DC Comics Multimedia General - A crisis of infinite fuck ups

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It is high time for a Hitman re-read. Give me another comic that features:
- Catwoman purple suit costume
- Etrigan and Jason Blood, my favourite DC characters
- Six-Pack and Bueno Excellente
- Written by Garth Ennis
Very late but I still have a soft spot for the Hitman run.
The Engineer (The Authority, presumably) has leaked images out as she will be in Gunn's Superman movie.
Sigh. I want a The Wildstorm TV show instead.
Already shit.
I don't quite hate stuff involving Damian instinctively but when it's a Teen Titans movie and it's about Bat-Brat uniting them then I end up cursing and muttering.
 
Edit: I don't have a kino collage for B&R, but I'd like to include that Forever also gave us these:
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growing up one of my best friends lived down the street. We used to love partying at his house because he was born no shit when his dad was 70 and his mom was 64 so his parents were old and literally let us do anything because they didn't care they thought they were done with his middle brother who was 30 when he was born. anyways his mom used to make lemon lime Gatorade from the powder every couple days and we'd ALWAYS use these cups. by high school they became our booze glasses and when his mom died (RIP Marie) he kept a glass and gave one to me and one to our other friend who lived in the neighborhood when we were kids and it's one of my most prized possessions. Every time I use it I smile and think about his mom bringing Gatorade in a pitcher downstairs to us oblivious of the fact we were totally wasted while we beat the fuck out of each other in Marvel Super Heroes on PS1.
The original Dick Greyson Teen Titans have gone their separate ways, until Damian Wayne recruits Starfire, Raven, Beast Boy and Kid Flash to join him in a fight against his grandfather Ra’s al Ghul.
it sounds like titans but even gayer.
 
and Reeves seemingly took all the wrong lessons from TDK, making a more realistic film that played more into politics and was much more dark.
meh, i think Reeves did a pretty good job of bringing back a lot of the character gotham had in the 90s films mixed with the realism of the nolan films. its not as camp as the 90s films but its at least bi-curious. You can't tell me the flooding of the city or penguin's entire Italian stereotype wasn't absurd as shit. doesn't batman eat shit during his flying attempt and ragdoll a mile too? if it was a "real" film he would have fucking died from that. then there's the bit where gordon fights him thats straight out of a fucking 80s comedy. there were easily multiple episodes of TAS that were more serious and grounded than that film. the literal cartoon called "the batman" was barely less realistic
 
meh, i think Reeves did a pretty good job of bringing back a lot of the character gotham had in the 90s films mixed with the realism of the nolan films. its not as camp as the 90s films but its at least bi-curious. You can't tell me the flooding of the city or penguin's entire Italian stereotype wasn't absurd as shit. doesn't batman eat shit during his flying attempt and ragdoll a mile too? if it was a "real" film he would have fucking died from that. then there's the bit where gordon fights him thats straight out of a fucking 80s comedy. there were easily multiple episodes of TAS that were more serious and grounded than that film. the literal cartoon called "the batman" was barely less realistic
I agree with you entirely but has anyone mentioned why that movie sucks? Batman fuckin' loses. He does detective shit the whole movie which is dope but he doesn't solve shit. he never solves the riddlers plan. he just turns himself in and just flat out tells Batman what he was doing and Batman had no goddamn idea what his endgame was. the movie is 3 hours of Batman doing detective work and failing at it miserably. World's greatest detective my dick. I loved the movie but it makes Batman look like a complete retard.
 
