Does intervening when a child is bullied do more harm than good?

[Sushinope]

If it's physical bullying then intervene, if its verbal the kid needs to learn how to stand up for themselves and not take someone being an asshat to you personally. Most bullies I had would intensify if the teachers intervened since the teachers were too afraid of punishing them and expected them to back off by politely asking them to be nice, though I had one teacher humiliated people that were bullies in his class. Most backed off if you fight back especially if you make them look like a little bitch in front of their friends.

 

[DrunkJoe]

Im on the opinion that you need to teach children how to stick up for them selves. Running like a bitch every time someone says things you don't like is not a valueable life skill. There could be exteme cases that warrant intervention but this whole stop bullying thing is a hinderence to kids. When they grow up there will be people who will try and push them around, bully them, call them names. If their only instinct is flight and find someone to save them they will never get stronger as a person.

 

[neverendingmidi]

Depends on the age. Preschool through, oh, say 2nd or 3rd grade, a teacher should be reinforcing social mores, the basics like sharing, asking permission, telling kids to not call each other fuckheads because that’s not polite language, etc. After that though the kids need to start sorting themselves out.

 

[John Titor]

On one hand, the victim will eventually have to learn that sometimes authorities are fucking useless. On the flipside, the bully needs to be taught that shithead behavior will not be tolerated when they get older.

 

[Burgers in the ass]

Yes
You might as well just beat up the kid yourself to do that, intervening on one of the most normal and typical things about growing up is fucking disgusting.
By intervening, you're basically telling the kid that being a victim is ok, which it is not.

 

[Gus]

On any path in life, you will inevitably encounter some sort of obstacle, but you can choose to overcome. In every hand you are dealt, you will receive some bad cards, but you can choose to play your hand right no matter how many. Likewise, bullying is a fact of life, which can be overcome just as anything else. In doing so, you can learn to become stronger, and maybe better.

 

[John Titor]

Just a thought but would the number disparity change the view for some of you?

If it was a one on one fight, I'll be thinking "Come on kid, fight back."
If it was five against one, I'm going to be thinking "How much of an insecure pussy do you have to be that you need your boy band to beat up one kid?"

 

[AnOminous]

Just a thought but would the number disparity change the view for some of you?

Yes, as well as what the "bullying" consisted of. Also whether it's real pussy shit like a high school senior going around beating up freshmen. Property damage, actual serious physical injury, kicking someone when they're down, whether it would be an actual crime if they were grownups, all have to be taken into consideration.

I wouldn't want to see oppressive speech codes expelling kids because they called someone's mom fat, for instance. That's in the suck it up territory.

The most common really bad kind of bullying where someone should step in, as opposed to schoolyard tussling, is when they pick some mentally retarded kid, or a cripple, or someone who can't really be expected to fight back anyway, and then gang up on them, fuck up their property, actually beat them up, etc. Someone should step in at that point and those responsible should be publicly shamed and punished for it. If necessary, kick them the fuck out of the school.

The problem with the "stand up for yourself and fight back" shit is when the bullied kid actually does do that and ends up being the one who gets punished for doing what they're told to do by do-nothing administration.

 

[SeaPancake]

If you don't cut at the root, the situation'll just continue to grow until the victim turns into an incel or suicidal tumblrite. The only way bullying stops is if you take a child by the ear and march 'em to their parents and demand they do something about their hellspawn. Granted, it's a 50/50 chance that a parent will do anything once the attention comes to light that their kid is bothering other kids, but sometimes it's just a matter of "Oh wow, I didn't know I was raising [insert 80s high school bully character here]. My bad, I'll try to correct the problem". And if it turns out the parent feels the need to justify the kid's behavior, then it only proves that you need to work around it or start driving your kid to karate lessons.

Of course it depends on the kind of bullying, since boys and girls are taught that there are certain things they can get away with and some they can't, girls especially. If it's a girl being bullied by other girls, it'll almost always be cobra venom instead of leg drops since it's much more conspicuous if a female bully acts physically aggressive with others. Boy bullies can get away with a lot of rough-housing and quite a bit of verbal abuse when directed towards other boys, but not girls.

If it's a girl getting bullied by boys or a boy bullied by girls then I really have no fucking idea. I guess start punching wildly and see what connects.

 

[The Demon]

do you want a school shooter? if the answer is no, then intervene god damn it

 

[Medici]

All cases of bullying are different, it could happen for multiple reasons and there's always different children involved. If it's just something like a one time roast or some shit then it's not really a big deal depending on the kids involved, but if it happens constantly it could potentially harm the victim. Mentally or physically. Bullying can really fuck up how a child sees everything.

