DSP Plays Fallgout 4

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Is MacReady as bullshit a sniper companion as Boone is in NV? I don't remember from my time playing Fallgout 4. Expect him to recruit him ASAP and then pigsplain how he totally remembers him as the annoying kid in FO3.

Only thing I am curious about for this build is how quickly he dumps it when he realizes there is no physical intimidation ability (Shame on that ngl) and his own bad perk choices, like that dogshit explosives build he did in NV where every perk ran counter to it.

EDIT: Forgot that power armor in this game has that fusion core gimmick because of how common Bethesda made it. This idiots going to have no power armor throughout the game because he doesn't know how to save his cores. Not that it matters since he is playing on baby mode anyways.
 
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Is MacReady as bullshit a sniper companion as Boone is in NV? I don't remember from my time playing Fallgout 4. Expect him to recruit him ASAP and then pigsplain how he totally remembers him as the annoying kid in FO3.

Only thing I am curious about for this build is how quickly he dumps it when he realizes there is no physical intimidation ability (Shame on that ngl) and his own bad perk choices, like that dogshit explosives build he did in NV where every perk ran counter to it.

EDIT: Forgot that power armor in this game has that fusion core gimmick because of how common Bethesda made it. This idiots going to have no power armor throughout the game because he doesn't know how to save his cores. Not that it matters since he is playing on baby mode anyways.
Since companions can't die in FO4 I don't think it matters too much. If Phil wants to cheese the game, not that you have to on normal, he should probably just go get Strong or Danse.

I guess someone could also tell him that it's possible to get tons of XP by building a million fence posts at Sanctuary. At least I think you can still do that, I remember Mittensquad doin that in a couple challenges to level up to get certain perks for challenges like "beat the whole game only using the power armor fusion core ejection".
 
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Since companions can't die in FO4 I don't think it matters too much. If Phil wants to cheese the game, not that you have to on normal, he should probably just go get Strong or Danse.

I guess someone could also tell him that it's possible to get tons of XP by building a million fence posts at Sanctuary. At least I think you can still do that, I remember Mittensquad doin that in a couple challenges to level up to get certain perks for challenges like "beat the whole game only using the power armor fusion core ejection".
Yeah, you can still abuse that and the item duping bug to build thousands of low cost items to farm thousands (if not millions) of xp.
 
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Yeah, you can still abuse that and the item duping bug to build thousands of low cost items to farm thousands (if not millions) of xp.
Phil's probably too lazy for item dupe exploits. The most he ever exploits was pretending he found that one Khajiit merchant chest in Skyrim that you can reach due to a texture issue. If an exploit requires any modicum of effort it is beyond his ability to do it.
 
Warning: A lot of this is Phil just not getting the hacking puzzle at all. Remember, he can only hack Novice terminals, the easiest ones in the game you are able to hack by default.

Phil explains like 4 different perks his fans suggested and decides on Expert Lockpicking, a perk exactly no one suggested. Interactive streamer.

He changed the Pip-Boy color yet again, now it’s light blue.

Phil picks the persuade option every time despite knowing he has 1 Charisma. It would make sense if he was doing it to laugh at NPCs’ reactions when he fails it, but it seems like he’s so used to picking these options that he does it by reflex.

He is calling the Brotherhood “morahns” because he can take all their supplies, Paladin Danse just said you were working for them now so obviously they want you to be geared up.

“With my build I’m gonna need every stat boost possible cause it’s gonna be rough going otherwise.”

I’m always tickled by how Phil thinks that because he makes a bad version of a build and then doesn’t play it properly anyway, the build itself is bad. Just like his most recent New Vegas run, where he whined that the explosives build sucked because he kept blowing himself up using them at point-blank range.

“These are just laaahgs? I don’t care about these. I just wanted the experience points.”

He found a box of bobby pins and he’s more excited about that than anything he has found in the past 5 hours.

“I’m not listening to a word [Danse] is saying.”

“I have no clue where we’re going, by the way.”

If you’re very clever, oh my brothers, you can connect these last 2 statements.

He keeps acking about how he’s not listening to Danse. I honestly don’t get what people like Phil get out of games like Fallout. If you aren’t playing it for the story, characters, and setting, what exactly ARE you playing it for? The realistic character models? The seamless, elegant combat? The knuckle-biting challenge?

He’s mad because Danse keeps killing the enemies before he does. Stop running off into other rooms to loot and maybe you can kill something, Phil.

Phil and one of his idiots think crafted chems are better than found chems, they aren’t.

