one of my favorite examples of phil being a stupid poor fuck was the end of Witcher 3's Blood and Wine DLC. he had to pay like, 40 gold for some kid to shine his shoes as part of the final mission of the game. just 40 gold. he didn't have it. he didn't fucking have it. he had to run around trying to find some way to get 40g. by that point in the game I think I had 80,000g
A Phil Fallout 4 stream, each more boring than the last.
Phil is yet again avoiding the main story, this time in favor of Railroad missions to try to raise Curie’s affinity, and affinity with the Railroad, which doesn’t exist.
He’s droning on about how nice the game looks in 4K.
“[Curie] looks so different, tuhuhuh.”
Does he goat laugh at his Wife *thumbs at door* every day because she’s wearing different clothes?
He’s STILL going on about how smooth the game looks in 4K. I don’t care if the graphics were designed by the risen ghost of H.R. Giger, it’s not worth talking about this much.
Phil starts a conversation with Desdemona and immediately gets 2 “Curie loved that”s from his first two dialog choices. See what happens when you play the game, Phil?
“Oh gawd, she’s tryna flirt.”
Thank the Lords of Kobol Phil is gay and didn’t choose the flirt option, Curie doesn’t deserve that.
Phil lets out a good long ack when Curie says people shouldn’t express their attraction to others.
Still talking about the smoothness or the fps or some shit, I stopped listening.
“Imma try to be pahsitive cause, again, everything pahsitive here will build her affinity which gets us her perk, which I’m tryna do.”
“Hopefully doing missions for [Desdemona] will get Curie’s affinity up, which is what we’re tryna go for right now.”
Fake positivity to get what you want, familiar territory for our Dave.
“We’ve only had Curie with us like half the fuckin game and her affinity still isn’t goin up, sruhlye come ahn, man.”
Phil getting molested by bloodbugs, they’re like level 10 enemies.
“The Tesla Cannon is busted as fuck. This should not be in the game.”
Since Phil doesn’t want the game to be boring with no challenge, I’m sure he will now stop using the Tesla Cannon.
“So I’m only going to use this as a severe crutch.”
Oh.
Phil thinks Deacon is a synth, no clue where he got that idea. I don’t mean that he’s wrong—although he is—I mean there’s been nothing to indicate that.
“‘What makes you think Deacon is a synth?’ He said he’s a synth. All the people in the Railroad are synths, right?”
Wrong, the whole point of the Railroad is that they are humans that help synths, and Deacon’s whole thing is that he’s evasive about his past and much of what he says isn’t true. If you’re a Star Trek fan, think Garak.
His chat is now explaining to him that Deacon isn’t a synth, they seem just as confused as I am as to why he's so convinced about this.
Deacon tells Phil to say the Railroad password no matter what the contact says to him, 5 seconds later Phil answers the question the guy asks instead of giving the password.
Phil accidentally jumped off the interstate and died, death 32.
“Why does it think I’m still in combat, I’m naht.”
He is.
Early beg since we’re at $11 in tips.
“That was their leader, I killed him with one hit.”
The Synth Leader has like 5 pieces of tier 4 gear, Phil doesn’t even look at any of it.
“Uh I think he glitched, I think he’s supposed to open the door, but he’s stuck.”
Phil has downed Deacon 4 times trying to get him to open the door. No, I don't know why he thinks murdering Deacon will make him do anything.
Someone asks Phil what his favorite Fallout game is. I don’t want to shock you or anything, but Phil bloviates for a bit and then refuses to answer.
My man tried to use his melee block to stop bullets, it didn’t work.
Phil got molested by two MK 1 (i.e. the weakest) turrets and a couple of level 2 synths with both Curie and Deacon to help, it amazes me how bad someone can be at Fallout 4. I had a girlfriend years ago who had never played a video game once in her life. I was trying to get her into video games and she chose Fallout 4 as the one to try to see if they were something she could get into, she was playing better than Phil is now by the time she left Concord.
“We’ve already been in here for the story, yet we’re going in here again as if this is the first time.”
When you came to Railroad HQ before you were just some guy they'd never seen before, now you’ve joined the Railroad so Desdemona is introducing you as a member.
Phil is completely ignoring Desdemona introducing him to the Railroad people, I don’t think he even notices that she’s talking.
“I guess Deacon can be a companion because it keeps saying ‘Deacon liked that, Deacon liked that.’”
Phil was looking at the screen when the message “Deacon is available to be your companion” popped up, I don’t know why he’s unclear about this.
“Let’s go to Mawn senior [Monsignor] Plaza.”
“Oversharing is just as bad as…other things. In life. It really is. You know what I’m saying?”
no
Holy shit Phil is bad at this game. He has a mission to escort 2 guys to Fort Ticonderoga but since he won’t fight super mutant suiciders the guys aggroed an entire building of super mutants.
“Is there anything else up here? Is that literally it? I think that’s it. Came all the way up here to kill one dood. No reward or anything for it. How lame. What was the point of that?”
I don’t know asshole, you decided to go up there.
Phil used the Tesla Cannon to kill one super mutant, glad to see he’s not abusing the weapon he himself said is so overpowered it shouldn’t be in the game.
Phil will ban you no matter how much money you give him.
Phil ran so far off the path that he’s confused the AI so much it can’t figure out how to get back on the path, so he has to reload.
Reloading didn’t help since he’s the one who fucked up.
Because it worked so well the last time, Phil is murdering the NPCs that aren’t moving in order to get them to move.
He beat one of the NPCs while he was down and finally triggered them to turn hostile, so now he’s actually killed them and is reloading again.
“You’re kidding, he’s still over here. OH MAI GAWD, I can’t do this mission. He just goes over here no matter what and gets stuck.”
No Phil, he’s already there, you’re loading a save you made after you went way the hell off the path, he's already stuck at the point you saved.
“I gotta go back 10 minutes, it’s the only way to do this mission is to go back 10 whole minutes and start from the beginning again.”
He found a rolling pin so he’s doing an Italian impression that I think was part of the torture at Abu Gharib, which of course involves shoving the pin up someone’s ass.
“That’s it? So he went the wrong way the first time.”
Yeah Phil, the NPC went the wrong way.
That was it, by the way, this video is named “glitches and rage” and what did we get? Two glitches, one of which was caused by Phil's own idiocy, that mildly annoyed him for a few minutes. I guess “rage” doesn’t mean what I thought it meant.
Phil can’t read and understand a basic menu, he says he needs Blacksmith 2 to get the stealth mod for Pickman’s Blade, he currently has that mod installed.
Phil has completely forgotten that he played Starfield, despite his prediction it would be game of the year. And so has his audience, apparently, since one of them specifically said he has played a Bethesda game every year for the last 4 years and none of them was new. Phil agrees, listing Fallouts 4 and NV, Oblivion, and Skyrim.
Phil is baffled that Curie the medical scientist robot didn’t like his injecting a poison that a random nutjob told him was good for his health.
“Wow, he has complete junk.”
Tinker Tom has the best sniper rifle in the base game, but okay.
He got level 2 of Lead Belly, this is terrible. This really is how you DON’T play Fallout 4.
When I die and take my place in Hell, I’ll be watching Phil acking and flexing as his nearly level 40 character one-shots an endless stream of level 13 raiders.
“ACK ACK ACK ACK ACK ACK ACK ACK ACK ACK ACK ACK”
Somebody told Phil to try 3rd person combat. He did, charged into battle, and immediately downed Curie rather than the enemy he was trying to hit. First punch, first fight in 3rd person and he punched out his ally, at least he found it hilarious.
“It’s weird playing it like this, I’m not used to playing a game like this, man.”
??
He beat a deathclaw without its even laying a claw on him. I’m so glad I don’t understand people like Phil, it seems awful being someone like him.
I remember once I was playing Mass Effect 3 on the highest difficulty and I’d specced and geared my character such that I could 1-shot Banshees, the game’s toughest enemies. After downing a couple I realized I was done with the game, there was just no point in playing anymore. (In case anyone wonders: Infiltrator with fire-from-cloak bonuses, fully upgraded Widow sniper rifle with armor-piercing/damage increase mod, headshot/sniper damage bonuses plus Banshee headshot bonus damage)
The whole time I was writing that little digression he’s been babbling, I haven’t been listening.
Phil has blundered into a building mission for the Red Rocket gas station. He has to build defenses for a new settlement, he has no idea how to do it.
“Gears, I need gears. You think there’s gears here I can use?”
Not this close to the starting area, gears are tier 2 crafting components, get fucked.
“I really do like classical music.”
X
He looked around his immediate area and didn’t find any gears, so he’s given up.
Now we’re scrolling through the build menu looking for the recruitment radio beacon, chat had to tell him where to find it and also how to tag materials so that they're highlighted in the world.
