Defendant: Ethan Oliver Ralph - Ethan Ralph's Documented Legal Troubles & Other Court Docs

TriggerMeElmo said:
His eyes were on the road for maybe 1 second of that entire clip. It would be a shame if he did more of these.

True Ralphamales use only the finest Ubers. Better than limousines! Five star days all the way!
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With his ability to look in two different directions you'd think he'd be able to keep at least one eye on the road.
 
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Hard Toothbrush said:
I love it when people over-invested in a cow get upset when things don't go the way they thought they'd go. Honestly among the most consistently funny moments on this forum.
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This is why DSP is unironically cool. The bankruptcy saga proved divinity and made people lose their shit at the same time.
not william stenchever said:
The Portuguese surgeon who worked on his orbital bone was not a fan of the Killstream.
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If I were to think about it, if was actually YOU was not a fan of the Killstream. The doctor gave him opioids, so he the Doc was a huge fan. Ralph even bragged about it.

Hell, that's probably why he went back. Makes more sense than anything else.
 
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John Andrews Stan said:
How many days elapsed between him celebrating his suspended sentence in January and getting his ass beat in Portugal? Maybe I’m mixing up the timelines but I think it was a week later or maybe less.
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it was exactly three weeks, january 5th to january 26th. ah, memories.

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DSP had dumped thousand of dollars into a pay-to-win wrestling videogame. That is effectively what Ralph is doing, only in real life where the victories are subjective and tenuous.

I think the difficulties that might arise from re-jailing Ralph come down to questions regarding his species and whether it would be legal for him to be penned in an area that has not been zoned as agricultural. On the other hand there is probably some archaic law on the books that permits a pig to take the reins of a horse and cart, and that is what keeps him on the road.
 
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You know how we all secretly admire retarded people because they are happy all the time, while at the same time we pity them for their stupidity?

And here we have Ralph, who walked out of court after paying a fine for speeding, celebrating that life is good staring down the barrel of 17 years child support, the need to find a new home he can't afford, and who lost all his friends recently who he found out were conspiring to remove him from their membership.

Life is good for the Ralphamale. When you celebrate events like being ticketed, beaten (twice), losing the friends you wanted and are stuck with child support and restraining orders, pulling off getting a girl drunk enough to suck you off you know that you've made a special kind of grade as a human. This is what life looks like at the short end of the stick, where "getting away" from your lowest civil responsibilities are wins, and true success is just something for others like on TV or in the movies. This is white-trash wonderland where the filter is twisted and your brain has been rewired to take joy in the things others find repulsive. The next step will be for him to enjoy literally eating shit...oh no! Wait a second...
 
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He probably cried in court like he said he does when he was talking to Gator and like Faith said he did when she saw him in court as well. He just cries to the judge like a big fat baby "PLEASE PLEASE YAR AWHNUR! DON' PUT ME BACK IN JAIL! I AM SO SCARED! I STILL HAVE NIGHTMARES FROM LAST TIME! PLEASE!" abloo abloo abloo and the judge takes pity on the big fat pathetic snot covered mess. Very womanly behavior.
 
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I wonder what Ralph told the judge.

"Please ya honaw, that damn pedophile Jawshua Moon and the cyberbullyin site he runs, the Karen Farms were tryin to dox my location so that I would get served with lawsuit papers. They want me broke and in jail, but the Ralphamale don't lose. So I was tryin to get back to my family to get them to safety before some kiwi farm faggot dumps more corn cobs on my lawn and spooks my horsebride again"
 
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3322 said:
He probably cried in court like he said he does when he was talking to Gator and like Faith said he did when she saw him in court as well. He just cries to the judge like a big fat baby "PLEASE PLEASE YAR AWHNUR! DON' PUT ME BACK IN JAIL! I AM SO SCARED! I STILL HAVE NIGHTMARES FROM LAST TIME! PLEASE!" abloo abloo abloo and the judge takes pity on the big fat pathetic snot covered mess. Very womanly behavior.
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His ultimate powermove would be putting on a bit of eyeshadow and transforming into Athena Olivia Ralph. He would become legally untouchable.
 
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3322 said:
He probably cried in court like he said he does when he was talking to Gator and like Faith said he did when she saw him in court as well. He just cries to the judge like a big fat baby "PLEASE PLEASE YAR AWHNUR! DON' PUT ME BACK IN JAIL! I AM SO SCARED! I STILL HAVE NIGHTMARES FROM LAST TIME! PLEASE!" abloo abloo abloo and the judge takes pity on the big fat pathetic snot covered mess. Very womanly behavior.
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UCantCCPMe said:
I wonder what Ralph told the judge.

"Please ya honaw, that damn pedophile Jawshua Moon and the cyberbullyin site he runs, the Karen Farms were tryin to dox my location so that I would get served with lawsuit papers. They want me broke and in jail, but the Ralphamale don't lose. So I was tryin to get back to my family to get them to safety before some kiwi farm faggot dumps more corn cobs on my lawn and spooks my horsebride again"
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not william stenchever said:
His ultimate powermove would be putting on a bit of eyeshadow and transforming into Athena Olivia Ralph. He would become legally untouchable.
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Ralph is Samantha Upton's biggest paypig. She's the one who did all dat law-talkin' boolshit to knock down his charge.
 
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