“What is Danse doing, I’m not paying any attention.”

Phil is lost in Arcjet Systems, he doesn’t know where Danse is.

Phil failed another terminal.

Phil failed the terminal again.

“Hacking’s gonna be the hard part because I’m a dunce.”

“I don’t even care, I just wanted the experience.”

Yeah those 10XP are really worth the 5 minutes of struggling with the Novice hacking puzzle.

Phil has failed hacking the mission terminal, which is even easier than a regular Novice terminal.

The game had mercy on him this time and let him remove 5 wrong words with the “shortcuts” (as he calls them), and he still failed it. “Soap” had 0 correct letters and he picked “seek”, which also had 0 correct letters, and he picked “them”. (The correct answer was “with”, if anyone cares.)

“No, this is a Novice-level terminal, but I’m an idiot. Because I’m a complete idiot, I can’t do these easily at all.”

My god, he took 3 guesses, got his tries reset to 4, removed FIVE wrong words, and still failed...I’m in awe, seriously.

“I took like no damage. I don’t think they hit me once.”

When you just run around while Danse kills them all, yeah, that would happen.

“The reward for liking the stream? How about the streams doing well? Does everything in life to you have to be like a piece of candy given to a child every time you see them? Life’s not like that, just so you know, there’s not just instant reward and gratification.”

Imagine that, whining that you aren’t rewarded for something you’ve done, that there’s no point to doing it other than that it’s fun and you like it? Some people should really learn that lesson. Some people on this very stream….

“I’m not using laser weapons, you buffoon.”

How is Paladin Danse supposed to know that?

“Righteous Authority, critical shots do double damage and the critical meter fills 15% faster. I don’t care.”

Yeah, Phil, don’t use one of the most powerful early-stage weapons in the game as a back-up for when you can’t or don’t want to get up in something’s face. It’s not an exact match for your build so fuck it, it’s worthless and the NPC is dumb for not knowing that.

Danse responds to Phil’s asshole-ishness about the reward with, “You should learn to be a bit more thankful about what you receive.” Phil acks at him even harder.

“And big rewards of experience, which was the whole point of me doing that.”

“Why’s it so white? What the fuck is going on?”

It’s fog, Phil.

It probably doesn’t need to be said, he has no strategy at all. Phil see super mutant, Phil run up to super mutant, Phil mash attack button. And also chug “healing items” like a crackhead because he’s bad at games.

“One correct, so it ends in ‘y’. It can’t end in ‘y’ cause none of the other words end in ‘y’. So that’s wrong, I did something wrong with my logic there.”

He’s singing “Mmm Bop” interchangeably with that Carmen San Diego song because God hates me.

He got attacked by 2 turrets that he couldn’t reach with melee and had to shoot them with a gun. Too bad nobody gave him a good weapon for just such a situation.

“Restricted to the lobby, yeah, okay.”

My guy you’re in the lobby, what the fuck are you talking about.

“My chat is consistently unwelcoming?”

Bruh if that’s news to you I don’t know what to tell you.

“Am I gonna have to read the lahgs to figure this puzzle out? Man, I am, aren’t I?”

“‘Gates and gloves only have a ‘g’ in common, so it has to start with a ‘g’.”

Aaaaand we’ve learned nothing.

“Wow there’s like nothing to help.”

Nobody tell him I beat this and other Fallout games multiple times without even knowing it was possible to remove wrong words and reset tries, I just solved the damn hacking puzzle.

“One correct in 'homes', so it’s gotta be the ‘s’ at the end.”

We've now abandoned that it has to start with 'g', yet it's by the exact same logic that it has to end in 's'.

“It ends with ‘s’. ‘Raids’, zero correct. It does not end with ‘s’. ‘Turns’, only 1 correct. This is ridiculous.”

No, you did not read that wrong. He said out loud “it does not end with s” and immediately chose “turns”.

He has failed this terminal a second time.

Someone asks, "Would you rather prefer [sic] Fallout 5 explore a brand new area or explore the LA area from the TV show?" "Uhhhhhhh…I mean I feel like it would still be a new area if it was the LA area from the TV show…we haven’t been there yet in a game, right?”

Okay…that wasn’t the question? Is he genuinely this dumb, or is it just Fence-Sitter Phil raising his Oddly-Shaped Head? He’s the worst goddamn streamer. How hard is it just answer the guy's question about your preference? Here, watch this: “It should be set in a new area, because Fallout media have always done that. I’d like to see them go outside US, say the Seattle-Vancouver area, or even London. That could shake up the series a bit so that it’s not the same old factions and creatures.” Even if you disagree, isn’t that a more interesting answer? Something that could, I dunno, generate discussion in chat?

