literally nobody is reading about your fan-fiction about whatever you were trying to say, but I've just logged on to say its dumb so i may as well tell you
1-your formatting is horrible, and by that i mean it a wall of text maybe space out your text instead, i had to unfuck up the text just to make it barely readable, even then, we have spellchecker, in this case you might need it because some of the words are spelled wrong and the formatting for sentience don't make sense at all there are examples like "Shinji recovers amd he is living alone in a block.", "The UN Socialist Eagle notice that the "demons” are being known to the public. They now want to cover it up because of the threat to the public.", "tried fo impale", "the country skde", "and he want into a movie theater showing ZSP propaganda", "The closer they get, the more they hurt themsoves" and "Then they return homeWhile sleeping," for a few picks, can you at least read what you have written before posting on the internet for everybody to see?
2-wtf is the point of the story, identity politics bad? big government bad? is this all a allegory for the media from 2014-2XXX? teachers are evil and want to make you obey? OK maybe that last one i agree but for reasons that are legitimately too traumatic for me to get into but still, even if i agree with some of the points you are trying to convey, the way you are doing it is on par with any terrible show with a "message" of any sort, it does not matter if its the best message in the world, nobody will listen to it if your song sounds like (s h i t), as i like to say.
3-i don't understand what is even happening who are these people what the (f u c k) is a demon, are they Buddha demons? whats a newtype? i don't understand, this is why you upload to fanfiction.net or other websites that cater to things like this, nobody who is new will understand who the (h e l l) these people even are, i may as well imagine that Freddy fazbear is inside of a robotink mech fighting the cyberdemon in the middle of japan.
4-even if i have not seen evangelion, i know that this is not what the thing even is, from what I've heard it is meant to ask the question "what would it be like if students piloted mechs to fight monsters" and the answer was "it would be traumatic and disturbing", this is not that, nor is it a love letter for mech fight shows like "power rangers" even, i'm sure whoever the (f u c k) is traumatized at people having sex after seeing dead corpses everywhere when he walked to watch "america the new order", no i don't give a (s h i t) what was actually on the screen, that's how little i cared.
5-grammar, use it, if you can't spell a word, find another way to convey what you want to say here.
6-as much as i want to scream in "agnony" for all these horrible misspellings i may as well try to understand what the story is even about, the only things i can understand is
-demons invade earth
-news corporations bad
-indoctrinating kids
-sex is ew
-mech fight good
-tanks are "detsoyed"
-blackout happens
-new laws were derailed
-"offcial" narratives bad, my narratives good.
-phone call with grimace
-more mech fight
-demons are from the mond
-oddly specific differences
-talking
-Freddy try's "sudicide" and gets trapped in "hnit 1"
-"traumatic flashback and that his father killed his wife"
-grimace "was staging everything"
-"We know now the 4th children"
-the system is corrupted.
-mech is now "cannibalising"
-seeing people naked
-"sicentist" bad (i guess this is a analog to fauci which is fair, unless this person is talking about all doctors which in that case that is insane)
-atheist and communist are the same apparently, you know i thought communism is a far left political ideology based on the ideas or Karl mark's while atheism is a lack of believe in any god of any sort, and that these two don't have to be together, you know that a person can be a atheist and not be a communist, and one can be a communist and still believe in some form a higher power, i mean lets be real, there are people who believe in pagan religions, maybe it all the children blood i drink but i don't see why you have to believe in a political ideology if you don't believe in a god
-also atheist are all evil demon worshipers and "hate hate god", his words
-i've "startedl" a word salad
-save me from this "tirtured" i promise i will "bphaving"
-Freddy "is now a women"
-also its called "Neon Genesis Evangelion"
-at this point i've started to tone out the suto-intellectual talk and instead imagined thanos shaking his ass in my face
-Freddy "is a dependent cuck" also Bonnie is a karen
-who the fuck is a clone blah blah blah they are cucks blah blah blah echo chamber blah blah blah what does this have to do with robots fighting demons, i came for demon fights and here i am at a right wing version of far-left indoctrination seminar, i don't give a fuck, i want to read about robots shooting demons with crotch cannons.
also people can't like what i like because i said so.
-you don't have to spell the metaphors author, you can just say "Freddy is afraid of looking at himself. We learn that most humans live in packs and cannot live on their own." that would be fine but apparently you think your audience is 5 years old and have to be told what to think, ironic considering the moral i guess is to not just obey and do what your told if you don't want to and also not be part of a collective and (s h i t).
-Freddy "then sees everything that builds my consciousness", did you forget that you were writing in 3rd person?
-Freddy ends up in free world and is now a real boy, the end
-oh and also something about 9/11, war on drugs, the pandemic, the american territories or some shit.
-and literally everyone clapped unironically.
overall your story is about as good as those "6 year old girls" saying woke things on twitter, if this was made ironically i would still question your skills as a writer, I've read smut that had more work into them, please work on your writing as it shows you have no experience, i would also like to tell you that this kinda a kiwi farms clone, we talk about idiots, internet drama and mostly rodfellows, you should of expected push-back, this is not a site for fan-fiction, please upload your trash elsewhere.
