Do you even use a bidet (or similar)? - (Poll included)

[Gangstalker #32194]

wiping is gay dude, you dont need to do that unless you want to touch your butthole

 

[Ultrapenguin]

Nah you can buy flush safe wet wipes, that's the superlative form of American butt cleansing. I see some others here agree, that's why they use Kiwi Farms to begin with. They have superlative tastes.

Bidet's aren't a thing in the US and honestly, there's something a little strange about spraying water up your butt like that. That's a gateway to homosexuality.

 

[The Cheese Aisle]

I don’t use a bidet because it turns out that shooting particles of poop and germ water near your hooha (bidets are always kind of dirty due to their location) carries a higher risk of causing infections down there for the fairer sex. I also don’t have a hairy butthole and have a good diet, so most poops are ghost poops and I’ve never felt like I was missing out. I get why dudes like them though.

Nah you can buy flush safe wet wipes,

I’ve heard several times that even “flushable” wipes can fuck up your plumbing system

 

[TheBallPit]

Because of medical reasons I won't get into, my #2s are fairly messy. As such, I used to go thru gobs and gobs of toilet paper and would need to keep a plunger handy. Yes, I know that's gross and TMI, but it sets up why I got one and how it changed my bathroom life.

After I got a bidet, which cost all of $40 from Amazon and took 10 minutes to install, my toilet paper use plummeted while inversely my ability to clean "that area" skyrocketed. It was one of the few win-wins I've had in my life. And it also immensely helps when you're constipated, as it stimulates those muscles. Also, if you're unlucky enough to suffer from hemorrhoids or other rectal problems, a bidet is practically a Godsend.

I know they're often ridiculed, but you simply can't envision how wonderful bidets are until you've used one. Even a cheap one is infinitely preferable to being chained to rolls and rolls of toilet paper and endless wiping.

 

[Bloitzhole]

Toilet paper + travel bidet + finish with wet wipes.
Cleanest bum in all the land

 

[Vegetamite]

If you do not use a bidet, you have a willfully dirtier ass than you need. You can use a bidet in tandem with whatever other ass cleaning implement you prefer to assure a clean asshole.
Toilet paper alone isn’t good enough.
Lots of doo-doo stinky no-thinky people in the world. Don’t be one of them.

 

[Higgs Bonbon]

that's not how it works.
what you do is you keep wiping your ass with toilet paper until the paper comes back spotless, at that point the only way anybody could possibly smell your asshole is if they're giving you a rimjob.

That's how you get hemorrhoids. Not immediately, but eventually.

 

[Xenomorph]

Just get a colostomy bag like a civilized person, you weirdos.

If I EVER have to get an assbag I am shooting myself in the temple.

 

[Sneed S. McSneedensen]

Yes but I use the Japanese one (the one that shoots water on your butt), not the traditional one where you have to rub your hand on your shitty butthole to clean yourself.
I recommend.
View attachment 5995733

Honest question: how does this not get caked in shit or diarrhea and then defeat its own purpose?

I always wet toilet paper, so I can feel myself levitating over everyone in this thread.

 

[LateNightMuffin]

i've never even seen a bathroom with a bidet. The question I've always wanted to ask is: what temperature is the water? Because if it's cold I can see that being a bit of a shock.

 

[The Connected Nose]

Honest question: how does this not get caked in shit or diarrhea and then defeat its own purpose?

Pretty sure they retract under the seat when not in use, thus keeping them out of the line of fire.

 

[WTBOnlineFather]

that's not how it works.
what you do is you keep wiping your ass with toilet paper until the paper comes back spotless, at that point the only way anybody could possibly smell your asshole is if they're giving you a rimjob.

The average American diet makes this an impossibility. Burgers take greasy shits and don't have bidets and as a result walk around with patty between the buns, or choc frosting between the cheeks if you prefer, and you can't convince me otherwise.

 

[draggs]

Foreigners obsessed with shit

Must be a day that ends in Y

 

[Mr.Bucket]

That's how you get hemorrhoids. Not immediately, but eventually.

And clogged toilets... and a lot of money spent on toiletpaper.
Source: Used to take almost a whole roll to dry wipe each time. And spending $$ to have a plumber clear the main house drain when trying "flushable wipes".

Bidets have been a life changer.

i've never even seen a bathroom with a bidet. The question I've always wanted to ask is: what temperature is the water? Because if it's cold I can see that being a bit of a shock.

There are heated ones(electrically or hooking to the hot water under the sink) but most just hook to the cold water line under the toilet tank. It's cold but it's low volume higher pressure so it doesn't feel too cold. And that coldness is a godsend when you've had spicy food. Like a fire hose for your ass.

Pretty sure they retract under the seat when not in use, thus keeping them out of the line of fire.

My first one was a cheap retrofit that fit under the toilet and would use the vacuum from the lack of water pressure to go back up. That failed rather quickly. It got rather nasty. Also the side arm cracked and would spray water everywhere.
So I replaced it with this bad boy. Pricier but solidly built. Also doubles as a sprayer to help clean the toilet.

 

[soft breathing]

I don't own a bidet & can't install one on my toilet, so I just use the sink or shower that's basically next to the toilet. Get in, use some soap, wash, dry with a towel - tadah - squeaky clean butt.

 

[Owen Ferguson]

Yes, started using one right after the covid TP shortage. They're very cheap and you just connect them to the toilet's waterline.

 

[Cloaca Rimjob]

I use mine as a drinking fountain

 

[Bonedome]

I don't own a bidet & can't install one on my toilet, so I just use the sink or shower that's basically next to the toilet. Get in, use some soap, wash, dry with a towel - tadah - squeaky clean butt.

How can you not install one?

On topic: I've had one since last year and they pretty much live up to the hype. The cold water isn't bad and cleaning up is way nicer. Can't speak on how good the front vagina spraying nozzle works. For 25 bucks? Easy buy.

 

[Rembrandt]

First world solutions to first world problems. I stand on the side of "just wipe your ass".

 

[soft breathing]

How can you not install one?

Wall-mounted toilet like the one in the picture + rental apartment + not exactly much space around the toilet.


It's not a big deal though, the current arrangement works perfectly fine for me.