LGBT [Email] The Piercing and Bisexuality

[Francis York Morgan]

A couple of more questions for Thetan (hopefully a little lighter than the last one):

1. What do you feel is the biggest takeaway from your interactions with Chris?

2. There has been some debate as to what exactly Chris is looking for in terms of companionship. What are your thoughts on the matter?

 

[Thetan]

Rebeckah tried several times to get Chris to seek professional help, but he always rebuffed her. He said that he had his Pastoral Counselor (Rocky) and that was enough. Being that he's on SSI (and probably Medicaid), he could probably get some sort of counseling set up (if he were willing).

 

[Francis York Morgan]

Rebeckah tried several times to get Chris to seek professional help, but he always rebuffed her. He said that he had his Pastoral Counselor (Rocky) and that was enough. Being that he's on SSI (and probably Medicaid), he could probably get some sort of counseling set up (if he were willing).

Did you ever press him on the matter or did he express why he thinks Rocky is enough?

 

[Thetan]

A couple of more questions for Thetan (hopefully a little lighter than the last one):

1. What do you feel is the biggest takeaway from your interactions with Chris?

2. There has been some debate as to what exactly Chris is looking for in terms of companionship. What are your thoughts on the matter?

This isn't a complete response, so please bear with me.

With Chris, it was often "one step forward - two steps back", he'd improve say in his attitude towards gay men, but he'll go out and vandalize a store display (or something equally stupid). I really need to review the Rebeckah emails to get a clearer picture (and provide a better explanation) and I just don't have the time to do that at the moment.

As I said before, one of the main things Rebeckah tried to do is to get Chris to let go of his past, forget about the gal pals, and go out and make friends for himself. She suggested that he look gaming groups or Pokemon leagues that he could join in his area. (Yeah, this was a bit of a gamble but I was hoping that maybe Chris had learned something from his experience at The Game Place that he may simply be happy to have somewhere like this to go and maybe he would behave himself). Nothing really ever came of that. He found a group that met at UVA, but, as far as I know, he never went.

Chris would forget about the gal pals for a little while, then suddenly start obsessing about them again. I don't know what triggered him. I would definitely call this effort a failure. Despite my efforts, Chris went on to build another Lego Manchester High School, this one complete with mini figs of all the gal pals. At that point, I gave up.

As far as what Chris is looking for in a relationship, I'd say the biggest thing is security. He hasn't come right out and said it, but I believe he realizes that Barb is old and not in the best health, and she's not going to be around to take care of him forever. Marvin has mentioned this before and I believe he's right on the money. You could say that Chris is looking for a "fuck mommy" (yeah kinda crude but it sums it up).

I also don't think Chris is interested in sex so much as he's interested in finding someone who will protect him and fight all of his battles for him. Chris wants someone else to be the adult in the relationship, which will allow him to continue living in the manner to which he's become accustomed.

Did you ever press him on the matter or did he express why he thinks Rocky is enough?

I pressed him until it became obvious that I wasn't going to get anywhere with him.

 

[Tragi-Chan]

Christ.I thought he said Rocky wasn't any use any more? I can't imagine for a minute that she'd say, "Go, Chris! Go out and mutilate your genitals with a safety pin to the extreme!" I suspect that Rocky is basically another ass-patter. Not deliberately, but because she isn't really qualified to deal with the problems Chris has.

But yeah, the more I read about this whole Tomgirl saga, the more disturbing it gets. He needs to see a professional, if only to figure out what the hell his deal is. When he started cross-dressing it was kinda funny, like "LOL CHRIS NEEDS A BRA." Now it's cock-hate and deciding he likes the look of his infected fissure and just not funny any more. All in all I'm starting to feel like someone who watched The Great Dictator and then followed it up with footage from Auschwitz.

I also don't think Chris is interested in sex so much as he's interested in finding someone who will protect him and fight all of his battles for him. Chris wants someone else to be the adult in the relationship, which will allow him to continue living in the manner to which he's become accustomed.

I think I've come around to this point of view. He is a horny bastard still, but if he just wanted sex, he's discovered the dubious joys of hookers. I think the sweetheart search has always had a strong element of someone to hug him and tell him it's going to be alright. I suspect that as Barb has got older, crazier and more dependent, he's felt the need for someone in loco parentis all the more acutely.

