DSP "real criticism" thread

  • 🐕 I am attempting to get the site runnning as fast as possible. If you are experiencing slow page load times, please report it.
My advice: It's too late DSP. You should have saved your money when you were rolling in it. That you still live a pampered life style even as your views, fans, and contributions dry up shows that you'll never get it. Your only hope is retiring from Twitch and getting a real job, really think you could do well as a minimum wage sleazy salesmen, just don't steal from the place like you did Circuit City.
 
He probably already knows that. He just has to shift the blame to others so he comes out as 100% innocent. If he's innocent then people will give him more money. The solution to solve the reduced income: Begging to the max.

His problem is lazyness. And because he's an entitled egomaniac he believes his lazyness is valid. Get this: Still to this day he sees no wrongdoing in his racism and other verbal attacks, people these days are just sissies, Papa Twitch slapped his wrists, now he can't do it anymore, but if he could he would still be the amazing asshole he used to be. He showed that more than twice.
As long as he isn't forced to change his lifestyle when a higher power or extreme circumstance forces him to (and raise his lazy ass from the comfy couch), he will keep on going.

No. He won't create a change alone, he lacks any survival instinct. And if anybody thinks Khet could make him, no, she's an incompetent fool. You have to force him through the true love of his life which always grands him joy and a snuggly feeling of "everything is fine and just half bad":
Money.

He has to literally feel the danger of his lifestyle to create any change. Then he will still blame and beg for weeks and months and when he realizes he smashes against a wall, when nobody listens, then MAYBE he will do something because he's forced to in an extreme situation. But this won't happen because gullible wheelchair symbols fall for his narrative.

So if anybody wants to help Phil:
Stop helping him. You can't cure a drug addict with more drugs.
I think he might realize that he isn’t owed anything in the abstract, but he needs to internalize it quick if he wants any hope of pulling out of his death spiral. Your drug addict analogy is perfect since every drug addict knows drugs aren’t good, they just don’t have the willpower to actually change anything.

The hardest yet most fascinating thing about watching Phil is that he has so many opportunities to improve or simply stabilize his life and he turns them down every time due to his laziness and/or narcissism. It’s the world’s slowest train wreck and yet you know it’s completely unavoidable.
 
It’s the world’s slowest train wreck and yet you know it’s completely unavoidable
Worse: It's entirely and easily avoidable.
But it's Phil. And the nature of Phil makes it unavoidable. As you phrased it for his kind: They just don’t have the willpower to actually change anything.
 
DSP, "darksydephil," is the worst thing that happened to Phil Burnell.

Phil is your very, very average American. Comes from a Catholic lower-middle class/ middle class family; went to private schools up until college; half-assed his college experience; got into a strings of average 9-5PM jobs until the 2008 recession hit, and he inevitably got swept up into the mass layoffs that were happening in every industry at that time.

His foray into YT, his "content creation" was the worst thing that could've happened to him. Because he had 2-3 years of success and he got a taste of a life he never was supposed to have. The NYTimes had a great exposé a few years ago where they statistically demonstrated that 94% of people end up dying into the same social class that they are born into. Of those who ascend social classes, 34% end up dropping a social class, and 14% even ended up dropping two social classes below where they started.

Phil is about to become part of that 34% where he's about to drop from his upper-middle class stratum back down to the middle class where he was always supposed to reside in. People with low-skills such as Phil are not supposed to be making the income that he is. The system isn't designed for it. His YT career was an anomaly and it has ended. He just refuses to accept it.

See, "darksydephil" is an extremely average individual who came up at the right time and the right place. Once YT exploded and a sea of other content creators started doing the same thing DSP was doing, slowly but surely he was eclipsed at the craft he claims he helped pioneer. Once the facade was lifted, everyone could see DSP for who he truly was: a below-average gamer with crass, over-the-top "humor" who provided nothing of value to the games he played through. He never attempted to build a sustainable business model around his content creation and instead insulated himself within his own little shitty castle, and has now become the court jester of YT (sustainable being the key word here; if Phil only attempted to diversify or chase YT trends, he could have expanded his network and possibly obtained new opportunities).

There is no upward trajectory for Phil. He's been on a publicized downward slope for years and any chances he could've had to change that trajectory has slipped through his fingers. And that's entirely his fucking fault. Corporations want nothing to do with this guy because, aside from being a toxic asshole, he's simply not good at promoting products nor is his following big enough to warrant sizeable partnerships and sponsorships. And other content creators want even less to do with him because being associated with DSP unleashes the cesspool of the internet on you (look at Kekon, superblindman, and other paypigs; their internet lives are tainted forever). Basically, he's not marketable within a corporate context and because of his behavior/ attitude, he has fucked himself from the financial opportunities that would enable him to re-attain his lifestyle (i.e. Machinima being the one and only corporation that worked with Phil where they changed his contract upwards to 4 times and ultimately fired him; sums up the relationship Phil would have with any other MCMs or corporations).

So what can Phil do? Honestly, he should follow the lead of his ex-girlfriend and get off the fucking internet to re-enter the workforce like any other 37 year old individual would.