Victims of constant bullying can end up more reserved and awkward in social situations. That can hold you back from getting a job, driving, going to prom, whatever. Or even lead to anxiety and paranoia, etc. It can really shove someone deep into their shell to the point where they just won't say anything to anyone or reveal anything like interests or facts about themselves in fear of backlash or ridicule. Making them seem boring or completely anti-social.

 

[AnOminous]

Victims of constant bullying can end up more reserved and awkward in social situations. That can hold you back from getting a job, driving, going to prom, whatever. Or even lead to anxiety and paranoia, etc. It can really shove someone deep into their shell to the point where they just won't say anything to anyone or reveal anything like interests or facts about themselves in fear of backlash or ridicule. Making them seem boring or completely anti-social.

Beats ending up a lolcow.

 

[Medici]

Beats ending up a lolcow.

what doesn't

 

[Dysnomia]

I don't know. I remember many times I just thought "Will someone please get this fucker away from me". And no one did anything. You get tired of standing up for yourself after awhile. Because some kids do not back down and don't listen to you. You gotta wonder what the hell is wrong with them.

When I was like 11 this girl I never even met was visiting a friend of mine that was her cousin. And they come down the street. I'm outside of my grandparent's house and this bitch starts messing with me and saying she will break my Game Boy. For no reason other than I was there and holding a Game Boy. She was bigger than me too. I thought maybe my friend would tell her to stop. But she did jack to help me. I didn't really like her much after that. I ran into the side yard and the bitch cousin didn't pursue me. Probably thought someone was back there and she'd get in trouble. Or maybe she was all bark and no bite. It really sucks when literally no one has your back. You really shouldn't stand there like a jerk if you are going to call yourself a friend. Dump those friends. They're trash.

Some kids don't "toughen up" if you leave them to their own devices. They become more and more vulnerable and weaker because they feel like no one cares. Bad stuff can happen to kids like that.

Parents/guardians seldom believe that their precious little angel is the Earthly avatar of Satan himself. This is another huge problem. Recognize that your kid is misbehaving. Defending every misdeed is actually very damaging and sets the stage for "It's ok to be bad because mommy doesn't let me get in trouble". Are you still going to be covering their asses when the cops come looking for them some day? Because you can't cover their asses in prison. Both figuratively and literally.

 

[Trans Fat 41g]

I'm just gonna leave this here, Louis Rossman nailed it.

 

[gumboman]

I think intervention varies from case to case.

for ex will take 2 case

1- my classmate tuiiut in highschool was bullied by sm drug dealing kids & since no1 helped him , he ended up leaving school.

2- once I was bullied,returned home to tell dad, he told me I was weak that I came crying home like a pussy.
so I started confronting n never got bullied

no intervention in both cases n different results

 

[mindlessobserver]

Depends on the bullying. If its normal schoolyard shittery, teach the kid to stand up for themselves. If its violent, teach the kid to punch back. Which is never done anymore, unfortunately. Young boys should be encouraged to fight out their angst.

If its organized bullying involving much of the class ganging up on one kid though, radical intervention would be needed. Maybe even a transfer to another school because there is nothing one kid can do if the entire social group they are in has decided to torment him or her, because such behavior drags in otherwise non-bullying kids because its become socially accepted.

 

[scared sheep]

Depends. Unfortunately, a lot of intervention nowadays punishes both the bully with the victim, telling the victim they caused it or made it worse. Of course, this worsens self-esteem, making them more vulnerable, and you can probably imagine how that cycle goes south.

If you actually step in and give the child tools to stand up for themself, then yeah. It can help.

 

[Sovietmongler]

If they're American kids, get them to watch British shows like The Inbetweeners and The Thick of It, make them become high level bongs when it comes to banter, then watch them just decimate their bullies with a vastly superior vocabulary because, I know this hurts Americans, but Americans insults fucking suck and Americans can't fucking banter for the life of em.

"u are 1 fucking cheeky cunt mate i swear i am goin 2 wreck u i swear on my mums life and i no u are scared lil bitch gettin your mates to send me messages saying dont meet up coz u r sum big bastard with muscles lol fuckin sad mate really sad jus shows what a scared lil gay boy u are and whats all this crap ur mates sendin me about sum bodybuildin website that 1 of your faverite places to look at men u lil fuckin gay boy fone me if u got da balls cheeky prick see if u can step up lil queer."

 

[Henry Wyatt]

I think we should intervene

otherwise other kids are going to feel back and then come to a forum and sperg about autistic people to compensate for their bad childhood


oh wait...


Jokes aside as someone who was bullied I think more needs to be done about it.

especially when the kid being bullied gets in trouble for defending himself