 

[Francis York Morgan]

This isn't a complete response, so please bear with me.

With Chris, it was often "one step forward - two steps back", he'd improve say in his attitude towards gay men, but he'll go out and vandalize a store display (or something equally stupid). I really need to review the Rebeckah emails to get a clearer picture (and provide a better explanation) and I just don't have the time to do that at the moment.

As I said before, one of the main things Rebeckah tried to do is to get Chris to let go of his past, forget about the gal pals, and go out and make friends for himself. She suggested that he look gaming groups or Pokemon leagues that he could join in his area. (Yeah, this was a bit of a gamble but I was hoping that maybe Chris had learned something from his experience at The Game Place that he may simply be happy to have somewhere like this to go and maybe he would behave himself). Nothing really ever came of that. He found a group that met at UVA, but, as far as I know, he never went.

Chris would forget about the gal pals for a little while, then suddenly start obsessing about them again. I don't know what triggered him. I would definitely call this effort a failure. Despite my efforts, Chris went on to build another Lego Manchester High School, this one complete with mini figs of all the gal pals. At that point, I gave up.

I think part of what triggers Chris's obsession with high school is the media he consumes. Most of the shows he seems interested in these days are targeted towards preteens or are based around a school setting (ex. Equestria Girls). Did you ever consider recommending other shows for him to watch to see if it would have improved things?

As far as what Chris is looking for in a relationship, I'd say the biggest thing is security. He hasn't come right out and said it, but I believe he realizes that Barb is old and not in the best health, and she's not going to be around to take care of him forever. Marvin has mentioned this before and I believe he's right on the money. You could say that Chris is looking for a "fuck mommy" (yeah kinda crude but it sums it up).

I also don't think Chris is interested in sex so much as he's interested in finding someone who will protect him and fight all of his battles for him. Chris wants someone else to be the adult in the relationship, which will allow him to continue living in the manner to which he's become accustomed.

More or less confirmation of what we've all been thinking. However, lately I've been thinking that perhaps it would be more appropriate to say that what Chris wants is a nanny. Unless, of course, you believe that there might be some level of emotional incest at work that drives him more towards maternal figures (ick).

 

[garbageraider]

As far as what Chris is looking for in a relationship, I'd say the biggest thing is security. He hasn't come right out and said it, but I believe he realizes that Barb is old and not in the best health, and she's not going to be around to take care of him forever. Marvin has mentioned this before and I believe he's right on the money. You could say that Chris is looking for a "fuck mommy" (yeah kinda crude but it sums it up).

I also don't think Chris is interested in sex so much as he's interested in finding someone who will protect him and fight all of his battles for him. Chris wants someone else to be the adult in the relationship, which will allow him to continue living in the manner to which he's become accustomed.

Chris wants to avoid responsibility. He doesn't want to grow up and take care of himself, either because he's unwilling, unable, or both. Also, when Barb dies, Chris will be alone and have nobody in his daily life. Almost nobody wants that level of isolation. Chris is desperate for a new caretaker to pay the bills for him so that he can keep playing with legos and playing the vidya after barb dies. He would prefer an attractive female that he can sex, but as Chris gets more desperate, he'll start looking for anyone who is willing to take him in after Barb dies.

 

[Thetan]

Christ.I thought he said Rocky wasn't any use any more? I can't imagine for a minute that she'd say, "Go, Chris! Go out and mutilate your genitals with a safety pin to the extreme!" I suspect that Rocky is basically another ass-patter. Not deliberately, but because she isn't really qualified to deal with the problems Chris has.

But yeah, the more I read about this whole Tomgirl saga, the more disturbing it gets. He needs to see a professional, if only to figure out what the hell his deal is. When he started cross-dressing it was kinda funny, like "LOL CHRIS NEEDS A BRA." Now it's cock-hate and deciding he likes the look of his infected fissure and just not funny any more. All in all I'm starting to feel like someone who watched The Great Dictator and then followed it up with footage from Auschwitz.

