E
EI 903
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I'll just go ahead and spoil Chapter 7 right now.
http://www.fredvanlente.com/downloads/WhyWeHere.pdf
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I'll just go ahead and spoil Chapter 7 right now.
http://www.fredvanlente.com/downloads/WhyWeHere.pdf
- Joined
- Feb 3, 2013
H
HG 400
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kiwifarms.net
CHAPTER 2 ; THE MEDIUM OF THE BLART
To the inexperienced blarter, the method by which you blart might seem inconsequential compared to the content of the blart itself. This is untrue. Picking the appropriate medium of blart is as important as the content of the blart itself, if not moreso.
The Hugbox
The Hugbox is by far the most comfortable place for all-purpose blarting, as the faster pace and generally temporary nature of communication leads to a more intimate and relaxed atmosphere. The tight-knit communal nature of the hugbox also discourages serious creep attempts. While novice blarters should hold back and blart cautiously, more intermediate blarters can blart in relative safety and comfort. As an added bonus, uncomfortably misfired blarts will be quickly forgotten instead of permanently archived for all to see, giving the newcomer a little more leeway when it comes to awkwardness and rookie mistakes.
Example of a Hugbox Blart
In this example, Dynastia blarts Rio with a generic blart. Rio's response indicates that blart was taken in good faith. This is blarting at it's simplest.
Forum Posts
Forum posts seem like the ideal place for blarting to the uninitiated, as their availability to public scrutiny implies that you're blarting without the intention to creep. However, the permanency and stilted, time-delayed format of the forum leads itself to awkwardness, unless you happen to be Sexual Stallone, who is legit incapable of giving an ill-recieved blart.
In general, forum blarts should be extremely context-sensitive. A tactful blarter will refrain from all forum blarting unless they are Sexual Stallone, or unless the blartee has just left an opening to blart, such as an obvious typos which lend their post unfortunately sexually-suggestive undertones. Intermediate blarters might forum-blart on other occasions, but only at their peril, (again, unless they are Sexual Stallone).
Example of a Forum Blart
In this example, Sexual Stallone blarts the Guide to Blarting. While this manner of blarting is pretty much impossible to carry off if you're not Sexual Stallone and therefore isn't much use as an example, it's just too magnificent not to include.
Profile Posts
Profile blarts are a step between forum blarts and PM blarts, and only intermediate to advanced blarters (or Sexual Stallone) should attempt them. If you do attempt a profile blart, ensure that you've already established a rapport with the blartee, unless you are Sexual Stallone (who honestly doesn't even need to be reading this guide).
Badly executed profile blarts can come across as harassing and extremely creepy, and while the blartee can immediately delete anything they find objectionable, a failed profile blart can be extremely uncomfortable for all concerned, and possibly lead to a warning or bann for the blarter.
Example of a Profile Blart
In this example, Sexual Stallone takes care to both references recent events, and make a self-depricating fedora joke to underscore the creeplessness of the blart. Dynastia's response indicates the blart was well-recieved.
Private Messages
Private Message blarts are the highest-stakes form of blarting, and will lead to bann and sanction if executed improperly. Only advanced blarters (and Sexual Stallone) should ever attempt to blart via private message, and even then they should be extremely cautious.
The risk of a PM blart being taken as genuine creep is extremely high, and all precautions should be taken to ensure that doesn't happen (even if you're Sexual Stallone). Without a great deal of personal intuition and charm, PM blarts should not even be considered, let alone attempted.
Example of a PM Blart
In this example, silvana-sama counterblarts an facetious anti-blarting pm from Dynastia. The audacity of silvana-sama's blart carries the day, but this could have just as easily backfired. This is blarting at its finest, ladies and gentlemen.
(stay tuned for Chapter 3 ; The Composition of a Blart)
To the inexperienced blarter, the method by which you blart might seem inconsequential compared to the content of the blart itself. This is untrue. Picking the appropriate medium of blart is as important as the content of the blart itself, if not moreso.
The Hugbox
The Hugbox is by far the most comfortable place for all-purpose blarting, as the faster pace and generally temporary nature of communication leads to a more intimate and relaxed atmosphere. The tight-knit communal nature of the hugbox also discourages serious creep attempts. While novice blarters should hold back and blart cautiously, more intermediate blarters can blart in relative safety and comfort. As an added bonus, uncomfortably misfired blarts will be quickly forgotten instead of permanently archived for all to see, giving the newcomer a little more leeway when it comes to awkwardness and rookie mistakes.
Example of a Hugbox Blart
In this example, Dynastia blarts Rio with a generic blart. Rio's response indicates that blart was taken in good faith. This is blarting at it's simplest.
Forum Posts
Forum posts seem like the ideal place for blarting to the uninitiated, as their availability to public scrutiny implies that you're blarting without the intention to creep. However, the permanency and stilted, time-delayed format of the forum leads itself to awkwardness, unless you happen to be Sexual Stallone, who is legit incapable of giving an ill-recieved blart.
In general, forum blarts should be extremely context-sensitive. A tactful blarter will refrain from all forum blarting unless they are Sexual Stallone, or unless the blartee has just left an opening to blart, such as an obvious typos which lend their post unfortunately sexually-suggestive undertones. Intermediate blarters might forum-blart on other occasions, but only at their peril, (again, unless they are Sexual Stallone).
Example of a Forum Blart
In this example, Sexual Stallone blarts the Guide to Blarting. While this manner of blarting is pretty much impossible to carry off if you're not Sexual Stallone and therefore isn't much use as an example, it's just too magnificent not to include.
Profile Posts
Profile blarts are a step between forum blarts and PM blarts, and only intermediate to advanced blarters (or Sexual Stallone) should attempt them. If you do attempt a profile blart, ensure that you've already established a rapport with the blartee, unless you are Sexual Stallone (who honestly doesn't even need to be reading this guide).
Badly executed profile blarts can come across as harassing and extremely creepy, and while the blartee can immediately delete anything they find objectionable, a failed profile blart can be extremely uncomfortable for all concerned, and possibly lead to a warning or bann for the blarter.
Example of a Profile Blart
In this example, Sexual Stallone takes care to both references recent events, and make a self-depricating fedora joke to underscore the creeplessness of the blart. Dynastia's response indicates the blart was well-recieved.
Private Messages
Private Message blarts are the highest-stakes form of blarting, and will lead to bann and sanction if executed improperly. Only advanced blarters (and Sexual Stallone) should ever attempt to blart via private message, and even then they should be extremely cautious.
The risk of a PM blart being taken as genuine creep is extremely high, and all precautions should be taken to ensure that doesn't happen (even if you're Sexual Stallone). Without a great deal of personal intuition and charm, PM blarts should not even be considered, let alone attempted.
Example of a PM Blart
In this example, silvana-sama counterblarts an facetious anti-blarting pm from Dynastia. The audacity of silvana-sama's blart carries the day, but this could have just as easily backfired. This is blarting at its finest, ladies and gentlemen.
(stay tuned for Chapter 3 ; The Composition of a Blart)
- Joined
- Feb 4, 2013
I can't believe you forgot to mention how I'm practically untouchable. Otherwise good job
H
HG 400
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kiwifarms.net
That's in Chapter 6 ; Typical Blarting Pitfalls (coming soon)
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