Oh my brothers, try something with me. Let’s say you’ve never played a Fallout game before. You’ve learned that there’s a skill to open locks and a skill to hack terminals. You see a safe and a terminal next to each other. You lockpick the safe, then you hack the terminal and see that the terminal also opens the safe. How many more times would this need to happen for you to see the pattern here? Because Phil has lockpicked like 4 safes and then hacked the terminals next to them, saw that they open the safes, and declared having hacked them “a waste”.

And that’s not even mentioning that New Vegas also did this, which he just played in 2021. (Don’t remember if it also happens in Fallout 3, it’s been a good while since I played that one.)

Phil is trying to get into a room while a hole in its ceiling, he sees a hole in the ceiling of the room he’s in and is trying to stack objects to let him jump up there, it’s not going well.

“This is definitely the way you’re supposed to do it.”

No it isn’t.

Now he’s complaining that he “wasted so many chems” fighting super mutants. Why is it a waste to use power-ups to win fights? Especially when you said your build is partly based on chems?

“There’s two of them standing on top of each other?”

no

Someone asks Phil why he doesn’t just hotkey the stimpak instead of having to open the Pip-Boy (which pauses the game), scroll over to Items, scroll over to Aid, scroll down through like 30 items one by one to highlight the stimpak, and press the button to use the stimpak. Phil says his way means the stimpak takes effect immediately while with the hotkey there's an animation before it starts working. Leave it to Phil to do what’s easier for him rather than what would make his stream less boring.

On top of that, he’s wrong, you get the animation either way. Also, I don’t think he’s noticed that stimpaks heal over time in Fallout 4.

Phil has hotkeyed an improved 10mm pistol over the standard one he got at the beginning of the game. I thought you didn’t care about ranged weapons and Paladin Danse was stupid to give you a really good one?

He’s again complaining that he’s on a rooftop and there’s no point to it.

Phil opened the menu to manually select the gun he himself hotkeyed like 10 minutes ago.

Still hilarious watching him lockpick, he’s broken a bobby pin IMMEDIATELY on like the last 9 locks.

He’s getting wrecked by basic raiders again. He’s not dying because Normal, but…I just can’t adequately explain how bad he’s playing. He stands around going “Whoa, a turret” while Dogmeat gets blown up by TWO turrets (he doesn’t see the other because blind) and makes no attempt to time his shots in between the turret’s bursts, just stands in front of it blasting away while it blasts him. Fortunately for him he can level up (which put him back at 100% health) and the turret can’t.

Everybody’s got things they hate about Phil, and I probably can’t pick a single pet peeve, but right now I loathe the way he goes “Unh…unh…UNH YEEEEEAH!” as he beats to death a single basic enemy on Normal difficulty. Bruh, why the flex? What are you so proud of?

And this is only tangentially related, but personally, I think the standard should be Normal difficulty is you have to actually learn and use the core mechanics to complete the game. Again, I’m an average gamer at best, so I’m hardly one to say you have to git gud to finish an RPG. But imo that’s what Easy difficulty is for, Normal should require a functioning brain. Basically Easy: You can just unga bunga through; Normal: You have to kinda get what’s going on and at least master the basics of how to play (e.g. if it’s a cover shooter, you like, take cover). Hard: You have to know most of the ins and outs of how to play to make it through, and even then you fail/die every now and then. (Levels above Hard can be for the god gamers.)

“Super mutants. I’m not gonna go over there and fight them, there’s too many.”

Speaking of avoiding combat, he is running away from the super mutants.

“Are you guys aware that you got a bunch of dickhead super mutants right down the street?”

Yeah, Phil, they are, that’s why the Diamond City guards you saw fighting them...were fighting them.

Mouses over an NPC, the cursor labels him Mayor McDonough. “Tuhuh, he’s the mayor.”

Masterful commentary.

“I’m not gonna even bother with the persuasion anymore because it never works.”

Okay, I was wrong before, Phil was in fact intentionally choosing to persuade with 1 Charisma.

He is now selling all the crafting components he’s accidentally picked up. Again, hope he’s not planning to craft later.

Phil wants chat to tell him where the bobbleheads and magazines are so he doesn’t have to look for them.

Chat told him where a magazine was, Phil was displeased to find it was another minigame.

Mass Effect superfan Phil doesn’t recognize Garrus’s voice.