This is one of the reasons I ended my involvement. Everything you say to Chris is processed through his warped reality filter. You could give him some good solid advice, only to have him turn around and act on it in a manner that was unexpected (and sometimes disturbing).

I pushed Chris to get more involved with the LGBT community because I thought he might meet others there who were going through similar emotions/conflicts regarding their gender identities. These people could empathize with him and could potentially become friends at some point. Others have said that the LGBT community may be more accepting\welcoming of Chris and I agree. I figured it was worth a shot.

He's attended a few events, but I don't really know how much he actually interacted with people.

Did you ever consider recommending other shows for him to watch to see if it would have improved things?

I remember one specific recommendation I made. Chris likes comedies, so I recommended "SOAP" a classic 70's comedy that deftly lampooned daytime soap operas (and one of my all time favorites). SOAP dealt with adult themes, including homosexuality and racism. I thought that, as well as being entertaining, it might make him think a little bit and reexamine some of his attitudes.

 

[garbageraider]

I remember one specific recommendation I made. Chris likes comedies, so I recommended "SOAP" a classic 70's comedy that deftly lampooned daytime soap operas (and one of my all time favorites). SOAP dealt with adult themes, including homosexuality and racism. I thought that, as well as being entertaining, it might make him think a little bit and reexamine some of his attitudes.

Chris is very dense and thick headed, he is also very stubborn and resistant to change. Add to all this the facts that he's incredibly stupid, and that Barb is continually poisoning Chris's mind, and you realize that expecting Chris is think a little bit and reexamine some of his attitudes is quite optimistic indeed, unfortunately.

 

[Tragi-Chan]

I remember one specific recommendation I made. Chris likes comedies, so I recommended "SOAP" a classic 70's comedy that deftly lampooned daytime soap operas (and one of my all time favorites). SOAP dealt with adult themes, including homosexuality and racism. I thought that, as well as being entertaining, it might make him think a little bit and reexamine some of his attitudes.

I suspect it would sail over his head. He couldn't even figure out that South Park and Family Guy were satire.

 

[Thetan]

Chris is very dense and thick headed, he is also very stubborn and resistant to change. Add to all this the facts that he's incredibly stupid, and that Barb is continually poisoning Chris's mind, and you realize that expecting Chris is think a little bit and reexamine some of his attitudes is quite optimistic indeed, unfortunately.

Yes, but you never know what's going to resonate with Chris. I honestly didn't expect that getting him to watch "SOAP" would result in any sort of major epiphany, but it would at least get him to watch something a little more adult-oriented. You never know what Chris is going to take away from something like this: either way, I figured it couldn't hurt.

I was going to suggest that he rent and watch "American History X", but I decided against it (besides, I don't imagine that he'd be able to get through the infamous shower scene).

 

[Stud2Stud]

This is one of the reasons I ended my involvement. Everything you say to Chris is processed through his warped reality filter. You could give him some good solid advice, only to have him turn around and act on it in a manner that was unexpected (and sometimes disturbing).

Can you give a specific example of how he took some advice and twisted it?

Yes, but you never know what's going to resonate with Chris. I honestly didn't expect that getting him to watch "SOAP" would result in any sort of major epiphany, but it would at least get him to watch something a little more adult-oriented. You never know what Chris is going to take away from something like this: either way, I figured it couldn't hurt.

I was going to suggest that he rent and watch "American History X", but I decided against it (besides, I don't imagine that he'd be able to get through the infamous shower scene).

I guess it's almost impossible to understand what way Chris picks up things, so you can never know what he makes of something like a more adult-oriented show.
I can't help but imagining Chris watching something and then enjoy it for some obscure reason (like the music) while completely ignoring anything else. There's just stuff that flies right above Chris head and the moment that happens in a show (I guess), he just blanks out for a few minutes until something happens that grabs his attention (like the aforementioned music)

 

[ToroidalBoat]

I can't help but imagining Chris watching something and then enjoy it for some obscure reason.

If the past is any indication, he may enjoy something new and adult-oriented because he sees it as related to himself and/or MLP.

