in this picture then I ever would be doing some dumb dance routine" Dick
- *talking over each other*
- Dick says he wouldn't let his Hypothetical child be in the film
- "So you just let your kids get molested" other guest
- Do you want the government to step in - Dick
for sexualizing minors yes - baked - "I think they are bad parents" - baked
- " The pedophile thing just seems like the right wing version of screaming racist" Dick ( this is my talking point and I'm sticking to it)
- " you don't think the country is controlled by pedophiles" "no" ( Correct me if I'm wrong here but wasn't this one of his main points while talking to Josh that lolicon didn't really matter because Hollywood was controlled by pedophiles)
- Baked is sucking off Trump for a resting 600 child sex traffickers in LA
- Baked wants Dick to go to a save the children rally he sighs
- "It starts with talking about it and promoting healthy families that aren't sexualizing their kids" Baked "sounds like that's what the director did" Dick
- They are pushing for a reply on why he isn't morally outraged about it
- "he's just an extreme libertarian"
- "Why is it hard to say that's wrong" Baked "because parents are allowed to parent their kids" Dick
- Baked is pushing him on why he wouldn't let his daughter be in the film
- Sean is playing to both sides
- Talking about Tulsi gabbard showing the clip same argument about tweeting out clips of the film
- "I think it's funny" Dick
- end
Mint Salad
Dax raging at a show super-fan, Had, early into The Dick Show.Mint Salad was dating someone that was 31 years old when she was 16. Dax not only didn't have an issue with that, he got so upset he started to seethe at @Had for "airing someone's dirty laundry" and "ratting personal stuff out".
This is obviously a double standard because Juju had no issue with airing the dirty laundry of people on his X.
Dax and Riley's Exploitation
Dax and Riley allegedly sexually exploited an autistic girl by the name of Marie Hintsala (Mint Salad).For details of this, check out their thread: [thread will be written and link added]
Juju the Chaser
Dax simping for Amanda Lynn Morris, a self-professed lolicon paedophile who is the ex-wife of Ethan Ralph.She has a thread here.
She has since basically vanished. I hope she's putting all this gross baggage behind to look after her daughter.
Archive
Dave Chappelle Stunt
Vito and Dax went to a protest involving Dave Chappelle. This was in mainstream news. This was arguably the second time Juju was famous, since his Dr. Phil episode.Vito and Juju held signs. This was memed on by Kiwi Farms.
(Juju's funny jokes: pending)
Article: https://www.breitbart.com/entertain...oke-mob-at-netflix-protest-repent-motherfker/
Archive: https://archive.md/uPHkU
The most notable incident were counter-protesters dunking on the diddler duo.
The funnies outcome of this boring stunt was an exploitable template for the Kiwi Farms to meme on.
Dax's minor (fruitless type) endeavors
New Project Brew
Juju offered some white labelled coffee beans, it didn't last long and its gimmick was the beans were big. Like his forehead.Astounding and stupid.
Edgar N. Vective: Paranormal Detective
Juju wrote a stupid detective novel.Link | Archive
Dickels cryptocurrency
Juju made some worthless ERC20 shitcoin called Dickels, for whatever reason.https://thirdweb.com/polygon/0x7654Cd0171B7c3a6C8504795810f221a20C3Dc3f
He owns 99.9891% of this shitcoin.
Dax's Social Media
Twitter/X: https://x.com/dickmastersonYouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@BiggestProblem
Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/thedickshow
Dick has done work for porn stars to help them set up Wordpress blogs. All of his websites are just Wordpress blogs with some modifications. He's vaguely competent at the programming language PHP. His main website is The Dick Show.
His cohost Christopher Vito Gesualdi has a thread here.
Pictures of Dax Herrera throughout the years
Straightest man in California.
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This thread was originally a fan thread in Multimedia that morphed over time into critical discussion. The OP was replaced by 
