Duolicious - 4chan's dating app.

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Sorry for the delay, I think you'll all find this story underwhelming, but here it is finally.

The date and the break up:
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Some context about me and why I used this app. Despite what some people asusmed, I'm not a femcel. I've had a couple of long term boyfriends, and I've been on a ton of dates. I've used dating apps before and didn't like them. They feel really cold and I also feel like they aren't really meant for someone like me. While I'm normal appearing and can get along with just about anyone, I feel like I'm wearing a mask a lot of the time. As I'm sure a lot of kiwis can relate, it's a tough time to be a person that has opinions that go against the mainstream media, on KF I feel like I can be my true self and say what I really feel, but offline I feel like I have to hold myself back a lot. It gets really exhausting at times.

Another issue I run into is that while I have some minor spergy interests, I'm not a complete sped about them. I like video games, for example, but I'm not a gamer. I also like manga, but I'm not a huge freak or consumer. And I do like discussing politics, but not to the extent that I work myself up into a rage or doomer about it. Finding someone like that offline has been pretty tough so far. Why is it so hard to find someone like me offline? To be blunt I actually think there are more people like me offline than I realize, but they are suffering the same problem I am: you can't openly advertise yourself since you'll be labeled a bigot or whatever. That's why I think there is potential for Duolicious or another app like it.

Now that context is out of the way, I went into this app mostly curious and not expecting much, but I did end up finding several men that were seemingly what I was looking for, and I actually met up and went on a date with one! For ease of this story I'm going to call this man "Jacob". I have no idea if this man was a farmer or not. He claims he lurked KF sometimes but I do think he was probably an active user, he spoke like someone that was an active user and knew way too much KF meta lore for just a casual lurker. Just in case he is a farmer, I'm not going to give a whole lot of identifying information about him because I don't want to be a jerk and accidentally dox him.

Anyways, I'm too lazy to look up when we officially started talking. All you have to know is that me and Jacob hit it off right away. He was very easy to talk to and we had a lot in common with our jobs and life situation. It was so nice to talk to a potential romantic interest that was like me: normal enough to hold a job and function with other people, while also having some niche interests, a dark sense of humor, and ""controversial"" political opinions without being a complete sperg about everything.

After about a week of talking he asked to meet up and go on a date. I had already vetted the guy and felt he wasn't a serial killer, so I agreed to meet up at a halfway point. Before leaving to meet him, I told my mom what I was doing and where I was going, and I also shared my phone location with her. This isn't my first time meeting up with a stranger on the internet, I took all the safety precautions. No way in hell was I going to end up on some Beauty Guru's channel with some airhead discussing about how I went missing after meeting up with someone on a dating app and my body was never found.

On the way over to meet him, I felt very nervous. I've met up with guys before and some of the dates went bad. The men had lied about their age, lied about height or their weight or appearance, etc. I remember when I went on one date with a man who claimed he was 6 foot tall and yet in person he was only two inches taller than me. Why do some people think they can get away with this blatant lies is beyond me.

Luckily for me, Jacob was exactly who he said he was. In fact, he looked even better in person than he did in photos. When we first met, there was some clear nervousness on his part, he was a nervous wreck actually, but after about 10 minutes that faded away and we were talking like a couple of people that had known each other for years. He was even funnier in person than through text. He was very polite and had great old school manners (Honestly, most Southern guys I meet have old school manners, just saying ladies). After eating, we went to the haunted cave (if you could really call it a cave, it wasn't lol).

I had a blast. Seriously, this date was super fun and I have no complaints. It was the best first date I've ever been on. Jacob was fun, charming, and he was a true gentleman.

Now, despite what some kiwis were speculating: I did not get sick from kissing or being physical with Jacob. I'm not going to shame women that get intimate on the first date, but I'm not that kind of woman, the most I'll ever do on the first few dates is maybe give a hug. I was actually already sick before I met up with Jacob, but I didn't know the tickle in my throat I kept feeling was the beginning stages of strep throat, I thought it was just mild allergies from all the blooming plants.

The date ended early because it started to rain, and also I was starting to feel like shit due to the above mentioned strep throat. Jacob was visibly sad the date ended early, and I was too. He was very sweet and after we left, he checked in on me to make sure I made it home safely (Pro tip male kiwis, always check in and make sure your date gets home safely if you can't take her home yourself). Once I got home, I went straight to bed.

The next day, I knew I was actually really sick, but still went to work and hoped for the best. Over the course of the day not only was my throat on fire, but I started getting a massive headache behind my eyes that did not go away even with Tylenol, this I would later learn was a sinus infection on top of the strep throat. I managed to work one entire day before having to call out sick and spent the rest of the week in bed. Despite feeling like complete and total shit, things with me and Jacob were going great. He showed concern for my health and was being very sweet. He even sent me flowers (No, I didn't give him my address, you can send flowers without knowing their address) as a get well present.

So, if everything was going so damn well, why did I break up with him? Well, I kind of think this extreme sickness was meant to happen because without it, I wouldn't have learned something about Jacob that ended up being a deal breaker. Like I would have learned it eventually, but probably not until much later when it would have been harder to break up. Even though I was unable to talk to Jacob verbally, we still texted constantly whenever I wasn't passed out from various OTC medicine. And thanks to this illness, we somehow ended up talking about what a parent is supposed to do when their kid is ill. This conversation then lead to Jacob being honest about his desire to have kids: it turns out, he doesn't want kids.

