Dr. Who

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Being a series that's been going on for decades and is about traveling throughout spacetime, and having never really watched it, I imagine the timeline of the Doctor Who universe is huge and confusing.
Lance Parkin tried collating the timeline of every Doctor Who story ever into a handy guide, and it stretches across three volumes.
 

They couldn't even put together a one minute trailer for Series 13 without reusing shots.

This comment cracked me up: "you know a character is hiding something when another character says "you're hiding something" to that character"

I've pretty much lost all interest in Who past the early to mid Capaldi episodes. This trailer didn't change that.
 
Well there it is.

The show was already absolute trash by the time chibnall took over, but he managed to do the impossible and make it orders of magnitude worse in every way imaginable and fuck the lore and continuity beyond repair in a way john nathan turner couldnt even fucking dream of.

Where moffat merely saw fit to waste and ruin potentially good ideas and concepts and actors, chibnall actively ensured that even the best fucking writers on the planet would be utterly unable to unfuck everything he touched and unravel the web of toxic bullshit he wove around the franchise.

And ofcourse, since he slathered on wokesped shit to all his worst decisions there is zero chance the spineless retards hired by the BBC to fix shit will even dare to try and retcon anything he crowbarred into continuity for fear of it putting the twitter mob spotlight on them.

The franchise is dead. Piss on its grave, make mockery of those who try to fuck it back to life, and then find something more worthy of your attention to occupy your time with.
 
The show was already absolute trash by the time chibnall took over, but he managed to do the impossible and make it orders of magnitude worse in every way imaginable and fuck the lore and continuity beyond repair in a way john nathan turner couldnt even fucking dream of.
I've talked a lot of shit about JNT but he actually was still doing a semi-decent job during late Baker and early Davison. The deterioration started fairly subtly, with stuff that was more silly than canon-breaking like putting those ridiculous question marks on Davison's jacket, but they got more grotesque, like putting Colin Baker (a genuinely unpleasant Doctor) in a literal clown suit, which was about when I stopped watching.

Still, most of the decline was a fairly steady decline in quality combined with a fairly drastic decline in style, more than outright shitting on the canon.

I'm glad I never really got into NuWho and was definitely no longer remotely interested by the time Chinballs took over.
 
For the remaining optimists, who should replace Jodie and will that awful retcon be overturned somehow in the future?
 
For the remaining optimists
I'm not one but I'll answer anyway.
who should replace Jodie
Don't care. If the writing's shit, it won't matter if they necromance Laurence Olivier or haul Sidney Poitier out of retirement and get him to work for BBC money.
will that awful retcon be overturned somehow in the future?
No. Andrew Cartmel's the most high profile person related to the show who's spoken out against it, and the last time he was on deck was when the ship went down the first time. The others are either on board with it, or too scared to speak out.

Best thing to do is hope Big Finish's licence doesn't get extended to cover beyond the end of the Capaldi era (meaning they can't reference the Timeless Child even if they wanted to), and even that's optimistic.
 
For the remaining optimists, who should replace Jodie and will that awful retcon be overturned somehow in the future?
Bring back my man, Peter Capaldi, and have the Jodie Whittaker seasons all be some sort of delusion induced by a villain to fuck with him. Then bring on some better writers, and a competent showrunner, and let that dude be the top-tier Doctor he deserved to have been. I know it won't happen, but I can dream...
 
For the remaining optimists, who should replace Jodie and will that awful retcon be overturned somehow in the future?
Popped into /tv/ earlier and they seemed to think Alfred Enoch could be cool. If he seems familiar, it's because he played Dean Thomas in the Harry Potter movies and he's actually the son of William Russell who played Ian Chesterton in the original series. Bit of a surprise for me honestly. As for the most obvious retcon, c'mon...the Master lied. It was all a trick.
 

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Popped into /tv/ earlier and they seemed to think Alfred Enoch could be cool.
I wouldn't mind that. Would be fun if they did a story where he met Ian again in that scenario. William Russell's still kicking at the ripe old age of 96 (although whether that's still the case when 2022 rolls around remains to be seen).
 
I remember seeing something some time ago where Moffatt said he'd considered making the Doctor a ladywoman before Capaldi was cast, and that he'd actually talked to Olivia Colman for it. I nearly threw a chair out a window in rage when I read that, cause she is the one actress who could have actually worked in that role. Instead, we have a miscast charisma-free substitute teacher in a Mork from Ork costume doing a shit-ass Tennant imitation. A while back, there was a push online and in UK fan circles for Richard Ayoade. If you got actual writers instead of diversity hires, he would fucking rule as the 14th Doctor. And, yeah, it's stupid easy to retcon all this, just blame the Master and say it was all him being a total dick. Not like anyone would complain, even the woke fans seem to hate the new origin.

And Troughton was best doctor, fight me.
 