Phil (this one is for you): you are not good at what you do. Actually, you're terrible at it. You're awful at video-games; your commentary isn't commentary, it's reactions to the events you observe on screen (the lowest common denominator of content creation); you don't edit your content and have the laziest repository of YT videos on the internet; your legacy is complete trash and nothing to be proud of (using the mass upload YT functionality was made for non-technical people like you, it's not hard); last but not least, you're surviving on infamy and notoriety. You lost. Like every other up-and-coming YT creators that had their 1-2 years of glory, you made it big, fucked up your finances, and fell flat on your face. The longer you wait to re-build your life outside of the confines of the microcosm that it YT/ Twitch, the longer it'll take you to re-build yourself a normal life... Don't be selfish, you also brought in a woman with you to share your struggles, happiness, failures, and joy. Good luck to you because the journey ahead of you will be extremely difficult.
 
I think his life would improve a bit if he learned to do things on his own, or be alone for a bit. He's surrounded himself with yes men and false positive reinforcement to the point he's down to the shaft of sucking his own dick. He had Rambo&Company in CT and I felt that was for the better. As soon as he got Leanna it went downhill.

Typical dude who gets his first relationship who thinks he's on top of the world and looks down on others. His first girlfriend experience which he still has not grown out of. He has the mindset of a highschooler. Would even say a middleschooler considering his taste in humor.

What does he do soon after Leanna jumps ship? Already has another one lined up. He really dreads being alone and that's really a good part of his issues; His codependency.

If not a side piece, he still has the internet which he loves to dump all his thoughts into because he has no one else. Get rid of that and he would have to start internalizing his thoughts and maybe lead to some self-reflection and improvement. Right now, with his symbiotic relationship with his yesman cult he has established, blocking any other disdaining criticism or other lines of thought, he has just made a bubble that made him complacent.

As much as I get frustrated watching him, I know it's time to take a break when I'm shitposting on the internet all day and my ass cheeks start flaring up. Would do him wonders if he took the time to go outside more. Maybe go for a nature walk or ride a bike.

Not only would this improve his health, get him some sun, and build up a bit of muscle, it would really clear his mind up. I really don't think he gets that about exercise. It's not just all physical.
 
I think his life would improve a bit if he learned to do things on his own, or be alone for a bit. He's surrounded himself with yes men and false positive reinforcement to the point he's down to the shaft of sucking his own dick. He had Rambo&Company in CT and I felt that was for the better. As soon as he got Leanna it went downhill.

Typical dude who gets his first relationship who thinks he's on top of the world and looks down on others. His first girlfriend experience which he still has not grown out of. He has the mindset of a highschooler. Would even say a middleschooler considering his taste in humor.

What does he do soon after Leanna jumps ship? Already has another one lined up. He really dreads being alone and that's really a good part of his issues; His codependency.

If not a side piece, he still has the internet which he loves to dump all his thoughts into because he has no one else. Get rid of that and he would have to start internalizing his thoughts and maybe lead to some self-reflection and improvement. Right now, with his symbiotic relationship with his yesman cult he has established, blocking any other disdaining criticism or other lines of thought, he has just made a bubble that made him complacent.

As much as I get frustrated watching him, I know it's time to take a break when I'm shitposting on the internet all day and my ass cheeks start flaring up. Would do him wonders if he took the time to go outside more. Maybe go for a nature walk or ride a bike.

Not only would this improve his health, get him some sun, and build up a bit of muscle, it would really clear his mind up. I really don't think he gets that about exercise. It's not just all physical.
As a parallel, look at what happens when he plays a game like CTR that he can't just Google a guide or have chat tell him what to do. He was legitimately having a meltdown. People always recommend a "no backseat gaming" stream but I honestly think he can't do it anymore.
 
As a parallel, look at what happens when he plays a game like CTR that he can't just Google a guide or have chat tell him what to do. He was legitimately having a meltdown. People always recommend a "no backseat gaming" stream but I honestly think he can't do it anymore.
The dude honestly doesn't seem competent at all. He relies on others way too much. A very stunted adult who was probably dropped on his head as a kid.

He doesn't know or has learned how to swim. Never learned how to ride a bike. Cannot install blinds on a window and has had his dad do a ton of things for him on his "house". Doesn't know when to change the oil of his car. Can't cook for shit. Is hugely ignorant on how Law and business works despite taking a college course for the latter.

He relies on being paid by others be it Youtube, or Twitch payments and crowdfunding. Refuses to do any lick of research on the best version of Mario 64 to stream. Has his fans make him stream overlays, emotes, and some shitty fanart. Can't even figure out simple kid puzzles and constantly asks chat on what to do or looks up a guide straight up.

He is straight up a fucking leech. His "content" has ZERO quality control and the fact he takes so much pride in it is an absolute joke. Absolutely relies on game studios to release certain games and he ALWAYS tries to bank on the game release itself instead of his riveting personality.

If he was afraid of learning how to ride a bike because he lived in the "ghetto" streets of the CT, he is not exempt from being part of that crowd. He is a straight up nigga.

Like, take a step fucking back Phil. Actually, take about 10 steps back because he's so far up his own ass at this point. He really needs to start being around actual people because he talks like an alien. I really cannot see him having a normal conversation of people his age. Which is also a reason why he tries to make what he does seem more sophisticated than it already is. He's a joke.

Phil is just too far gone for any sort of changes. He is already set in his ways.
 
Last edited:
Back