Now, for those of you who haven't used the Duolicious app, it asks you if you want kids or not. My profile clearly states I do want kids, and so did Jacob's profile. I had also made it known before we even went on a date that my long term goal in life is to have at least two children. I'm not saying I want to go and get pregnant in like, the next year or two, but to be very clear I am not into casual or short term dating, I'm looking for a long term partner that shares my same goals. Again, this was something I made known to Jacob.

It was hard to hear this stuff, especially when you're sick as shit. As much as it hurt to hear, I'm not gonna waste time and keep dating someone that doesn't have the same long term goals in mind as me. What's the point? Jacob tried to backtrack and said that he likes the idea of kids but there are things he wants to do in life and he won't be ready for kids for another 8-10 years. So, basically, I guess I could stay with him and hope that MAYBE he's ready for kids in another decade? *sigh*

So that's it really. After learning that Jacob doesn't want kids, I figured there was absolutely no point in continuing to date him since that's huge deal breaker for me. I dumped Jacob and then stayed in my bed feeling sick and sad for over a week. The end.

I feel better now and I'm completely over Jacob. I admit that it sucks it didn't work out, it was nice to finally date someone where I felt like I could be myself. It's a shame our long term goals didn't mesh. Despite this, I am actually more optimistic than before about finding someone and this has encouraged me to not give up. This showed me that there are definitely guys like me out there. I'll probably use the app again, but for now I'm taking a break from dating and focusing on touching grass.
 
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sirthisisanarbys said:
@CoolFool this is very underwelming and we were so worried. you dont have sperg stories or pictures of somebody dressed like a ubersped? i got sick and he doesnt wants kids, i could read teen vogue if i wanted that kind of story
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I did talk with a very cringe confirmed kiwi but I'm afraid he'll dox me if I divulge the details lol.

Sorry fren, maybe you'll get a better story when I try the app again.
 
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CoolFool said:
No way in hell was I going to end up on some Beauty Guru's channel with some airhead discussing about how I went missing after meeting up with someone on a dating app and my body was never found.
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The nights still young!
CoolFool said:
Why do some people think they can get away with this blatant lies is beyond me.
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Some people forget their height and put whatevers about right. It's not always intentional.
CoolFool said:
Now, despite what some kiwis were speculating: I did not get sick from kissing or being physical with Jacob. I'm not going to shame women that get intimate on the first date, but I'm not that kind of woman, the most I'll ever do on the first few dates is maybe give a hug. I was actually already sick before I met up with Jacob, but I didn't know the tickle in my throat I kept feeling was the beginning stages of strep throat, I thought it was just mild allergies from all the blooming plants.
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We know you sucked his cock, you can't Fool us!
CoolFool said:
This conversation then lead to Jacob being honest about his desire to have kids: it turns out, he doesn't want kids.
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Men generally don't want kids until they really like someone and are settled into the relationship. Assuming you're in your early 20s you're both thinking how you want to spend your life and neither of you have settled into the type of situation that makes good men want kids. Men see kids as an extension of the relationship and it's something they grow into wanting as they spend more time with a woman. If you really think you two can work out send him a message and give it 6-12 months. See how the dynamic works and if kids would fit you then.

Jacob wants kids "in the future". If you create a home where the time is right "the future" isn't 10 years time. It's 2 or 3 years time. The world is getting a dark place and being able to find someone you can be yourself with is really valuable. If things get even worse in 5 years time you will regret not finding security and a companion when you had the chance.
 
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CoolFool said:
So, basically, I guess I could stay with him and hope that MAYBE he's ready for kids in another decade?
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This seems somewhat rash to me. Did he really give any detail on why he doesn't want kids? I believe something like can be changed. I feel like most people who say they don't want to have kids are usually either for petty reasons or something they didn't think much about beyond "uhh kids are gross and annoying" or "this will take up free time I don't believe i'd want to give up", especially when you're in your 20s and maybe haven't really been around kids or again, haven't given it much thought. Seems a shame to give up on a seemingly good relationship when you aren't absolutely sure he isn't willing to budge on this, I mean you can't force someone to want to have kids with you but just from what you said it seems like you didn't talk about it super deeply. I knew another friend who had a break up for similar reasons thought the roles were reversed.
 
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Shiverpeaks said:
Jacob wants kids "in the future". If you create a home where the time is right "the future" isn't 10 years time. It's 2 or 3 years time. The world is getting a dark place and being able to find someone you can be yourself with is really valuable. If things get even worse in 5 years time you will regret not finding security and a companion when you had the chance
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Yeah, no. Someone that doesn't want kids in the near future with their current/potential bf/gf isn't just waiting for the "situation to get better", the situation gettting better is a stand-in for "when I'm too old and tired to continue living like a college student", simple as that. That's why you see mothers that have their first (and only) kid when they are nearing their 40s or why around 2/3 of the old skeptosphere is childless, they just want to continue their statu quo and feel young for as long as they can, and having kids would force them to move on with their lives

Shidoen said:
Find a black woman to fill the femcel void because either way you’re going to have your hands full.
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I'm capable of tolerating overly clingy and obsessive people with daddy issues, but US black culture is something you simply can't overcome
 
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