meh, i think Reeves did a pretty good job of bringing back a lot of the character gotham had in the 90s films mixed with the realism of the nolan films. its not as camp as the 90s films but its at least bi-curious. You can't tell me the flooding of the city or penguin's entire Italian stereotype wasn't absurd as shit. doesn't batman eat shit during his flying attempt and ragdoll a mile too? if it was a "real" film he would have fucking died from that. then there's the bit where gordon fights him thats straight out of a fucking 80s comedy. there were easily multiple episodes of TAS that were more serious and grounded than that film. the literal cartoon called "the batman" was barely less realistic
I cannot disagree more, Gotham in The Batman has even less character than Gotham in Batman Begins. In fact, it's basically a discount Batman Begins' Gotham trying to ape Se7en and certainly nowhere near the charm of the 90s era Gotham which inspired the whole look of BTAS.
I agree with you entirely but has anyone mentioned why that movie sucks? Batman fuckin' loses. He does detective shit the whole movie which is dope but he doesn't solve shit. he never solves the riddlers plan. he just turns himself in and just flat out tells Batman what he was doing and Batman had no goddamn idea what his endgame was. the movie is 3 hours of Batman doing detective work and failing at it miserably. World's greatest detective my dick. I loved the movie but it makes Batman look like a complete retard.
I don't mind Batman being outwitted but they achieve this by making him a total moron. For a guy that does more fancy detective work than every other live-action Batman, he's somehow dumber than any of them. Even fucking George Clooney showed more intelligence in Batman & Robin.
 
I cannot disagree more, Gotham in The Batman has even less character than Gotham in Batman Begins. In fact, it's basically a discount Batman Begins' Gotham trying to ape Se7en and certainly nowhere near the charm of the 90s era Gotham which inspired the whole look of BTAS.

I don't mind Batman being outwitted but they achieve this by making him a total moron. For a guy that does more fancy detective work than every other live-action Batman, he's somehow dumber than any of them. Even fucking George Clooney showed more intelligence in Batman & Robin.
I think one problem is the difficulty of writing an intelligent character (thing about Sherlock being a Wizard and the No Country For Old Men Guy goes here), and also writing an intelligent character doing detective shit in a way that people who go to see Captain Punch beat up The Inscrutable Bulge
 
Already shit.
I keep thinking of how much a more interesting premise it'd been if Bruce Wayne's biological son was not only a bit older but he was also unaware of Bruce's double life, and he was openly critical of Batman.

And it wouldn't even be resolved in the most obvious way either.
 
I don't quite hate stuff involving Damian instinctively but when it's a Teen Titans movie and it's about Bat-Brat uniting them then I end up cursing and muttering.
The Battle of the Supersons animated movie was about the only representation I've ever seen that got away with making Damian Wayne bearable. And it does it without changing him from still being an asshole, which is really quite some testament to the writing. Pairing him with the cheerful and positive (but not gay!) Jonathan Kent manages to balance things out quite well.

Ordinarily he's unbearable.
 
I don't quite hate stuff involving Damian instinctively but when it's a Teen Titans movie and it's about Bat-Brat uniting them then I end up cursing and muttering.
What is it with DC and refusing to use the actual New Teen Titans team save a sidekick (Donna, Wally) here and there?

If they want the NTT, INCLUDING Dick Grayson himself, use THEM as teens. If they want Damian, use Damian and his generation of teen heroes so far (Jon, Ace, Emiko, etc.) and build 'em up since they're fresh and have story possibilities. Reminds me of the obsession of Cyborg as a Justice Leaguer (even if we know WHY that happened), or the DC Animated Movie Universe making Beast Boy and Raven being young vs adult Dick and Starfire, or so forth. Like, the Titans regained their traditional comic cultural relevance (IMO they've always been DC's second major team since introduction) with the '04 show.... why does DC refuse to build up on that success?
 
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I don't mind Batman being outwitted but they achieve this by making him a total moron. For a guy that does more fancy detective work than every other live-action Batman, he's somehow dumber than any of them. Even fucking George Clooney showed more intelligence in Batman & Robin.
Yeah exactly, it's kinda cool if the villain has the upper hand but Batman didn't need to be a dumbass. my favorite part of the movie was when Penguin tells Batman and Gordon they're fucking idiots and their Spanish is terrible. The Batman is a strange case. While watching it I absolutely love it but as soon as I think about it, it falls apart.