 

[MrsFrizzle]

One of the things Chris is concerned about is fathering a child. He's still intent on bringing "Crystal" into the world. He said recently that before he underwent gender reassignment surgery that he's want to either find a surrogate to have Crystal or at least donate sperm. (This is all a subject for another post.) This, and of course the cost, are the main things holding him back.

Even by Chris standards, that is delusional as hell. Surrogacy alone costs $50,000 and up, let alone the actual cost of raising a child.

And Chris is too old to donate sperm to a sperm bank. Nor is it easy to imagine an acquaintance who would want his sperm.

This just makes me sad.

 

[NegaCWC]

Rebeckah tried several times to get Chris to seek professional help, but he always rebuffed her. He said that he had his Pastoral Counselor (Rocky) and that was enough. Being that he's on SSI (and probably Medicaid), he could probably get some sort of counseling set up (if he were willing).

If we're already bringing up Rocky, can you give us any more info about Chris relations with his congregation? How often does he go to his church? How are they feeling about his sexual identity?

As I said before, one of the main things Rebeckah tried to do is to get Chris to let go of his past, forget about the gal pals, and go out and make friends for himself. She suggested that he look gaming groups or Pokemon leagues that he could join in his area. (Yeah, this was a bit of a gamble but I was hoping that maybe Chris had learned something from his experience at The Game Place that he may simply be happy to have somewhere like this to go and maybe he would behave himself). Nothing really ever came of that. He found a group that met at UVA, but, as far as I know, he never went.

I think that you should have told him to get over his aversion toward autistic people and encourage him to make friends among them. I think that he would have had a better chance of having genuine friendships (as opposed to pitty friendships) if he was willing to associate with other autistic people.

 

[Cid Highwind]

Even by Chris standards, that is delusional as hell. Surrogacy alone costs $50,000 and up, let alone the actual cost of raising a child.

And Chris is too old to donate sperm to a sperm bank. Nor is it easy to imagine an acquaintance who would want his sperm.

This just makes me sad.

Chris is not too old to donate to a sperm bank, early 30s is a very virile age...for most people. But there are other solid reasons that sperm banks would not be interested in a donation from Chris, namely screening out people with genetic diseases and chromosomal abnormalities. I'm of the belief that Chris is a classic case of Klinefelter syndrome. This would rule him out if it were indeed the case.

 

[MrsFrizzle]

Chris is not too old to donate to a sperm bank, early 30s is a very virile age...for most people.

Around here, sperm banks' cutoff is 30. But you're right that age is the least of Chris's disqualifications!

 

[Mister Lister]

Chris is too, or too little, of many things to donate sperm.

It's actually seriously hard to be accepted as a sperm donor. Ignoring all of the obvious 'no genetic abnormalities/diseases' you have to be over a certain height, your weight must be acceptable for your height, you have to have reached a certain level in education etc. etc.

They make money from your sperm and people only want 6'4" muscular astrophysicists for babies, so that is the only sperm they make money from. Ergo that is all they accept.

 

[Ian Brandon Something]

As a 6'3" muscular astrophysicist I feel so fucking inadequate right now I can't even

 

[BT 075]

They make money from your sperm and people only want 6'4" muscular astrophysicists for babies, so that is the only sperm they make money from. Ergo that is all they accept.

Actually, they don't. A single mother or lesbian couple might go with the tallest and handsomest of donors, but if a couple is struggling with infertility they usually go for a donor that has some form of physical resemblance to the adoptive father. A 5'10" brown haired infertile man and his wife would probably not use a donor who's 6'4" and blonde, because chances are the kid would look nothing like him.

Chris has some form of education, and he is not above the age of forty yet (which I believe is the cut off age). Technically speaking it's not impossible for him to donate, provided he lies about some of his more obvious defects, and he's actually fertile himself. It's a frightening thought, and definitely unlikely, but it's not entirely impossible for Chris to donate sperm.

Also, clients of a sperm bank don't usually get to see pictures of the donors: weirdly enough, they get to see baby pictures of the donor instead. On paper, and provided he finds a relatively normal looking baby picture, Chris doesn't look half as bad. An infertile couple of which the man shares some physical similarities with Chris, might unknowingly choose his sperm if he were to donate and got lucky.