Phil thinks this run is more fun than his previous run because this time he’s not using a guide and is doing it all on his own.

Vadim floats the idea of killing Travis the radio DJ, and Phil picks (shocker) the noncommittal answer. Piper dislikes that, which earns her being called a “stoopid idiot” by Phil. Then Vadim says he was joking and Phil asks, “Wow, what if someone heard that and took it serious?” I guess they’d be a stoopid idiot, then.

Phil still thinks the chems he crafts are better, they still aren’t.

He looks for a cooking station. “Can I make anything?”

You haven’t picked up any ingredients, so no.

“Oh my gawd, did you see my health?”

A missile exploded right next to you.

Guys, this game isn’t part of RPG overload because the RPG overload was slow JRPGs like Baldur’s Gate 3(??) and Final Fantasy VII and this game is Western and it’s pertinent because there’s a show and because he hasn’t played it in 9 years.

Phil found a magazine to boost his energy weapons but he’s not using those so “thanks for nothing”.

“I’m gonna end up running out of healing items at this rate.”

“Am I not collecting items for crafting? If I level up crafting eventually, then maybe it makes sense.”

“There’s nothing in there. Aw man, it’s terrible. So there’s really nothing here. This whole place is just a bust.”

In sum: Danse cleared Arcjet Systems, Phil was there. Phil went to Diamond City, saw maybe half of it, cleared HalluciGen, Inc. That’s 3 hours.
 
I love threads like this ever since Jimi made them a thing. Great explanation for lazy people like me. That said has seeing the summaries and going by the little ive seen of his Fallout gameplay, he wouldnt survive F1 or F2.
Dents would handhold him so he could probably make it through. Phil's actual problem is that he probably wouldn't be able to read the dialogue text on the screen without putting on his non-gunner glasses.
 
So he's not bothering with the crafting system at all? As annoying as it was, it was arguably one of the only things 4 did right with improving weapons. Customization was basically fucking endless. Guess that's too complex for DSP though.
 
So he's not bothering with the crafting system at all? As annoying as it was, it was arguably one of the only things 4 did right with improving weapons. Customization was basically fucking endless. Guess that's too complex for DSP though.
Watch him pick up everything for the sake of picking it up though.

He'll get into the crafting, it will take massive handholding for him to get it but he'll get there.
 
Phil is playing this again and I've managed not to commit ritual hara-kiri, let's roll.

Phil walks outside HallucinaGen and is immediately almost killed by a mine. Just made me laugh.

“Cool, I’m gonna sleep for an hour, get my health back for free.”

For the record, I really hate whoever came up with this mechanic and whoever keeps putting it in Fallout games. I’ve never done it because it’s stupid. Yeah, one hour’s sleep in a random bed in the middle of an enemy base—with active enemies in it, yet!—should totally restore all the player’s health.

A fan tells Phil he should use the expensive sword he bought, and he uses it to 1-shot the next 3 raiders he fights, scintillating gameplay. And because I’m a know-it-all bastard who likes to feel superior to stupid people, I’d like to point out this proves my point that Phil doesn’t need Better Criticals right now, how does 50% more crit damage help you against enemies that die in a single regular hit?

“What the fuck am I reading that for? What a worthless lahg.”

Bro, do you even Fallout?

Phil encountered a mirelurk and his sword wasn’t stabbing it well, so he Pip-Boyed to change weapons in the middle of fighting it, reminds me of how much he whined and raged when BG3 required his action for him to do change weapons.

“Piper Piper Piper…Piper where the fuck are you? Uhnnn…UHHNNNN!”

So when Phil sees an enemy he immediately panics and demands to know why his companion isn’t helping him, then once she’s bailing out his sorry ass he’s all UHHNNNN YEAH TAKE THAT BITCH, what a faggot.

“Another worthless terminal.”

Immersive “universe”, remember.

He has heard the sound of mirelurks approaching like 4 times and every single time he goes, “What is that noise?”

Phil STILL thinks “dirty water” means there’s dirt in the water and not that it’s radioactive.

“We gotta run, there’s too many rads.”

He immediately runs towards the source of the rads. Phil, are you even looking at the numbers? Why do you keep TOWARDS the increasing radiation?

Phil was killed by mirelurks, death 16.

Phil ran from the mirelurk queen and hit 2 mines that almost killed him, he is now trying to run past all the raiders he blundered into in his panicked cowardly flight from her, great streamer.