“We’re gonna have to search for a while and come back.”
A long while, since he needs copper too and that’s fairly hard to come by the quantities you need.
“Ah well fuck this, I’m probably never gonna do this.”
Phil is looting the Railroad base, for some reason they don’t get called stupid idiot morahns for letting him take all their stuff like the Brotherhood did.
“This is everything I would want, all their food.”
Man is level 39 going nuts over finding a box of Instamash.
And he’s encumbered again, I can’t even fathom getting encumbered when you have 9 strength, I usually have like 4. And he’s far far beyond the point of picking up irradiated food.
“I gotta look closer at my environment, man.”
Man is a literal retard. He is standing at the workbench mashing the button for “build”.
“Why can’t I build it? Why can’t I build it? Look. It won’t let me build a generator.”
You’re trying to construct it inside the floor, Phil.
Chat had to tell him he has to place the generator somewhere, there are fates worse than death and what I’m doing right now is one of them.
He is 1 copper short to build the recruitment radio beacon, it’s like I’m Nostradamus.
The worst part of watching this is that Phil is so bored with his own play that he constantly sings to entertain himself, I’d rather listen to an endless loop of "Baby Shark" than 5 seconds of this.
Phil failed a terminal again, he just guesses until he gets it right or he’s able to remove like 6 wrong words, if neither of those things happens he fails.
Phil is trying to mock Curie by doing a French accent and he can’t, it amuses me, it’s about as accurate as his Astarion imitation was.
Phil’s getting molested by ghouls again.
I’m in awe of how poorly Phil understands this simple RPG. He found a metal left arm that reduces damage from ghouls by 15% which he says probably isn’t good (which is true since he’s fucking level 39). Then he sees his current left arm, it’s exactly the same only for humans instead of ghouls.
“The ghoul slayer’s better! I take it back, ghoul slayer’s actually better, we got a good piece of armor here.”
Fucking lol.
“I’m so happy I didn’t use power armor, the playthrough woulda been like fucking CHILD’S PLAY if I’d used power armor.”
Ended the stream with an organic $67 in tips, $50 of that from a single whale tip.
I don’t know why he still has this on the day stream, but that means 3 more hours tomorrow. See you then, childrens!
Can you imagine being the Cashier at a store and asking Phil if he's paying with cash or card and then getting hit with a three hour rant before getting a non-answer about what he's using? I really don't understand why this retard has such a difficult time answering questions.
Remember last time when I said each Phil Fallout 4 stream is more boring than the last? If it gets more boring than this one, time might actually start flowing backward.
“There’s literally only one mission for the Railroad, I don’t know about this.”
You have to play the game, Phil, the faction stories are tied into the main story because the game is good.
He’s asking his chat to tell him about any “meaningful” side missions that he’s missed so he can do them now. He says this as he determines to continue doing a mission that he knows is a radiant mission for reasons no one can fathom.
Phil is pathologically afraid of the in-game radio because of copyrighted music so he won’t listen to the frequency that leads him to recruit Strong, great streamer.
He’s bitching at Curie about not getting her perk yet.
Now he’s bitching about a room being “completely pointless” because the mission he’s currently doing isn’t inside it.
Now the entire building is pointless.
“That was stupid, that was a waste of time.”
Remember when we were talking about how 90% of Fallout 4 was exploration? Because Phil doesn’t.
Someone tells Phil not to get level four Lockpicking because it’s a stupid waste of a perk point as I’ve already noted, Phil says he sees his point.
Phil has stumbled upon Vault 95, he doesn’t know what it is because he spent so little time in Diamond City he never got the breadcrumb to find Cait, whose personal mission takes you here. I find this sad because Cait is one of the game’s most interesting characters and also a hot Irish lady.
I don’t know why Assaultrons are even in the game on Normal, they die so fast they’re never able to use their primary weapon.
Phil is very annoyed he has to heal in a fight because he’s about to die.
“Why can’t I shoot dih fucky tin?”
Because you aren’t holding a gun. If you mean why you can’t hit it with your fist, it's because the turret is like 10 feet up on the wall.
Phil, by his own admission, did not remember the Gary vault from Fallout 3, how is that even possible, how do you play Fallout 3 multiple times and not remember the fucking Gary vault.
“‘Go with the Life Giver perk under Endurance, it’ll give you more health making you beefier. At level 3 your health regenerates on its own and you don’t even need to eat food.’ Oh wauw, that’s a great suggestion, maybe we’ll start working on that, then. Maybe we’ll start working on Life Giver.”
Man is a moron, like a certifiable moron. Why would you spend 3 perk points to not take any damage from irradiated food, then spend 3 more points to not eat food at all. Granted, as I said Lead Belly is possibly the worst perk in the game, but Phil already got it, so why get another perk—at the cost of 3 points, that’s 3 levels—to render it from mostly useless to entirely useless?
“There’s a ton of Gunners in this room, holy shit, holy shit, oh mai gawd, yo there’s so many. I might have to use my Tesla Cannon.”
Killed by an Assaultron because Phil was hiding from all the Gunners so she had time to charge her laser cannon, walk up, and blast him, death 33.
“This is gonna be a tough vault for me. Why? Cause I have no energy resistance whatsoever.”
How’s that metal armor working out for you, Phil?
38 hours in he’s hotkeying his weapons again. If you guessed he will never once press any of these hotkeys the rest of the stream, give yourself a gold star.
He’s reading all the terminals in the vault and incorrectly summarizing what they say.
He got a notification to defend Finch Farm, I think he’s still not noticing these.
“We have to combine theesh tyoo, do we naht? But I don’t remember how to do that. How do I connect this and this? How do I connect this to this?”
It says press Y to attach wire on the screen.
Phil sacrificed Curie to a suicider again.
“What they want is to cauuuuuuse prahblems and drama for others because it takes their mind off the fact that there’s something missing in their life. The thing is people don’t have anything going on in their lives so they wanna cause problems for others.”
He’s just ranting about trolls, drama, and bullies, I zoned out. All I got out of this 20 minute rant is that Phil doesn’t care about trolls and his stream isn’t about drama.
Oh Lords of Kobol, my man did get Life Giver, certifiable retard.
Now Phil is shitting on people that like to watch him play on a challenging difficulty and fail, saying they aren’t welcome on his stream. I seem to remember someone saying he doesn’t mind people coming to watch him fail and rage at games as long as they just laughed at him sucking and didn’t do tahxic stuff like insult his Wife *thumb at door* or whatever, I wonder who that was.
Phil finds a melee weapon that adds 50% damage against ghouls.
“Let’s try it out.”
Excellent time to do that, right here in this hospital full of super mutants.
“I’m just running by it all, I don’t wanna fight 700 enemies.”
“Yeah I can’t just insta-kill anymore, I can’t, I can’t just insta-kill anymore.”
“I screwed it up, I wasn’t paying attention.”
Phil’s lost in the Dunwich Bores.
“I just don’t get it. I feel like they screwed this up, I do, I feel like they messed this completely up, that I’m never gonna max [Curie’s affinity], as much I’m been trying. It’s pretty stupid. There’s definitely something wrong, that she’s not maxing it out, this relationship, at this point. Shebuhwuh me for like 20 hours.”
There is indeed something wrong, pretty sure I know what it is.
Somebody tells Phil to sell a gun he just dropped on the ground, he laughs at the very notion.
He’s looking at the Devastator chest armor and complaining that it’s too expensive again, that’s 3 times now.
“The cost makes it completely unusable. I wonder whoever actually bought that.”
I did. It’s me.
Only an hour left on the stream and we’re at $8 in tips, yet Phil hasn’t begged once, so we know what’s coming.
The game corrected Phil’s pronunciation of mutfruit.
“The Khambat Medic perk, let’s see what that is, FINALLY, it took so long, right?”
He reads the perk. It’s nothing like what he’s been saying he expected for the last 25 hours, but he seems fine with it.
“MacCready? Who’s MacCready? MacCready is from Fallout 3?”
Now Phil’s singing…Backstreet Boys, I think? Satan must have a personal grudge against me.
“MacCready was one of the kids from Little Lamplight? Oh. I don’t remember that.”
Phil accidentally started a conversation that progresses the story, he’s mad about it.
“This sucks, I dih wann do dis. I TOTALLY advanced the plotline by complete accident.”
Someone called Hair of the Dog, who has been superchatting messages all night, sends a superchat that Phil thanks him for only this time he doesn’t read it, so we know what it says.
I can’t emphasize enough how little Phil adds to his own stream. He has like a 5 minutes conversation with Nick Valentine, he’s completely silent, we’re just watching the game the same as we would if Phil evaporated out of existence.
After 2 ½ hours, Phil is now doing the mission he started at the beginning of the stream.
