Do you like squirrels?

Solution
Freshly Baked Socks
Fuck no. The neighbor spills pounds of peanuts off her porch trying to attract pigeons, but it mostly fosters a massive community of squirrels. My stairs are routinely slickened with squirrel piss and shit... until.

I get a livetrap, and smear a dallop of peanut butter on the trigger. Never takes more than 15 minutes wait to catch one.

Drown the varmits in a garbage can full of water. Throw the carcass on the roof for eagles/hawks/ravens.

I catch about four dozen a year, just to keep the population down.
Sort by date Sort by votes
Those little shits leave pits all over my yard in the spring. I also have woodchucks so that makes it all the worse.
Crystal Coomer said:
I'd shoot squirrels if it weren't illegal. Annoying shits digging in my garden pots, eating plant leaves like the retards they are.

One of the pieces of shit chewed through a main pipe in my previous home and had the audacity to die inside the wall. Not only causing mold, requiring the siding be replaced, plumbing repaired, and attracted insects but by leaving their corpse the insurance company refused to pay for all of the damages as an "act of god".
Click to expand...
Something similar to this happened to me when I was a kid. They came in through a hole somewhere and clogged up a heating pipe in the house and it fucking reeked. It probably could have caused a fire if my dad wasn't proactive enough to quickly figure out what was going on.
Cup Noodle said:
They taste real good. Basically chicken with a bit of game. They are real good in dumplings. I actually don't make my kids kill. The eldest only likes putting holes in paper and the youngest doesn't care about shooting at all. The middle one is a hunter and he is making me set him up for deer next season. I used to be big into hunting but I don't have the time anymore. If you are implying that I am a psychopath by purportedly forcing my kids to kill poor cute animals, you are barking up the wrong tree. I raise poor cute animals from birth and then knock them in the head to stun them, slit their throats, and dismember them for the frying pan. It takes a lot more balls to take an animal in your hands and end it than shooting it from afar. By today's standard that would make me a psychopath, but somebody had to kill your hamburger.
Click to expand...
So what gave you the bright idea to post images of your kids on the Kiwi Farms of all places?
 
Upvote 0 Downvote
Cup Noodle said:
They taste real good. Basically chicken with a bit of game. They are real good in dumplings. I actually don't make my kids kill. The eldest only likes putting holes in paper and the youngest doesn't care about shooting at all. The middle one is a hunter and he is making me set him up for deer next season. I used to be big into hunting but I don't have the time anymore. If you are implying that I am a psychopath by purportedly forcing my kids to kill poor cute animals, you are barking up the wrong tree. I raise poor cute animals from birth and then knock them in the head to stun them, slit their throats, and dismember them for the frying pan. It takes a lot more balls to take an animal in your hands and end it than shooting it from afar. By today's standard that would make me a psychopath, but somebody had to kill your hamburger.
Click to expand...
If you actually hunt them to eat them its fine. But you also revealed how much of a redneck you are.
 
Upvote 0 Downvote
Epic Fail Man said:
If you actually hunt them to eat them its fine. But you also revealed how much of a redneck you are.
Click to expand...
That's fine. By redneck standards I'm a complete goth because I have long hair and earrings. I like hovering in between stereotypes. I just do me and don't bother with labels.
 
Upvote 0 Downvote
I just don't understand why they bury nuts so they have food for winter and then they hibernate all winter and so they don't have to eat the nuts.
 
Upvote 0 Downvote
I don't like when I get ones that try to get into the walls, but they can be nice sometimes. One hangs out outside my window. I give it my sandwich crusts sometimes and put out some nuts for it every now and again.

I'd dislike them more if they were the only animal here that made having a garden impossible, but we've got tons of other critters that do that too, so I can't really get mad at them in particular.

As for what Cup Noodle said, I never knew they tasted good. That's pretty neat. Might be redneck, but if it's good food who gives a damn?
 
Upvote 0 Downvote
You must log in or register to reply here.
Back