Seeing Batman do detective work and his opening monologue go a long way making me enjoy it while watching it. however, even that opening monologue falls apart because it's all about how everyone is scared of him and the shadows, and that's directly followed by him stepping out of the shadows and that joker gang or whatever laughing at him when they see him.
 
Like, the Titans regained their traditional comic cultural relevance (IMO they've always been DC's second major team since introduction) with the '04 show.... why does DC refuse to build up on that success?
Just a rumor I heard, but it sounds like Titans 03, and by extension Young Justice, always got wildly different audiences than what WB was expecting (7-10 year old boys). WB then decides to cancel the series as they cannot adapt to the audience shift.

By this, I mean that the series gets mostly older viewers, many times being more heavily female than expected. I want to say viewership was a good 30-40% female if not more. WB was apparently to incompetent to do anything with this in the 00s and early 10s, which is why Go was designed for young children.

Nowadays it seems like WB is trying more often to adapt to these weird shifts, but it is too little to late. They had a few Raven themed YA novels and that Bat Family web-toon comic that were clearly aimed at girls. Then there was that awful Titans shows, which somehow pulled 4 seasons off a female fanbase.

The original Dick Greyson Teen Titans have gone their separate ways, until Damian Wayne recruits Starfire, Raven, Beast Boy and Kid Flash to join him in a fight against his grandfather Ra’s al Ghul.
I don't mind Damian, but I hate how they are starting with him. If nothing else, I will probably see this film with the sister. She loves the little brat.
 
I'm disappointed because I've always wanted the father son Batman movies with Dick Grayson. I don't give a fuck about Damien. I can't believe he's been around almost 20 years now, it makes sense at this point they'd use him he's been Robin for most of my life now.

I've talked about this maybe here, maybe in the MCU thread but I spend a lot of time with niggers in the hood. I live and work in the hood. anyways, niggas LOVE dc and love those animated movies. If you were ever wondering who's still buying those besides me it's black dudes in their 20s and 30s. I'm talking whenever one comes out it's like a bbq, booze and weed night in some shit hole house where 8 black dudes and me and another token white dude are watching them while they hoot and holler and yell "GAH DAMN", "OH SHIIIIEEET", and "THAT WAS TIGHT" during fight scenes. these dudes love Damian Wayne.

Their entire knowledge of DC comes from cartoons, tv & movies generally. they don't give a shit about anything but cool action. they like Damian for exactly the reason everyone else things he's an annoying insufferable character. they think the Snyder movies are the greatest superhero movies ever made and titans is the best tv show. it's a weird phenomenon. when Gunns DC movies arrive if they're more like the MCU these dudes are going to be heartbroken. but I guarantee you ill be hearing "that lil nigga Damien was a BEAST" for weeks after that teen titans movie comes out even if its terrible.

I wish everyone could experience how hilarious being a superhero fan in the hood is. I had a dude over once who had just seen Justice League Dark and this negro pillaged my bookshelf for Alan Moore Swamp Thing. I was like bro you aren't going to like that shit. I was wrong this dude a week later is talking about it the way the letters pages must have looked in 1985. He then told me they're the only books he's read since he graduated high school a decade ago and the next time I was at his house he showed off he spent his last 3 paychecks buying the entirety of swamp thing collected books that exist.

The same dude knows superman is my favorite character and asked to borrow my DVDs of the Reeve movies and hated them, I told him he'd think they suck but he was like bro these the movies everyone wants superman to be like? this shit pussy bro superman gave up his powers for a BITCH? hell naw Zod shoulda killed that fag boy. It's seriously the funniest shit ever to interact with these dudes on superhero material.
 
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Chip Zdaesky confirm Batman bisexual.
 
