2009, Sonora Province.
A drug cartel has captured a rising star in Mexican politics, because they have promoted anti-corruption campaigns
Other hostages include reporters from both the US and Mexico
We do not bow down to threats, and to this end, a taskforce of the best officers of both countries have been sent in to exfiltrate the hostages, and if possible get information on the whereabouts of their leader
*The scene opens up in an industrial district of Hermosillo, the largest city of Sonora, and location of the crisis. The focus of the scene is on a warehouse yard that used to cater to automobile manufacturing, closed down due to financial pressure.*
"...we originally had the story set in Chihuahua, but Gloria kept giggling and making purse jokes."
Tram: Hey, I'm trying to set the tension here!
Gloria: ...lemme guess, if we trip an alarm, it plays 'la cucaracha'?
Tram: Cut that shit. Now where was I?
*From a low lying apartment flat, a pair of shadowy figures are observing the building.*
Aidan: Sounds like my and your character’s up Onan.
Onan: "Do I have the snipe ability? Or... what's my stealth?"
Gloria: I am sneaking behind the old cargo containers in the back, making note of the gang rotations.- psst, your perception is here, use the binoculars.
Chris: the binoculars give you +4 on your perception rolls...
Onan (flips character sheet over): Oh yeah, I have nightvision binoculars in my equipment. I use them to look at... over there.
The two man sniper team activates their nightvision binoculars, using them to sweep across the compound. They find –
Aidan: This is the part where you roll this die.
Onan: Oh, alright.
*Onan rolls, allowing you to see him for the first time. He’s a chubby guy with a clean face, shortly cropped hair, and wearing an ironed button shirt and pants. Gloria can also be seen, and she’s a diminutive lady with extremely long but thinning hair, wearing an mixture of colored clothes that most resembles a Mayan style dress. She is currently knitting something*
Onan: Uhh… I got a 9. Is that good?
Gloria: Don’t look like a kicked puppy; with your stats, you should at least see something.
*cut to scene to show the effect of the roll*
They find four men on the roof, looking semi-alert. They also spot a set patrol between another four men.
Aidan: They really like fours huh?
Tram: It’s so they have back-up! They’re doing illegal things, now shush!
Aidan: Or I can use my muffled Dragunov to pop the guy in the back’s head when the others aren’t looking, which should be…
Gloria (semi-sarcastically): Since I'm the only one here who took Spanish as a language skill, try to creep in closer to possibly overhear conversations. ESPECIALLY because for all you know, you didn't catch all the gunmen with that sweep.
Tram: *laughs*
Gloria: *to Tram* I'm so glad Frank isn't playing, he'd have told you everything you're doing wrong, I bet.
Chris: So when do I go? I rolled up a trap expert, giving me a +2 bonus to traps and ambushes. I have rigged up five pounds of Semtex into a configuration that guarantees splash damage.
Onan: Um, weren’t we trying to gain information? If we *slight edge in voice* kill *voice* them, wouldn’t we mess this up?
Chris: There would be no survivors.
*Gloria’s character sneaks by one of the patrols, overhearing some information on where the politician is at least. Sadly it is stated that two hostages have already been killed. She waves Chris in during a small gap she was able to spot. The two manage to sneak into the base.*
Onan: We're getting information. People have died? Who died? Do we know? Did we fail?
Aidan: Calm down, it wasn't the VIP.
Onan: Did people die because of us?!? But people died. Because of us! How can you not care!
Chris: Because the reporters are non-important NPCs that would grant us only 50 EXP for saving, while our target would be worth far more, even if she should die.
*Aidan makes a cutting motion across his throat to Chris*
Aidan: Onan, how're the patrols looking on the roof?
Onan: Uh... well they-
Aidan: Dice dude, dice.
Onan: But why? I already rolled for it, right?
Gloria: A competent DM would have the guards move in between our clowning. That's why you need to double check.
Tram: Wait, did you call me competent?
Gloria: My standards aren't that high. Besides, you read off a pretty good intro at least.
Onan: I see (dice roll)...
Tram: Only two guys, both looking away.