Phil absolutely WILL NOT fight outside of V.A.T.S. He walks up to each enemy, hits the V.A.T.S. button and mashes as many attacks as he can even if the enemy has like 10% health, then sits back while the game plays itself. I don’t agree with people who say Phil actively tries to make his gameplay as boring as possible, but watching this I see where those people are coming from.

“Cheese the queen? How could I do it? I feel like they set it up so you can’t cheese her.”

Man is good at his job of entertaining people.

Phil leveled and picked Critical Banker which lets him store crits to use later.

“Let’s do a hard save and then we are gonna see if we can cheese the mirelurk queen by like sniping her through the door, see if she’s stupid and won’t come through.”

She’s literally too large to fit through a door, what the fuck.

Killed by a mine, get fucked Dave. Death 17.

“Piper, you idiot! She’s so dumb.”

Negro, you swung at her when she was directly in front of you and the enemy you were swinging at was to the right of AND behind her.

“I’m not reading this, this is stupid.”

“The problem is if I try to cheese [the mirelurk queen] the rads are gonna kill me.”

“Dude I lost all my health, I don’t even know what happened, I have no idea what just happened.”

“Dude she’s taking no damage. She’s literally taking no damage. And she’s taking all my health! How is she fucking hitting me from that far away and taking all my fuckin health? You’re full of shit, dude.”

Phil has now pulled out the missile launcher he said he would never use.

“It did no damage! Why am I losing all my health? There’s no way she can be spitting down the corridor perfectly and hitting me, this is BULLSHIT. The game’s gonna make me waste all my items because it has a fucking cheating property where she can spit that far and hit me like a sniper? What are you, stoopid?”

Cool, so you’re cheating to beat the boss and that’s okay. What’s not okay is the game “cheating” to beat you (which it isn’t).

“Look at my health, dude this is NAHNSENSE. This is absolute NAHNSENSE, she’s just gonna keep taking my health away every time she spits. I’m gonna run out of fuckin stimpaks. This is dumb.”

Phil’s missile cheese has succeeded, he found a spot where the queen couldn’t hit him and used all 16 of his missiles to down her.

“Doing all that, I really didn’t get much. Yeah, a shitty pipe gun weapon is what I got, piece of junk. That’s my reward, huh?”

“Right now [Piper] just has a short laser musket that she’s refusing to use.”

She doesn’t have ammo for it. If only there were somebody standing right next to her who isn’t using laser weapons and has like 300 ammo for laser weapons….

He’s giving her more guns she has no ammo for.

“Oh you have to force them to equip it, is that true?”

no

Jesus Phil is bad at this game. He goes into V.A.T.S. on a raider while a raider with a chaingun is just lighting him up. He downs 2 stimpaks and goes into V.A.T.S. again on a turret and the raider just lights him up again, he would’ve died if the raider hadn't had to change out mags.

Now he’s whining that the rewards he got for coming to the Massachusetts State House aren’t good enough.

He’s convinced there’s a quest here later, there isn’t.

Piper has abandoned Phil.

Someone told him behind dah scenes to pick up duct tape and glue, so he is.

“What the fuck, where the fuck did you come from?”

Your compass shows like 8 enemies nearby, Phil.

Phil is UHHNing with Grognak’s Ax 1-shotting ghouls again, Critical Banker really paying off, eh Dave?

Phil thinks it’s ridiculous that a glove weapon is considered unarmed.

“I don’t know what happened to Piper, I guess we just ignore it. Who cares? Right?”

“Don’t need her anyway? No, I need her as a distraction, I need her as like a meat shield so all the enemies go for her so I can chop them up, that’s literally the only reason.”

Loves RPGs by the way.

We’re just over halfway through the stream and we’re at $23 with a top tip of $5. I can’t imagine why nobody is supporting Phil 2-shotting Triggermen in slow motion and acking. I’d say even he’s bored but it’s Phil, pressing 2 buttons to win is his ideal game.

“Speech bobblehead, all vendors will have more caps for bartering, that’s not very good.”

“I’ve played a lot of Fallout.”

I say this with total sincerity, Phil: You come across like someone who saw a few advertisements for the TV show and then skimmed the Wikipedia article for the game series. I wouldn't believe you had a played more than 5 minutes of any Fallout game if I hadn't seen the footage myself.

“I’m being told Incan Alpha is good for melee damage.”

I had to listen to it 4 times, I think he said “’in-game alcohol”, the Dave Had a Stroke theory is looking more reasonable....

He keeps doing rimshots at random, I don’t think he knows what a rimshot is for?

