Dynamic loudness equalizer

[Napoleon Bonerfart]

I have a hot tub and a projector on my deck so I can watch movies whilst hot tubbing. The cheap, shitty Roku stick I have plugged into the projector offers no loudness equalization, and since every goddamn fucking retard who shops at walmart wants 5.1 channel surround, I can't hear a goddamn thing anybody in movies say.

I can find software that does that for something like Windows (loudness equalization option right in sound menu) or with a Pulse Audio equalizer for Loonix.

I am looking for some physical doodad I can plug in-line with my projecter's audio out and the amplifier for my deck speakers so I can hear Kimmy Gibbler's important life lesson and not just background explosions.

 

[Pee Cola]

Sounds like you want a compressor/gate. Something like a dbx 266xl but with consumer-grade connections rather than pro audio XLR stuff, possibly dumbed down a little as well (compressor/gates can be pretty intimidating if you've never used one before). idk if such a device exists, though.

You might have settle for an EQ instead, such as the Schiit Audio Lokius.

 

[Ged!]

This is an equipment problem that's becoming increasingly common. I can't tell you how many times I've been over to someone's house and they have some tiny "soundbar" plugged into their tv and seemingly no way to control their levels. The louds are way too loud, the quiets are inaudible. It seems like the gain was cranked all the way up and then broken off.

Sense you mention using a Roku I honestly think you'd just be better off getting a cheap laptop to stream netflix or whatever with instead. That way you'll be able to control the audio just fine on the software level instead of fiddling with a ton of shitty doodads and connectors.

 

[Napoleon Bonerfart]

Sounds like you want a compressor/gate. Something like a dbx 266xl but with consumer-grade connections rather than pro audio XLR stuff, possibly dumbed down a little as well (compressor/gates can be pretty intimidating if you've never used one before). idk if such a device exists, though.

You might have settle for an EQ instead, such as the Schiit Audio Lokius.

Thanks for the recommends. Is there anything that doesn't cost more than I make after giving 20 handjobs and paying my pimp his percentage?

 

[Pee Cola]

Thanks for the recommends. Is there anything that doesn't cost more than I make after giving 20 handjobs and paying my pimp his percentage?

AFAIK there aren't any consumer grade audio compressor/gates as they're more a pro audio thing. Even the cheapest units (i.e. Behringer) will run to around 200 bones unless you can find a used/open box one.

There are some cheap EQs on Amazon. Techmoan tried one a while back, but he wasn't impressed with it.

If you're really lucky, you might be able to thrift/eBay/Craigslist a vintage '80s graphic equalizer for next to nothing. Whilst it won't get the dialog up to the same level as the music quite as effectively as a compressor, it should allow enough adjustments to make it intelligible.