Disney is developing planned communities for fans who never want to leave its clutches


Disney is developing planned communities for fans who never want to leave its clutches​

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Live, breathe (and die?) Disney
By James Vincent Feb 16, 2022, 11:20am EST
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concept art for Disney’s first planned “Storyliving” community: Cotino, California. Image: Disney
Disney has launched a new business for fans who can’t bear to leave the pristine, family-friendly world the corporation has nurtured through its theme parks and media ventures.
“Storyliving by Disney” will operate as part of the company’s theme parks division, developing a series of master-planned communities for residential living, designed by Disney’s creative staff and offering the same pampered tranquility found in its resorts.
DISNEY’S NEW PLANNED COMMUNITIES WILL BE AS PAMPERED AND PRISTINE AS ITS RESORTS
“Picture an energetic community with the warmth and charm of a small town and the beauty of a resort,” said Disney Parks, Experiences and Products exec Helen Pak in a promotional video.
Only one location has been announced so far: a community of 1,900 housing units named Cotino that will be built in the city of Rancho Mirage in California’s Coachella Valley (a location where Walt Disney himself once lived).
Concept art for Cotino shows villas, condos, and housing complexes clustered around a 24-acre “grand oasis,” which Disney says will offer “clear turquoise waters” powered by the Crystal Lagoons technology deployed at its resorts. Amenities will include “shopping, dining, and entertainment,” as well as a beachfront hotel and clubhouse hosting “Disney programming, entertainment and activities throughout the year.”
Members of the public will be able to visit Cotino by purchasing day passes, while a section of the development will be set aside for residents aged 55 and up. Prices for accommodation and financing options have not been announced, and Disney has also yet to share when construction will begin or when residents might be able to move in.

As reported by USA Today, although Disney is branding and marketing these communities, it will not own, build, or sell the homes. Instead, it will be partnering with third-party developers to carry out this work.
Cotino, for example, is being built by DMB Development, a company that’s constructed a number of luxury communities in the US and abroad. These include Silverleaf, Arizona (“a private haven of rare grace and refinement”) and Kukuiʻula in Hawaii (“a place for discerning families who seek to balance luxury with the laid-back lifestyle and awe-inspiring beauty of our island home”).
It’s also not the first time Disney has explored residential developments like this. In 1996, it opened the gates of Celebration, Florida, a master-planned community near Walt Disney World Resort, and in 2011 opened its luxury Golden Oak resort in the same state, where prices for homes originally started at $1.6 million. And famously, Walt Disney himself wanted to develop a utopian “city of the future” named Epcot (standing for “Experimental Prototype Community of Tomorrow”).
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Not all of these communities have been successes, though. The hugely ambitious original plans for Epcot were never fulfilled (though the concept’s legacy lives on in various ways in Disney’s resorts and parks), while Celebration, Florida, suffers all sorts of mundane and un-magical problems like leaks and mold (Disney itself is not responsible for maintenance).
With this latest venture, Disney apparently wants to revisit its residential dreams while focusing on the vague and eternally sunny concept of “storytelling.” As the company’s chairman of Disney Parks, Experiences and Products, Josh D’Amaro, puts it in a blog post, its new communities are all about “expanding storytelling to storyliving” (hence the name.)
What exactly that means in practice isn’t clear. Is “storytelling” just the company’s way of saying “you’ll have a really nice life if you pay us a lot of money,” or is it planning something nearer to the brand of lightweight immersive theater deployed in its parks and themed hotels? A report from USA Today hints at something more than just immaculate service:
“Every single element of these communities will be steeped in a story,” D’Amaro notes. The residents, he says, will be active participants in the stories.
Maybe, instead of being drawn into skits with hosts dressed up as Goofy or Elsa, Disney’s “Storyliving” residents will be able to take part in more grounded adventures, as staff who never break character help them navigate mid-life crises and suburban ennui. Why pay for therapy if you can turn your life into theater? A happy ending can be written for you.
 
Didn't they try this with Celebration, Florida? I'm pretty sure that ended up just being a moneysink for them, and Disney ended up divesting themselves of the town. What are they going to do different this time?
Not even Walt Disney himself could get this shit to work (even though he died before EPCOT had serious money put into it). It isn't going to work this time. Even the biggest Disney autists will end up tired of constant Disney if they are living that every fucking day of their life.
I know a couple people that live in Celebration. The way they describe their average day is very surreal. But then again if you can afford to live in Celebration you are on a different level.
 
I know a couple people that live in Celebration. The way they describe their average day is very surreal. But then again if you can afford to live in Celebration you are on a different level.
You know that weird coworker everybody has? Like 40-50, female, obsessed with disney movies and shit? Celebration is basically an entire town filled with that woman.

