Elphaba was having a lovely day out in Leeds, splashing cash around in Louis Vuitton and buying luxury skincare. Shortly after going live at the hairdresser's...
...Elphaba got banned.
He'd just announced he'd be taking a sojourn in Newcastle Upon Tyne, so brace for an imminent meltdown on the TransPennine Express... he's currently seething in a hairdresser's chair.
This is my first proper thread (I did an Isabella Janke tracking one when she had her own subforum) so I don't actually know what the process is for moving out of the PG
This is my first proper thread (I did an Isabella Janke tracking one when she had her own subforum) so I don't actually know what the process is for moving out of the PG
We've made it out of PG! But Elphaba has not successfully gotten his TikTok account unbanned, so has made a new one:
People have apparently been mass reporting him for "impersonating the musical Wicked", which he has not done (he doesn't claim to be officially affiliated), but you know what it's like when there's enough mass reports. He's apparently alluded to changing his name to avoid this in future.
The new account actually got banned about three hours ago, but it's already back.
Elphaba's not had too much drama since the banning. He has been stimming again, although he isn't pretending it's tourette's any more.
Otherwise he's been going out in Leeds a bit more - as per usual the zoomer paps have been keeping track, and then Elphie apparently gatecrashed someone's table at Revolutions in Leeds city centre;
Jay, meanwhile, is seemingly getting tired of Elphaba's antics despite living with him. He was in "Monday gossip forum" where he apparently was asked if he was Team Elphaba or Team Mama Kaz, to which he said neither because they're both so dramatic. Additionally he was showing that Talia woman Elphaba's venom costume and joking about wearing it -
(I have no idea how much the venom costume cost, but it's upsetting to look at. It hasn't made an appearance in quite some time)
Then they're generally not being friendly sometimes (although they're still going out for dinner etc)
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Jay also had an excrutiating live with his friend Antonio where he mostly took the piss out of Elphaba, and purpotedly was gifting Evil Queen money. I assume Elphie doesn't keep track of what Jay's up to.
There's been some drama about "Max Balegde" calling out drama but I'm out of the loop on that front. Only other news is apparently Elphaba has booked an international holiday for next month, so apologies in advance to whatever country receives him.
Great OP! I've seen that Evil Queen before, what an absolute cunt he is, proper horrible, bitchy fag. This is a nice little universe unfolding full of utter creatures.
People have apparently been mass reporting him for "impersonating the musical Wicked", which he has not done (he doesn't claim to be officially affiliated), but you know what it's like when there's enough mass reports.
It's boring, he did a podcast where he said he was unhappy about how much Smelphie lies all the time. It was basically just him trying to disassociate himself with Elfbar because they'd had a somewhat positive relationship in the past and he doesn't want to get cancelled for supporting him.
A relatively minor update. Elphaba has updated his username to "Elle"
(He then had to specifically clarify that this was not in homage to the trans character from Heartstopper)
For some reason his unstoppable march North continues and he's in Bishop Auckland (a market town up near Middlesbrough that'd be about three hours train journey from Leeds):
There's claims that apparently the place he and Jay moved to recently is actually located in Newfield (a small village near to Bishop Auckland) but it's unclear if that's true (if Elphaba was doing day trips to Leeds to make people think he and Jay were still in the area around Hebden Bridge, that's actually pretty smart). He's just bought a Canon 4000D and a Macbook Air (which would explain the trip to CEX, which is a second hand tech shop) that he very clearly does not how to use, and also some fancy face cream. Unfortunately snot dripped out his nose while applying the fancy face cream and so he smeared it all over his face:
He also rather distressing picked up some supplies for his slime fetish, although the fact he posted it on his story suggests he might at least just be doing this for a joke.
This gave me laugh earlier. Looks like it’s from the same live shown above. For the lazy, he shows pictures he took with his new camera of himself near some bins and goes “look how hot that is”.
Also whatever the fuck this is: (I guess he’s had his wash for the month)
Doing the maths on this, Evil Queen came 3rd last week with 3.9 million diamonds. 3,900,000 ÷ 65 = $60,000. A third of that is $20,400 and so EQ would have earned approximately £16,000 from one week of cyberbullying.
... that is not necessarily FAS, that's what people from Cornwall and Devon look like away from the holiday home areas. It's got something to do with the radiation micro-dosing they get from the tin in their water supply, the same thing that makes the cats down their lose all of their guard hairs. Rural Devon is a landscape cursed by witchcraft; you will depart in a hurry believing in ghosts and magic spells, which suits the locals just fine, and don't they just let you know it.
They are no strangers to dressing up, slapping on face paint, and making a loud nuisance of themselves in the streets, either:
You can see the similar Devonshire FAS-esque faces even in this tiny sample. That's from a recent-ish Darkie Day, and it pisses the press off every Solstice that they can't ban the event because it stretches back several thousand years, even being remarked on by the Romans. At least these days they don't wickerman anyone, well, not in public anyway.
... that is not necessarily FAS, that's what people from Cornwall and Devon look like away from the holiday home areas. It's got something to do with the radiation micro-dosing they get from the tin in their water supply, the same thing that makes the cats down their lose all of their guard hairs. Rural Devon is a landscape cursed by witchcraft; you will depart in a hurry believing in ghosts and magic spells, which suits the locals just fine, and don't they just let you know it.