“Hey if we can make a last minute you know rally and hit that first tips goal.”
You sound kinda certain there, Phil, almost as if a whale superchatted you a message saying he would do this.
You can’t make this stuff up, Phil reads a Pip-Boy entry explaining what he’s doing and immediately asks, “What are we doing?”
“I maxed out Cait in my first playthrough? I don’t remember this person at all.”
I just want to point out that Phil is level 42 and hasn’t even been to the Institute yet. I think I finished the game at level 44 or something and I recruited every companion (Phil’s still missing three), with like 4 or 5 of them at max affinity. My point is I don’t understand how he’s so far into the game having accomplished so little.
Annnnnnnd there’s the whale tip Doghair superchatted Phil about, which is why he didn't beg on this stream.
Phil running past all the enemies in the Glowing Sea again.
Phil abandoned his companion to suiciders again, Hancock this time.
A troll says Phil is faking tips, he responds by saying for the last 3 years he’s hidden his tips so they could all be fake. So…owned, I guess?
This was a short one, most of it was just him ranting about trolls. He’s playing this before watching live some gamer event I don’t care about, so I’ll probably just roll that one into the next real Fallout 4 stream. Stay safe, childrens!
Why does he bother finding ways to make these games boring and unfun. I legit don't understand how he could possibly imagine hiding from combat encounters as fun and entertaining. It would be like livestreaming HOI4 as Nepal or Tibet then wondering why the game is so boring.
He is really not going to like Curie if he does hit affinity with her though because that is when romance opens up. RIP sexy French synth lady, you will be shot down because Phil is faithful to another shorthaired queen.
iunno if this is true or not, because I ain't a fallout 4 expert, but I didn't know what Combat Medic was, so I looked it up on the Fallout wiki, and "This perk does not work due to a coding error that makes it trigger at 10.0 or 1000% health instead of at 0.1 or 10%."
Four hours of Fallout 4, how much nothing can one man cram into one stream? Let’s find out.
Phil is convinced the random encounter between the Brotherhood and a group of raiders that ended his last stream was scripted because he was near Vault 88, it wasn’t.
“Slahw? Slow?”
Slough, Phil, it’s pronounced “sloff”, some valedictorian.
“What is going on?”
Raiders are shooting you, hope that clears things up for you.
He’s still eating scavenged food that he should’ve stopped bothering to even pick up 30 levels ago and it’s upsetting to me.
Phil’s memory problems on full display, he’s confused that the radar is showing enemies below him because that’s the area he came from, seemingly forgetting that moments ago he ran past all of them to rush upstairs.
I’m sure I don’t even need to say this at this point, but the game mentions Doctor Braun and Phil has no reaction, I’m ready for him to say he’s never played Fallout 3, honestly, he certainly seems to have forgotten everything about it.
He’s babbling about video settings and how great his SF6 footage looks, I’m not listening.
“I’m actually eating and drinking good food now.”
You’re level 42 so you gotta start some time.
“Clear the rubble? Now how would I do that? How do I clear rubble? So what am I doing? Do I clear rubble? Right? I don’t know. Am I supposed to know how to do that, how to clear the rubble?”
Yes.
“Is that a friendly feral ghoul?”
what
“Who’s Doctor Braun?”
Phil is failing to enter the crafting screen. For anyone who’s never played this game, that requires you to hold down 1 button for 2 seconds.
Phil’s so dumb he really can’t figure out “hold down the button” so he walks back to the workbench every time he needs to enable crafting, this is terrible.
Now we’re watching Phil scroll through the build menu because he’s a moron and can’t find the special item he’s supposed to build. (Hint: It’s under “special”.)
“She’s pretty slow, hah? Wauw. Okay, I guess we’re in no rush. She’s fine, she’ll take her time.”
Pretty ballsy of this guy to talk about people taking a long time to do things.
No idea why Phil, who hates and has completely avoided building in this game, has chosen to spend 90 minutes doing the building DLC.
Who would’ve thought Phil’s godawful “molerat mother” song would be a thing? A truly horrid, horrid thing.
It’s still hilarious to me to watch Phil at level 43 contemplate whether he should use a leather leg armor, something I wouldn’t use past level 12.
“Stupid rads, I’m not losing health but the rads are annoying, I gotta get the RadAway and Rad-X.”
4 perk points wasted on Rad Resist, though I guess it doesn’t matter since he’s absurdly overlevelled and just throwing perk points away now.
Killed by a Legendary Glowing Deathclaw, death 34.
“I have to redo the whole fuckin thing, cause I dinna save.”
Seething in silence as he does so, he’s completely quiet for like 2 minutes only speaking again to greet Derich.
Phil blabbers on about his original Fallout 4 run, the upshot of it is that he committed to playing all its DLC but abandoned that commitment when he didn’t get sufficient views because views equaled money for him back then. That’s not the way he phrases it, but it’s what he says.
“I don’t know where I am, I’m totally lost right now. This is annoying.”
“Do I go through here? Now I’m REALLY lost. Oh mai gawd, this is confusing, a very confusing DLC.”
Goddamn Phil is stupid, like he’s unbelievable stupid. He has crafting up and he sees an enemy so he runs away like a bitch because “I can’t fight them with this open.” Negro, just close it, it says “Exit” and shows the button you need to press on the screen, just close it.
“I’m pleased with this find, I don’t feel like I wasted my time coming over here.”
Phil switched out his ghoul slayer’s left arm that he raved so much about last stream for an item that’s even worse for him, he just amazes me with how bad he is at this game. Its numbers are slightly worse and it gives him a benefit that only works when sneaking, which Phil basically never does, in fact he will never sneak once in this stream or the next.
“We gotta figure out where we get the control board for this area, we haven’t found it yet, we need it to clear the tunnel.”
Phil’s so blind he missed the control board not 30 seconds earlier, I was only half paying attention to the screen and I saw it.
Phil’s idiots tell him to push the button to open crafting mode instead of walking all the way back to the workbench every time, he declares it doesn’t work and shows himself pressing the button on camera and it opens. He then declares it works “randomly”. No Phil, it works when you do it right.
The DLC makes a Blade Runner reference and Phil, the cultural troglodyte, doesn’t recognize it. Of course he famously hated Blade Runner, I just find his ignorance personally offensive, it’s just uncivilized not to appreciate Blade Runner as an artistic achievement even if it’s not your particular bag.
Phil got only one superchat and no tips in this entire 90 minutes of Fallout 4, you love to see it. On to the next stream.
“I don’t know if I wanna do this or not, some people were saying the rest of this DLC is resource gathering and building, and I’m wondering if I wanna do it. Is there any better rewards coming up or anything, or is it literally just crafting? If it’s just crafting, I don’t know if I wanna do it.”
It’s just crafting, and he does it.
Someone tips Phil to tell him that he can press a button when looking at a mission to show where that mission is on the map, Phil is 41 hours into the game and didn’t know he could do this.
“I feel like this is gonna be tedious and annoying because I don’t know how to do it.”
“I need screws, none of this stuff has screws. There’s no screws in any of this.”
“Do you see any fans?”
He immediately turns left and there’s a fan on the ground to his left, he doesn’t see it cause blind.
“Dude there’s like no fans anywhere.”
Chat tells him where the fan he missed was, he says he’ll never find it and continues looking around where he currently is, so thanks for the help chat, Phil really cares what you have to say.
“Is this where I came from? I can’t figure this out. Arrrgghhh ohmaigawd, I dunno where I’m going. I can’t figure this out. I’M BACK AT THE START. I’m going in a circle.”
Phil’s lost in Hallucinageni again.
He’s just building stuff and sitting silently through the conversations occasionally goat laughing, you’re not missing anything.
“She types pretty well for not even looking.”
Yeah, some of us can do that, Phil.
“Why does Hancock dislike this? Hancock doesn’t like anything, he’s an asshole.”
I can’t imagine why the guy whose entire thing is personal freedom and hedonism doesn’t like the idea of the government profiling people and using that information to manipulate them.
Phil refuses a request to increase the difficulty because "all it does is make the enemies damage sponges”. Great streamer, people are obviously bored watching this and Phil’s not going to do anything to change that. Plus it’s not even true, harder difficulties make enemies hit the player harder which obviously would be a problem for Phil considering how terrible his armor is (though someone told him to buy Tinker Tom’s clothing so he got a pretty big defense boost from that).
“There’s a sea monster? East of the Harbormaster Hotel? Okay. In the water?”
Where the fuck do you think a “sea monster” would be?
Phil’s just not even trying with his perks anymore, he’s just bored with choosing them now. He got Refractor for +10 energy resistance, I guess if you aren’t going to bother with gear you can boost your defense with perks. It’s not like he would’ve spent the perk well otherwise so I should probably just let it go.