Then she had kids. And her kids are FUCKED UP
 
Given that it’s supposed to be luxury housing in California, anyone moving there would probably need to make at least $350,000 or more a year to even think of affording a place like that. There are some rich Disney consoomers, but I think they greatly overestimate how many people would actually buy this even if they had the money. Most people with enough money to spend on something like this might choose to invest it instead in something else or build a house of their own in a cheaper area where they can make it way bigger than what Disney is probably going to offer. It’s a bad idea all around, and given just the taxes for living in California, that money isn’t going to go that far.

Most hardcore Disney fans I see are middle class or upper middle class a lot of the time. Even those people probably couldn’t afford this and they’d be most likely to buy it. From the video, this concept is pretty much a very overpriced country club for rich people.
 
You know that weird coworker everybody has? Like 40-50, female, obsessed with disney movies and shit? Celebration is basically an entire town filled with that woman.

Then she had kids. And her kids are FUCKED UP
once upon a time I'm in Celebration with buddy who's having a big ol' family and pals hub-bub at one of the food joints, things are mostly going okay, buddy's 10-ish boy cousin is talking my ear off about kaiju he thinks are cool and occasionally he'll correct me on a name and I have to explain that "back in my day we called him xx, a subtle difference but still I can dig you using the modern international name"
then out of nowhere he blurts out amazingly loud MY MOM DOESN'T LIKE BRAZILIAN PEOPLE! :D
 
once upon a time I'm in Celebration with buddy who's having a big ol' family and pals hub-bub at one of the food joints, things are mostly going okay, buddy's 10-ish boy cousin is talking my ear off about kaiju he thinks are cool and occasionally he'll correct me on a name and I have to explain that "back in my day we called him xx, a subtle difference but still I can dig you using the modern international name"
then out of nowhere he blurts out amazingly loud MY MOM DOESN'T LIKE BRAZILIAN PEOPLE! :biggrin:
See I'm just thinking what a weird thing that is to hate. Why Brazilians specifically? Like I live in a place where I half expect to run into fucking Fieval from American Tale whenever I put down a mouse trap, and I still have never given the Brazilians of all people much thought. I've heard complaints about the Puerto Ricans, the Chinese, the Russians, the Muslims, the Polish, whatever but the fuckin' Brazilians? Who the fuck talks about the Brazilians enough to hate them in America? In the Lexicon of American bigotry I've yet to hear the Brazilians get more then a passing mention.

Like you gotta put some effort into hating Brazilians. How many Brazilians this bitch actually encounter? No, she had to SEEK OUT that kind of dislike. I can't think of a single natural path in which a white woman comes into enough contact with the people of Brazil to hate them.

Like what, is she sitting around seething about Bolsanaro and the rainforest or what? What's happening here? What caused this?

I can't even think of a meaningful stereotype about brazilians. They like soccer and butts I guess. But is that I reason to hate anybody!?
 
See I'm just thinking what a weird thing that is to hate. Why Brazilians specifically? Like I live in a place where I half expect to run into fucking Fieval from American Tale whenever I put down a mouse trap, and I still have never given the Brazilians of all people much thought. I've heard complaints about the Puerto Ricans, the Chinese, the Russians, the Muslims, the Polish, whatever but the fuckin' Brazilians? Who the fuck talks about the Brazilians enough to hate them in America? In the Lexicon of American bigotry I've yet to hear the Brazilians get more then a passing mention.

Like you gotta put some effort into hating Brazilians. How many Brazilians this bitch actually encounter? No, she had to SEEK OUT that kind of dislike. I can't think of a single natural path in which a white woman comes into enough contact with the people of Brazil to hate them.

Like what, is she sitting around seething about Bolsanaro and the rainforest or what? What's happening here? What caused this?

I can't even think of a meaningful stereotype about brazilians. They like soccer and butts I guess. But is that I reason to hate anybody!?
tbf if you hang out in tourist districts the BR is a different thing
BR tour groups are a very unique thing, like cheerleaders but not girls and even more coked to the gills and all amazingly fucking loud, like the HUE HUE HUE HUE HUE BR HUE HUE HUE HUE HUE HUE BRBRBRBR onlines stereotype but just more loud
they're sorta fun to wander around near but if I ended up with them more than once a month I'd probably get tired of it quickly
 
See I'm just thinking what a weird thing that is to hate. Why Brazilians specifically? Like I live in a place where I half expect to run into fucking Fieval from American Tale whenever I put down a mouse trap, and I still have never given the Brazilians of all people much thought. I've heard complaints about the Puerto Ricans, the Chinese, the Russians, the Muslims, the Polish, whatever but the fuckin' Brazilians? Who the fuck talks about the Brazilians enough to hate them in America? In the Lexicon of American bigotry I've yet to hear the Brazilians get more then a passing mention.

Like you gotta put some effort into hating Brazilians. How many Brazilians this bitch actually encounter? No, she had to SEEK OUT that kind of dislike. I can't think of a single natural path in which a white woman comes into enough contact with the people of Brazil to hate them.