I remember seeing something some time ago where Moffatt said he'd considered making the Doctor a ladywoman before Capaldi was cast, and that he'd actually talked to Olivia Colman for it. I nearly threw a chair out a window in rage when I read that, cause she is the one actress who could have actually worked in that role.
Apparently when the show was first being revived, Judi Dench was under consideration to be the Ninth Doctor. I think she would've done a good job as a world weary post-Time War Doctor, but Eccleston was perfect.
And Troughton was best doctor, fight me.
I like you.
Null. I'd give up... like ten bucks to watch Null be dr Who for a season.
He'd just sit in the TARDIS watching intergalactic weirdos on the time space visualiser and streaming it through the Matrix. It would be amazing.
 
Apparently when the show was first being revived, Judi Dench was under consideration to be the Ninth Doctor. I think she would've done a good job as a world weary post-Time War Doctor, but Eccleston was perfect.

I like you.

He'd just sit in the TARDIS watching intergalactic weirdos on the time space visualiser and streaming it through the Matrix. It would be amazing.
It would be a better world that's for sure.
 
If i were to be "optimistic" I would say the BBC's absolute least shit option in order to get a portion of its old viewers back would be

a) retcon retcon RETCON: sure its absolute cowardice but there is no way in hell the timeless child shit can be salvaged even when you separate it from the embarrasing wokesped shit that permeated the entire "the doctor is achtchully originally a little black refugee girl who the evil fffucking white time lords harvested for melanin to build their empire" concept. The only way to make it halfway workable would be for it to apply to anyone *but* the doctor and spin it as the master lying as usual.

b) backpedal like fucking crazy: having the doctor spend 2005-2013 perma miserable about wiping out his own race, barely finding a way to save them in the 50th anniversary special, and then just going "meh" when they are re-wiped because "they deserved it because the OG timelord leadership were evil n sheeit" as seems to be the case is as colossal a fuckup in characterisation as the timeless child was a fuckup in lore and continuity

c) moratorium on wokesped on and off screen: both in terms of "masturbating about how awesome and progressive you are on camera in order to get media asspats" and "trying to annoy people who say your attempts to crowbar in autistic political references suck" as both of these things have helped ensure an ever dwindling fandom rapidly became actively hateful of the show that was trying to spin lazy ass "racism am bad" style lectures on shit thats been the norm for half a century as edgy and brave and important moments in the show history and accusing anyone who called bullshit a nazi.

d) Stop taking such stupidly long fucking breaks between episodes and seasons and stop shaving the number of episodes: Having to wait upwards of a year between seasons and half a year between chunks of episodes without any set schedule or release date would be absolutely disastrous for even the best written and most beloved shows as people wont know when the fuck they can expect continuation and thus their interest will inevitably drift, and this goes doubly if they only randomly get to see 1-3 episodes in any given block. When the show sucks as much as it does however, it gives people just one more excuse not to bother watching.

e) stop using the fucking cybermen: for fuck sake I get there are probably some legal issues with the daleks still, but the cybermen have been overused past the point of embarrasment at this point, and in just about every appearence they have been absolute fucking garbage. retire them for 5 years or more until you can think of something worth doing with them.

and now the most controversial one, but hey this is my "optimistic for the show's future" take here, not my "optimistic for a show that wont still be trash on a fundamental level" take....

f) bring back david tennant as the doctor........really: Yes. I know. This is fucking stupid. This is the most desperate fucking pandering the show could ever pull. This is downright fucking pathetic. I know, I know. But again this is me trying to have an "optimistic take" for the show not being cancelled again going forwards even if I really fucking want it to be cancelled myself.

Basically david tennant is still "the face" of nu-who and is still fawned over by tumblr heffers, reminisced over nostalgically by zoomers, not hated too much by old fans, and is generally remembered positively by the wider viewing public in the role, and him being re-cast as the doctor would be one hell of a ratings stunt which could theoretically pay off long term if he was given decent scripts to work with to keep the interest going forwards.

And thanks to the aforementioned 50th anniversary special, this has canonical precedent since there is a future tom baker doctor shown at the end.


Would any of this shit get me back in to the show?

Hell no.

It would still almost 100% certainly be absolute fucking trash writing and acting even if these most glaring issues were taken care of and it would almost certainly fuck up just as bad if not worse all over again because of the absolute retards the BBC likes to diversity/inclusion/nepotism hire.

However the first 3 things are what i have seen complained about the most by far on a real diverse array of online sauces, I believe making a big song and dance about solving them would probably be a start in getting some of the less embittered fanboys back on board, and throwing a bunch of pure fanboy chum into the water as disney has recently been doing with star wars has some vague chance of turning shit slightly around assuming they get both good press from the usual media goons *and also* positive reactions from traditionally negative voices which may be enough to cause positive word of mouth to begin making a difference......

....but honestly even if they pull all this shit off I strongly suspect it will still fail to bring back those who stopped watching and the show will be cancelled shortly afterwards either way.
 
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