Aidan: I level the sniper rifle and... Onan, what's the scope say?
Onan: Scope? I... uh.. (flips character sheet) Oh, I have one. It says... (looks hopefully to Tram).
Chris (to Aidan): If he uses the scope properly, you'll get a +4 aiming bonus.
Aidan: Duh, I know. I made the character. Anyway, I take the shot, double-tapping on them both.
*The two guys drop like flies, but an exclamation from one of the other roof watchers can be heard.*
Aidan: I drop the rifle and lean over to tell my partner we need to bolt.
Onan: Okay? I, uh, go with Aidan.
*Gloria and Chris, meanwhile, are murderdeathing a patrol on the ground floor.*
Chris: My build allows me to reroll one botched trap per session. I have rolled an 18. There are no survivors.
Gloria: I send the signal to the other two that it's all clear and to join us.
*It is at this point Onan and Aidan make it to the other two, then start stealthing up to the upper floor where the VIP is thought to be held captive. Then the store's door chime rings... The avatars of the players look up in fear, thinking they triggered an alarm.*
*Some whispering between Tram and Stephen. Tram sounds more and more baffled until you clearly hear him sigh*
Tram: Are... are you serious? (evil grin) Okay then... Tell the others how you join them.
Gloria: And here comes the TPK.
Onan: TP what?
Chris, forlorn: And there were no survivors.
Aidan: Whoa, Chris. That was almost a joke!
(beat)
Chris: What?
Stephen: Miyamoto kicks down the door and unsheathes his daikatana! "YOU DISHONORABLE PEONS!"
*There is a period of silence in the room
No one is moving or saying anything. Onan looks utterly baffled at what any of what Stephen meant, Aidan just looking on in horror, Chris is muttering while holding his head in his hands repeating "no survivors", and Gloria just facepalms and preemptively rips her sheet in half.
When next we cut to the session, the lights go on In-Character. Stealth Team Alpha is pinned up against a wall in shock, like deer in headlights.*
*Some cartel gunmen who were aware of what's happening as orders in Spanish are being barked out. Gloria's character knows that they are stating that the hostages will be executed and the VIP moved to another location. She is pissed that their quarry is getting away.
In the meantime, Miyamoto, their late member, is dressed in a horrifying manner. He has Ragna the Blood-edge's hair (BlazBlue) is wearing Simon's glasses (Gurren Lagann), is wearing Vash the Stampede's Jacket (Trigun) and is wielding a sword that is some bastard mix between Guts' (Berserk) and Sephiroth's (FF7). He is wearing traditional Japanese sandals as well as Mugen's vest over Vash's Jacket. Alucard's (Hellsing) hat failing to keep in his hair. This is the exact opposite of the relatively sanely designed characters the rest of Alpha Team is made up of.
One of the gunmen mocks this guy in spanish.*
Chris: Is now a good time to mention I have a deadman's switch?
Tram: *laughs* Nahh, I checked your sheet remember? And last I checked, you didn't actually have the time to make one. You wasted it on that trap that also drew in more guards. So just sit down and take what's coming to ya.
Aidan: This is bullshit.
Onan: Language! Besides, this Michimarta guy sounds like he might be able to help us get out of this just fine.
Stephen: It's MIYAMOTO! And WE WILL BE FINE! I'M A MASTER SWORDSMAN! These peons are nothing compared to me.
* Gloria, both in and out of character, is checking her watch.*
Gloria to Chris: You gamble? Because I wanna wager that this kid kacks it in three rounds.
*Onan out of character starts jingling the change in his pocket in anxiety. Onan is pointedly ignoring the wagering by humming a psalm at the same time*
Chris: Alright, I predict based on standard dice loadout that it is statistically possible that not all of us will die. I give the odds of one of us surviving at approximately 34%. If the rolls are higher than average by at least two points in our favor, the odds improve dramatically, to 60%.
*Gloria nods, shoves Onan into Chris*
Gloria: Get the kid to safety, I'll distract him and find another way out. Aidan, you deal with Miyamoto.