Phil is mystified that a baseball player appears on his screen.
“It’s Big Leagues? What is that?” [reads the perk] “It’s an instant kill I’m getting. Ohhhhhh, I dih een unnerstan nat.”
“East of Harbormaster…IN DA WATER?”
Yes in the water, that’s where you’d find a sea monster.
“How the hell did he get his submarine here all the way from China? Wouldn’t he need an insane amount of fuel?”
Ballistic missile submarines are nuclear, Phil, they can circle the globe for months without refueling.
“How is he the only one that turned into a ghoul? Everyone else just died.”
It’s well-established Fallout lore that radiation turns some people into ghouls and not others, it’s like he’s never played a Fallout game before.
Phil doesn’t know what a plot hole is.
Phil confirms he doesn’t know if a nuclear-powered submarine is powered by a nuclear reactor.
“We’ve been playing for an hour, doesn’t feel like it.”
I’ll say, probably not how you mean it, though.
Phil pronounces it “newkular” like the mongoloid he is.
“There’s nothing really that tough in this game, right?
“This used to be a museum but the ship washed on top of it or something, if I remember correctly.”
No, the ship is the museum, it’s the USS Constitution, only the oldest and most famous ship in your country’s entire Navy.
“Aw, I don’t even want this, reduce damage of [ghouls]—I don’t want this shit, drop this stupid thing.”
Ghoul slayer’s trait is shit now, for those of you keeping up with whether we’re at war with Eurasia or East Asia.
“Guy won’t die, what the fuck. This thing sucks.”
Guess which weapon Phil’s using. Now guess again why the guy won’t die.
“That was a headshot.”
No Phil, that’s called a miss.
Phil fired 15 shots with his sniper rifle, he might have hit 4 times.
Ironsides says the scavengers are fleeing, Phil keeps shooting at them and goes “Are we done?” Maybe he doesn’t know what “struck their colors” means.
“A star next to an enemy’s name means that they’re a rare enemy that’s hard to kill, basically, they’re tougher.”
Man is 43 hours into the game and had to be told this by a guy in chat.
A fan suggests to Phil that he make a different choice in the Constitution mission from the one he made the first time, he refuses to even consider it.
“You do get different rewards? Well, which is better for my build? I don’t think it matters.”
Oh, that’s why he didn’t care about changing the decision. He also doesn’t seem to care about Hancock’s approval since he keeps making decisions the Mayor would obviously hate, not sure why he picked Hancock really.
Massive beg because “the reAck streams did poorly today”.
I know I’m beating this dead horse, but Phil plays this game so badly. He’s absurdly overlevelled for the content he’s doing and he’s been spending perk points to upgrade his defense so that he can run around the late game with tier 1 gear, so he’s pretty much impossible to kill on Normal. He even took a robot blowing up in his face and a car blowing up pretty close to him and he only lost 50% health. Unless it’s a legendary deathclaw, nothing can cause enough damage to outpace his healing, even a direct missile hit wouldn't kill him at this point.
Still, if you watch him play, he’s just awful. He runs up and mashes the button wildly, often missing or falling off whatever platform he’s on, or eating an explosion or grenade full on because he doesn’t react to them, or whaling on an ally by mistake. It’s just the definition of brute force. No finesse, no use of the mechanics or even understanding them, no consideration of terrain or weapon types, just build a character that’s, ironically, a damage sponge, and mash melee attack with your most damaging weapon until all the enemies are dead.
“At this point, I don’t need the food that much anymore, since I’m auto-regenning my health.”
Phil has already forgotten Fort Hagen, where he confronted Kellogg.
“How do I get out of here? Aw, don’t let me be stuck in here. How do I get out? How do I leave? I can’t figure it out. How do I leave? I’m just going in a circle, I can’t find my way out.”
“There’s a lift? Wait there’s a lift? I didn’t know that. There’s a lift on the boat? How was I supposed to know this was a lift?”
Fucking Ironsides told you about it, you stupid, stupid man.
“He won’t talk cause he’s fighting.”
Phil failed the Constitution mission, I didn’t even know that was possible so I had to check the wiki. Apparently it fails if any scavs reach the main deck.
“You’ve gotta be kidding me, he just got hit by bullets and stopped talking. Someone shot him mid-dialog and now he won’t finish.”
So he’s just supposed to stand there gabbing at you while he’s being shot? Does Phil hear the things he says or do they just flow through the empty space between his ears?
He is raging and saying the game is glitched because Ironsides fights the enemy instead of standing there talking to Phil while taking fire, I don’t know of a clearer indication that when Phil says a game is “glitched” what he means is “the game isn’t doing what I want it to do”
I know I said he’s basically unkillable, because he should be, but he’s so bad he almost died to scavengers just now. I don’t know how, they should be no threat to him with their weapons and his damage resistance,.
Phil failed the mission again.
Phil has failed the mission a third time.
Now he’s save-scumming the final battle of the mission.
Phil failed the mission again.
Phil has failed a fifth time.
He’s at least as dangerous to his allies as his enemies, he’s killed Constitution crew members more than once in these battles.
Saving after every group of enemies he fights now, he really doesn’t want to do this mission again.
“Why is there a grenade?”
A scav threw it.
Phil finally completes the mission and Constitution flies off, only to get stuck again. I thought it was pretty funny, personally. Phil’s reaction? Dead silence. I am not joking, he sat silently through the whole thing, took off the glasses, saved and closed the game without a single word. He then says there’s more Fallout 4 next time and we're out, as if ending his stream like that would make anyone want to see more.
What a limp dick ending to the worst stream of Fallout 4 yet, Phil amazes me at how he somehow digs underneath rock bottom and sinks even lower with every stream.
This is a marathon, not a dash, I gotta pace myself because I’m in for the long haul.
Phil says his audience doesn’t want him to go to the Institute but to do more side missions or a major expansion. I don’t know if that’s true or if it’s another instance of “alotta peepul” telling Phil to do the thing Phil wants to do, but either way I hate it.
“Again wih dih shih? What is going on? Glitchy booshe.”
Man is again confused that Ironsides responds to getting shot by shooting back.
Phil can’t find the enemies, so we’re just watching a blind man walk around a boat.
“Yes, they’re fighting enemies on the ground, this game is bugged as fuck man. They’re under me directly and I can’t see. This is crap. This is crap.”
After like 5 minutes of wandering around complaining about glitches ‘n’ bugs, Phil finally decides to do what I thought of in 5 seconds and goes down to ground level to kill the enemies attacking Ironsides.
“Way a minuh, if I have Luck of 11, why can’t I get dese? Oh da doesuh mae sense. It outright says I have a Luck of 11, but here I can’t get a perk that’s higher? Oh that’s pretty stupid.”
Like, obviously it’s not going to work like that, what the fuck.
Now he’s bitching that Ironsides won’t let him raid Constitution for stuff. So to recap: The Brotherhood were idiots on multiple occasions for letting Phil take their stuff, it was neat that the Railroad let Phil take their stuff, and Ironsides and crew are stupid because they won't let Phil take their stuff.
Chat and/or Phil has chosen Far Harbor and I’m hating life.
“How do I leave? How do I leave? Fuck this. That’s awesome. Fuck you. I’m going back to Sanctuary to get Nick, ack ack ack. Fuck off, I’m outta here.”
The Far Harbor DLC starts with a big battle to save the town from horrible monsters, Phil leaves the DLC rather than participate.
“That’s pretty cool I have all these places now, all these settlements, that’s cool.”
Remember when Phil said settlements were a stupid waste of time and he wasn't going to bother with them? Phil doesn't.
Remember like 30 hours ago when Nick wanted to talk to Phil and Phil was too dumb to figure out how to initiate a conversation? You don’t? It doesn’t matter, anyway, we’re finally getting that conversation.
“So, will this [terminal] tell us what to do? I guess.”
Negro, Nick just told you what to do: Find 10 holotapes and get numbers from them which will reveal Eddie Winter’s location.
“Don’t worry, I’m gonna turbo through it, I’m just gonna rush through it, I’m not gonna take my time.”
Best way to play this immersive RPG.
“Damn they go down SO FAST.”
“I know I could play the tapes, I just don’t care. I’m here to complete the quest, not to fuckin study the lore.”
Remember when Fallout games were great because they had “tons of lore”? Phil doesn’t.
“Is there a holotape in here? There’s always been a holotape in every other place.”
The compass is showing where it is, exactly, distance and direction, everything. I don’t think he knows he has a compass.
“I don’t see any tape.”
The compass is showing it’s on the floor above him.
“What the fuck I’m going the WRONG WAY? Aw, shitballs, I’m going the wrong direction, shitty fuckin ass.”
