Opinion Don’t Take The $5000 Bribe

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Don’t Take The $5000 Bribe​

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Don’t take the $5000 bribe. Now, what I call a bribe, the White House calls a ‘dividend’. According to Forbes, “Elon Musk, head of the Department of Government Efficiency, hinted at the possibility of issuing $5,000 checks to American taxpayers—a concept dubbed the ‘DOGE Dividend.’ This proposal, originating from investment firm CEO and DOGE adviser James Fishback, suggests allocating 20% of DOGE’s projected savings and distributing it to taxpaying households.” When I issue the warning — don’t take the $5000 bribe! — what am I trying to say to you? Well, read on.

The Two-Bump Pickpocket​

Have you ever been pick-pocketed on a crowded city sidewalk? You get bumped twice. First, the decoy bumps you on your left shoulder. You turn immediately to the left. The decoy on the left grabs your attention by apologizing for the bump. While you’re conversing with the decoy, the second pickpocket removes the wallet from the right rear side of your pants. When you depart and walk on, you do not even realize you have been robbed.

Right now the Whitehouse is pickpocketing you, me, our nation, and the next two generations to come. How? The decoy is bumping us. The decory is drawing us to watch news about outrageous happenings in Washington such as the fireing of civil servants. Why are government workers losing their jobs? Because they are allegedly “lunatics,” “criminals,” and “vampires” who waste government money. On February 19, 2025, the current president announced that “We live in a corrupt country.” His country is corrupt, he says. This alleged corruption justifies eliminating jobs and plunging public discourse into confusion, chaos, and concealment. As you watch and listen, you are being secretly robbed.

There is a second decoy. The U.S. President has just announced that Ukraine’s president, Volodimer Zelenskyy, is a “dictator.” Furthermore, Zelenskyy is responsible for the war against Russia. This justifies a new alignment that unites Russia with America and both against not only Ukraine but also Europe. Are you outraged? If anything would draw your and my attention away from the theft of our wallet, this would.
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There is a third decoy. This is the most important decoy. Washington Republicans announce that with the help of DOGE they plan to balance the budget. The smokescreen of draconian cost-cutting is the principal decoy. How does this work? Even at the maximun, DOGE success could account for only a fraction of deficit spending with no repayment. Even the most optimistic expectation of cost-cutting would come as close to balancing the budget as a maple tree comes close to winning a spelling bee.

To make matters even more sinister, the White House is letting a near demonic temptation loose on the public, namely, the prospect that every income tax payer might receive a $5000 dividend from this fictitious cost-cutting. When you and I turn our heads to look toward a balanced budget and celebrate a net personal profit of $5000, we will not notice how our pocket is being picked. In fact, we’ll even take the bribe gladly so as to approve the gargantuan theft.

People are marching in cities across America. Protestors hold up signs that emphatically reject White House cost-cutting. So, in order to regain public support, the White House is dangling the $5000 in front of us.

Don’t Take the $5000 Bribe​

To take the $5000 bribe would amount to the first bump in a series. What’s the second bump? The second bump is the immediate theft of $4 trillion in national debt. While depositing your $5000 White House bribe, you might not notice that the national budget has not been balanced. You might not notice how the money that might have gone for services to your grandchildren and great-grandchildren will have been stolen by today’s Washington oligarchy. If you do notice, you’ll think of yourself as a beneficiary of the robbery. As complicit. As a co-conspiritor.
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I admonish you: do not believe the lie that the White House intends to balance the budget. What is the truth? The truth is that the Republicans plan to cut the tax rate to 15% on the billionairs who paid to put the 47th president in the White House. This amounts to a revenue loss of $4.5 trillion. Even if DOGE could save as much as $1.5 trillion, we must ask: who will pay the remaining $3 trillion? The answer: the national debt increase. Your and my progeny in the future will pay for the greed and luxury of today’s oligarchy.

The House GOP budget plan is awash in red ink. It includes increasing the national debt at a rate that will lead to a deficit of $150 trillion by midcentury.

By accepting the $5000 bribe today, you would become complicit in the largest corruption caper in America’s history. Because of the bribe, you would not want to vote against the briber. You might even approve a proposal to grant to the 47th president the Oval Office for life. You might be motivated by the vain hope that you’ll someday receive another $5000 bribe.

Conclusion​

Don’t take the $5000 bribe! For that matter, don’t watch the daily news that covers outrage after outrage. Each day’s outrage is a decoy, a diversion, a smokescreen. If you and I become fixated on the first bump, we will either not notice the second bump or we might approve of it with a gesture of gratitude for the bribe we have already taken.
 
I put it towards my cat's boat.
Can you recommend any canine watercraft? Ideally, I'm thinking a nice catamaran, but would also be interested in buying my dogs a hydrofoil. Must comfortable accommodate 2 dogs with a combined weight of almost 200 pounds. Not fatfuck reddit heckin chungus dogs, just healthy large breeds. They do so love the water...

I figure $5k would cover at least a down payment.
 
Can you recommend any canine watercraft? Ideally, I'm thinking a nice catamaran, but would also be interested in buying my dogs a hydrofoil. Must comfortable accommodate 2 dogs with a combined weight of almost 200 pounds. Not fatfuck reddit heckin chungus dogs, just healthy large breeds. They do so love the water...

I figure $5k would cover at least a down payment.
>a boat for a dog
Get a load of this fucking guy, everyone! He wants to buy a boat for his dog. What a waste, pure absurdity.
 