I've talked about this maybe here, maybe in the MCU thread but I spend a lot of time with niggers in the hood. I live and work in the hood. anyways, niggas LOVE dc and love those animated movies. If you were ever wondering who's still buying those besides me it's black dudes in their 20s and 30s. I'm talking whenever one comes out it's like a bbq, booze and weed night in some shit hole house where 8 black dudes and me and another token white dude are watching them while they hoot and holler and yell "GAH DAMN", "OH SHIIIIEEET", and "THAT WAS TIGHT" during fight scenes. these dudes love Damian Wayne.

Their entire knowledge of DC comes from cartoons, tv & movies generally. they don't give a shit about anything but cool action. they like Damian for exactly the reason everyone else things he's an annoying insufferable character. they think the Snyder movies are the greatest superhero movies ever made and titans is the best tv show. it's a weird phenomenon. when Gunns DC movies arrive if they're more like the MCU these dudes are going to be heartbroken. but I guarantee you ill be hearing "that lil nigga Damien was a BEAST" for weeks after that teen titans movie comes out even if its terrible.
White women are like this as well. Damian has a massive fanbase of girls usually similar to or as big as Dick’s thanks to those animated Titans films in the 2010s.

He fulfills a niche for a kid character. I think Tim Drake in BTAS was much the same, but Damian is like an advanced version of what people took to. Now he has a girl fandom of people who think he is cute, alongside fujos.
 
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White women are like this as well. Damian has a massive fanbase of girls usually similar to or as big as Dick’s thanks to those animated Titans films in the 2010s.

He fulfills a niche for a kid character. I think Tim Drake in BTAS was much the same, but Damian is like an advanced version of what people took to. Now he has a girl fandom of people who think he is cute, alongside fujos.
I think the appeal of Damien to black dudes basically comes down to he uses swords and is more of a mini-batman in personality and attitude than the other robins. They love edgy shit man, I notice they all also love Nightwing but seem to think his personality is more like red hood than dick.

Another funny story about a different black dude I know is he's my age so he was watching teen titans in elementary school and dick is his favorite superhero. anyways this dude invited me over to show me his in progress rap album (which was horrible) when we were 22 or something and then was like boy wait til you see what else I'm working on. I expected some other shitty rap thing but no.

This dude was writing a nightwing movie in a notebook and he was like this is gonna take us places and it was the single funniest story I've ever read. Essentially it was a hood ass dudes self insert fan fiction that was Nightwing basically one upping Batman in every way taking out every major villain on his own time and banging every female dc character you've ever heard of. it was amazing. the only specific line I remember is poison ivy was trying to get Nightwing to stay with her and he said "I'm sorry, but I got a fine ass alien princess waiting for me at home and I've spent too long here with you thanks for the help maybe ill stay over next time" I'm not making this up it was glorious.
 
I think the appeal of Damien to black dudes basically comes down to he uses swords and is more of a mini-batman in personality and attitude than the other robins. They love edgy shit man, I notice they all also love Nightwing but seem to think his personality is more like red hood than dick.

Another funny story about a different black dude I know is he's my age so he was watching teen titans in elementary school and dick is his favorite superhero. anyways this dude invited me over to show me his in progress rap album (which was horrible) when we were 22 or something and then was like boy wait til you see what else I'm working on. I expected some other shitty rap thing but no.

This dude was writing a nightwing movie in a notebook and he was like this is gonna take us places and it was the single funniest story I've ever read. Essentially it was a hood ass dudes self insert fan fiction that was Nightwing basically one upping Batman in every way taking out every major villain on his own time and banging every female dc character you've ever heard of. it was amazing. the only specific line I remember is poison ivy was trying to get Nightwing to stay with her and he said "I'm sorry, but I got a fine ass alien princess waiting for me at home and I've spent too long here with you thanks for the help maybe ill stay over next time" I'm not making this up it was glorious.
That is some funny shit. Surprised black guys don't take more to Jason. You would think that guy who is willing to kill and is built like a brickhouse would be considered more bad ass.
 