Like what, is she sitting around seething about Bolsanaro and the rainforest or what? What's happening here? What caused this?

I can't even think of a meaningful stereotype about brazilians. They like soccer and butts I guess. But is that I reason to hate anybody!?

We have a lot of Brazilians around here who drive around in sports cars playing horrible music. Reggaeton is the worst genre ever created. Maybe she was assaulted by terrible music at 3am before she moved to Celebration?

Also:

The seemingly perfect existence in Celebration came to a screeching halt on November 29, 2010. In Idelwylde condominiums, a mere block from the picture-perfect square, a man named Matteo Giovanditto was bludgeoned and strangled inside his apartment. A transient man who lived nearby was later arrested for the crime. He claims he became enraged when Giovanditto made sexual advances toward him and responded by striking him with an axe.
 
So, they want to destroy a seemingly pristine desert valley, and essentially terraform part of it into a shitty tiny beach, the rest into faux suburbia. Brilliant, I can see no ways this will go wrong in sweltering heat and a dying state that already has trouble managing water alone.
 
We have a lot of Brazilians around here who drive around in sports cars playing horrible music. Reggaeton is the worst genre ever created. Maybe she was assaulted by terrible music at 3am before she moved to Celebration?

Also:

iirc there was more recently, not BR, but still "does Disney really want its name on a city" related, that some dude killed his family (even the dog) in Celebration a few years back
 
See I'm just thinking what a weird thing that is to hate. Why Brazilians specifically? Like I live in a place where I half expect to run into fucking Fieval from American Tale whenever I put down a mouse trap, and I still have never given the Brazilians of all people much thought. I've heard complaints about the Puerto Ricans, the Chinese, the Russians, the Muslims, the Polish, whatever but the fuckin' Brazilians? Who the fuck talks about the Brazilians enough to hate them in America? In the Lexicon of American bigotry I've yet to hear the Brazilians get more then a passing mention.

Like you gotta put some effort into hating Brazilians. How many Brazilians this bitch actually encounter? No, she had to SEEK OUT that kind of dislike. I can't think of a single natural path in which a white woman comes into enough contact with the people of Brazil to hate them.

Like what, is she sitting around seething about Bolsanaro and the rainforest or what? What's happening here? What caused this?

I can't even think of a meaningful stereotype about brazilians. They like soccer and butts I guess. But is that I reason to hate anybody!?
The only Brazilian I see around regularly is a meganerd who does neuroscience research and is obsessed with Bon Jovi.

I guess if that was blown up to scale it could get wearying but he's not bad.
 
tbf if you hang out in tourist districts the BR is a different thing
BR tour groups are a very unique thing, like cheerleaders but not girls and even more coked to the gills and all amazingly fucking loud, like the HUE HUE HUE HUE HUE BR HUE HUE HUE HUE HUE HUE BRBRBRBR onlines stereotype but just more loud
they're sorta fun to wander around near but if I ended up with them more than once a month I'd probably get tired of it quickly
Thing is though, it's not like I haven't met Brazilian people before. They're just not interesting enough by themselves to make me care. Like they'd shoot me for typing this but to your average American the difference between a Brazilian and an Ecuadoria or whatever is pretty much nill.
We have a lot of Brazilians around here who drive around in sports cars playing horrible music. Reggaeton is the worst genre ever created. Maybe she was assaulted by terrible music at 3am before she moved to Celebration?

Also:

Blasting terrible music at all hours of the night is unfortunately not a Brazilian thing but just a straight up latin America in general thing. I honestly don't ever want to go to San Juan, I'd probably be fucking deaf by the end of the first day.

My white neighbors aren't blasting Tom Petty at 3AM. I lived in a building that was mostly people from Jamaica and Haiti, they just hung out on the sidewalk and listened to Reggae during the day and went to bed at normal hours. But I've lived in like 3 different buildings where at least one Latin family is going to play the same shitty Reggaetón song at a volume so loud it is impossible for me to believe they are enjoying themselves. Every single night. Like how the fuck do you even speak in that room? It's that loud. They must just be getting wasted and not talking for 6 hours.

I don't actually know it's the same song, but it sure fucking sounds like it.

Better than their folk music at least, now THAT shit is awful. Latino folk music is the worst music I've ever heard. Literally just men screaming over accordion sounds. I've listened to fucking Merzbow and I still think it's better than that.

There used to be these guys at the end of my block who had the typical ghetto "how did they afford that, oh right" sports car setup. But they modded them so when they popped the trunk it was always a huge PA system that folded out. No shit they'd be there every saturday making my entire block shake. There was no reason. None whatsoever. This wasn't a party, this was nothing. It was literally 3 guys hanging out on the sidewalk next to a fucking construction site, and they're doing this. I can only assume my spanish neighbors have damaged their hearing so bad they couldn't hear this shit.

Eh, at least it was only on saturdays.
 
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