Elliot Page / Ellen Page - Former actress, starred in Juno. Turned into a pooner and divorced her wife because being a lesbian was not boosting her career anymore. Receives a daily dose of asspatting from Hollywood. Likes to show off her "male" body using fake abdominals.

  • 🐕 I am attempting to get the site runnning as fast as possible. If you are experiencing slow page load times, please report it.
The shitty makeup and suits reminded me of something Pinterest inexplicably thought I would be interested in: tumblr_inline_oxj7feXhma1v0w7xs_500.jpg
Step 1 being of course, use makeup, and contradictory tips like "don't wear over-large shirts, but do wear comically oversized shoes and jackets."
From this tumblr
 
The shitty makeup and suits reminded me of something Pinterest inexplicably thought I would be interested in:View attachment 5688619
Step 1 being of course, use makeup, and contradictory tips like "don't wear over-large shirts, but do wear comically oversized shoes and jackets."
From this tumblr
Screenshot 2024-02-02 at 16-55-12 hell-O.png

>and that makes you pretty manly!

the funny thing is, as an actual biomale, i can tell you for a fact that doing the things in this list ironically make you less manly. following this guide will make you less of a man than disregarding the very feminine advice in it.
 
One thing she hasn't picked up on, suits--especially black tie--are dress codes, not modes of self-expression. Allowances can be made for the portraits, but that last candid shot with the dinner jacket (pocket flaps=bad), sleeves to her fingertips, no tie, and fucking Balenciaga (child molester) sneakers is an atrocity. Oh my God ... zooming in on the bottom of the jacket, I can see a bit of white peeking out ... I think her shirt is untucked. Her outfit is a bigger mess than her mutilated body.
 
How'd she manage to get well-fitting suits back then but is unable to now? It's not like she can't afford to have them tailored or customized.
my guess is as a dainty woman back then she was trying to look good and fashionable, now that she is a man she just buys them off the rack. and being such a manlet they dont tend to make them small enough for her.
It's because, in part, she's not dressing herself.
The tragic tuxedo is from the Met Gala. The way the Met Gala works is unless you're a top notch a lister that Anna Wintour deems fashionable, you do not get a direct invite. Designers selected by Anna Wintour buy tables at the Met Gala (this is how it's a gala- that's how they raise the money) and then invite celebrities who weren't otherwise invited to model their clothes.
The idea, of course, is that people like to look at celebrities and find out what they're wearing, so if you get some cool celebrities to sit on your table then the magazines and gossip websites will share lots of photos of your designs. This was Ellen's first red carpet as Elliot so she was going to get focused on (I note she's not been invited back since).
In Ellen's case she got invited by Balenciaga and that year Balenciaga had launched a variety of comically oversized suits:
1000025248-01.jpeg1000025249-01.jpeg1000025250-01.jpeg
For whatever reason the designer deliberately designed suits that didn't fit the way a suit is supposed to (sleeves too long, shoulders too big etc).
The guests then get dressed by the fashion house. How much leeway a guest gets really depends on how much the designer wants them there and how famous the guest is. I'm pretty sure they just showed her a rack of giant suits and told her which one she'd be wearing. Even if she wanted to swap it out for something else, there likely weren't any suits on offer that did fit, and she couldn't ask Balenciaga to tailor the suit to fit because that defeats the point of getting her to show off their oversized suits. So she probably just got watery eyes and put the tux on. They added in a green corsage as a reference to a green carnation (an old gay man symbol).
The next time she appeared on a red carpet was the Balenciaga fashion show. This was a weird one because they made their red carpet into the fashion runway as well and had models walking it - and Ellen was actually there as a model (again, to get clicks). Models have even less say in what they wear and so -
1000025256-01.jpeg
Again with the oversized suits and the amusing clown shoes. Honestly it does kinda feel like Demna Gvasalia wanted to humiliate her lol.

Since then she's been a brand ambassador for Gucci. Celebrities who are brand ambassadors get paid a bunch of money to wear specific pieces on red carpets or out and about to increase the visibility of those clothes (it's become a meme that Chanel can't dress actresses so any actress who's a Chanel ambassador ends up looking frumpy for a couple years). By accepting the contract she then has to wear some Gucci stuff. You can see it actually fits, but Gucci has its own design ethos which isn't flattering to Ellen either
GettyImages-1388064718.jpg
75282597-0-image-a-48_1694409073211.jpg
GettyImages-1241443697.jpg
gettyimages-1928223200-612x612.jpg
wl_42425_5949915.jpg
That said while most of these outfits are Gucci, these shirts aren't-
ElliotPage.jpg
378016216_1728216221025358_6915896507927646582_n.jpg
- they're Todd Snyder, so she gets some lee way. Todd Snyder isn't terribly well known but is revered in fashion circles, and "putting brown and black together" is apparently a cutting edge trend, so that tipped me off she's got an interesting stylist. Sure enough
1000025267-01.jpeg
She hired Pete Davidson's stylist. That does explain a lot.
 
The point I was making is that she wasn't the kind of actress that depends entirely on her looks to get any offers so her looks fading wasn't the career-ending disaster she thought it was.
And the point I was making is that average or ugly women can't afford to lose what little looks we have and can sometimes react more strongly than an attractive woman does to aging.
 
Every one of those outfits would look better on a hanger than on a ventriloquist dummy like Ellen. It’s probably thanks to the money she’s thrown at giving herself the physique of Ren Höek that those clothes all look like she undresses by laying on the floor and crawling out of them like a newborn chihuahua.
 
How'd she manage to get well-fitting suits back then but is unable to now? It's not like she can't afford to have them tailored or customized.

those suits are cut for women, that’s why they fit, because she has a woman’s body.

now that she’s a dood she’s trying to wear men’s cut suits which don’t look good because she is not a man.
 
Every one of those outfits would look better on a hanger than on a ventriloquist dummy like Ellen. It’s probably thanks to the money she’s thrown at giving herself the physique of Ren Höek that those clothes all look like she undresses by laying on the floor and crawling out of them like a newborn chihuahua.
If ever there's going to be a KingcobraJFS cinematic experience, Ellen can play Shon!
[imagine a masterpiece, Josh in the dog chair with Ellen on his knee]
I'd add an actual picture but the site is having a fit and my skills in photoshop are epic(not)!
 
If ever there's going to be a KingcobraJFS cinematic experience, Ellen can play Shon!
[imagine a masterpiece, Josh in the dog chair with Ellen on his knee]
I'd add an actual picture but the site is having a fit and my skills in photoshop are epic(not)!

I think Reface did a decent job:

reface-2024-02-04-07-09-29.jpg
 
I bet FTMs get so jealous of men like Pete Davidson. Charismatic, funny, tall and can effortlessly pull beautiful woman despite looking like he only showers once a month.

It's what they all want. Admiration without effort. 20 years ago they would have been big fans of Pete Doherty.
View attachment 5689272
Pete Doherty only looked like that because he was young and a junkie. He got off the drugs and got really fucking fat. He looks like shit nowadays.

1000012954.jpg

I hate him and wish he'd died instead of Amy Winehouse. :'(
 
Back