Elf Hate Thread

Elves may live longer but their own hubris fucks them over in the end.

The Dwemer? Poked the heart of a dead god for “science” and despawned themselves from Nirn.

Ayleids? Turns out being big on slavery, torture and daedra worship is a great way to collect enemies. Which may include certain Aedra.

Falmer? Massacred the Atmorans unprovoked and ended up getting bitch slapped hard by Ysgramor. And then they became the Dwemer’s bitch.
 
The attempt to retcon the open hostility towards elves in the Dwarf Fortress user base by the growing tranny faction was the canary in the coal mine to its decline. Their autistic insistence against wood products puts them near the bottom of the hierarchy of subhumans, only superior to dwarves aristocrats because they’ll at least produce trade goods.

Tolkien’s elves are actually pretty great. Their biggest issue was getting tricked into helping forge all-but-one of the magic rings. They’ve shown capabilities of taking on foes of greater scope to the same relative degree you see from men and hobbits and dwarves and ents, though that is undercut slightly by the fact they can’t truly die. Which is an aspect of Tolkien that derivative fantasy works fail to emulate; that elves are Tolkien describing how nature spirits, bound to the Earth, would work without having to have a stupid “hard-magic system,” much like how derivative novels fail to capture the tone of TLotR. Honestly, Tolkien-derived works have just as much lineage from Moorcock’s elves being a rejection of Tolkien’s.

Anime elves, especially in today’s creatively-bankrupt hellscape of isekai, are simply the magical girlfriend trope with any actual character design stripped out. This is true for all of them, including Frieren and Sui. Granted, the fantasy is “my girlfriend will never grow old,” as opposed to “my girlfriend will always look ten-years-old,” which is reserved for the likes of dragons or vampires or dwarves.
 
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Reactions: Vecr and dongykung
Kill elves, behead elves, roundhouse kick elves into the concrete, slam dunk a elven baby into the trash can, crucify filthy elves, defecate into elves food, launch elves into the sun, stir fry elves in a wok, toss elves into the pits of Grilax, urinate into an elves' gas tank, Judo throw elves into a wood chipper, twist elves heads off, report elves to the Gommo, karate chop elves in half, curb stomp pregnant elves, trap elves in quicksand, crush elves in the trash compactor, liquify elves in a vat of acid, eat elves, dissect elves, exterminate elves in the gas chamber, stomp elven skulls with steel-toed boots, cremate elves in the oven, lobotomize elves, mandatory abortions for elves, drown elves in leaf lover's special, vaporize elves with conjuration magic, kick old elves down the stairs, feed elves to wargs, slice elves with a spellblade.
 
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Reactions: Billy_Sama!, Male Idiot, BIG BILL HELL'S and 1 other person
elves are proficient in magic which is up there with human warrior classes as the best options in games they also tend to be good with bows sorry but ill reserve my hatred for true lesser species like orcs and gnomes
 
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images 3.webp


Yep, that’s right! Just keep hating elves. They’re the ones who keep doing awful things to you people. Say, you should probably wander off by yourself in lonely cornfields and forests to hunt some elves. Do us, um, I mean the elves a favor though and lube your anus up first… it’s like cold iron or something. Keeps their magic from working.
 
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Reactions: Male Idiot and Penis Drager 2.0
Ed2_AytXgAAIf8H.webp>(((elf))) in party
>runs ahead, aggros patrol
>hoovers pickups
>picks up grim, dies to clanrat
>loaded bow into my fucking head
 
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