Okay, he was following the marker on the compass toward another part of the mission (the wrong marker, but still), so I officially have no idea why he never used the compass to find the holotapes.
“Hang on, I gotta drop stuff, I have TOO MANY ITEMS. I guess I’m just gonna eat some food even though I don’t need to anymore.”
“I don’t need these anymore.”
At level 46, Phil is finally dropping scavenged food. He also dropped the 65 blood packs he’s been carrying since like level 14.
“I’m a man of my word.”
Phil is bitching about there being a lot of enemies in Quincy, I mean did you expect him to remember Preston telling him Quincy is a major Gunner base? You know the drill, he just mashes attack until everything dies, he got hit by like 3 grenades and an exploding car and he didn’t notice any of it. His health got pretty low a couple of times but he can’t be damaged enough to outpace his healing, a legendary gunner who was wrecking him bugged when he mutated and just stood there doing nothing until Phil managed to stab him to death.
Phil gets 2 tips, the first doesn’t get put on the leaderboard despite being higher than the current top tip, the second is a troll he ignores. Great way to spend your money, guys.
Phil getting smoked by low level raiders with pipe weapons again, how is he so bad at this.
“I don’t even know where I’m going, I was just running around killing everything.”
“My build has gotten even better than it was before.”
Negro your build is shit, you've got a few decent perks because you’re so absurdly overleveled that you have a lot of points, but you also have some of the game’s worst perks, perks that replicate other perks, and perks that render useless other perks you have. And you don’t even know it because you’re terrible at your job and have no idea how to play this game, Dunning-Kruger effect on full display.
Nick takes his revenge on the man who murdered his wife. Phil’s reaction? “I did not change the sound settings, that is incorrect, that did not happen.”
“I’m not even gonna pick up food items anymore cause I don’t need them anymore. I really don’t, I’m just gonna be able to auto-heal now? So I don’t need any food items.”
“Ryan, if you find Fallout 4 boring, just leave, we don’t need to hear you sitting here bitching about it because you don’t like the game, you think it’s too easy. Fallout 4 was always easy quite frankly. If you’re here for challenge, you’re here for the wrong game.”
Remember when Phil didn’t want the game to be too easy and wanted to make sure there was some challenge because otherwise it’s boring? Phil doesn’t.
“I found half the bobbleheads.”
Well, you have half the bobbleheads, but your chat directed you to like half of those, so you’ve found more like ¼ of the bobbleheads.
“The super sledge is too slow for my styyyyyle.”
True enough, mash attack as fast as possible certainly is a style.
“Spray ‘n’ Pray? Bullets explode on impact, what da fuck? It’s mostly junk, she doesn’t really have anything good.”
Fuck you, Spray ‘n’ Pray is beast. I did an automatic weapons build and Spray ‘n’ Pray was my main weapon, it was fun as hell.
“Oh, I’ve almost saved up enough to buy one of the expensive items back in Goodneighbor. You really expect me to play the whole game to buy one piece of armor? What were dey tinking there wit dah pricing, dasso stupid. ‘Oh I’ve played 40 hours, I can finally buy my first piece of armor.’”
And with that Phil has now complained a 4th time that the Devastator set is too expensive to obtain, though this time he wasn’t actually looking at it. Again, nobody tell him that I’ve gotten not just one but both pieces at level 15, and I’m sure somebody who knows more about this game than me could do it even earlier. All it takes is paying attention to what the game tells you: that high Charisma means you buy for lower and sell for higher, that you can raise your Charisma from items and drugs, that some items don't have weight (so you can hang onto a lot of them until you're ready to make a big purchase), and oh yeah, a little ol’ thing called Grape Mentats…
“Spray ‘n’ Pray is the best gun in the game, is it really?”
I don’t know if I’d call it best, that’s probably Overseer’s Guardian as far as an all-around best gun, but if you build around Spray ‘n’ Pray like I did that one time (for example, the gun itself benefits from automatic weapons perks like Commando, and its unique effect is boosted by Demolitions Expert), it’s up there.
“Dude th-the mission is glitched, your [sic] gotta be kidding me, this mission is glitched. She’s in the water and won’t move, look. This is not good. Look she’s stuck. Yo, this mission is all messed up.”
Yeah, some stupid asshole started the scripted fight and then abandoned it.
“I lie how they act like it’s a ship, it’s just a town, but they act like it’s a ship.”
“And TheHollow, complaining about the difficulty, you can leave. Okay.”
“Yeah I don’t know, the stream chat is really dead right now, I don’t know why. Earlier people were talking, now allasudden it went dead when I started playing the DLC.”
Man is now actively avoiding the expansion’s main story in favor of more side missions.
Someone in the chat says Longfellow reminds them of Quint in Jaws. “I agree with you, he does kinda loo lie dah.”
You’re a moron, Phil, a genuine retard. First, Longfellow doesn’t look anything like Quint. Second, your idiot fan obviously meant that Longfellow is a grizzled old fisherman who’s a loner and a drunk and vaguely Irish but really knows his shit and is brave enough to take on the most dangerous creatures out there, like those are what makes him like Quint, you absolute mong.
“He attackt-ed [sic] a post on the wall.”
“But I don’t remember what my chestpiece does.”
It adds 2 Luck, Phil, why do I know that and you don’t, Jesus Christ.
“I wanna do what’s right rather than what’s profitable, awright? It’s the story of my life, basically, I’m not even kidding.”
“I can’t blawk. I CAN'T BLAWK.”
“Why would I wan dah?”
Earlier in the stream it was good that he had a bunch of settlements, now he doesn’t want one.
“Don’t need fusion cores. Nope.”
Why not sell them? You’re still picking up ammunition to sell for God knows why.
“Oh this is for the story, I definitely don’t wanna do this.”
“Oh my light was AHN? It was on the whole time, hah?”
Okay I added the second part.
Killed by a super mutant suici—oh wait, he didn’t die, even a nuke can’t kill him at this point, this is thrilling to watch.
We’re at $17 and on the last hour of the stream, so I assume a whale has promised $33 since Phil isn’t begging.
Phil got stuck behind a tree and had to fast travel to free himself.
“What just happened? I didn’t pick anything up but I’m over-encumbered, suddenly? When did I pick a Night-Vision .309 [sic] Combat Sniper Rifle? I didn’t. I don’t remember ever picking that up. Weird.”
You just picked it up 1 second ago, it was literally the thing you picked up that encumbered you.
“Oh, we’re there. I didn’t realize we were at our objective.”
“I don’t know if I got the Luck bobblehead, actually, maybe I didn’t find it, I dunno.”
I know, and you didn’t.
Oh look, two tips came in with 30 minutes left on the stream totaling $33, I should play the lottery I'm so psychic.
Phil is not pleased with Nick Valentine’s perk.
Someone suggests Phil change companions, Phil says Nick is a big part of the main story, which Phil says he’s not doing yet, so he’s not going to change companions(?).
Another someone says he should change because he used Nick the first time he did the DLC and Phil shits on the idea because he doesn’t remember it. Again, Phil’s stream is about what Phil wants and entertaining Phil, who cares what his audience wants.
“Time flies when you’re having fun.”
Is that why watching this feels like time has reversed and my brain is un-developing?
“Every time I’ve played Fallout, I found myself so immersed in the game, I don’t realize what time it is.”
That Phil finds 3 hours of 2-shotting every enemy and being all but unkillable “immersive” tells you everything you need to know about him as a gaymer.
He’s pigsplaining drive-in movie theaters now. And goddamn, has Phil ever done anything without his parents? People have asked him like 3 separate times some variation of “Phil, have you ever done X?” and he’s answered yes he did X with his parents. Like, if you asked me if I’ve ever played pool, I’d just say, “Yeah, in high school and college I played pretty regularly”, like, my parents wouldn’t even enter into it? Maybe I’m off here but I just find it bizarre that Phil has gone bowling [with his parents] and has been to a drive-in [with his parents] and has visited Boston [with his parents].
“If you like this stream, you’re gonna be happy this week. Friday, Sunday and Monday, 3 Fallout 4 streams coming.”
This is the way my world ends, not with a bang but with endless boring Fallout streams.
Phil only got 4 tips (not counting the troll tip, which Phil didn’t either), all anonymous except the last one, enough to hit exactly $50, totally organic support.
“What just happened? I didn’t pick anything up but I’m over-encumbered, suddenly? When did I pick a Night-Vision .309 [sic] Combat Sniper Rifle? I didn’t. I don’t remember ever picking that up. Weird.”
This is one of my favorite Phil-isms on display. He genuinely can't admit he accidentally did something, he has to insist that the game has a very specific bug where, at a random point of time, it will create an item and spawn it into his inventory, just so he's out of the blue encumbered. Because that is more logical than thinking "I must have accidentally looted this when I was spam looting stuff."
