Alright, we're in the home stretch here. 9 has finally been redeemed in my eyes, and not a moment too soon with those future box sets on the horizon. Rose sure fucking hasn't been though, if anything she's even worse than I remembered (except for that one Moffat 2 parter). If this is Rose at her most subdued, which is how I remember it, I shudder at what I'm due for in series 2. Anyway, enough stalling, it's time for Bad Wolf!
Finish that "story arc" RTD.
-As shit of a premise as this episode has, that cold open with the Doctor in an interview chair cracked me up.
-The Anne Droid. The ANNE-FUCKING-DROID. I'm dead.
-Poor dumb Rose. She would be totally out of her depth here even if it was a contemporary game show for her, let alone one asking questions about things centuries in her future.
-Jack: Am I naked in front of millions of viewers?
Robots: Absolutely!
Jack: Ladies, your viewing figures just went up.
I chuckled.
-You aren't 'sweet' "Linda with a Y", you're annoying. The Doctor is just placating you so you'll shut up. Let the man work.
-Rose: What the hell, I'm gonna play to win!
Me: Sure you are hun.
-One of the weakest link answers was "Torchwood". Good to see RTD is already setting up his next "Story Arc" before even finishing this one.
-I know she doesn't know the game is lethal, but wow Rose is acting like an asshole.
-"You're unemployed, and yet you still have enough money to buy peroxide. " Wow Anne Droid is savage. (I vaguely remember the woman she's based on was just as savage so no credit given.)
-"You are the Weakest Link, EXTERMINATE!" But I'm getting ahead of myself.
-"You have ten seconds to make your farewells, and then we're going to get you!"
What an odd line. I've never seen an episode of Big Brother before, is that something they say on the real show or something?
-"She's been evicted... from life."
That line was bad, and you should feel bad.
-Robot: Now it's time for the faceoff.
Jack: What does that mean I get to compete against someone else?
Robot: (pulls out a chainsaw) No, Face Off.
-And Jack, who is naked, has a gun all of a sudden. Where was he even keeping that thing? Never mind, I don't want to know.
I was half joking when I used the exact same joke last episode, when he randomly had those kinky electro-shock cuffs that he seemingly pulled out of his ass... But why is literally(?) pulling random things out of his ass a running theme with Jack?
-This black guy on the Weakest Link is my favorite character this episode. He just comes out and tells Rose that she's stupid. I wish more people were this honest.
-Playing a montage of all the times somebody said "Bad Wolf" over the course of this series still doesn't make it a story arc RTD.
-"You have 10 seconds to make your farewells then we're gonna get you!" I like how happy that voice saying it sounds, but still a fucking weird line.
-The Doctor just promised to get "Linda with a Y" out alive. Let's see how well he keeps that promise... I remember enough of the next episode to know he doesn't...
-Uh oh... The Doctor's been here before. It's the same Satellite that had all the fake news a few episodes back. It's almost like leaving prematurely to go punish the beta boy, who barely did anything wrong, over actually trying to fix the aberration to the timeline that you even noticed in that episode, (while assuming it would work itself out in the end and *never* coming back to check) was a dumb fuck decision. Because it was.
-The Doctor just said it's the year "200100," Rose was... substantially more fucked than I'd even guessed XD. But I still say she wouldn't have been all that much better off if she were captured and forced to play "The Weakest Link" To the death in 2005.
-This "Linda with a Y" bint is naming off (what I assume were) contemporary to 2005 Reality TV shows.
-"Call My Bluff" (with real guns)
-"Countdown" (where you've got 30 seconds to stop the bomb from going off)
-"Groundforce" (which is a nasty one, you get turned into compost)
-"Wipeout" (speaks for itself), and...
-"Stars in their eyes" (*Literally* stars in their eyes. If you don't sing, you get blinded)
Annnd I don't recognize any of them. Admittedly I don't live in Britbongistan, and I've never cared about "Reality TV"... Especially not the reality TV of Britbongs 15ish years ago...
But still, I at least *have* heard of 'Big Brother', and I also heard about 'The Weakest Link', and I'm assuming that the show Jack was on was some sort of 'Extreme Makeover'. And it's already struck me how dated this episode is. None of those shows are even remotely still *relevant* today. (Apparently Big Brother is still running in the US, but I didn't even know that until I looked it up just now, and it apparently stopped airing in the UK entirely years ago.)
-There was just an "I never paid for my (tv) loisense" joke. Apparently that's punishable by death in the future. Britbongs get fucked, lol.
-They're trying to set up "Linda with a Y" as potentially being a companion with the Doctor, but yeah there was no way that was going to happen.
-Jack just made a BFG, presumably out of a combination of the wreckage of the robot ladies he just killed, and the gun he was apparently keeping in his ass. I'm ok with this.
9 just claimed that he "put it right" the last time he was here on this space station. That's obviously bullshit. He killed that giant Uvula that Simon Pegg was hyping for in that episode... But as I already said, the Doctor was more interested in punishing Adam than he was in doing anything positive for Earth by the end of that episode...
-The Black Guy's strategy to keep Rose in the game until the Anne Droid wiped her out was a good one.
-Man, 9 just got a mugshot taken, and it was funny as hell.
-"The Controller" bit seems like a ripoff of Minority Report (which was relevant at the time) to me.
-"My friend died inside your games" Lmfao Rose (who isn't dead), 9 just sees you as a friend.
-Oh shit, the Daleks are back.... Alert, Alert.
Lol, 9 just said he was "coming to get" Rose. That's the same thing the Big Brother house said about what evicted housemates.