Oh, you one of those types of cat people. Disregard previous instruction and give your cat a bath.
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I love both dogs and cats, in fact.

What I don't love is wasting money on a boat for a dog. It would be like buying a dog a scratching post. Cats dislike the water, plus they enjoy fish. A boat is a natural purchase for a cat.

You should be looking into buying your dog a car so he can hang his head out of the window while chasing down mail trucks, obviously.
 
I love both dogs and cats, in fact.

What I don't love is wasting money on a boat for a dog. It would be like buying a dog a scratching post. Cats dislike the water, plus they enjoy fish. A boat is a natural purchase for a cat.

You should be looking into buying your dog a car so he can hang his head out of the window while chasing down mail trucks, obviously.
Yeah, well just maybe my dogs don't have the same priorities or goals for life as your cat. Can you recommend quality watercraft for animals or not?

Christ, even a squirrel likes to waterski, sometimes. Why you gotta gatekeep?
Maybe I should just ask the BIFL thread.
 
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I love both dogs and cats, in fact.

What I don't love is wasting money on a boat for a dog. It would be like buying a dog a scratching post. Cats dislike the water, plus they enjoy fish. A boat is a natural purchase for a cat.

You should be looking into buying your dog a car so he can hang his head out of the window while chasing down mail trucks, obviously.
Fuck, you're one of those autists that actually needs a "/ s" at the end of a post, aren't you?

Edit: I am thrilled to report that WORD FILTERS ARE BACK!!
"/ s" changes to "/sneed" ... I did not know this.
 
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Those $1,200 checks cost people way more than they got thanks to the inflation they caused. $5,000 would be even worse.

How about focus on using any cost savings to reduce the deficit so we stop pissing away nearly a trillion dollars on interest?

It sounds like they're trying to devalue the currency to address the US debt. If you have savings, buy precious metals or transfer it to a more stable currency.
Agreed to both. I support Trump and I think everything DOGE is doing is fantastic, but if we just give the money away their work is useless grandstanding.

Until we stop having a deficit, really until we pay off the Debt, then this would just be more printed fiat toilet paper. I could use $5000, sure. But I didn't ask for it or expect it and I'd rather them try and balance the budget. I can't imagine Rand Paul or John Kennedy will be for this.

If they do give it to me, I'll do the same thing I did with the COVID funbux: buy gold and silver.
 
Democrats don't know anything about blacks if they think Tyrone and Dejelquis will turn down $5000 to "send a message."
Yeah, they think reparations is ok and don't blink an eye but they got triggered like a trigglypuff when Tyrone and Dejelquis accept $5000. Of course it was Trump's idea, if the $5000 have came from Obama or Biden, they would smile.
 
Can you recommend any canine watercraft? Ideally, I'm thinking a nice catamaran, but would also be interested in buying my dogs a hydrofoil. Must comfortable accommodate 2 dogs with a combined weight of almost 200 pounds. Not fatfuck reddit heckin chungus dogs, just healthy large breeds. They do so love the water...

I figure $5k would cover at least a down payment.
This is your lucky day. It just so happens, I am in the business of canine watercraft. I specialize in sailboats, and it also just so happens, coincidentally, I have a sailboat for sale for EXACTLY $5000. It's called Charlie Brown and Sloopy, but if you have a bit more money, I can rename it whatever you want.

Please send credit card details and I will begin prepping the boat for your dog's arrival.

*Rabies shots included in this limited time offer, I guess.
 
Stop by my Facebook sometime and watch all my TDS infected friends insist, with no evidence, that nothing is being cut...... but rather, all this "cut" money is being stuffed into big burlap sacks with "$" on the side, then gets taken out the front door by wheelbarrow and dumped into the back of Elon's Cybertruck....who drives away laughing while throwing the Nazi salute and crushing small animals under his tires.

Yes, they honestly want to believe this.

They'd rather believe their taxes have been outright STOLEN than barred from being WASTED.
Remember how democrats always project.
 
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This is your lucky day. It just so happens, I am in the business of canine watercraft. I specialize in sailboats, and it also just so happens, coincidentally, I have a sailboat for sale for EXACTLY $5000. It's called Charlie Brown and Sloopy, but if you have a bit more money, I can rename it whatever you want.

Please send credit card details and I will begin prepping the boat for your dog's arrival.

*Rabies shots included in this limited time offer, I guess.
But is it a catamaran, or perhaps even a trimaran? Or a hydrofoil? Mono-hulls are for suckers and poors. My dogs are looking for style, speed and stability.

I suppose a hovercraft might be acceptable. I need to consult with my dogs.

And do you accept google play card, sar?
 
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But is it a catamaran, or perhaps even a trimaran? Or a hydrofoil? Mono-hulls are for suckers and poors. My dogs are looking for style, speed and stability.

I suppose a hovercraft might be acceptable. I need to consult with my dogs.

And do you accept google play card, sar?
Alas! I am afraid we only have catamarans outside of your price range! If you could find an extra $10000, we have the ideal boat for you sir! The Dog's Hate Cat(s)amaran is deep sea tested and has a built in pee pad, just as a luxury vessel should.

Google Play is acceptable!
 
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Alas! I am afraid we only have catamarans outside of your price range! If you could find an extra $10000, we have the ideal boat for you sir! The Dog's Hate Cat(s)amaran is deep sea tested and has a built in pee pad, just as a luxury vessel should.

Google Play is acceptable!
Outside my price range, right now. I'll keep looking, but I will keep you in mind, should circumstances change.

Quality watercraft for domestic animals are so hard to find these days...
 
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