DSP's Hair Mega-Hyper-Ultra Thread - Patchy goatee talk included

[Comma]

I'm starting to think Khet is cutting his hair...



And it's not because of the angle/lighting or something. When he stands up, you can see the fade is crooked as fuck:

Maybe it's because of his oddly-shaped head.

 

[UsedUp]

I like to imagine before dsp walks into the salon one of the hair dressers say let the new girl take care of him. Meanwhile she's fresh out of hair cutting college and got shit grades.

 

[Burl McMillan]

I like to imagine DSP has never learned to sit fucking still and keeps swaying like a mong while getting a haircut and eventually the hairdressers just gave up trying to correct his behavior.

 

[neger psykolog]

Phil is far from being the only middle-aged man to lose his hair. Grow some thicker skin and admit you're losing it in a few places. There's no shame.

Wow - this comment is 6 years old and a banger.

I'm gonna be a real nigger contrarian and say that I think Phil should just grow some thicker hair instead. That'd solve the problem once and for all.

 

[W@rui]

His styles are somehow just as bad, if not worse, than North Korean state sanctioned haircuts.

 

[neger psykolog]

His styles are somehow just as bad, if not worse, than North Korean state sanctioned haircuts.

View attachment 8275470

I can't tell the difference. You could put DSPs face on all of them and it'd look exactly like haircuts he has had.

Especially the one in the bottom right.

 

[Windy Moors]

You're all just jealous meanies.
Phil is looking better than ever:

Credit: @LiquidCancer

 

[Switch Mongo]

You're all just jealous meanies.
Phil is looking better than ever:
View attachment 8280336
Credit: @LiquidCancer

Phil looking like Count Ackula & With the Fatrick finger denter too this is the collab nobody knew they needed.

 

[Burl McMillan]

Only sorta related to Phil's hair but I didn't know Phil's political hero also has an oddly shaped head.

 

[A Crow Looked at Me]

DSP ass cat
Poor little guy was born with a "receding hairline" and goatee

 

[neger psykolog]

Only sorta related to Phil's hair but I didn't know Phil's political hero also has an oddly shaped head.
View attachment 8300581

I dont speak North Korean but now given the similarity between them I just imagine all of Kim jong un's speeches are just prestream cope sessions and he tells starving north Koreans that tips help the most because he gets that money right now.

 

[Fuckyoudad]

The good old days. Beardless smiles is shooped.

 

[Negative Toxic Loser]

View attachment 8354498

Jesus. Was he mid drip sip or did he spot a stationary across the way?

Wasn't this photo when he was in Philly?

 

[oopsie doodle]

I know this is a silly facial expression; let's move past that for a minute.

Compared to the pictures posted above, this is not only abominable facial hair but the worst his facial hair, in particular, has ever looked. Nothing connects, nothing (taken individually) looks like it should be there, nothing (taken together) looks like it belongs together, much less on a real human face. Assuming he has a mirror and that he looks in it, I can only imagine that the brain damage makes breathing a conscious manual effort and that the appearance of the patchwork ghoul in the mirror ceased to be a concern many years ago.

I would rather have a hitler toothbrush mustache than have this on my face. Your average hairy anus looks far better than this - healthier, more uniform. His haircut is slowly turning into a tomlinsonesque out-of-touch skull-top pubic wig as well, but at least with tomlinson the copious lard conceals the horrifying structure of the skull within.

I want to go back to having eyespots as a species and perceive only light and dark; I regret evolving eyes.

 

[Big Shot]

Are there any childhood photos of Phil with the hairdo his mother gave him?

 

[Martys_not_smarty]

Did someone clip that incredibly tone-deaf take of Piggy when called out on his shit haircut when someone said he looked like a lesbian and all he could do was "well uh yeah....cause uh ummm lesbians have haircuts that are uh ummm MASKYOULINN so uh yeah it's a MASKYOULINN haircut what's your point?"

 

[millais]

View attachment 8509023
I know this is a silly facial expression; let's move past that for a minute.

Compared to the pictures posted above, this is not only abominable facial hair but the worst his facial hair, in particular, has ever looked. Nothing connects, nothing (taken individually) looks like it should be there, nothing (taken together) looks like it belongs together, much less on a real human face. Assuming he has a mirror and that he looks in it, I can only imagine that the brain damage makes breathing a conscious manual effort and that the appearance of the patchwork ghoul in the mirror ceased to be a concern many years ago.

I would rather have a hitler toothbrush mustache than have this on my face. Your average hairy anus looks far better than this - healthier, more uniform. His haircut is slowly turning into a tomlinsonesque out-of-touch skull-top pubic wig as well, but at least with tomlinson the copious lard conceals the horrifying structure of the skull within.

I want to go back to having eyespots as a species and perceive only light and dark; I regret evolving eyes.

He's never going clean shaven, it would deal a fatal blow to his ego. He knows that the few scraps of patchy facial hair are the only thing that stands between him and the 1940s Polack untermenschen propaganda caricature phenotype.

 

[Lister The Stupid]

My personal "please let this happen because it would be so fucking funny" is Phil will do a conveniently timed late jump on the V-Tuber bandwagon if he feels his goatee is ever truly at risk.