“‘Give what’s wanted’? I don’t even know what that means.”

what

“So let me get this straight: If I don’t do the Minutemen questline, do I never get bothered the entire game to defend any bases? If that’s the case, I just may never do it. That may be perfect for me, just never ever get bothered at all.”

Phil hits level 14 and has a perk point, and he wants 2 perks that require level 15. Will he save the point so he can get both perks he wants next level? Get it, I made a joke about Phil not immediately spending whatever he has.

“Let’s have [Nick] use the Righteous Authority. Hopefully he kicks ass with that, it’s a pretty good gun.”

Somewhere Paladin Danse is yelling FUUUUUUUUUCK YOUUUUUUUUU

“Nick teleported, did you see that?”

No Phil, that’s called “walking”.

Phil is spitting and raging that Bethesda are idiots because Dogmeat is blocking him from continuing. After running into and jumping into Dogmeat 15 times, running away and running back twice trying to get him to move, and raging some more, Phil finds the item he’s supposed to find and Dogmeat moves. Phil is silent.

Phil is now running around the roof of Fort Hagen saying there’s no way to enter the building, god this is horrible.

“Oh shit I fell again, I really am an idiot savant.

Phil accidentally dismissed Nick for Dogmeat and thinks the game is bugged for not letting him have both of them as companions (it’s not).

“I don’t know that cal-TROPS are a drug.” They aren’t, he doesn’t know what caltrops are or how to pronounce the word.

“The turret turned? Oh fuck you.”

Now I’m not sure Phil knows what a turret is.

“I don’t like having to use stimpaks if I have foooood, but the food isn’t fast enough to keep up in intense combat.”

Has he still not noticed that stimpaks heal over time in this game? Is that possible?

“It’s bullshit, I didn’t send [Nick] away, the game did. And now I have to suffer because of it.”

Negro, you asked Dogmeat to become your companion, I watched you do it, what the fuck.

“Yeah but I thought that when you craft [chems] they actually are better cause they last longer than the standards.”

no

Mass Effect megafan doesn’t recognize Thane’s voi—you know what, I’m giving Dave a pass on this one, I didn’t recognize Thane either.

“I wasn’t paying attention, I skipped his dialog.”

Yeah the guy who murdered your wife and stole your son is talking, why pay attention?

“Great stream, right guise?”

KIll yourself.

This was a boring-ass stream.
 
Watch him pick up everything for the sake of picking it up though.

He'll get into the crafting, it will take massive handholding for him to get it but he'll get there.
100% plus bitching about how kahmplex it is. The crafting system is so fucking simple to understand that you genuinely have to be a retard like DSP not to figure it out your own.
 
Phil is spitting and raging that Bethesda are idiots because Dogmeat is blocking him from continuing. After running into and jumping into Dogmeat 15 times, running away and running back twice trying to get him to move, and raging some more, Phil finds the item he’s supposed to find and Dogmeat moves. Phil is silent.
I'm surprised none of his dents explained that you can simply have the companion move for you so you don't get stuck or trapped anywhere.
 
How often does it crash out on him? The latest update made it next-gen garbage until F4SE catches up and there's a mod patch to fix it again.
 
And the oscar for best performance goes to...
"I took it, oh shit! I took it! by complete chance I took it and now I don't need to go back. Yeah wow, that's complete chance I really didn't know" (looks slyly at chat of dents who apparently just fall for this shit)
If I'm not mistaken (and someone correct me if I am cause I only watched a few seconds to try and get context) but he's bragging about picking up a main story item from the main story antagonist on the main story plot he was doing? I for one am shocked that item happens to connect to the next main story plot, truly, such a thing has never been done in video games before and Phil is a true gaming genius for cracking this difficult puzzle. I'm sure only a mere 99% of Fallout players also managed to get through the difficult battle of wits that's pressing the "loot all" button after a boss fight. I'm pretty sure that dialogue basically exists as a failsafe in case some small percentage of the playerbase forgot to loot the body/were right on the cusp of encumbrance and didn't want to risk looting anything else and having to manage their inventory.
 
I have no mouth, and I must recap.

Phil finds a key to the Fort Hagan armory, he doesn’t remember if he’s been to it yet. I remind you he last played 2 days ago.

Phil says he’s going to use his current weapon until he finds a better weapon. Quite the brilliant strategy from One of the Best Overall Gamers in the Country.

“What do you guys think, should I get more overall melee damage or Better Criticals?”

Class, which one is the better choice? Which was does Phil take?