That is some funny shit. Surprised black guys don't take more to Jason. You would think that guy who is willing to kill would be considered more bad ass.
from my anecdotal experience with guys I know they do like Jason a lot but I think Dick and Damien are looked at more fondly from BTAS & Teen Titans nostalgia, and Damien being the new current Robin. and also a lot of people got turned off by Jason because these guys were all pissed they hyped up Arkham Knight as a new character and it was just under the hood again. If Jason was in the cartoons they grew up with I guarantee he'd be their #1.

I actually forgot the funniest part of that story thinking about it for the first time in years made me remember that there was a scene where Batgirl and Nightwing are in the hood and essentially Barbara is scared and Dick is like don't worry baby we'll be fine and all the hood niggas are like NIGHTWING MY BOY COME ON IN and they go into a trap house and everyone just openly gives him information for no reason because apparently the hood is down with nightwing and snitches get stitches unless dick Grayson is who you're snitching to.

the other things I remember is literally every scene in this dudes "movie" Nightwing is ALWAYS opposite a female DC character and no effort involved make them wet, and I never knew if they were a voiceover or deshauns personal notes working out the story but there was random lines diving into dick's thought process and the poison ivy thing I mentioned included something along the lines of "was she a woman, or a plant? I don't know. Can he even fuck her? Does she have a pussy or a flower bulb? But she's gorgeous and its not just her pheromones talking" god I wish it wasn't a notebook and it was typed up because I'd post and share it I swear to god it was a masterpiece.

I'm going to ask him in the next few days if he still has it because it's been a few years but I see him all the time and ill post the best parts if he's got it
 
from my anecdotal experience with guys I know they do like Jason a lot but I think Dick and Damien are looked at more fondly from BTAS & Teen Titans nostalgia, and Damien being the new current Robin. and also a lot of people got turned off by Jason because these guys were all pissed they hyped up Arkham Knight as a new character and it was just under the hood again. If Jason was in the cartoons they grew up with I guarantee he'd be their #1.

I actually forgot the funniest part of that story thinking about it for the first time in years made me remember that there was a scene where Batgirl and Nightwing are in the hood and essentially Barbara is scared and Dick is like don't worry baby we'll be fine and all the hood niggas are like NIGHTWING MY BOY COME ON IN and they go into a trap house and everyone just openly gives him information for no reason because apparently the hood is down with nightwing and snitches get stitches unless dick Grayson is who you're snitching to.

the other things I remember is literally every scene in this dudes "movie" Nightwing is ALWAYS opposite a female DC character and no effort involved make them wet, and I never knew if they were a voiceover or deshauns personal notes working out the story but there was random lines diving into dick's thought process and the poison ivy thing I mentioned included something along the lines of "was she a woman, or a plant? I don't know. Can he even fuck her? Does she have a pussy or a flower bulb? But she's gorgeous and its not just her pheromones talking" god I wish it wasn't a notebook and it was typed up because I'd post and share it I swear to god it was a masterpiece.

I'm going to ask him in the next few days if he still has it because it's been a few years but I see him all the time and ill post the best parts if he's got it
Basically his narrative:

The sad part is that his story is basically how DC writers write Knightwing these days, so his movie probably would get made.
 
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@Basic Blond Boy I shit you not the dialogue in this 'script' was verbatim what this video is like. It was the funniest thing I have ever read. he also kept mentioning in the story dick grayson is a black dude and I'd like to think he was aiming for the wayans Burton Batman thing but I was like oh shit this is just you, you want to be Batman's son who's way cooler and fucks every superhero or super villain girl in the dc universe lol I'd sell my soul to see this movie made with him as the star because removed from any of this he's unintentionally a hilarious guy and it would be so much better to see a movie where some retarded chief keef worshipping nigga is nightwing who gets ALL the pussy in the dc universe and keeps his dad in check because that pussy boy can't even keep Joker in Arkham asylum for a week when dick grayson can without effort take down every villain ever and still have time to dick down his alien gf graphically as the final scene of the movie
 
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