This is one of the most baffling things Phil's said because like half of your summaries are some variation of Phil being the opposite of immersed. He's one of the least immersed gamers I can think of, complaining about XYZ if it doesn't specifically have not only a quest tied to it, but a quest that personally benefits him. He actively avoids the lore and main story, he tries to run away from the gameplay whenever possible and complains if exploration doesn't result in something that personally rewards him. Gun to his head, I think 3/4's of the time he couldn't even tell you what just happened 2 minutes ago in the game.
I'm not even saying that's necessarily a bad thing. Some games I'm all about the lore and story and can really sink my teeth into. Other games I'll put a lot of time into, but not really care about the story stuff because it's more about the gameplay loop. But as previously mentioned, Phil runs away from gameplay, exploration and story so...what exactly does he think he's immersed in?
This isn't Phil specific but I never understand how there are so many retards playing these games, especially open world Bethesda games who are struggling for money. I've seen posts on the Skyrim subreddit whining about costs for homes and shit. Pretty much every time I play a Bethesda game I have more money than I need by the time I am level 15.
What the fuck goes on in these people's heads that they aren't reaching the 'more money than I can spend' stage in games at any point in-game?
They can't all be borderline retarded like DSP and have no sense of inventory management or concept of selling loot, can they?
They're, probably, buying stuff from vendors instead of using looted gear. Only thing worthy of buying is junk for crafting in fallout 4 and ingots in Skyrim. Beyond that, it's a waste of money.
I don't get why was he dropped blood packs? They are components for stims. I would asked if he's stupid, but looking at his build, I don't need to
I think it comes down to Phil getting to do what Phil wants to do without having to wait very long or having any inconvenience. For instance, he seems to genuinely enjoy one-shotting 10 enemies in a row with the knife, acking and whooping it up and going "Ohhhhhhh, RIGHT IN THE FACE" or, because it's Phil, "RIGHT IN THE BAWLSACK, ACK ACK ACK". But then he'll run past enemies whenever he can, often leaving his companion behind to die (and then moments later going, "Where's Hancock/Nick/Danse, they disappeared, they're gone tuhuhu"), even ignoring enemies actually shooting him. Why not just STAB EM RIGHT IN THE FACE, Phil, isn't that something you enjoy? Well see, Phil likes to easily murder enemies who can't really hurt him, but he doesn't want to do that right now. Right now, he wants to walk somewhere, so the enemies are inconveniencing him by making it ever so slightly harder to do the thing he wants to do.
I feel like with Phil you have to translate out of his pigspeech into normal human speech. When Phil says a game is bugged, that means something unexpected happened and he doesn't understand it. When Phil says he's immersed in a game, that means the game is letting him do what he wants and he isn't too bored or struggling or taking a long time to do it and is "progressing" in the game. "Progressing" is, of course, ticking a series of boxes so that Phil feels like he accomplished something and avoided the dreaded Complete Waste of His Time, the cardinal sin of any game.
Phil doesn't see the crafting menu, like literally doesn't see it. He only sees the things he has the components to make because the game highlights those. The things that aren't highlighted, he doesn't see at all. And since he has never, once, picked up antiseptic (in fact early on he mocked there being toothpaste in the game), Stimpak has never been highlighted, so he's never seen it and doesn't know what its ingredients are. He may not even know he can craft Stimpaks. He's never looked at an item's ingredients in order to go out and obtain those ingredients. If he didn't just happen to pick up the components for it and his chat didn't tell him to craft it, it doesn't exist.
“I thought that I had become IMMYOOOON…to radiation, but I’m still getting radiation, right? Like I swear I’m like supposed to be the most resistant to radiation. And. I got all the perks for it. But I still get radioactive. Weird.”
“‘Radiation Resistance perks are bugged.’ Izzat true, do they not work?”
no
“I think I might put this on, I like the idea of the radiation resistance, cuz I don’t have any right now.[!] Radiation is one of my biggest prahblems right now, I keep getting rads and rad poisoning.”
“It’s a fuckin chainsaw. Is it a considered a melee weapon? Is it? I don’t even know. Is it? Is this a melee weapon? Is it a gun? Do they consider it a melee weapon?”
It’s a chainsaw?
“Why is the spring radioactive?”
I’m guessing it had something to do with the nuclear war that started the game.
Phil was so thankful for a totally unexpected and not at all from a whale $50 tip that he forgot to shout it out multiple times for like 15 minutes.
“Remember I played these [Fallout] games a ton.”
I have said this before, but nobody would know that watching this, you play like someone who’s never touched a Fallout game before.
“All the water on Earth is radioactive.”
Who said anything about Earth? The Fallout games all take place in US, and even there not all the water is irradiated, like what the fuck are you talking about?
“[Some moron] says, ‘I remember the end of Fallout 3, the plot was that you were making a machine that would begin the process of re-purifying the water.’ Correct.”
That is not correct, the machine purified the water pretty much immediately, it didn’t merely begin the process.
“‘But they never followed that up or acknowledged that.’ That’s true.”
no it isn’t
“At the end of Fallout 3? Project Purity? But then, in future games it’s not really referenced. But I guess…Did it work? I dunno, tuhuhhuh.”
Yes it is, and yes it did. The canonical ending is the Lone Wanderer purified all the water in the Capital Wasteland (aka the good ending), which we know because MacCready says you can drink the water there. I didn’t even have to look that up.
I couldn’t help myself, I had to be sure, so I did look it up and I was wrong, it was Deacon not MacCready.
“Well this is silly, but this is a new questline.”
Phil has completely forgotten the Brotherhood of Steel DLC for Fallout 3, just doesn’t remember it exists.
“Why do they think radioactivity is like…ghostly activity? It’s naht.”
??
Phil hit level 50, still hasn’t even encountered the Institute.
“I also was working on Refractor, energy resistance, which is really good.”
no
“I’m not doin weapon and armor mods this run, nope.”
Almost every time he’s leveled, including the last time, he's said something like “Hmm I could get Blacksmith”, aka melee weapon mods, but now we’re not doing that, just categorically not doing it.
Phil sings his molerat mother song every time he sees the word “mother” and I hate it.
“Robes of Atom’s Devoted, 25 radiation resistance—excuse me, 25 ENERGY resistance.”
No Phil, the little radiation symbol next to it means it’s radiation resistance, 47 hours into the game he still doesn’t understand how to read armor stats.
A Child of Atom explains to Phil that most Children of Atom are immune to “the Glow” (i.e., radiation) and that those who aren’t have to “scour”, which means to remove radiation with RadAway. Why am I telling you this? Just keep it in mind, oh my brothers and only friends, all will be revealed.
“Look at the stats, they’re incredibly good. Why does it cost twenty. Seven. THALSAND caps? Twenty-seven thalsand caps for the one good thing she has in her inventory. Who priced the items in this game? This is so dumb. Like I want that. Do I want to spend all the caps I’ve accumulated in the entire game for this? Like what the fuck. This sucks.”
“Okay so my right arm…‘increasing the size of the sweet-spot while picking locks.’ Not amazing or anything. It’s okay.”
Worst armor ability in the game.
“It’ll cost me ten thalsand caps, that’s not that bad, right? That’s not that bad, ten thalsand.”
Actually 15,000, but who’s counting?
“I finally spent some money.”
After like 35 hours, Phil has purchased an item.
“I’m OP without that? Yeah but I wanna be even moar OP, come on.”
“How does she ALIVE? Like how do they survive? Like I understand I’m alive because I’m the protagonist who’s popping chems and shit. How the fuck are they surviving all this radiation, the Children of Atom? How are they not dead fast cuz of the radiation, or like, hideously mutated? That’s never really explained. Kinda weird. You’d think these people would just be dead.”
If only a member of the Children of Atom had told you why….
“What did she say? Like they don’t have the password, they need the password for the sub and they can’t find it? Is that what she said? Guess I should’ve been paying more attention.”
“I’m lost, this place is a maze.”
“I’m ‘unna end up using all my RadAway stuff for this mission.”
“These FUCKING rads, so many rads. It’s annoying, it’s booshe. Wasting all my RadAways doing this.”
“I don’t remember any of these Children of Atom quests.”
Now we’re just sitting in silence while an NPC talks, riveting gameplay.
“Shit, Imma have to heal, hah? Fuck, Imma have to heal. It sucks, but I have to do it. I have to use a healing item. I hate using healing items.”
“I don’t even know what we’re doing. I have no idea what we’re doing or where we’re going here. Huh? I don’t get it. I’m so confused.”
“Damn, I’m not getting the critical hits like I expected. I only got 1 bonus one so far. I wanna get like nonstop crits.”