“We got a Fat Man. Wait a minute, I’m offended. You can’t be saying stuff like that anymore. It’s 2024, you can’t say even say the word ‘fat’, you gotta say ‘pleasantly plump’ or something.”

Valedictorian Phil doesn’t know what “Fat Man” is a reference to.

“I don’t need no backstory.”

Phil has entered the room of the Act 1 boss, Kellogg, the man who murdered his wife and kidnapped his son. He is looting Kellogg’s room while Kellogg waits for him to do something.

“Iunna ignore him. I completely ignore him.”

Phil recognizes Kellogg’s voice actor as being in The Warriors, he wasn’t, he was Thane Krios in the Mass Effect series.

Kellogg killed Phil, death 18.

Phil did the fight again by trapping Kellogg in a corner when Kellogg wasn’t hostile.

“It’s great, I critical strike his head, didn’t even pull his gun out.”

Great streamer.

“I’m not even swinging, he’s doing it by himself. I totally wasn’t swinging, he kept doing it. Doopit.”

Because you’re mashing, Phil.

“I don’t even want his gun, his gun probably sucks.”

Kellogg’s gun is the strongest pistol in the game, I beat the game on Very Hard with it.

He’s still mad that “the game sent away” Nick.

“I pressed fusion core and he got into the armor. That was weird.”

You pressed the button to enter power armor and you entered the power armor, what’s weird about that?

“I’ve never seen Dune, like I said, I’m not really interested in Dune.”

“If I’m gonna partake of anything, usually it’s a little bit of liquor.”

Phil says he likes this build, which he describes as “you’re a big dumb brute”, no surprise there.

Killed by a mine, death 19.

“I might have gotten a tip, I need to check it in a sec. But first, I need to not die to a mine.”

Phil died to a mine. Death 20.

Phil sneaks through the grass outside the ruined building. “I don’t see it. What the fuck, man. I don’t see a mine anywhere. This is bullshit, it’s not even here. That’s some grade A bullshit, there’s nothing even there.”

There's nothing there because Phil is nowhere near where the mine was.

Someone told Phil to use V.A.T.S. to see the mine. V.A.T.S. didn’t show a mine (because see above), so he’s still bitching that there’s no mine in the place that there was no mine.

Oh lord, moar hacking.

“It ends in ‘s’.”

He chooses “arms” and it has 0 correct letters.

“WHAAA? This makes no fucking sense at all at this point.”

He failed the terminal after 7 guesses.

“That made no sense, completely wrong.”

“Even the easiest ones I can’t fucking do.”

Phil finds two “shortcuts”, each removes one wrong word.

“There’s also like NO shortcuts, if you take a look, there’s like nothing here to help.”

Nigga what

He is fiending looking for a “shortcut” to reset his guesses, the game is not having it.

He failed the same terminal.

“In previous playthroughs I was always good at hacking.”

X

He is in a room with like 20 blood packs in it, and every time he picks one up, he says “blood pack”. Top tier commentary.

“We’re gonna ignore hacking for the run.”

Now he is complaining the local map doesn’t show a hidden bunker. He says the local map is glitched because it doesn’t look like the area he’s in. (It does.)

He’s getting so annoyed trying to find this bunker, this is great, you just know he’s going to say whatever “rewards” he gets for finding it weren't worth it and that it was a waste of time.

Phil thinks half the stuff you do in this Fallout is wandering around finding stuff that turns out to be stupid.

Chat had to give Phil exact directions to find the bunker. When he gets to the entrance, he declares it “Impossible to find”.

“I spent 15 to 20 minutes on that, and for what? Nothing.”

Look at me, freakin Nostradamus over here.

An hour after saying he was going to return to Diamond City to continue the story, Phil has returned to Diamond City to continue the story.

Phil’s power armor icon is now pointing to the partial suit he accidentally entered earlier and he doesn’t remember where his full suit was.

God, Phil’s even dumber than I’ve given him credit for, I swear I can’t even think down to his level. Turns out he didn’t forget where his old power armor was, he thought it had disappeared. One of his idiots told him it’s still there, it’s just not marked on the map.

“Shit! Alright, after this conversation we should go get it.”

Man really thought his old power armor had literally vanished from the game rather than the map just no longer showing its location.

Phil is surprised again that T-51 power armor is better than T-45. It’s as if 10 minutes ago, when he first discovered this fact, just didn’t happen. It’s wild.

He raves about how much better the T-51 chestpiece is yet doesn’t have it equipped, because moron.

“That was a weird random mission, like who would’ve known to just walk up and talk to that dude?”