*As Chris gets Onan to safety, he states this*
Chris: There is no chance of Stephen surviving with that build barring critting every roll and the enemy botching every one of theirs.
Onan: We're leaving him to die?!? Isn't he one of ours?!?
Chris: Based on this plan, at worst only three of us will die. As opposed if we stand as one.
Onan: Oh god... I pray all our comrades make it out alive. I pray for the forgiveness in the lives we have taken and those we have imperiled.
Chris: God gives no bonuses in game. If we were playing Dungeons and Dragons however…
Onan tilting his head, "God? Are we playing that game next? Wait, isn't that the Dark Dungeons one? I read about that! I don't want to commit suicide!
*As Onan starts praying for Chris’ soul, Aidan, Gloria, and Stephen are facing the cartel’s guards in a fight. They are heavily outnumbered and effectively surrounded*
Aidan: This was the first session, and this is how it ends…
Gloria: It happens sometimes. At least we lasted longer than my group’s first experience with Tomb of Horrors. Besides, the kid might draw in enough fire to allow us to escape into the night.
Stephen: Enough defeatist talk! This is a golden opportunity to show that our mettle is greater than our unrighteous foes! By the blessing of Bishamonten, I draw Juuchi Yosamu and kill as many as I can in an iejutsu duel!
*Stephen’s character Miyamoto manages to quickly charge forward, draw his blade, and gut three different gunmen, killing two almost instantly. However, as he crows about his successful victory, he is shot at by the remaining gunmen, as he is the nearest threat to them distance wise*
Stephen: Hey, that’s a load of shit! My character has the feat “parry”!
Tram: Bro, your dumb sword isn’t going to parry a bullet. They break the sound barrier for crying out loud.
Stephen: Fuck you! I’m rolling this out.
*Tram looks at Stephen like he was some alien life form as he rolls his dice. Aiden and Gloria look to one another as Chris is reading a pamphlet Onan gave him as he sheepishly walks away from the group at the argument happening before them*
Stephen: Hah! 15! Add that to my base skill and-
Tram: The bullets still slam into Miyamoto and will likely turn him into hamburger meat.
*Cut to Miyamoto being gunned down by the cartel members. He’s not dead, but you can hear his wet gasping breaths as he thrashes weakly on the-*
Stephen: Oh come on! Even with a DC 30 I should totally have that!
Tram: The DC is so high as to make anything you say pointless.
Stephen: This is bullshit! You’re intentionally doing this to kill me!
Aiden: So… can we try to escape as they’re gunning him down?
*Aiden and Gloria use their focus on Miyamoto being murdered to nonexistence to try and escape, they are not alone however as some cartel members chase after them shooting them.*
Stephen: And now you’re letting them live. Dude, I drive all the way here, got us our food, and you do this to me. You owe me gas money dude!
Aidan: Well, we’re still being chased and might die during it.
Gloria: It isn’t like he’s picking on you kid; you played stupid this time.
Chris: So why is repenting important if I already follow God and Jesus?
Onan: Well, you have to reaffirm-
*The store door opens, and in walks a… lady? Well, maybe. The person did an okay job shaving and using makeup, but the stubble can be still seen over the foundation. Their hair is fairly long, and needs combing. They probably should’ve picked a better highlight too, since the blue and green highlights just scream toxic frog. Their clothes don’t match, as the kilt they don utterly fails to match the blouse they’re wearing. Quickly perusing through some White Wolf stuff, they notice the brewing argument and see Aidan. Aidan only has one second’s warning as this person walks imperiously up to the clownery*
Hayden: Omigawd, I’ve seen you before.
*Aidan turns and looks at this person who addressed him, and pales a bit in recognition. The fight dies down as this new person’s words and appearance is one they have never seen before. Onan flushes and mutters an excuse to leave, while everyone but Gloria and Aidan stare. Gloria just sets a seat for the new person without caring as Hayden sits down next to Aidan, who is internally screaming right now.*
Hayden: How rude! So Transtales, what are you doing hanging out with cis scum like them? And did you finish the transition yet?
*Aidan sinks into the chair, mumbling something that sounds like “fuck my life…”*