“God these fuckin rads, like I said, Imma end up using all my RadAway these missions. Fuckin rads are annoying. I have the maximum Rad Resistance perks and I’m still getting the rads anyway. I wonder if they don’t work.”
“The game’s already way easy, let’s be ahnest.”
Phil is told he’s making another choice that’s the same as when he played the first time, but fuck you he’s doing it anyway.
Phil’s not going to save scum.
“No way to do it because I’m too stupid.”
“Where…where am I going?”
Killed by a Legendary Albino Angler, death 35.
“He still killed me. Wauw, I had a Med-X, I had Psychobuff, and I had full health and that fuckin guy still killed me.”
Phil used 10 “healing items” so he was healing but he wasn’t quite a full health, more like about half.
“I can’t see. I don’t know what’s going on. I CAN’T SEE. I DON’T KNOW WHAT’S GOING ON. I’m not even—dude, I can’t do anything, the game’s fucked up. Dude I can’t do anything. Dude wha happa, my arms didn’t exist. Dude I can’t attack the thing, it’s glitched. I can’t use—it’s fucked up.”
You were swimming.
“I don’t have any prahblem with gambling as long as you do it responsibly. There’s too many people who go in dere ‘I’ll just keep playin I’ll keep playin I’ll keep playin.’ Next thing you know, you spent all your money, you maxed all your credit, you’re like ‘oh mai gawd, what did I do?’ Right? That is naht good.”
“Now waituhminut, what was the mission I was doing? Oh, collect 3 mirelurk carapaces? I din eem know that’s what I was doing.”
“Uhhhh their bodies disappeared.”
They're underwater, Phil.
“We’re knockin all these [missions] out, boom boom boom.”
“So I built them but they have no power so they don’t work. That was a complete waste of my fuckin time.”
Yeah, that’s why the tooltip for the traps said “requires 1 power”.
“They didn’t give me any time to do anything. How the fuck was I supposed to-to build in that amount of time? What the fuck are you talkin about?”
Ken said the enemies would be here soon, move your ass fat boy.
Aaaaand Phil is still running up to enemies and mashing V.A.T.S. with no AP, we’re 49 hours in.
“I built all that shit and I couldn’t use any of it to help.”
The machinegun turrets you built helped, they don’t require power. How did you not see and hear them shooting, they’re fucking machineguns, like you were standing between them while they were firing, what the fuck.
Phil blew TWENTY-SEVEN THALSAND caps on that Recon right arm. Recon armor is the best armor in the game apart from power armor, and this arm’s boost increases movement speed, which is one of the 2 boosts Phil has actively sought. He has worn it for about an hour. And now he is replacing it with an item that adds 2 Luck because it’s “better for my build”. I’m not even shitting you. He is going googoo because he now has 15 Luck and I’m ready to eat a Glock watching this.
“What’s the level—is there a level cap anymore in Fallout 4? I thought it was 50 at one point but they prahabably increased that with the DLCs.”
Fallout 4 never had a level cap, it was one of the things Bethesda touted about it because it was open ended and so you could just play for ever if you wanted. This was your Game of the Year in 2015 and you don't remember one of its central selling points.
“Whenever I play Fallout I usually have my first playthrough be high Charisma.”
@JimiHendrix not that I doubted you, but here’s Dave himself confirming you were right.
“Level cap is 65? Oh yeah?”
no
“Now I’m over-encumbered. What a fuckin surprise.”
“Dude can you believe. I bought. That insane. This? I bought it for twenny thalsand, and now I’m not even gonna use it.”
“Forget that Old Longfellow asshole.”
“We literally completed the mission by naht doing it. Wha da hell? Okay. Yes please, give me bonus experience for absolutely nothing, I appreciate that. Sounds good to me.”
The mission was to lead you to a place, you went right to the place because you’d been there before, so the mission completed, like what’s the complaint here?
We’re again sitting silently while an NPC talks, Phil is such an entertaining streamer.
He’s leaning in on people, paying no attention to the conversation.
“We know [Kasumi]’s human.”
no we don’t, literally one of the central plot themes of this entire DLC and the whole game frankly is how can you tell who's human and who isn't and does it really matter. You never get a definitive answer about whether Kasumi is human or synth because this game is good.
“Wha da fuck, NO, I’m naht a synth. Oh mai gawd, dis guise an idiot.”
And so Phil’s low intelligence and lack of appreciation for Blade Runner again cheer me up. As bad as my life can get sometimes, at least I’m not a confused and vaguely angry ape who doesn’t understand the world around him or appreciate art or experience human emotion.
“[Some idiot] said, ‘This doesn’t make any sense, your character has earlier memories in the options given, he was literally telling us about the war he was in prior to the game.’ You’re right, you’re right, tuhuh.”
No he’s not right, DiMA asked why you don’t have memories of your childhood or your first kiss, events that would happen long before you joined the fucking Army.
“[Some idiot] says, ‘There’s a lot of evidence that proves the Sole Survivor can’t be a synth: Food healing which satiates your hunger, it’s obviously a human trait. If you don’t eat or sleep in Survival mode, you die and that wouldn’t happen to a synth.’”
Generation 3 synths are largely biological so they have to eat and sleep because if they didn’t they wouldn’t pass for human. I’m slightly reassured that the only people who enjoy DSP’s khantent are just as dumb as he is. One of the signs of low intelligence is being uncomfortable with ambiguity and needing to have a clear answer even if it's false, look it up if you don't believe me.
“Ack ack ack ack ack ack ack ack ack. Why does the camera allow you to do that? That’s so stoopit.”
You can move the camera as you like because the game is good? Like, what even is the complaint here?
“That’s my weakness right now, is radiation.”
Phil received $81 in tips during the gameplay, $73 from one person, organic support. He's playing this again tomorrow because I pissed off some demon in a past life and now I'm paying the price.
no we don’t, literally one of the central plot themes of this entire DLC and the whole game frankly is how can you tell who's human and who isn't and does it really matter. You never get a definitive answer about whether Kasumi is human or synth because this game is good.
As much as it pains me to say this, everybody in Arcadia has a Synth component except for one person, and that person is Kasumi. While I understand what DiMA was trying to do and say, there's better evidence leaning against both the SS and Kasumi being Synths then leaning towards them actually being Synths. I'll also point out a really interesting/lesser known piece of trivia in that one of the updates for FO4 removed a terminal from the Institute lab that described V.A.T.S as being a Synth thing making it the only cut content from the game that got cut after the game went live.
no we don’t, literally one of the central plot themes of this entire DLC and the whole game frankly is how can you tell who's human and who isn't and does it really matter. You never get a definitive answer about whether Kasumi is human or synth because this game is good.
it has been near a decade since I've played fallout 4, but I am fairly certain if you're the leader of the Institute you can straight up ask if Kasumi is a synth or not, they say she's not.
As much as it pains me to say this, everybody in Arcadia has a Synth component except for one person, and that person is Kasumi. While I understand what DiMA was trying to do and say, there's better evidence leaning against both the SS and Kasumi being Synths then leaning towards them actually being Synths.
The game isn't consistent enough with synth components to state definitively Kasumi isn't a synth because she doesn't have one, though it would be pretty definitive if she did. For the record, I lean toward human for Kasumi, and the Sole Survivor I'm certain of. I don't really think there's good reason to doubt the Sole Survivor is human. What I was getting at was that Phil's fan said there was so much evidence and then put forward only one thing and it wasn't even evidence.
it has been near a decade since I've played fallout 4, but I am fairly certain if you're the leader of the Institute you can straight up ask if Kasumi is a synth or not, they say she's not.
If that's true, I think that's a mistake in storytelling, as I mentioned. I only played Far Harbor once and it wasn' t the time I allied with the Institute. It makes sense, though, that the Institute would know who's a synth and who isn't, I can't deny that.
it has been near a decade since I've played fallout 4, but I am fairly certain if you're the leader of the Institute you can straight up ask if Kasumi is a synth or not, they say she's not.
If that's true, I think that's a mistake in storytelling, as I mentioned. I only played Far Harbor once and it wasn' t the time I allied with the Institute. It makes sense, though, that the Institute would know who's a synth and who isn't, I can't deny that.
One of the higher ups at the SRB (Synth Retention Bureau) says straight up she's not a Synth, and if she is, she isn't one of theirs. They have no records of any Synth with her identity but does say it's possible somebody somehow messed with the records.
EDIT: I believe somebody at the RR also says they have never heard of her either and if Kasumi did get help with anybody outside the Institute with Synth matters, it would have been them.
Phil is running with no mods except the bug-fixing one…oh and the one that lets him skip the puzzles in this DLC. So now we know what it takes to get Phil to install a mod.
We started out by walking around talking to everyone in Acadia, sitting in silence with the occasional goat laugh, this must be the khantent that keeps the whales coming back.