They are no strangers to dressing up, slapping on face paint, and making a loud nuisance of themselves in the streets, either:
You can see the similar Devonshire FAS-esque faces even in this tiny sample. That's from a recent-ish Darkie Day, and it pisses the press off every Solstice that they can't ban the event because it stretches back several thousand years, even being remarked on by the Romans. At least these days they don't wickerman anyone, well, not in public anyway.
cats look sad cause of region? I'm mostly upset cause I'm drunkl. But i do appreciate cultural traditions not being banished cause of western-ni-zation.
... that is not necessarily FAS, that's what people from Cornwall and Devon look like away from the holiday home areas. It's got something to do with the radiation micro-dosing they get from the tin in their water supply, the same thing that makes the cats down their lose all of their guard hairs. Rural Devon is a landscape cursed by witchcraft; you will depart in a hurry believing in ghosts and magic spells, which suits the locals just fine, and don't they just let you know it.
They are no strangers to dressing up, slapping on face paint, and making a loud nuisance of themselves in the streets, either:
You can see the similar Devonshire FAS-esque faces even in this tiny sample. That's from a recent-ish Darkie Day, and it pisses the press off every Solstice that they can't ban the event because it stretches back several thousand years, even being remarked on by the Romans. At least these days they don't wickerman anyone, well, not in public anyway.
Interesting point about his unfortunate face. I do think he has signs of FAS but he looks exactly like his boondock parents, a combination of their worst features:
The cranks on the subreddit (which is unreadable, so much Helen Lovejoy-esque pearl clutching and hand wringing about Elphie being a nonce) are convinced he doesn't have FAS. I'm leaning into a combination of parents features, mild FAS and just being from deepest darkest Barnstaple.
On a side note does anyone know why Barnstaple has such a high % of black people? Looking at the demographics it's 14% black which seems awfully high for that part of the country.
I know that a lot of people transitioning have troon caves that truly show how hygienic they are, but Doherty's TikTok with the snot smearing should be submitted as evidence that this person is extremely unlikely to take highly rigorous care like dilating, and should not be considered a good fit to transitioning healthily.
I am really looking forward to a big happening meaning that Null has to cover Elphaba. It has everything he loves: troons, Brits, Gender GP, bad singing, regional accents, TikTok and zoomer humour.
Elphaba decided to go to Manchester Pride (albeit for the Friday, which was before the main events of the weekend). Getting pissed and putting glitter on his face = fighting for his rights, apparently.
He appears to have had a very heavy day of it, as his face swelled up like a balloon the next day from the hangover.
A while later he shat himself on live. He's also developed a challenging new grift approach, which is very slowly eating food and only eating more of it when he reaches a certain number of TikTok stickers.
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He's subsequently headed off to Blackpool pleasure beach (note for international Kiwis: this name is ironic), where a random local called him a paedo. He's gone to Blackpool by himself, seemingly.
Meanwhile there's been a development with Jay. Him and Elphaba have "parted ways" and he's having a meltdown as this is rendering him homeless. Apparently after getting doxed and fleeing the place he lived in Hebden Bridge, he used all his money to book into AirBNBs with Elphaba. His money has now run out (I guess he didn't save anything from when he TikTok duelled with Elphie) and he is facing being homeless with his Husky. It's a bit unclear but "the police and the council" have said where he was living is now unsafe (whether this is from a risk of hatecrimes or because the building is condemned isn't obvious... he's made allusions to his neighbours making threats against his life, but in that scenario you'd assume emergency accomodation would be provided).
He is complaining that finding a new place is difficult and that moving house is expensive and stressful, especially in the cost of living crisis (his audience do seem to point out that everyone in the country who rents is in the exact same situation, and questioned why he got an expensive dog in an unstable living situation and hasn't considered... getting a job).
Ignore the caption on that one - Jay's not talking about taking Elphaba to court, but an "ex best friend" who leaked his address
The RSPCA (Royal Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Animals) also paid Jay a visit, apparently over people repeatedly reporting him for animal cruelty for keeping the dog in a too-small cage. They gave him the OK, but are apparently unaware of his plan to live in his car with the dog.
Elphaba's opinion is that he wishes he could help Jay but he "can't" as his tenancy agreement doesn't allow dogs, but people could always TikTok gift Jay for a place to stay...
...in Elphaba's (limited) defence, it does sound like he did offer to help Jay out and offered Jay money; Jay's just mad that Elphaba won't pay for him to live somewhere with a dog (mostly because Elphaba hates his poorly trained dog). At the same time, he appears to have discarded Jay on a whim, pretty much. They're both just kinda crap people.
Yes, Elphaba was gushing about starting hormones! Although he can't pronounce the name of his medication (I assume he's talking about combined oestrogen and progesterone)
GenderGP are a bit notorious for seeming medical malpractice - prescribing children as young as 12 HRT and failing to schedule any follow up appointments (and as far as I'm aware, WPATH guidelines would say that 12 year olds should only go on puberty blockers and not HRT). They absolutely could have just doled out the prescription no questions asked. However it's worth noting that Elphie has simultaneously started alluding to having a heart murmur and high blood pressure...
...which were the exact reasons Jack couldn't go on testosterone so I wouldn't be shocked if there was a "Elphaba can't take HRT" storyline in the future to kick the can down the road a bit.
Wait, how do your face swell up from a hangover? Even when I was so drunk that I praised amholes my face didn't do that; is it some weird medical condition that causes it? I've heard people getting a big red alcoholic's nose, but that's from drinking for decades...
cats look sad cause of region? I'm mostly upset cause I'm drunkl. But i do appreciate cultural traditions not being banished cause of western-ni-zation.