Me. It’s me. I mean, I saw a named NPC in an RPG, so I talked to him, what the fuck.

“[Some idiot] says that’s not how it works in [Fallout] 4, if it’s yellow it’s medium no matter what your charisma is, if your charisma is higher, it doesn’t help.”

That’s completely wrong, higher charisma does help you pass checks, I mean for fuck’s sake of course it does. I’m just mentioning this because I find it hilarious that Phil’s chat is full of people just as inept and confidently wrong as Phil himself is.

Phil leveled again and STILL didn’t take the +20% melee damage.

Phil is asked if he prefers Three Dog or Travis "Lonely" Miles, of course he says one of them is this and the other is that instead of answering the question. (For the record, Three Dog.)

Phil can’t figure out how to command Nick to do something, chat has to explain it to him. They tell him to stand farther from the terminal, he doesn’t and whines that it doesn’t work. When chat says again he needs to move farther away, he admonishes them that he is looking directly at it(??).

Nick explains his backstory. Phil’s only comment? “Nick the Dick, ack ack ack.”

He’s failing to get Nick to hack again.

“I took him with me to do hacking and it doesn’t work.”

Still hasn’t moved farther away, he is standing right where he was before.

Since Phil can’t figure out how to get Nick to hack the terminal, he’s going to do it. Strap yourself in.

“No tries reset? NO TRIES RESET?”

5 wrong words removed but okay.

“No fucking tries reset.”

He failed the terminal and is face-palming.

“‘Pale’, one correct. ‘Fuse’, one correct. So it ends with the letter ‘e’. But it’s naht pahssible, there’s no other words that end with the letter ‘e’. So these are fucked up. ‘Pale’ and ‘fuse’, the only common letter in those two words is ‘e’, so it means it has to end with the letter ‘e’. Take a look at the other words. There’s literally not another word that ends in e. So it’s wrong. These Novice ones are fucked up and wrong, it doesn’t even make any sense.”

I paused the video and looked over the words: It’s “fold”; “f” from “fuse” and “l” from “pale”.

“Right? Likeness one. The only common letter between the two words is ‘e’. It doesn’t make any fuckin sense at all. It has to be ‘e’ but there’s no other word that ends in ‘e’ so the puzzle is fucked up. So the puzzle is naht correct. Tsh. Oh, I see what you’re saying. It could be different letters of the same word. Here’s what we know: The word DOESN’T end in ‘e’. That’s what we know. The word can’t end in ‘e’.”

Goddamn, Phil is a certifiable retard. Of course the word can’t end in ‘e’, you already said there aren’t any choices that end in ‘e', Christ.

“This is a pain in the fuckin ass, dude.”

He is hunting for more shortcuts.

He failed the terminal again and gave up. I can’t prove it since he didn’t solve it, but I’m positive the correct word was “fold”.

Phil is confused because he had to pick the lock of the door he used to enter the building. That’s because this is a different door, but okay.

“I just got Investigate the Museum of Witchcraft randomly.”

Because you weren’t paying attention when the guard told you about it.

“I don’t see the doctor in this city.”

It’s nighttime, Phil. Now, usually I wouldn’t poop on somebody for that, but Dave has played the Bethesda Fallout games several times and both Fallout and Elder Scrolls games recently. Hell, he played Skyrim like what, a couple of months ago? So he should be quite familiar with Bethesda NPCs’ having a day/night cycle.

“No complaints from me, exploring is good enough, it’s fun.”

Hey Phil? You from about 30 minutes ago, who thinks half the exploration of this game is a stupid waste of time, would like to have a word with you.

“I don’t even know if I even sold properly, I’m not sure.”

“I’ve already explained multiple times how the harder difficulties in the game add nothing and make enemies sponges of damage and doesn’t make the game fun. It actually makes the game tedious, and boring, and annoying. So why would I make my game experience tedious, boring, and annoying?”

So that it matches the stream experience?

Another level, still hasn’t taking +20% more melee damage.

“What the fuck, why did it hit Nick?”

Nick was in front of the ghoul?

He’s complaining vendors don’t have a lot of caps, this from the guy who said the Speech bobblehead’s permanent boost to vendor caps wasn’t very good.

“Is this not just a big waste of time? So I did this whole thing for nothing.”

$22 in tips, so for you, yeah.

Summary: Phil beat Kellogg, ran from a super mutant suicider, dicked around Fort Hagen, half-assed the National Guard Armory.

With $22 in tips, this game is now on the chopping block, so we'll see how many more of these I have get to do!
 
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