Somehow Phil hasn’t recognized DiMA is voiced by the same guy who does Nick, I knew it after the guy’s first like 3 lines. Phil even has Nick with him and still doesn’t notice.
Phil has found a vendor with the Recon chest armor, the Legendary version of the best armor in the game and he’s not happy.
“It’s FORTY. THALSAND. CAPS. Forty thalsand caps. Last stream I spent 25 THALSAND on a piece of armor that became immediately outdated.”
No, you replaced it with a far weaker piece because you’re convinced that slight increases to Luck are better than any other aspect of armor, including how much it…armors…you.
“What in the holy hell were they thinking with this game and its pricing? I don’t think they had a clue what they were doing. That is just—it’s atrociously bad. What are you, crazy? You really think I should have, oh, yah know, forty thalsand caps lying around?”
You’re level 52, so like...yeah?
“It’s because my charisma is nonexistent? But the point is, those prices shouldn’t be that high to begin with. Like I understand what you’re saying, ‘Oh, well your charisma would improve that.’ Okay, I geh dah. But don’t you think that at least the base prices should be reasonable so that you don’t have to purposefully have a build with charisma to buy anything in the gaaaaame?”
Bro it’s a Bethesda game, how are you so poor?
A fan tells Phil he can find all the Recon armor in the DLC, it’s not necessary to buy it. That’s not quite true since what you find isn’t Recon (Legendary quality) but Marine (the base armor type), but it's still miles above Phil's metal armor and still makes Phil’s whining from earlier even more pathetic.
“So why can’t they prove if she’s a synth or not?”
“[Some goober] says, ‘She could literally poke herself with a needle to find out if she’s a robot or not.’ Yeah, I mean, how are you not figuring this out?”
She literally couldn’t, the game establishes in Diamond City that you can only tell if someone’s a Gen 3 synth or not after they’re dead. There’s even a joke about it in the town of Covenant, which has a test to detect synths that doesn’t work at all. Is that a bit artificial? Maybe, but it works dramatically for the game’s themes. (There’s also recall codes, but only the Institute knows them, and you’d have to know which one goes with which synth, they’re not generic.) Phil truly attracts like minds.
“I can’t hack the terminal. We definitely can’t hack the terminal. That’s not gonna happen.”
Negro, Nick Valentine is standing right next to you saying he can hack terminals, what the fuck.
“Oh, he’s a companion?”
Phil wouldn’t talk to Longfellow so Longfellow found him, Phil rejects him. Yeah just don’t use the DLC companion at all, great streamer.
I can’t stress enough how little Phil adds to his own stream. If you’re experiencing déjà vu because I’ve already written this exact thing on an earlier stream, good, now you have some idea of what it’s like to watch a DSP stream.
Killed by a Legendary Assaultron Dominator, death 36.
50 hours in, Phil doesn’t understand how Assaultrons work. She hits him with her death-murder cannon, he brings up his Pip Boy and does his faggy “use every drug and ‘healing item’ I have” thing, drops the Pip Boy, and immediately dies like a bitch.
“I died anyway. What could I do there? I gotta do the whole thing over now. Yeah, I gotta do the whole fucking thing over. FUCK THIS BULLSHIT.”
Guy died once in the last like 5 hours and he's whining, like goddamn.
“YO, it’s GLITCHED, I can’t fuckin do anything. The game’s all fucked up and frozen.”
Negro, you’re trying to type while a machinegun is shooting you.
“I say rahg like I say frahg?”
Phil went to the Vim! Factory, the mission updates to the area inside he’s supposed to go to, Phil thinks he’s done and leaves.
Phil’s so blind he walked right past a super mutant and didn’t see it, he was looking for the super mutants and just walked past one. It wasn't dead center but it was definitely on the screen, I mean I saw it, Phil was shocked when it sledged him from behind.
“He thought that she was a friend, and she ended up torturing and killing him for the code.”
Pretty sure he thought she was a lot more than a friend, Phil. I don’t have a “usual” hotel suite to meet my, ah, friends.
Phil got a child killed. Let me explain, because I remember this but I’m sure nobody reading this does. Phil certainly didn’t.
Remember like 20 hours ago when Phil first started doing Far Harbor but then decided he didn’t want to do it and went off to do other things? He started it because of a Brotherhood radiant quest to take a kid around—a “squire”—and kill stuff at a place. Well, Phil’s like 3rd squire mission was in Far Harbor, so Phil followed the map and the quest marker until he figured that out and then decided he didn’t want to do go to Far Harbor yet and left. So basically the kid’s been standing at that location for the last I don’t know 25 hours and got blown up by super mutants that Phil was fighting just now.
“What just happened, why did I just fail a Brotherhood mission? An escort mission expiiiiiiired? Oh, okay.”
Okay yeah, that’s what really happened, since the squire can’t actually die. But since the fail notification popped up at the same moment the explosion happened, my headcanon is Phil’s idiocy got the little tyke exploded. Oh give me a break, I’m trying to find some kind of entertainment value in this Bataan Bore March.
“I’m using a lot of my medications, right? My drugs. For this DLC.”
Phil is mad that a location he just explored doesn’t have sufficient loot.
Somebody reminded Phil that he didn’t do the mission to get the Marine armor, the non-legendary versions of the armor he bitched endlessly about being too expensive for him to get, so he’s doing it now.
“It’s naht good. It’s seriously naht even good. What a waste of time that was. Drahp it. That’s not good at all.”
Literally the best armor in the game apart from power armor, but okay.
Phil has discovered he needs to go back to the Vim! Factory.
“Gotta do this again, guise, sorry.”
A woman finds out she’s not a human but a synth programmed to believe she’s human, an existing human, in fact, a real person who was murdered so she could replace her. Phil’s response? “tuhuhuh”
Man who gets angry over not having enough money to buy things drops items worth hundreds of caps rather than take them to the vendor.
Phil wants to return to the vendor he bought the Recon piece from because she has the 20,000ish caps he spent, but he can’t remember who she is, despite telling himself at the time not to forget for this very reason.
He’s wandering around Far Harbor looking for that vendor.
Someone in his chat finally told him it’s the Children of Atom vendor, Phil goes to the Children of Atom camp and immediately forgets why he’s there, just goes off to do a mission and we will leave the DLC having never found the vendor with Phil's 20k caps
Phil’s just standing in an irradiated room listening to holotapes and taking RadAway. Negro, take the tapes and walk outside to listen to them, what the fuck.
Phil says he weighs 203 lbs. and that he could get down to 190 if he worked out more regularly, but he lives a “seh DEN tree” lifestyle.
More regularly? Negro you ain’t worked out in 20 years if you ever did, what is this "regular" bullshit.
“Tell DiMA the fix is in.”
Leave it to Phil to murder a priest and immediately make a gambling reference.
30 minutes left on the stream and we’re at $20 in tips, so we get a little beg.
Phil is so proud of himself for getting a peaceful ending for the DLC, nobody tell him that you have to actively decide to do a genocide , or just not do most of the missions, in order to not get a peaceful ending.
“What answers did she find? What is she talking about?”
Phil, you got your peaceful ending by lying and hiding the truth. You hid DiMA’s murder and infiltration of one community, you murdered the high priest of the Children and hid his body so that DiMA could infiltrate another community. That’s what she fucking learned, she’s going back to her family pretending to be human even though (she thinks) she’s a synth, she learned to keep secrets and hide among humans because that’s what you taught her.
Phil thinks Kasumi is dumb because she has no evidence she’s a synth but still believes it. You haven’t presented her with any evidence that she’s human, either, Phil, you've just said "nuh uh" whenever she says she's a synth. And she did present some evidence, it was pretty weak but she did have it.
Again, I think Kasumi is human just based on what we see in the DLC, but it’s not nearly definitive so I still don’t get why Phil is so sure other than the too-dumb-to-tolerate-ambiguity thing I mentioned last time. People have mentioned other indicators that are more definitive but Phil hasn’t encountered those yet. In fact Phil hasn't offered any reason why Kasumi is human, he just scoffs and mocks the idea that she's a synth(?).
“And now I’m over-encumbered, you fucking fuck face.”
“Keep in mind I’m like so OH PEE, in my build.”
“That’s right, I didn’t even use Longfellow as a companion cause WHO CARES ABOUT HIM?”
“Oh look, she’s there.”
Yeah Phil, Kasumi said she was going home…so she’s home, like why wouldn't she be there.
I was a little surprised that we ended the stream--a day stream--at $20 in tips. This was a short one because half the stream was Phil sitting silently while NPCs talked. I’m so glad this game is getting demoted after today, watching this should be banned by the Geneva Convention and I need a break and probably so do the like 3 of you who read these.
