Do americans really not butter their bread?

[Mr Bones Wild Ride]

Unless it's something specific like a jambon-buerre you shouldn't butter your fucking sandwiches my countrymen are absolutely wrong about this and the Americans are right for once and it eats me up inside knowing it.

That's not cricket mate.
Hating on fairy bread?
Hating on butter and Vegemite sanga?
You're a fucking traitorous cunt.

Next you'll be telling us how you put BBQ sauce on your meat pies.

 

[Agamemnon Busmalis]

We were too busy crafting the perfect sandwich.

Huh. Never really thought of it that way.

 

[draggs]

I think you have a point here. I think mayo has almost completely replaced the role of butter in American cuisine. Almost any time an American is eating bread, it’s with mayonnaise on it.

i only use mayo with chicken sandwiches, everything else nothx

 

[Dyn]

That's not cricket mate.
Hating on fairy bread?
Hating on butter and Vegemite sanga?
You're a fucking traitorous cunt.

Next you'll be telling us how you put BBQ sauce on your meat pies.

Vegemite specifically calls for butter you can't make a vegemite and coon without buttering it. There is nothing wrong with putting butter on the limited selection of sandwiches that it's supposed to be on.

Fairy bread though what the fuck? I have never in my life met a grown adult who likes fairy bread and if I ever do I'll spit on him.

 

[Agamemnon Busmalis]

i only use mayo with chicken sandwiches, everything else nothx

Turkey and roast beef too. Nothing like a turkey sandwich on an onion bun after Thanksgiving.

 

[Can of Spam]

Americans have no taste or use for real dairy products like butter or cheese.

Not unless it's shelf-stabilized, can last for at least 2-4 weeks in questionable refrigeration, and can be shipped across a country that's roughly the size of the continent of Europe. This is also why we also re-invented bread. Well, that and WWII caused rationing which required creative solutions.

I've never gotten sick from it and it's a hell of a lot more convenient than trying to microwave it just long enough to soften but not melt the stick.

Do you want it to be spreadable or not? There's nothing wrong with having the butter dish on the side in the kitchen.

mayo has almost completely replaced the role of butter in American cuisine

This is all comes back to the spreadability issue with cold butter, which should correctly be stored in the refrigerator as a dairy product.

Spoiler: The real solution to spreadable butter.

As always, when it comes to handling dairy, the Frogs have figured this out. The butter crock keeps your butter from being contaminated while also being nicely spreadable when you need it. No waiting for toast to melt that sad, cold, square, with the edges flaking off. No need to poison yourself by being British (or one of it's semi-retarded offspring) and stupid when it comes to storing perishable dairy on your counter.

But using one of these requires a minimal amount of work to maintain with refilling the water and sometimes adding ice on really hot days. And that's just too much work for most Americans.

put some corn syrup in there cause it needs to be used up as well

Only so long as politicians keep the corn subsidies flowing to Iowa due to the outsized importance put on the Iowa caucuses in shaping up the early American election cycle.

The only other salads they know are made with ranch which I think is also mayo but mixed with some other stuff

Spoiler: I will fight you on this, but it's not butter-related.

Barbecue and the tradition of vinegar-based slaws and salads from both Southern cuisine and the German immigrant cultures would like a word. Nothing cuts through better and balances out the flavors on a proper BBQ pulled-pork sandwich than a tangy topping of fresh 'slaw. And maybe another squirt of that HFC-poisoned sauce.
Delicious.


And that's without even getting into potato salad.

 

[Mr Bones Wild Ride]

Fairy bread though what the fuck? I have never in my life met a grown adult who likes fairy bread and if I ever do I'll spit on him.

You sound like a blast at parties

 

[CIS White Droid]

And then comes the ham or cheese or maybe a mix of both or some other topping ontop of the butter.

It's called French's yellow mustard you disgusting euronigger. Don't get me wrong, I love bread and butter, but putting butter on a ham and cheese sandwich is degenerate behavior.

 

[Dyn]

You sound like a blast at parties

Yeah it's been a while since anyone invited me to their 6th birthday.

 

[Mr Bones Wild Ride]

Yeah it's been a while since anyone invited me to their 6th birthday.

Not since the arrest, eh?

 

[Dyn]

Not since the arrest, eh?

No it's weird for a grown man to go to children's parties even before that.

 

[Mr Bones Wild Ride]

No it's weird for a grown man to go to children's parties even before that.

Oof.
So you either have no siblings/friends IRL that have children.
Or everyone thinks you suck.

Don't tell me - I don't care.

 

[Dyn]

Oof.
So you either have no siblings/friends IRL that have children.
Or everyone thinks you suck.

Don't tell me - I don't care.

Yeah it's rough not having any very small children's parties to go to.

 

[Mr Bones Wild Ride]

Yeah it's rough not having any very small children's parties to go to.

Sorry, but I can't relate to your sad state of existence. This does explain your shit opinions though.

 

[Dyn]

Sorry, but I can't relate to your sad state of existence.

C'mon now, sure you can. Surely you still remember what life was like before you had kids and had to fit all your social outlets around them, don't you? If the life choices you made are fulfilling for you and the sacrifices were worth making, that's great and I'm happy for you, but all those people who gradually drifted out of your life because fairy bread parties and Baby Shark and unpaid babysitting don't appeal to them? Yeah, they're probably also doing just fine.

 

[Mr Bones Wild Ride]

C'mon now, sure you can. Surely you still remember what life was like before you had kids and had to fit all your social outlets around them, don't you? If the life choices you made are fulfilling for you and the sacrifices were worth making, that's great and I'm happy for you, but all those people who gradually drifted out of your life because fairy bread parties and Baby Shark and unpaid babysitting don't appeal to them? Yeah, they're probably also doing just fine.

The fuck you smoking, Dyn?
Reread my post.

I don't have kids - I have people in my life that do. Because I'm not a miserable cuntflap I go to the birthday parties, buy the presents, and eat the fairy bread.

Anyway, fairy bread isn't just for children either. Nothing wrong with an adult party serving quintessential top tier Australian cuisine - like fairy bread, party pies, zooper doopers, and dagwood dogs.

Last time I had fairy bread it was at a 90s themed 30th Birthday party.
I smoked a lot of weed at that party, played goon of fortune, and spewed in one of these:

Was fucken heckers mate.

TL : DR - Your joyless life ain't my problem bish

 

[Dyn]

I go to the birthday parties, buy the presents, and eat the fairy bread.

I'm trying to convince myself your choices are valid but you're making it so goddamn hard.

But at least we can agree that goon of fortune and spewing is a lot of fun.

 

[Lidl Drip]

zooper doopers

You are not a serious people.

 

[draggs]

i heard children procure the finest of gasolines though

 

[Mr Bones Wild Ride]

You are not a serious people.

No argument here, fam

Further evidence, here are two pieces of art from the National Capital, Canberra.

I present, the Big tiddy flying whale:


And the glorious penis owl: